2) How were the pyramids built?
They were built over a span of ten thousand years, because that’s how long it takes to find a reliable contractor.
3) How big is the universe?
It’s as big as an angel dancing on the head of a pin, provided that pin is two thousand trillion miles wide.
4) Are crop circles a hoax?
No. The actual crops are the hoax. They are created by bored, yet highly motivated, teenagers in rural areas who “plant” the artificial “crops” under the darkness of night.
5) Where did I leave my keys?
I’m sorry, you’re on your own with this one. I don’t have time to help you tear apart the house looking for them. Why, oh why, can’t you just put them in the same place every time?
But wait…there’s more!
The Extra Special Bonus Chapter:
Special Bonus Lottery Numbers
Guaranteed to Win
That’s right, these numbers, in combination with other numbers, can help you win the lottery. Next time you play the lottery, use one of the numbers below with other numbers you pick and you might have a winner!
1) 1 6) 6
2) 2 7) 7
3) 3 8) 8
4) 4 9) 9
5) 5 10) 0
Good luck!
I hope you have enjoyed this bonus chapter, because now it’s over. There is really nothing else to read in this book, except the Library of Congress information, but that’s in every book. It’s hard to say good-bye, but it’s time. Good-bye. Or “Adieu” or “Ciao.” Those are just some of the languages I know how to say good-bye in. I don’t have time for the others, as my book is now over.
But first, let’s review the bonus chapter. It’s a free chapter; people love deals; houses have a bonus room; and the universe is expanding (that wasn’t in the book, but it’s true and actually that is just one more bonus for you).
The ending of a book is like saying good-bye to a good friend or relative—that is, if you read the end. And this is the end. If you can’t stand the thought of it ending, maybe you could have somebody hide the book right now, before the end.
Or don’t read this last line, which would mean you didn’t read the end of this book.
*After mail-in rebate.
We hope you enjoyed reading this Simon & Schuster eBook.
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Ellen DeGeneres, The Funny Thing Is...
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