“Well, they’re pretty strong…”
“Strong enough to make me hallucinate? I’m pretty sure if that were true, the Doctor’s Surgery pub would have a line of local stoners queuing up to get theirs every night.”
“Or maybe you did hit someone but couldn’t find him in the fog.”
“Well, that’s made me feel much better. And the voices?”
“You probably did hear voices, but they could have been anyone. This is a maze, Beth. You could hear people in the next row and not see them before they’d got to the exit.”
I paused. That was true, but these voices had stopped abruptly, as soon as I got into the courtyard. It’s not like I was overhearing some people who had just walked off in a different direction.
“Fine. And the girl at The Pit?”
His face was a blank. “Who?”
Oh yes, I’d forgotten I’d kept that little gem to myself. “I didn’t tell you… but remember when we were all at The Pit together and I sent Freddie looking for that girl that looked about four?”
He nodded slowly, as if he was having trouble remembering something from two months ago.
“Well I followed her to the toilets, but when I got there, she’d vanished. She was in a cubicle, and then she wasn’t.”
Will was looking dubious again. “So why didn’t you tell anyone?”
“It was kind of eclipsed by the whole Emma thing. But I saw the girl again, at the Random Violation gig.”
Another look of doubt. “Oh yeah?”
“Yes. She was on the stage. Standing right next to Mark Robson.”
“No, she wasn’t… I think people would notice if a little girl appeared on stage with a rock band.”
I gritted my teeth. “I know.”
He smiled sheepishly, shrugging.
“OK, forget the girl. What about the scar?”
Will looked stumped on that one.
“It’s a bit different when there’s evidence, isn’t it?”
He wavered. “Could you have scraped yourself on something sticking out of the wall?”
“Something that scraped my skin but not my clothes? Now you’re the one not making any sense.”
“The point is, most of these things can be explained; I wouldn’t want you to get worried over nothing.”
Tears sprung to my eyes as it occurred to me that having one of your closest friends not believe you was quite possibly one of the worst feelings in the world. I thought of telling him about Hill Top - the music, the door, the photo flying across the room. But there was no point if he wasn’t believing a single word I said.
“Beth, I’m just trying to help. Enough bad things are happening around here without throwing all that into the mix. You’re just making yourself stressed for nothing.”
I wanted to keep talking, to convince him that it was all true. I thought about telling him about the encounter with Connor and the Garden Man as well, but I just couldn’t face any more rejection.
Wiping away my tears, I nodded, pretending to give in. Maybe I really was giving in, letting Will confirm all my doubts about what was happening to me; maybe alcohol was partly to blame, or my over-active imagination, or maybe someone was just messing with me.
And then there was always the thing that scared me so much more than supposedly seeing dead people ever could; maybe I’d just gone completely and totally 100% crazy. “You’re probably right.”
Will didn’t look convinced. “Really?”
“Let’s just leave it. I think I want to go home now.”
He looked crushed. “But there’s still loads of stuff to do! I heard you and V were the last ones to leave last year.”
I shook my head. “A lot of things have changed since last year.”
Taking a deep breath, I stood up, waiting for Will to go.
He looked at me helplessly. “I don’t know the way out.”
***
I led Will past the identical, perfectly trimmed rows of dark green hedges, glancing at the only distinguishing features of the seemingly never-ending labyrinth: fake gravestones and mini mausoleums had been evenly spaced along the lush foliage, and they did a spectacular job of quashing any kind of beauty the maze had previously had.
They only held my attention for a few moments, however. I hadn’t realised it but I was physically shaking from the recent incident in the courtyard, and the subsequent cringe-worthy conversation. Will kept looking at me with concern and all I wanted was to pull myself together, at least until I was on my own and could break down without worrying about witnesses.
I was just wondering if Will would let me go home by myself so I could be alone, when I started hearing a real voice from up ahead, possibly round a bend or two. I glanced at Will to check that I wasn’t hearing things again, and he mouthed ‘Veronica’ to me at the same moment that I twigged who it was.
She seemed to be talking to someone, pausing for moments of silence. She must have been on the phone. Here it was, the moment I’d been waiting for; I could try and talk to V while she was on her own and in one of the places that held great childhood memories for both of us.
Then I started shaking again, quite uncontrollably. I couldn’t deal with this now, I just couldn’t; one harsh word from V and I would definitely break down right there in the middle of the maze.
I took Will’s hand, and much to his bewilderment, walked quickly back towards the courtyard, trying not to make too much noise treading on the stony ground.
I was trying to get back to the maze centre so we could hopefully get out the other side of the courtyard before Veronica appeared, but her voice was already getting louder, and in a panic I ran towards one of the fake mausoleums, opening the plastic door and pushing Will inside before getting in myself.
The door of the mausoleum barely closed; it had looked pretty big from the outside, taking up half the width of the path, but it soon became extremely apparent that it was a sort of anti-TARDIS. It was obviously meant to be looked at and not used, and I’d inadvertently forced Will and myself into an embarrassingly over-friendly position, squeezed into a fake crypt.
A very small fake crypt. Tiny in fact. With not much air.
I tried not to dwell on that too much.
To top it off, Will hadn’t done up my dress quite tightly enough and it now fitted even worse than it did when I’d first put it on. I looked down and got an eyeful of cleavage; I could only guess what Will’s vantage point was. I couldn’t even be grateful that it was dark (although that would have freaked me out even more); there was a spotlight just outside the mausoleum and more than enough light was filtering through the thin plastic door. I just hoped Veronica wouldn’t be able to see our silhouettes through it.
I glanced up at his face (which was easier said than done when there was hardly room to breathe) to find that he looked just as uncomfortable as me. Rising on my toes slightly, I whispered into his ear, “I swear I thought this would be bigger.”
He smiled awkwardly. “I’m not complaining.”
After a few seconds of silence, I looked down to avoid his gaze and saw that the door hadn’t closed properly. To make it worse, my billowing skirt was poking out of the gap.
“Oh great.” I bent over as much as I could in the confined space and tried to free the stubborn fabric. I looked quickly out of the slit in the door and saw V; she was about twenty feet away, looking at one of the cheap Hallowe’en decorations whilst talking on the phone.
The dress fabric was caught on a stray bit of plastic and the more I fiddled with it, the more stuck it became and the more exasperated I grew. I could feel a kind of hysteria rising in me and I told myself to stop being so melodramatic.
I’d just managed to reel in the excess material when Veronica turned in my direction, and quickly pulling the door to, I impulsively held onto Will, hoping she hadn’t seen me.
I could feel Will’s arms stiffen, and then loosen as he put them around me. “Beth?” he whispered. “What’s going on? Why are we hi
ding from Veronica? She’s the one usually avoiding you…”
I just couldn’t cope with this anymore. I was dressed as a Victorian woman, hiding in a fake crypt that was much too small for someone with claustrophobia, pushed up next to Will Wolseley of all people, and the person I was hiding from - the person I was scared of running into - was my former best friend.
Who was possibly my sister.
I was amazed my brain didn’t just explode right there and then.
“Beth?”
Will was waiting for a response but I had no idea what to say. I had to stop him talking as I could hear Veronica getting closer, so I shook my head, hoping he’d get the message. He must have heard her too because he shut up as her voice became more audible.
I listened to what she was saying, while all the time leaning against Will’s shoulder.
“Can you tell Norman to back off?… Yeah, he just cornered me… I’m at Chillingsley… Yes! You can’t stop me from at least trying to have fun…”
Who was she talking to? Someone who had influence over Norman? I moved slightly to peer at Will’s face. He looked confused too, but whether about Veronica or me, I wasn’t sure.
V’s voice suddenly became much louder. “No, I haven’t. I’m in the maze, I thought I might see her…”
She was right outside the mausoleum now, and I stiffened against Will again. If she opened the door and saw us like this, she would definitely get the wrong idea, and seeing as she’d got mad at me at the pub just because Will hugged me… well, it wouldn’t be good.
Luckily, I didn’t have to worry for much longer, as her voice started getting fainter again. “Yes, I know. As if I could forget… Yes I’ll come round for Dad’s birthday… No, I’m not just saying that… Yeah, bye.”
I could barely make out the last word, and I guessed she’d walked off round the corner towards the courtyard. Relaxing, I stood back slightly, looking down in thought.
“Beth? Are you alright?” Will placed his hand under my chin and raised it until I was staring straight at him.
He looked so concerned, so worried about my possible breakdown, that I could feel myself getting angry. He’d done nothing wrong, and I knew that, but I wasn’t exactly thinking clearly. “You ask me if I’m alright? After I just tried to confide in you and you completely shot me down? No, I’m not alright.”
I thought I’d better not bring up the whole claustrophobia thing; I was trying to push that to the back of my mind until I thought it was safe to go back out onto the path.
Will tried to speak but I stopped him.
“I don’t know why I thought I could just come and have fun today. Do you know that I still have nightmares about the man in the garden?” This was true, but I didn’t tell Will that they were now always set outside the second-hand bookshop rather than outside my house. “I can’t even go to that bathroom at night because it brings it all back. I’m terrified of being alone, and I’m even more scared of what’s happening to me.”
Will shook his head and was about to say something when I cut him off again. I could feel tears - of anger, of fear, of disappointment - filling my eyes.
“Will, I’m seeing things, I’m hearing things. I’m hallucinating entire conversations! If you’re right and my beliefs are wrong, do you know what that means? It means there’s something seriously wrong with me. And to top it all off, I’m hiding from my former best friend, I’m petrified of a man in his eighties, I can’t even talk to my parents anymore…”
The last few words came out in a garbled mess as the tears engulfed me, and when Will pulled me towards him, I gave in to the hug.
I could feel him stroking my hair, although it wasn’t actually my hair, it was a Victorian wig. That kind of random thought would usually make me laugh, but I was currently too numb to find anything funny.
“Beth, I know you’re scared, anyone would be. But no matter what you think, you’re not alone. I’m not going anywhere, and I’ll be here whenever you need me. Even if it’s the middle of the night and you need an escort to the bathroom.” I could tell he was cracking a smile, trying to lighten the mood. “I mean it. Any time, I’ll be there.”
I mumbled into his shoulder, feeling my anger subside slightly. “Thanks, Will.”
There was a pause and I could tell he was smiling. “What was that?”
I leaned back so I could see him. “I said thanks. I mean it. I know you’re just trying to make me feel better; I’m sorry I had a go at you.” I hadn’t completely forgiven him, but I was just feeling so low that I figured anyone who was still willing to be my friend was OK by me.
He smiled back, raising his right hand so he could gently brush away one of the tears from my cheek. “No problem, B.”
He dropped his hand and moved it - along with his left one - around my waist. I tried to ignore it (which, again, was easier said than done in the confined space), so instead I just settled for smiling back.
“Beth…”
Will seemed to run out of words, and after a few seconds of hesitation, he leaned down quickly and pressed his lips against mine. I was so caught off guard that for a moment I couldn’t think at all and I just let him kiss me while my hands dangled awkwardly at my sides.
His hands moved up to cup my face as he pressed my body against the cool plastic of the wall, and I had a moment of worry that the whole façade would just collapse under the pressure.
A second or so passed, and before giving it any more thought, I brought my hands up to the back of his neck - feeling his warm, smooth skin - and kissed him back, with more enthusiasm than I’d intended. More enthusiasm than I ever thought I’d have for this unexpected situation.
The perfect moment lasted all of two seconds, after which my brain kicked in. A tangled flash of images passed through my mind: Emma, the Garden Man, the girl pulling my shirt off in Edinburgh, Hill Top Farm, Will.
Will not believing a single word I said.
A mixture of anger and sadness suddenly coursed through my body and I pulled away from him, pushing my hands against his chest and forcing him to stop.
There was a brief instant of complete embarrassment before I gladly opened the plastic door and stepped back into the path of the maze, drinking in the fresh night air and not even thinking about the possibility of Veronica being there. Luckily, she wasn’t, and I started walking towards the entrance when Will caught up with me.
“Erm…”
I cut him off, not wanting to talk about what just happened. “So, Veronica’s phone call was weird, wasn’t it?”
“Beth…”
“She sounded like she was talking to her mum… but why would she need to go round for her dad’s birthday? Isn’t she living with them anymore?”
“Look, can we just talk?”
I stopped walking. “Fine.”
“OK, what just happened?”
I turned to face him. “Well, it would seem that you decided to take advantage of the fact that I was upset and all over the place.”
His mouth opened in objection. “I wasn’t taking advantage! Beth…” he shook his head. “I’m sorry for the bad timing. But do you know how long I’ve waited to do that?”
Oh, God. As if I didn’t have enough to worry about.
“Will, I’m sorry… I don’t… I just don’t think about you in that way.”
Watching his face drain of colour made me feel physically sick. “I just thought… you know, we were getting close. You keep holding my hand, hugging me…” he shrugged, clearly embarrassed.
“Will… I kind of do that with everyone. I’m sorry if you thought…”
“Really? I’ve never seen you do that with…with…” I could tell he was frantically searching for a name, any name, which he could make his point with. It seemed to come to him suddenly. “Max!”
I laughed in spite of the awkward situation. “I’m not exactly friends with Max…”
Will shook his head, cheeks blazing red, with either embarrassment or anger, I couldn
’t tell. Probably both. “You kissed me back! You can’t deny that!”
I reached out for his hand, shaking my head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. Will, you’re my best…”
“Just drop it.” He nodded, as if to himself, then stormed off.
I didn’t have the heart to tell him he was going the wrong way.
***
A while later, we were just going past the statues near the entrance to the gardens when we walked by a couple and their daughter. I smiled at the parents automatically and then at the little girl, before realising it was one of the girls from the library. Lizzie or Jess.
She smiled back at me, but her expression soon turned to horror; she seemed to be looking at something just past my shoulder. I turned round to peer into the darkness but there was nothing there. Nothing visible, anyway.
Her parents had noticed now and were looking at me, accusation in their eyes. The mother looked down at Lizzie - I’m sure it was Lizzie. “Darling, what’s the matter?”
With pure fear in her eyes, Lizzie continued to stare just past me.
Will glanced from Lizzie to me, confusion clouding his features as he tried to figure out what was going on.
The father glared at me. “Who are you? Do you know my daughter?”
His tone was so sharp I didn’t know what to say, but surprisingly, Will came to my rescue. I could only assume that he was trying to hide his deep embarrassment; as if he could just pretend our little argument hadn’t happened.
“We met her and her friend in the library, they asked us about the ghost dog.” I noticed his eyes flicker to me on the G word and I winced. The parents were still glaring at us. “So she told them the story.”
Her mother bent down and picked Lizzie up, turning her back to us. This, unfortunately, still meant that Lizzie could see us both over her mum’s shoulder. Her expression hadn’t changed, and I was starting to feel very, very uncomfortable.
Her father’s voice got louder, booming through the tranquil gardens as he shouted, “That was you? She’s been having nightmares about that bloody dog for weeks!”
I expected Lizzie to flinch at the volume of his voice, or his language, but she just kept staring steadily past my shoulder.
Will tried to defend me. “Hey, they wanted to hear the story. They were having a great time! Anyway, they were already reading about it in the local legends section. Maybe you should keep a better eye on what she’s doing.”