I don’t know how long is I hid behind this commode, just I know that it is as long as I only cough once in a while just because of my throat stings and my tears dried away now. My winking now is normal and just my head aches a little.
Vorarin should be away from here. Just God grants him and hope that nothing bad happened to him. No sound is heard anymore. It is just the wind which visits its territory. Where are the rest of my group? What happened to them? What should I do? Where should I go?
I bring my insignia out of my pocket with a mild attempt and before turning it on, I bethink myself of Parkad’s words: we should keep our insignia off. But I have no choice now and the wireless range is short. Before entering the acceptance option, I take a look at the list of group personnel, maybe I find one of them. I look at the off options dispiritedly until the A-4 option becomes on in disbelief. Brasen or Saidan has turned his insignia, but it is soon to trust it. He is closing to me but his direction is not exactly toward me. I don’t know whether I keep my insignia on or not. It is possible someone else is using his insignia. Maybe I’d better go toward him, but it may be a trap. I keep my insignia off. I myself should go toward him.
I go toward the exit door cautiously. The sun now shines milder and the sands are flying in the air again. Before I exit, I look around carefully. No one is seen in this confine. I check Saidan’s or Brasen’s position step by step. He is steel closing to this confine. I should come in his way so that he wouldn’t be able to see me. He moves in an almost straight line, and just occasionally changes his way but then he returns to the same direction.
I take position in the first floor of a building which is almost in his way. He or someone else is approaching momentarily. He stops once in a while, reduces his speed until he reaches me. I try to see him through a hole on the wall, but it seems he passes through the buildings. I should find a better position. I take a step to get out of here but he changes his direction and comes exactly toward me. As far as it goes, if he passes by here, I will see him easily in the first floor. So I look for a hole in the floor and finally I find one. I lie on the floor and put my eye on the hole.
My heart beats faster with each step he takes. I feel as if I am in a road full of up and down, which with each down my heart quails. Now I can hear his footsteps. He walks slowly and stops near the entrance door. I just can see his legs. I try to change my position quietly to be able to see his face, but the size of the hole doesn’t allow me.
I wait for a while until he comes ahead. He is Saidan. I open my mouth to call him, but maybe he is a trap. I say so quietly that only he can hear:
Are you alone Saidan?
He begins to turn his head around and says in disbelief:
You’re here, Zairas? I’m alone. Nobody is with me. Don’t worry.
I’m here. Wait a minute, I’ll come down.
As I go down the stairs, he says:
Turning on my insignia, I hoped I could find someone.
I go forward and hug him. He embraces me warmly too.
What happened down there?
We enter a room to be in safe place:
We found the fire and we were getting out that suddenly the red group reached. If Parkad and Kidaton didn’t come, we would lose it. Then the blue group entered. Jonadin was shot. Kidaton and Parkad were taken captive, so I took the fire and got away through a secret way which went to the fourth floor till the red soldiers caught me and then suddenly someone…
Saidan shows his hand to stop me talking, then says:
I know the rest.
What did you do?
He shakes his head hopelessly and says:
According to three plans, we took position in three points to have all over the building in our control. Vorarin and I were monitoring the same confine you got away from. Brasen and Nabidak on one side, and Kidaton and Parkad on other side. No one and nothing couldn’t pass by us and enter that place.
He sits on an outworn furniture:
When the red group arrived and entered, we couldn’t do anything. They were too many. Nothing came to our mind till I don’t know what happened that the blue group reached. It was too odd. It seemed someone informed them. How can I tell you, you should were there and saw. It’s hard to explain. Parkad and kidaton entered there so that the blue group could see them. I was completely confused and couldn’t realize their purpose.
I say:
They show the entrance to the blue group deliberately to take advantage of their presence.
He confirms me and says anxiously:
I’ve never been in such situation. I don’t know what we should do. There’s no sign of Brasen and Nabidak. I don’t know that we must look for Parkad and Kidaton or… by the way, where’s Vorarin?
Suddenly I bethink myself of Vorarin and say with a low shout:
Ah, the fire!?
I turn on my insignia, but there is no sign of Vorarin. His insignia is off and there is no message on the display. While his face shows anxiety, Saidan says:
What’s the matter?
The fire is with Vorarin.
He says in disbelief:
What!? With him? For what?
When we got out of tear gas, I was too unwell, I couldn’t walk even one step. The soldiers were approaching us. I forced him to take the fire away from here, but now, there is no sign of him.
He puts his hand on his head and says groaning:
Ah...maybe he is caught! Damn! How it comes.
Where were you?
Samirana and I were fending off the soldiers you could get away.
What should we do now?
As he shakes his head, Saidan holds and shakes his hand in front me and says:
I don’t know anything at all. I’m completely confused. My brain is overloaded. I really don’t know what we should do!
He pauses, pounds his fist on the wall and says:
Parkad and Kidaton are caught, there’s no news of Brasen and Nabidak, Vorarin is lost, and we lost the fire too. Damn!
We, both, think about the events in silence. All of a sudden the insignia which is in my hand, vibrates. My eyes turn to it as fast as a flash. Saidan who also heard the sound of my insignia, comes toward me immediately and bends down on my insignia.
“You have a message”
This is an audio message from Vorarin. I play it:
“Zairas! I am caught and the red soldiers are taking me to their base now. Do whatever you can.”
The sound is too low so that I have to bring the insignia close to my ear to hear his voice. His voice clearly shows that he hardly has sent this message to me.
I quickly search for Vorarin’s location on the map and find him at a distance of three hundred and fifty meters from us. Saidan takes the insignia from me immediately and his eyes moves on the insignia looking for Vorarin’s situation.
I know where this place is.
Suddenly, Vorarin’s insignia becomes off, and we both stare at each other in disbelief. Saidan rubs his face:
We’ve to do something before we lost the fire.
Saying this, I feel I am in a labyrinth that I don’t know which way I should choose.
We should go and save Vorarin or we would lose the fire.
Although his word is completely reasonable, it is strange too.
Just two of us?
He leans on the wall and says:
I don’t know. I just know we should do this. How? I don’t know.
Where’re you Saidan?
Saidan reaches out his hand and takes his finger wireless and replies:
Samirana, where’re you?
What happened? Did you manage to get Zairas away?
Saidan replies him importunely and agitatedly:
Samirana, the knives are out, you should reach out.
Where’re you?
Come to the same trysting place. I and Zairas will be there within a few minutes. I’ll explain you everything.
Ok, I’ll come soon too.
He repla
ces his wireless and says:
Maybe Samiran helps us. This way we’re at least three. Let’s go.
He wends before me and shows the way.
Saidan?
What?
Any news of Mansidan?
Saidan tries to escape from looking directly to my eyes.
I couldn’t find him, is Raya unwell?
She needs Mansidan. You were supposed to find him.
For this I didn’t return. I couldn’t return and look her in the eyes.
Then he breathe a sigh hand lower his head.
I searched wherever I thought I could find any sign of Mansidan, but he wasn’t there. No one had any news of him.
But I have to find him. Raya is becoming completely paralyzed.
He looks at me with the spiritless eyes and says:
The thought of Raya agonizes me.
All was my fault. I should expiate.
I try not to look at his eyes. He condoles me:
That was an accident and Raya’s paralyze wasn’t any concerned with you.
Raya is the only one who is expiating.
He says with a serious and angry tone:
The only one who should expiate is Mansidan.
I keep quiet to pacify him. We walk for a short time. He says:
Who takes care of Raya?
Jalisa promised me that cares for her.
What about the shelter? Who’s managing there?
Palisin. When you and Brasen did go, I became alone.
He shakes his head and says:
I’m sorry. I couldn’t bear there, I felt a heavy despondence. Brasen couldn’t find Mansidan too. We were aimless, we didn’t know what to do. Brasen decided to join the saviors group.
I miss those days but I hope they would never repeat again.
What’s your decision?
That I find Mansidan anyhow. I need your help.
So why you joined the saviors?
Karisan said that I may find a clue here.
He closes his eyes and shakes his head:
Sorry, I don’t know anything. I even went to the “Hope” shelter.
Is it possible something bad have happened to him?
Wish we knew it at least. Maybe brasen knows something. He left the “Life” shelter before me to find Mansidan. I met Brasen in “Hope” shelter.
Where’s Brasen?
Saidan shakes his head and says:
I don’t know. All of our group vanished. Now the fire is more important.
But not for me!
He looks in wonder:
You have to do the thing you accepted to the end.
I just agreed to be in the saviors group. I don’t care about the fire! Karisan didn’t tell me anything about it.
The fire would destroy all the world. The fire is more important than everything, even than humans, even…than Raya.
I stop involuntary, flame with anger, my jaw trembles and my head grows hot:
You did forget the past so easily!
No, I didn’t. Always something happens out of our control.
Raya is dying and you think of something else!? What’s so important than human’s life?
All the people’s life.You’re not supposed to do this, but we should do it.
I shake my head, and while I take a deep breath say:
You do whatever you wish, but it doesn’t concern me. I just care for my friend who is dying there and all forgot her.
You’re wrong, Raya is one of the reasons that I’m here.
If it was important to you, you would have found him.
Saidan says loudly:
When the world is to be destroyed, who cares Raya’s paralyze?
I say shouting:
What’s this damned fire which a bunch of zeroes are looking for it? What’s that made you turn your back on everything?
I didn’t turn my back on no one. I’m just doing the right thing.
You left your friend alone, does it mean right thing?
I just came here to look after my friend, Raya.
I’m not in your group anymore!
I turn my back on Saidan and change my way to the first street that I meet. Saidan reaches me and says:
Damned! The war is coming. This time we all would die. The fire shouldn’t be in others’ hands. The fire means destruction.
He pushes my shoulders to stop me, and says:
Raya will recover.
While his breast goes up and down, he says:
Just give me a chance. You should help me. No one remained but you and me.
I say:
What help?
We should find the fire.
Why?
The fire means destruction. People would kill each other at a wink. The war which never ends. The world is not the thing you think. Don’t you see too many people are looking for it?
What’s the fire?
I don’t know, and don’t care to know. I just want Raya feels well.
How Raya would recover?
A smile appears on his lips:
Trust me.
We go on our way in silence until Saidan stops at the end of an alley and points at somewhere:
We should go there.
This is a common building and is similar to all of the buildings in this town. It has nothing special compare to the rest buildings and like everywhere, this is also ruined. Saidan enters the building ahead of me and goes toward the last room at the end of the corridor. There is an open trapdoor on the floor.
Saidan draws his gun and then, without turning his head to me and just with a hand sign have me to remain in my place and to be quiet. Then he approaches the edge of the trapdoor and checks inside. After that he says slowly and quietly:
Hey Samirana! Are you inside there?
After a while silence, a rather skirl voice says:
I haven’ any other place to go but here. You come late!?
Saidan takes an interrogative look at me and then goes down slowly. I also go down after him and then close the trapdoor. This place is lighted just with a candle and everything is in a black mist. Someone is standing by the candle whose face, in the lack of light, is not so visible at this distance. Beside her leg someone has fallen on the floor fainted. Saidan says:
What’s the matter? What’s going on here? What the hell the red soldier doing here?
Samirana pulls up two chairs and then says:
This cove was chasing me. You’re roundly surprised.
Is dead?
Not yet. I don’t know what I should do with him.
Saidan goes toward to one of the chairs, sits on it and says:
It didn’t go in the way we wished. Vorarin is caught and because of our bad chance, the fire is with him.
Samirana signs me with her hand to sit on the chair:
Why the fire is with Vorarin?
I welcome her offer and go toward the chair to be able to see her face.
Everything mixed up. Vorarin was constrained to transfer the fire but I don’t know what happened that he caught. You should helped him.
Finally I position somehow I can see her face under the light of candle. Her girly face is completely goes with her body. She has hidden her hair under a kerchief and tightened it with a knot behind her head. Her big and black eyes, while is in complete contrast with her small mouth, show her very beautiful. In comparison with other women, she is tall and her face is calm.
The only thing that makes me wonder are the small wounds on her face, but they give her face special attraction instead of make her ugly. She dressed in a rather thick and long shirt down to her knees and wore a long raincoat on. She seems to be younger than me.
She says indifferently:
That was enough.
Saidan looks at me in wonder and says:
You alone could hide Zairas.
Samirana goes toward a table which is in darkness and sits on it.
We had to backtrack. For this, first I got Zairas away from them then Vorarin
had to do his job well, but he didn’t.
You coped out too soon.
I said don’t engage me in this story.
But now you engaged.
I don’t want continue anymore.
Saidan gnash his teeth and says:
You must say this at first. Don’t think I’m fool.
Samirana comes down from the chair angrily and, while fisted her hands, says:
What’re you trying to prove?
Saidan rises from his chair too:
Whatever happens to you is because of your fault, you shouldn’t blame it on others.
You don’t know anything, so you’d better don’t talk about it. I didn’t cop out but I can’t go on.
Why don’t you can go on? Because you’re weak.
Yeah, I’m weak. I’m leaving now.
Yeah you’d better didn’t come here, you showed yourself, you’re a wretch.
Saidan turns his face to me and says:
Let’s go Zairas.
Saidan looks indifferently at Samiran who stares at me with the grudge and hatered. Then he goes toward the ladder and goes up. Samirana’s fisted hands suddenly open. Her tears washes all of the apparent disgust elements away from her face. I take some steps toward her involuntary. Her body shakes with her sobs and her hands tremble.
I owe you an excuse for you save my life. If you didn’t help me, I wouldn’t have any chance to compensate my fault.
Some failures can’t be redressed.
Fate gives all chance, it just depends to ourselves to use it or miss it.
Aside from fate, many things contribute to.
No one interferes but you. Maybe your work wouldn’t be valuable for anyone but it is important for yourself. The most important part is just this. You should be satisfied with what you do.
This’s not easy as you say.
I smile:
We determine whether it would be easy or not. Maybe the actions of all the people around us is just for notice our work.
I can’t hear any voice from her. She is sitting as before and doesn’t move. Her hands don’t tremble anymore and she is silent.
It’s all words.
Her voice still trills a little. I say:
I just so believe in my words that I’m here now and will do my decision.
She lifts his head and while looks at me, says:
Prove it.
It’s not the thing to prove by words, but should do it.
So how you try to prove something with words?
I didn’t talk with you at all and I never wanted to prove something with my words. The main reason is me who is standing in front of you now. I’m not the word.
Hey Zairas, what’re you waiting for then? Let’s go.
I return and go toward the ladder. Saidan is standing up there and looks at me with a sad and dull face. I go up the ladder and stand by him.
I didn’t want to talk with her that way, but I had no choice but that.
What’s her problem?
She sees the world differently. No time to explain it to you, we should go, I have to think.
So what about Samirana?
It’s her choice. We should act ourselves for the time being.
Saidan, gun in hand, wends that suddenly, before we get out, we hear a footstep on the ladder which echoes through the trench. Samirana gets out through the trapdoor and stands in front us. Her face is now dry. She, while looks at me, says:
I know where the red’s shelter is. I have a plan.
Chapter 25
Escape