tyhiaai, orhead-dress, varied a little from that I had before, as it stood higher,and had some jewels about the rising part, which made it look like aturban crowned.
I had no mask, neither did I paint, and yet I had the day of all theladies that appeared at the ball, I mean of those that appeared withfaces on. As for those masked, nothing could be said of them, no doubtthere might be many finer than I was; it must be confessed that thehabit was infinitely advantageous to me, and everybody looked at me witha kind of pleasure, which gave me great advantage too.
After I had danced with that noble person, I did not offer to dance bymyself, as I had before; but they all called out "Roxana" again; and twoof the gentlemen came into the drawing-room to entreat me to give themthe Turkish dance, which I yielded to readily, so I came out and dancedjust as at first.
While I was dancing, I perceived five persons standing all together, andamong them only one with his hat on. It was an immediate hint to me whoit was, and had at first almost put me into some disorder; but I wenton, received the applause of the house, as before, and retired into myown room. When I was there, the five gentlemen came across the room tomy side, and, coming in, followed by a throng of great persons, theperson with his hat on said, "Madam Roxana, you perform to admiration."I was prepared, and offered to kneel to kiss his hand, but he declinedit, and saluted me, and so, passing back again through the great room,went away.
I do not say here who this was, but I say I came afterwards to knowsomething more plainly. I would have withdrawn, and disrobed, beingsomewhat too thin in that dress, unlaced and open-breasted, as if I hadbeen in my shift; but it could not be, and I was obliged to danceafterwards with six or eight gentlemen most, if not all of them, of thefirst rank; and I was told afterwards that one of them was the Duke ofM[onmou]th.
About two or three o'clock in the morning the company began to decrease;the number of women especially dropped away home, some and some at atime; and the gentlemen retired downstairs, where they unmasked and wentto play.
Amy waited at the room where they played, sat up all night to attendthem, and in the morning when they broke up they swept the box into herlap, when she counted out to me sixty-two guineas and a half; and theother servants got very well too. Amy came to me when they were allgone; "Law, madam," says Amy, with a long gaping cry, "what shall I dowith all this money?" And indeed the poor creature was half mad withjoy.
I was now in my element. I was as much talked of as anybody coulddesire, and I did not doubt but something or other would come of it; butthe report of my being so rich rather was a balk to my view thananything else; for the gentlemen that would perhaps have beentroublesome enough otherwise, seemed to be kept off, for Roxana was toohigh for them.
There is a scene which came in here which I must cover from human eyesor ears. For three years and about a month Roxana lived retired, havingbeen obliged to make an excursion in a manner, and with a person whichduty and private vows obliges her not to reveal, at least not yet.
At the end of this time I appeared again; but, I must add, that as I hadin this time of retreat made hay, &c., so I did not come abroad againwith the same lustre, or shine with so much advantage as before. For assome people had got at least a suspicion of where I had been, and whohad had me all the while, it began to be public that Roxana was, inshort, a mere Roxana, neither better nor worse, and not that woman ofhonour and virtue that was at first supposed.
You are now to suppose me about seven years come to town, and that I hadnot only suffered the old revenue, which I hinted was managed by SirRobert Clayton, to grow, as was mentioned before, but I had laid up anincredible wealth, the time considered; and had I yet had the leastthought of reforming, I had all the opportunity to do it with advantagethat ever woman had. For the common vice of all whores, I mean money,was out of the question, nay, even avarice itself seemed to be glutted;for, including what I had saved in reserving the interest of L14,000,which, as above, I had left to grow, and including some very goodpresents I had made to me in mere compliment upon these shiningmasquerading meetings, which I held up for about two years, and what Imade of three years of the most glorious retreat, as I call it, thatever woman had, I had fully doubled my first substance, and had nearL5000 in money which I kept at home, besides abundance of plate andjewels, which I had either given me or had bought to set myself out forpublic days.
In a word, I had now five-and-thirty thousand pounds estate; and as Ifound ways to live without wasting either principal or interest, I laidup L2000 every year at least out of the mere interest, adding it to theprincipal, and thus I went on.
After the end of what I call my retreat, and out of which I brought agreat deal of money, I appeared again, but I seemed like an old piece ofplate that had been hoarded up some years, and comes out tarnished anddiscoloured; so I came out blown, and looked like a cast-off mistress;nor, indeed, was I any better, though I was not at all impaired inbeauty except that I was a little fatter than I was formerly, and alwaysgranting that I was four years older.
However, I preserved the youth of my temper, was always bright, pleasantin company, and agreeable to everybody, or else everybody flattered me;and in this condition I came abroad to the world again. And though I wasnot so popular as before, and indeed did not seek it, because I knew itcould not be, yet I was far from being without company, and that of thegreatest quality (of subjects I mean), who frequently visited me, andsometimes we had meetings for mirth and play at my apartments, where Ifailed not to divert them in the most agreeable manner possible.
Nor could any of them make the least particular application to me, fromthe notion they had of my excessive wealth, which, as they thought,placed me above the meanness of a maintenance, and so left no room tocome easily about me.
But at last I was very handsomely attacked by a person of honour, and(which recommended him particularly to me) a person of a very greatestate. He made a long introduction to me upon the subject of my wealth."Ignorant creature!" said I to myself, considering him as a lord, "wasthere ever woman in the world that could stoop to the baseness of beinga whore, and was above taking the reward of her vice! No, no, dependupon it, if your lordship obtains anything of me, you must pay for it;and the notion of my being so rich serves only to make it cost you thedearer, seeing you cannot offer a small matter to a woman of L2000 ayear estate."
After he had harangued upon that subject a good while, and had assuredme he had no design upon me, that he did not come to make a prize of me,or to pick my pocket, which, by the way, I was in no fear of, for I tooktoo much care of my money to part with any of it that way, he thenturned his discourse to the subject of love, a point so ridiculous to mewithout the main thing, I mean the money, that I had no patience to hearhim make so long a story of it.
I received him civilly, and let him see I could bear to hear a wickedproposal without being affronted, and yet I was not to be brought intoit too easily. He visited me a long while, and, in short, courted me asclosely and assiduously as if he had been wooing me to matrimony. Hemade me several valuable presents, which I suffered myself to beprevailed with to accept, but not without great difficulty.
Gradually I suffered also his other importunities; and when he made aproposal of a compliment or appointment to me for a settlement, he saidthat though I was rich, yet there was not the less due from him toacknowledge the favours he received; and that if I was to be his Ishould not live at my own expense, cost what it would. I told him I wasfar from being extravagant, and yet I did not live at the expense ofless than L500 a year out of my own pocket; that, however, I was notcovetous of settled allowances, for I looked upon that as a kind ofgolden chain, something like matrimony; that though I knew how to betrue to a man of honour, as I knew his lordship to be, yet I had a kindof aversion to the bonds; and though I was not so rich as the worldtalked me up to be, yet I was not so poor as to bind myself to hardshipsfor a pension.
He told me he expected to make my life perfectly easy, and intended itso; that he knew of no bondage there could
be in a private engagementbetween us; that the bonds of honour he knew I would be tied by, andthink them no burthen; and for other obligations, he scorned to expectanything from me but what he knew as a woman of honour I could grant.Then as to maintenance, he told me he would soon show me that he valuedme infinitely above L500 a year, and upon this foot we began.
I seemed kinder to him after this discourse, and as time and privateconversation made us very intimate, we began to come nearer to the mainarticle, namely, the L500 a year. He offered that at first word, and toacknowledge it as an infinite favour to have it be accepted of; and I,that thought it was too much by all the money, suffered myself to bemastered, or prevailed with to yield, even on but a bare engagement uponparole.
When he had obtained his end that way, I told him my mind. "Now yousee, my lord," said I, "how weakly I have acted, namely, to yield to youwithout any capitulation, or anything secured to me but that which youmay