Because I’m not finished here…
Because I need more time with Kaden…
Because I can change the world…
I frown, not knowing where the last thought came from. It sprung to the front of my mind with vigor, inciting newfound passion in my body.
A small eternity later, Vince lifts his eyes. My stomach falls, bile rises, and my heart splinters in half as Vince shouts the verdict with a loud boom.
“Kill her!”
Chapter Four
Kade
A deafening bang cracked through the air, vibrating the wood underneath his feet, and a shrill squeal pierced his ears. His stomach cramped, tightening itself into a painful knot. His first reaction was to shoot forward and as he slid the palms of his hands over her body, he expected blood. Her body shook as if she was in pain, but there was no evidence to show him she was shot. Her shrill scream chilled his blood. The icy vessels cut through his veins and carved their way through his heart, making it twist in his chest. Without a thought, Soyer unchained her from the post and she fell forward. If he wasn’t already touching her, her weak legs would have dropped her to the floor. Crying, Nine’s slender fingers gripped the collar of his shirt and she pulled him hard against her before burying her face into his chest. Nine sobbed harder than he’d ever heard her sob and he wrapped his comforting arms around her breakable frame. Guilt swirled inside of him as his happiness began to manifest. A dead body laid in a crumpled heap beside him, but it was because of that dead body he now had everything he’d ever wanted.
Finally.
Nine was going to be okay. She was finally going to be his in every way Kade imagined.
The sound of chains being cut clicked over the sound of the excited crowed. Out of the corner of his eye, Kathryn’s frail, limp body collapsed to the floor. He looked at her and immediately regretted doing so as blood spilled from the hole in her head, staining the dark wood with crimson and black.
Without so much as a minute’s silence, Vince addressed the crowd. There was no hiding the bitter, disappointed tone in his voice. It was a sound Kade revelled in. He enjoyed taking Vince’s pleasure from him. Nine’s survival was the last thing Vince wanted, and though it warmed Kade to know that Vince had lost, it also worried him. Vince would not take his loss gracefully. He’d known him long enough to understand exactly how his twisted mind worked. From this point on Kade had to be aware of his baby brother at all times because he knew he’d want revenge.
“…and she condemned her own child into a life of servitude!” He swiped his hand over his mouth. “Our blood will not be confused for theirs. We are pure. We are classes above the scum and we always will be.” Vince turned his body toward us. “Welcome home, Anna.”
She kept her face tucked into Kade’s chest, her body still shaking with her cries. With a sneer, Vince whirled on his heel and stormed away. Kade inhaled and filled his lungs with ease. It was always easier to breathe when Vincent wasn’t around. The raucous sound of clapping filled the air and discussion swirled around them. Kade hated it. He hated that the same people who watched on in excitement as he seared his family crest into her flesh, and watched as Vince ordered an Unfortunate to violate her body, clapped and smiled at her as if she were family. It was unacceptable for them to even think they could look at someone like Nine—someone who didn’t agree with their way of life.
Unwrapping his arms from Nine, he pulled them back and shrugged out of his black jacket. Kade draped the warm fabric over her shoulders before pulling her arms free and wrapping them around his neck. She moved, burying her face just above his collarbone as he bent low, scooping her up into his arms. Repeatedly, he planted soft kisses on her head and weighed her in his arms as he moved off the stage. She was lighter than usual—even lighter than she was when he first held her.
People whispered, and pointed, and gossiped between themselves, but Kade didn’t care. All he cared about was getting Nine somewhere warm where he could take care of her and pretend the past few weeks never happened—even if it was only for a short while.
He moved quickly with the hopes of spending a small amount of time with her before the Moderators came to take her to her new home. He didn’t want her to leave, but she was a Milano now, and unless he married her, she would never reside in his house again.
Kade’s skin became damp as her tears soaked through the fabric of his shirt. He couldn’t wait to shower her, to make her feel somewhat human again. From there he could work to rebuild their relationship again. The irony wasn’t lost on Kade. Once upon a time he wanted money and power. He wanted to strike fear in everyone he met…now he found himself wanting companionship, comfort, and a love unlike any else. He thought his father beat those wants and needs out of him, but Nine breathed them into him again. He couldn’t bear to go back to living without them.
Not now, not ever.
∞
Her tears stopped flowing and her chest relaxed as he carried her up the stairs toward his bedroom. When they were inside, he locked the door and carried her to the bathroom. Kade didn’t say anything as he placed her, feet first, on the white tiles and she released his neck to pull the jacket tighter around her. He looked over his shoulder at her before bending down to turn on the tap. Dark circles surrounded swollen, red eyes. Her cheeks were hollow, her lips cracked. He wished he could heal her instantly, but it wasn’t possible. The healing she needed would take time, and although he knew he wasn’t the patient type, he had to be…for her.
Hot water splashed against the pristine porcelain as he reached to the other edge of the bath to retrieve the plug. When he plugged it in the drain, the water began to fill the tub. Steam rose, getting thicker and thicker the longer the tap ran. Afraid to burn her already sensitive skin, he adjusted the cold tap, until the billowing steam became faint.
Kade straightened his spine and turned to face Nine. She swallowed hard before dragging her stare to his. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel uncomfortable, and if he admitted it to himself, he was kind of hurt that she felt uncomfortable in front of him. He’d seen every inch of her. He’d admired her from every angle. Surely she had to know by now that he’d never put her in a situation she didn’t want to be in.
He cleared his throat and rubbed a nervous sweat off the back of his neck. Her lips parted as he stepped closer and he wondered if her heart pounded as hard as his did. Was her heart slamming into her ribs too? Was it threatening to shatter them into a million pieces, like his was?
He reached out to her.
“Do you mind?” he asked, happy that his voice sounded calm and in control.
But he was far from in control. If she studied him close enough, she’d notice the tremble in his hands and the tightness of his chest. She winced as she shook her head, pushing his jacket off of her shoulders and exposing the long expanse of her arms. There wasn’t a single inch of her that wasn’t tainted with dirt and God knows what else. Kade didn’t care. Her dirtiness was a symbol of the past—a past they overcame. Together. The sooner he washed it off, the sooner they could start over.
Kade stepped even closer. Strangely, he felt nervous as he pushed the straps of her stained, torn tunic off her shoulders, and when her gaze flickered to his lips for the briefest second, his stomach flipped and slammed into his heart. As her tunic fell to the floor, so did her stare. Out of respect for her, he shifted his own gaze to the gold-trimmed tiles behind her head. He wanted to look. He wanted to take her in his arms and show her just how much he missed her, but it wasn’t right. She needed to recover…and she needed to fall back in love with him again. He wouldn’t have it any other way.
Nine slipped by him, her arm brushing his as she lifted a leg and eased it into the bath. She hissed when the water hit her toes and her hand shot out, gripping Kade’s forearm. Turning, he took her hand in his and hesitated slightly before pressing the other hand on the small of her back. He swallowed hard as she tensed under the palm of his hand, but a short eternity later, she
glanced over her shoulder and said, “Thank you.”
Kade held on to her, helping her lower herself into the water, and even as the water began to soak through his shirt, he didn’t let her go until she gripped the edge of the bath, holding herself upright.
“I’ll send for Portia to wash you,” he stated as he removed his hands and straightened up.
Kade turned on his heel and stepped toward the door.
“Kaden…”
The sound of his full name stopped him in his tracks. There was a time when it used to provoke rage in him, made him think of things he tried to forget, but now he saw it as her thing. Something no one else could get away with. He turned to face her. In her hand, dripping over the edge of the bath and onto the dark, purple bath mat, she held a pale green sponge.
“Can you do it?” she asked, a compassionate, yet sad, smile slightly tugging at the corner of her lips. “If you don’t mind.”
He didn’t mind. Without a word, he stepped toward the bath and knelt down, taking the sponge firmly in his hand. It dripped soap and water onto his pants, but it didn’t matter.
She shut her eyes as he pressed the sponge to her skin. The bath continued to fill, its loud stream filling the room with the sound of gushing water.
He pressed the sponge to her back, and as he glided its surface along her skin, she closed her eyes. A soft sound escaped her and Kade hesitated, unsure if the noise was one of pain or pleasure.
“Keep going,” she whispered, her eyes remaining closed. “I’m okay.”
So he kept going. He circled the sponge over and over, washing away the dirt and filth. Circle by circle her milky white skin revealed itself and, twenty minutes later, the majority of her body was clean. Now that she was clean, Kade could see various abrasions and bruises. The sight of them sent tendrils of anger through his chest, igniting his blood, but for the moment, he had to swallow his possessiveness and his demand for answers.
Kade had turned the bath off ten minutes ago and he regretted it with every painfully deafening second that passed. As he slipped the sponge from her hip to her breast, he shifted his stare to the edge of the bath. Occasionally, the hot water lapped at the edges and spilled over, flooding the tiles beneath his knees and soaking through the fabric of his pants.
“Did you see her?” Nine whispered, forcing his eyes from the edge of the bath to her face.
Her glassy, violet stare settled on the murky bathwater.
“Yes,” he whispered, running the heavy, soapy sponge over her breast. “I saw her.”
“She’s dead?”
Kade shifted uncomfortably. Nine didn’t see the fatal damage done to Kathryn’s skull. If she did, she wouldn’t have asked.
He nodded his head. “She’s dead.”
Chapter Five
Nine
My mother died.
And I don’t feel the way I should. Tears don’t fall and rage doesn’t ignite. I feel numb, like an imposter in a body that doesn’t belong to me.
I swirl my hands around in the dirty water as Kade slides the soapless sponge along my collarbone. My eyelids burn and threaten to shut. I can feel the sweet bliss of sleep hovering over me, just waiting for the chance to crash down upon me at any second. Startling me, Kade drops the sponge in the water and pushes himself to his feet. I wait patiently, one long blink away from drowning, and, eventually, he returns with a white towel and a large men’s tee. I glance over my shoulder as he places the tee on the basin and approaches me with the large towel. A mass of butterflies unleash themselves in my belly. They’re stupid. Kade has seen me naked plenty of times and still the fluttery flies release themselves from their cocoons. As he walks, he exudes calm control and I wonder if he feels the way I do. I wonder if his heart is beating as hard as mine.
He extends a hand and I take it, pulling myself to my feet. I step over the side of the bath, dripping water onto his shoes. On the mat, I stand still as he pats the soft towel over my wet body.
“There’s a cut on your neck,” he points out, darkness thickening this tone. “What happened?”
He avoids my eyes as he wraps the towel around my shoulders and carefully uses the edge to dry underneath my breasts and down my flat tummy. I take the chance to swallow hard, unsure if I want to inform him of what happened. How do I tell him the moderator who watched over me in the cell made an advance on me without provoking his anger?
“It’s nothing.”
He slows his movements, finally locking his intimidating stare with mine. “It’s deeper than your other cuts.”
“It’s just a scratch.”
Kade snaps forward, his hand snaking around to the back of my head. The towel falls from my body as his fingers tighten in my hair and I shiver as cold air clings to my weak body. Fear blends with excitement and my exhausted mind refuses to fight back, seeing Kade’s arms as a comfortable place to sleep rather than a serious threat. I shiver again and this time it vibrates my entire body.
“You’re scared?”
“You have me by my hair.”
He places a ginger kiss just below my bottom lip, a gesture to ensure me he doesn’t mean any harm. Funny, given his grip. What’s even funnier is the fact I trust him. I trust him not to hurt me. Foolish? I guess only time will tell.
“Is this what I have to do? Revert to treating you like one of them just so you answer me truthfully?”
“Have you tried treating me with kindness? I bet that would yield the same result.”
His broad, powerful shoulders square and I expect…I don’t know what I expect. I sure as hell don’t expect him to press his damp lips to mine. He kisses me gently.
“You know I’d kill for you,” he mutters, resting his forehead against mine, his fingers unrelenting in my hair.
Nodding, I slide my head against his. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”
Enough people have died because of me. I can’t handle anymore. My conscience can’t bear the weight.
I almost topple backward as Kade releases me, but I manage to keep from falling on my ass by leaning forward. Have I always felt so light in his hands? I straighten my spine, wobbling slightly.
He grabs the grey tee from the counter and holds it out in front of me. Cold droplets still run down my body and drip from my hair, but if drip-drying gets me into bed quicker, I’ll take it.
As he opens the fabric, I slip my arms through the necessary holes and let it slide onto my body. The hemlines stop just short of my knees and elbows, and the remaining droplets of water on my body darken the fabric further. I feel ridiculous, but in the grand scheme of things it really doesn’t matter.
With one guiding hand on my shoulder, Kade escorts me out of the bathroom, across the main floor, and over to his bed. I glance around. It has only been a little while, but it feels like years since I was here last.
The deep reds…
The browns and golds…
The memories…
A red hot flush heats my cheeks as I spot a little glass and tube with a bulb and on the end filled with half-burned grass. I remember that night…the night Kade treated me as an equal. The night I truly fell in love with the man he is on the inside.
Kade pulls back the heavy feather-filled blanket on top of his bed and I climb in. Before he tucks me in, he rushes around the room and closes all the curtains, drowning the room in darkness. I sink lower on the bed, pulling the blankets up to my chin, and in the distance there’s the sound of a belt hitting the floor followed by the sound of two shoes as they’re kicked off. My eyes flutter shut only to shoot back open when a smooth, warm hand brushes over my cheek. His naked skin is soft against my cheek and, directly under my ear, the sound of his beating heart thrums loudly.
“I thought I’d never have you here again.” He clears his throat, but it doesn’t chase the thickness in his tone away. “I haven’t slept. I haven’t eaten…I was so damn scared.”
I slip even closer to him, hooking my leg around his.
“It’s over
now,” I mutter, my eyelids falling shut. “I’m here.”
Kade utters something under his breath, but it’s unintelligible as it filters through my tired ears. I nod my head and sleep swallows me.
∞
I jolt upright, unsure what startled me from my sleep. A bad dream, perhaps? I can’t remember. I gasp for air as my lungs squeeze and burn themselves from the inside out.
What’s going on?
“Nine?”
Heavy, calming hands grip my shoulders and pull me forward, pressing the side of my face against a warm chest.
“Just breathe.”
Kade’s quiet voice surrounds me, bringing immeasurable comfort. My stomach is tight, shooting panic throughout my chest. It’s dark, too dark for me to see where I am and what’s happening. I don’t like it. I don’t like it one bit.
“You’re in my room,” he says, stroking my hair with all of the care I so desperately need. “You’re safe.”
My skin is damp with sweat, wetting the roots of my hair.
I suck in a deep breath as heat flares over my body and the dark walls of the room close in. Then I shiver, suddenly feeling cold. What is happening?
Kaden pulls back the blanket and grips the hem of the shirt that has bunched around my hips in my sleep. He tugs it up, whipping it off my body and leaving me naked. I shiver as he leans over me, reaching for something off the bedside table. A lighter sparks to life and I flinch away from the bright light. Instantly, the brightness fades, replaced by a small, soft flame that flickers on the tip of a thin, white stick. With the stick in one hand and the glass tube with the bulb on the end in the other, he says. “This will help you sleep. Dreamless.”
I peer up at him, my chest heaving with deep, lung-burning breaths. The small flame illumines his wide shoulders and beautiful face. In his black irises the flame flickers and my heaving lessens enough to cease the burn.