shedescribed the Turkish dress which thou hast here, with the head-tire andjewels, and when she named thy maid Amy too, and several othercircumstances concurring? I should certainly have believed it," saidshe, "if thou hadst not contradicted it; but as soon as I heard theespeak, I concluded it was otherwise." "That was very kind," said I, "andI am obliged to you for doing me so much justice; it is more, it seems,than that young talking creature does." "Nay," says the Quaker, "indeedshe does not do thee justice; for she as certainly believes it still asever she did." "Does she?" said I. "Ay," says the Quaker; "and I warrantthee she'll make thee another visit about it." "Will she?" said I;"then I believe I shall downright affront her." "No, thou shalt notaffront her," says she (full of her good-humour and temper), "I'll takethat part off thy hands, for I'll affront her for thee, and not let hersee thee." I thought that was a very kind offer, but was at a loss howshe would be able to do it; and the thought of seeing her there againhalf distracted me, not knowing what temper she would come in, much lesswhat manner to receive her in; but my fast friend and constantcomforter, the Quaker, said she perceived the girl was impertinent, andthat I had no inclination to converse with her, and she was resolved Ishould not be troubled with her. But I shall have occasion to say moreof this presently, for this girl went farther yet than I thought shehad.
It was now time, as I said before, to take measures with my husband, inorder to put off my voyage; so I fell into talk with him one morning ashe was dressing, and while I was in bed. I pretended I was very ill; andas I had but too easy a way to impose upon him, because he so absolutelybelieved everything I said, so I managed my discourse as that he shouldunderstand by it I was a-breeding, though I did not tell him so.
However, I brought it about so handsomely that, before he went out ofthe room, he came and sat down by my bedside, and began to talk veryseriously to me upon the subject of my being so every day ill, andthat, as he hoped I was with child, he would have me consider well ofit, whether I had not best alter my thoughts of the voyage to Holland;for that being sea-sick, and which was worse, if a storm should happen,might be very dangerous to me. And after saying abundance of the kindestthings that the kindest of husbands in the world could say, he concludedthat it was his request to me, that I would not think any more of goingtill after all should be over; but that I would, on the contrary,prepare to lie-in where I was, and where I knew, as well as he, I couldbe very well provided, and very well assisted.
This was just what I wanted, for I had, as you have heard, a thousandgood reasons why I should put off the voyage, especially with thatcreature in company; but I had a mind the putting it off should be athis motion, not my own; and he came into it of himself, just as I wouldhave had it. This gave me an opportunity to hang back a little, and toseem as if I was unwilling. I told him I could not abide to put him todifficulties and perplexities in his business; that now he had hired thegreat cabin in the ship, and, perhaps, paid some of the money, and, itmay be, taken freight for goods; and to make him break it all off againwould be a needless charge to him, or, perhaps, a damage to the captain.
As to that, he said, it was not to be named, and he would not allow itto be any consideration at all; that he could easily pacify the captainof the ship by telling him the reason of it, and that if he did makehim some satisfaction for the disappointment, it should not be much.
"But, my dear," says I, "you ha'n't heard me say I am with child,neither can I say so; and if it should not be so at last, then I shallhave made a fine piece of work of it indeed; besides," says I, "the twoladies, the captain's wife and her sister, they depend upon our goingover, and have made great preparations, and all in compliment to me;what must I say to them?"
"Well, my dear," says he, "if you should not be with child, though Ihope you are, yet there is no harm done; the staying three or fourmonths longer in England will be no damage to me, and we can go when weplease, when we are sure you are not with child, or, when it appearingthat you are with child, you shall be down and up again; and as for thecaptain's wife and sister, leave that part to me; I'll answer for itthere shall be no quarrel raised upon that subject. I'll make yourexcuse to them by the captain himself, so all will be well enough there,I'll warrant you."
This was as much as I could desire, and thus it rested for awhile. I hadindeed some anxious thoughts about this impertinent girl, but believedthat putting off the voyage would have put an end to it all, so I beganto be pretty easy; but I found myself mistaken, for I was brought to thepoint of destruction by her again, and that in the most unaccountablemanner imaginable.
My husband, as he and I had agreed, meeting the captain of the ship,took the freedom to tell him that he was afraid he must disappoint him,for that something had fallen out which had obliged him to alter hismeasures, and that his family could not be ready to go time enough forhim.
"I know the occasion, sir," says the captain; "I hear your lady has gota daughter more than she expected; I give you joy of it." "What do youmean by that?" says my spouse. "Nay, nothing," says the captain, "butwhat I hear the women tattle over the tea-table. I know nothing, butthat you don't go the voyage upon it, which I am sorry for; but you knowyour own affairs," added the captain, "that's no business of mine."
"Well, but," says my husband, "I must make you some satisfaction for thedisappointment," and so pulls out his money. "No, no," says the captain;and so they fell to straining their compliments one upon another; but,in short, my spouse gave him three or four guineas, and made him takeit. And so the first discourse went off again, and they had no more ofit.
But it did not go off so easily with me, for now, in a word, the cloudsbegan to thicken about me, and I had alarms on every side. My husbandtold me what the captain had said, but very happily took it that thecaptain had brought a tale by halves, and having heard it one way, hadtold it another; and that neither could he understand the captain,neither did the captain understand himself, so he contented himself totell me, he said, word for word, as the captain delivered it.
How I kept my husband from discovering my disorder you shall hearpresently; but let it suffice to say just now, that if my husband didnot understand the captain, nor the captain understand himself, yet Iunderstood them both very well; and, to tell the truth, it was a worseshock than ever I had yet. Invention supplied me, indeed, with a suddenmotion to avoid showing my surprise; for as my spouse and I was sittingby a little table near the fire, I reached out my hand, as if I hadintended to take a spoon which lay on the other side, and threw one ofthe candles off of the table; and then snatching it up, started up uponmy feet, and stooped to the lap of my gown and took it in my hand. "Oh!"says I, "my gown's spoiled; the candle has greased it prodigiously."This furnished me with an excuse to my spouse to break off the discoursefor the present, and call Amy down; and Amy not coming presently, I saidto him, "My dear, I must run upstairs and put it off, and let Amy cleanit a little." So my husband rose up too, and went into a closet where hekept his papers and books, and fetched a book out, and sat down byhimself to read.
Glad I was that I had got away, and up I run to Amy, who, as ithappened, was alone. "Oh, Amy!" says I, "we are all utterly undone." Andwith that I burst out a-crying, and could not speak a word for a greatwhile.
I cannot help saying that some very good reflections offered themselvesupon this head. It presently occurred, what a glorious testimony it isto the justice of Providence, and to the concern Providence has inguiding all the affairs of men (even the least as well as the greatest),that the most secret crimes are, by the most unforeseen accidents,brought to light and discovered.
Another reflection was, how just it is that sin and shame follow oneanother so constantly at the heels; that they are not like attendantsonly, but, like cause and consequence, necessarily connected one withanother; that the crime going before, the scandal is certain to follow;and that 'tis not in the power of human nature to conceal the first, oravoid the last.
"What shall I do, Amy?" said I, as soon as I could speak, "and what willbecome of me?" An
d then I cried again so vehemently that I could say nomore a great while. Amy was frighted almost out of her wits, but knewnothing what the matter was; but she begged to know, and persuaded me tocompose myself, and not cry so. "Why, madam, if my master should come upnow," says she, "he will see what a disorder you are in; he will knowyou have been crying, and then he will want to know the cause of it."With that I broke out again. "Oh, he knows it already, Amy," says I, "heknows all! 'Tis all discovered, and we are undone!" Amy wasthunderstruck now indeed. "Nay," says Amy, "if that be true, we areundone indeed; but that can