flourishing business and a flowing cash, would at the firstword settle all my fortune on myself and children, and maintain me likea queen.
This was certainly right, and had I taken his advice, I had been reallyhappy; but my heart was bent upon an independency of fortune, and I toldhim I knew no state of matrimony but what was at best a state ofinferiority, if not of bondage; that I had no notion of it; that I liveda life of absolute liberty now, was free as I was born, and having aplentiful fortune, I did not understand what coherence the words "honourand obey" had with the liberty of a free woman; that I knew no reasonthe men had to engross the whole liberty of the race, and make thewoman, notwithstanding any disparity of fortune, be subject to the lawsof marriage, of their own making; that it was my misfortune to be awoman, but I was resolved it should not be made worse by the sex; and,seeing liberty seemed to be the men's property, I would be a man-woman,for, as I was born free, I would die so.
Sir Robert smiled, and told me I talked a kind of Amazonian language;that he found few women of my mind, or that, if they were, they wantedresolution to go on with it; that, notwithstanding all my notions, whichhe could not but say had once some weight in them, yet he understood Ihad broke in upon them, and had been married. I answered, I had so; buthe did not hear me say that I had any encouragement from what was pastto make a second venture; that I was got well out of the toil, and if Icame in again I should have nobody to blame but myself.
Sir Robert laughed heartily at me, but gave over offering any morearguments, only told me he had pointed me out for some of the bestmerchants in London, but since I forbade him he would give me nodisturbance of that kind. He applauded my way of managing my money, andtold me I should soon be monstrous rich; but he neither knew ormistrusted that, with all this wealth, I was yet a whore, and was notaverse to adding to my estate at the farther expense of my virtue.
But to go on with my story as to my way of living. I found, as above,that my living as I did would not answer; that it only brought thefortune-hunters and bites about me, as I have said before, to make aprey of me and my money; and, in short, I was harassed with lovers,beaux, and fops of quality, in abundance, but it would not do. I aimedat other things, and was possessed with so vain an opinion of my ownbeauty, that nothing less than the king himself was in my eye. And thisvanity was raised by some words let fall by a person I conversed with,who was, perhaps, likely enough to have brought such a thing to pass,had it been sooner; but that game began to be pretty well over atcourt. However, the having mentioned such a thing, it seems a littletoo publicly, it brought abundance of people about me, upon a wickedaccount too.
And now I began to act in a new sphere. The court was exceedingly gayand fine, though fuller of men than of women, the queen not affecting tobe very much in public. On the other hand, it is no slander upon thecourtiers to say, they were as wicked as anybody in reason could desirethem. The king had several mistresses, who were prodigious fine, andthere was a glorious show on that side indeed. If the sovereign gavehimself a loose, it could not be expected the rest of the court shouldbe all saints; so far was it from that, though I would not make it worsethan it was, that a woman that had anything agreeable in her appearancecould never want followers.
I soon found myself thronged with admirers, and I received visits fromsome persons of very great figure, who always introduced themselves bythe help of an old lady or two who were now become my intimates; and oneof them, I understood afterwards, was set to work on purpose to get intomy favour, in order to introduce what followed.
The conversation we had was generally courtly, but civil. At length somegentlemen proposed to play, and made what they called a party. This, itseems, was a contrivance of one of my female hangers-on, for, as Isaid, I had two of them, who thought this was the way to introducepeople as often as she pleased; and so indeed it was. They played highand stayed late, but begged my pardon, only asked leave to make anappointment for the next night. I was as gay and as well pleased as anyof them, and one night told one of the gentlemen, my Lord ----, thatseeing they were doing me the honour of diverting themselves at myapartment, and desired to be there sometimes, I did not keep agaming-table, but I would give them a little ball the next day if theypleased, which they accepted very willingly.
Accordingly, in the evening the gentlemen began to come, where I letthem see that I understood very well what such things meant. I had alarge dining-room in my apartments, with five other rooms on the samefloor, all which I made drawing-rooms for the occasion, having all thebeds taken down for the day. In three of these I had tables placed,covered with wine and sweetmeats, the fourth had a green table for play,and the fifth was my own room, where I sat, and where I received all thecompany that came to pay their compliments to me. I was dressed, you maybe sure, to all the advantage possible, and had all the jewels on that Iwas mistress of. My Lord ----, to whom I had made the invitation, sent mea set of fine music from the playhouse, and the ladies danced, and webegan to be very merry, when about eleven o'clock I had notice given methat there were some gentlemen coming in masquerade. I seemed a littlesurprised, and began to apprehend some disturbance, when my Lord ----perceiving it, spoke to me to be easy, for that there was a party of theguards at the door which should be ready to prevent any rudeness; andanother gentleman gave me a hint as if the king was among the masks. Icoloured as red as blood itself could make a face look, and expressed agreat surprise; however, there was no going back, so I kept my stationin my drawing-room, but with the folding-doors wide open.
A while after the masks came in, and began with a dance _a la comique_,performing wonderfully indeed. While they were dancing I withdrew, andleft a lady to answer for me that I would return immediately. In lessthan half-an-hour I returned, dressed in the habit of a Turkishprincess; the habit I got at Leghorn, when my foreign prince bought me aTurkish slave, as I have said. The Maltese man-of-war had, it seems,taken a Turkish vessel going from Constantinople to Alexandria, in whichwere some ladies bound for Grand Cairo in Egypt; and as the ladies weremade slaves, so their fine clothes were thus exposed; and with thisTurkish slave I bought the rich clothes too. The dress wasextraordinary fine indeed; I had bought it as a curiosity, having neverseen the like. The robe was a fine Persian or India damask, the groundwhite, and the flowers blue and gold, and the train held five yards. Thedress under it was a vest of the same, embroidered with gold, and setwith some pearl in the work and some turquoise stones. To the vest was agirdle five or six inches wide, after the Turkish mode; and on both endswhere it joined, or hooked, was set with diamonds for eight incheseither way, only they were not true diamonds, but nobody knew that butmyself.
The turban, or head-dress, had a pinnacle on the top, but not above fiveinches, with a piece of loose sarcenet hanging from it; and on thefront, just over the forehead, was a good jewel which I had added to it.
This habit, as above, cost me about sixty pistoles in Italy, but costmuch more in the country from whence it came; and little did I thinkwhen I bought it that I should put it to such a use as this, though Ihad dressed myself in it many times by the help of my little Turk, andafterwards between Amy and I, only to see how I looked in it. I had senther up before to get it ready, and when I came up I had nothing to dobut slip it on, and was down in my drawing-room in a little more than aquarter of an hour. When I came there the room was full of company; butI ordered the folding-doors to be shut for a minute or two till I hadreceived the compliments of the ladies that were in the room, and hadgiven them a full view of my dress.
But my Lord ----, who happened to be in the room, slipped out at anotherdoor, and brought back with him one of the masks, a tall, well-shapedperson, but who had no name, being all masked; nor would it have beenallowed to ask any person's name on such an occasion. The person spokein French to me, that it was the finest dress he had ever seen, andasked me if he should have the honour to dance with me. I bowed, asgiving my consent, but said, as I had been a Mahometan, I could notdance after the manner of this country; I supposed their music
would notplay _a la Moresque_. He answered merrily. I had a Christian's face, andhe'd venture it that I could dance like a Christian; adding that so muchbeauty could not be Mahometan. Immediately the folding-doors were flungopen, and he led me into the room. The company were under the greatestsurprise imaginable; the very music stopped awhile to gaze, for thedress was indeed exceedingly surprising, perfectly new, very agreeable,and wonderful rich.
The gentleman, whoever he was, for I never knew, led me only _acourant_, and then asked me if I had a mind to dance an antic--that isto say, whether I would dance the antic as they had danced inmasquerade, or anything by myself. I told him anything else rather, ifhe pleased; so we danced only two French dances, and he led me to thedrawing-room door, when he retired to the rest of the masks. When heleft me at the drawing-room door I did not go in, as he thought I wouldhave done, but turned about and showed myself to the whole room, andcalling my woman to me, gave