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  CHAPTER V.

  CARDINAL AND COUNT.

  Cardinal Plouernel was a man of sixty-five years of age, lean, lank andleathery of skin. Except for the difference in age, he was possessed ofthe identical type of face as his nephew. His long neck, bald head,large and crooked nose like the beak of a bird of prey, and wide-set,round and penetrating eyes, imparted to his physiognomy, if analyzed andthe high grade of intelligence that they denoted left out ofconsideration, a singular resemblance to that of a vulture.

  To sum up, the priest, if clad in his red robes of Prince of the Church,could not choose but present a fear-inspiring aspect. On a visit to hisnephew, he was clad simply in a long black coat, strictly buttoned up tohis throat.

  "Pardon, dear uncle," said the Count, smiling. "Not being aware of yourreturn to town, I did not expect this matitudinal call."

  The Cardinal was not the man to be astonished at a colonel of dragoonskeeping a mistress. He made answer in his brief manner:

  "I am pressed for time. Let us talk to the point. On my way from abroadI made a wide tour through France. We are on the verge of a revolution."

  "Indeed, uncle?" asked the colonel incredulously. "Do you reallybelieve--"

  "I believe a revolution is at hand."

  "But, uncle--"

  "Have you available funds about you? If not, I can help you out."

  "Funds--what for?"

  "To exchange into gold, or for good drafts upon London. The latter aremore convenient on a voyage."

  "What! A voyage, uncle? What voyage?"

  "The voyage that you are to make by keeping me company. We shall departthis evening."

  "Depart--this evening!"

  "Would you prefer to serve the Republic?"

  "The Republic!" exclaimed the Count of Plouernel. "What Republic?"

  "The one that will be proclaimed in Paris, within shortly, after thedownfall of Louis Philippe."

  "The downfall of Louis Philippe! The Republic in France--and withinshortly!"

  "Yes, the French Republic--one, and indivisible--proclaimed in ourinterest--provided we know how to wait--"

  And the Cardinal indulged in a singular smile as he inhaled a pinch ofsnuff.

  The Count contemplated him dumbfounded. He looked as if he had justdropped down from the clouds.

  "I see, my poor Gonthram, you must have been either blind or deaf," theCardinal proceeded, shrugging his shoulders. "Do you see nothing inthose revolutionary banquets that have succeeded one another throughoutthe principal cities of France during the last three months?"

  "Ha! Ha! Ha! uncle," answered the Count, laughing out aloud; "do youtake those bibbers of blue wine, those swallowers of veal--at twentysous a plate--to be capable of making a revolution?"

  "The simpletons--I can not blame them, so much the worse--the simpletonshave turned the heads of the bigger simpletons who listened to them.There is nothing, in and of itself, so stupid as gunpowder; is there?Yet that does not prevent it from exploding. Well, these banqueters haveplayed with gunpowder. The mine is about to explode, and it will blow upthe throne of the Orleans dynasty."

  "You are joking, uncle. There are fifty thousand soldiers in the city.If the mob but raise a finger it will be mowed down like grass.Everybody is so completely at ease regarding the state of Paris that,despite the seeming commotion of yesterday, the troops have not evenbeen furnished with passwords in the barracks."

  "Is that so? Well, so much the better!" put in the Cardinal, rubbing hishands. "If their government is seized with the vertigo, these Orleanswill quickly vacate their seats for the Republic, and our turn will comeall the sooner."

  At this point his Eminence was interrupted by two raps given at the doorof the salon that communicated with the boudoir. Promptly upon the rapsfollowed the following ditty, still to the tune of _La Rifla_, and sungby Pradeline in measured rhythm on the other side of the door:

  "To get out of this scrape-- I sorely need my cape, On this occa-si-on, Your bene-dic-ti-on. La rifla-fla-fla-fla, la rifla!"

  "Oh, uncle!" said the colonel in anger, "Pay no attention, I beg you, tothe insolence of that foolish little minx."

  And rising, the Count of Plouernel took from the sofa where they hadlain since the previous evening the cape and hat of the brazen girl,rang the bell quickly, and, throwing the articles at the valet whoanswered the summons, said to him:

  "Deliver these traps to the hussy, and have her leave the houseinstantly."

  And then, returning to his Eminence, who had remained impassive, and wasat the moment in the act of opening his snuff-box, he continued:

  "I assure you, uncle, that I am ashamed. But droll creatures like thatrespect nothing."

  "She has very well shaped limbs," mused the Cardinal, taking his snuff;"she is quite comely, the droll creature. Nevertheless, in the FifteenthCentury, we would have ordered her roasted alive like a little Jewess,in reward for such a joke. But patience. Oh, my friend, never--neverbefore were our chances so favorable!"

  "Our chances favorable if the Orleans dynasty is chased away and theRepublic is proclaimed?"

  The Cardinal again shrugged his shoulders and proceeded to explain:

  "Either one thing or the other will happen--either the Republic of thebare-footed mob will be anarchy, the dictatorship, emigration, pillage,paper money, the guillotine, and war with all Europe--and then the thingwill last six months at the longest, and Henry V will be brought backtriumphantly by the Holy Alliance; or, on the contrary, their Republicwill be benign, stupid, legal and moderate with universal suffrage forits foundation--"

  "And, if so, uncle?"

  "If so, it will last longer, but we shall lose nothing by waiting.Wielding our influence as large landed proprietors, and operatingthrough the lower clergy upon the peasants, we shall become masters atthe hustings, obtain the majority in the Chamber, and hamper the passageof every measure that might, I will not say cause the Republic to beloved, but even cause such a revolutionary state of things to seemtolerable. We shall sow the seeds of mistrust and fear in all minds.Soon, with its credit destroyed, with universal ruin, with disaster onall sides, a chorus of curses will rise against the infamous Republicthat will then die peaceably after a trial that will for all timedisgust the people with it. At that psychologic moment we shall stepforward. The hungering people, the bourgeois, frightened out of theirsenses, will throw themselves at our feet, praying to us with claspedhands for Henry V, the savior of France. Finally, the hour forstipulating conditions will arrive. These will be ours: Royalty, atleast such as it existed before 1789, that is, no more bourgeoisinsolent and clamorous Chamber, holding the reins of government as muchas the King, seeing it decides upon appropriations and taxes--anignominious state of things; an end of the present mongrel system--_all_or _nothing_, and we want _all_, to wit, an absolute King resting uponan omnipotent clergy; a strong aristocracy and a merciless army; ahundred thousand, two hundred thousand foreign troops, if needed; theHoly Alliance will lend them to us. Misery will be so frightful, fear sointense, the general lassitude such, that our conditions will beaccepted as soon as imposed. Thereupon we shall take prompt and terriblemeasures--the only effective ones in such emergencies. Our measures willbe these: First of all, provost courts; reinstitution of the lawspronouncing sacrilege and _lese majeste_ capital crimes, and making themretroactive, back to 1830; execution to follow verdict withintwenty-four hours, in order to smother in their own poison allrevolutionists, all people tainted with impiousness; it will be an eraof terror--another St. Bartholomew, if necessary. France will not dieunder the knife; on the contrary, she is suffering of plethora, sheneeds a bleeding from time to time.[8] The second measure will be toassign public instruction to the Society of Jesus--it alone is able toemasculate the human species. The third measure will be to break thesheaf of centralization; in it lay the strength of the Revolution; oureffort must be, on the contrary, to isolate the provinces as much aspossible from the small centers, where, unmolested, we shall hold swaythrough
the lower clergy; or, by virtue of our large holdings, restrain,prevent, if at all possible, the intercommunication of one section ofthe country with another. It is not helpful to us for people to drawtogether and meet each other with frequency. With the view of dividingand keeping them divided, we shall assiduously rekindle the rivalries,jealousies, and where needed, the old provincial hatreds. To that end anoccasional little douse of civil war will be a helpful expedient. Itbreeds and nurses the germs of implacable animosity."

  The Cardinal stopped a moment to take another pinch of snuff, and thenconcluded with these words:

  "People who are divided by hatred never conspire."

  The merciless logic of the priest repelled the Count of Plouernel.Despite his own fatuity and caste prejudices, he rather leaned towardsmodern thought. No doubt he would have preferred a reign of "legitimateKings." But he did not stop to think that he who wants the end must notobject to the means, and that, in order to be lasting in the eyes of itspartisans, a complete and absolute restoration could not possibly takeplace and maintain itself except by the frightful means that theCardinal had just laid bare with complacent assurance. The colonelreplied with a smile:

  "But, uncle, think of it! In these days of ours the idea of isolatingthe population is chimerical. The thing is impossible! What about thestrategic highways! The railroads!"

  "The railroads?" echoed the Cardinal angrily. "A devil's invention, goodonly to cause the revolutionary fever to circulate from one end ofEurope to the other! For that very reason our Holy Father wants norailroads in his states, and right he is. It is incredible that themonarchs of the Holy Alliance could have allowed themselves to yield tosuch diabolical innovations! They may have to pay dear therefor! Whatdid our forefathers do, at the time of the conquest, with a view tosubjugate and keep the yoke riveted to the neck of this perverse Gallicrace--our vassals by birth and by kind, that has so often risen inrebellion against us? Our ancestors staked them within their separatedomains, forbidding them to step outside under penalty of death. Thuschained to the glebe, thus isolated and brutified, the breed is moreeasily kept under control--that must be the goal we should aim atreturning to."

  "But I repeat--what about the railroads? You would not tear up thehighways and railroads, would you, uncle?"

  "Why not? Did not the Franks, our ancestors, in pursuit of an unerringpolicy, tear up the highways, the magnificent roads of communicationthat they found in Gaul, and which those pagans of Romans hadconstructed? Would it be so difficult a task to hurl against therailroads the mass of brutes whom that infernal invention threw out oftheir means of earning a livelihood? Anathema--anathema against thoseproud monuments of haughty Satan! By the blood of my race! If he is notcurbed in his sacrilegious career, man will yet end--may Godforefend!--by changing this valley of tears into a terrestrial paradise,wholly oblivious of the fact that original sin condemns him to perpetualsuffering!"

  "Zounds! Dear uncle, not so fast!" interjected the colonel. "I am notinclined to carry out my destiny with quite such scrupulous accuracy."

  "You big baby!" replied the Cardinal impatiently, taking a fresh pinchof snuff. "Do you not understand that, in order that the large majorityof the race of Adam suffer and be meritoriously conscious of itssuffering, it is requisite that there be always in evidence a neat smallnumber of happy people in the world?"

  "Oh, I see! As a contrast; is that it, dear uncle?"

  "Necessarily. The depth of the valley is not realized but for itscontrast with the mountain top. But enough of philosophy. As you know, Ihave an accurate eye, quick and certain. The situation is such as I havedescribed it to you. I repeat--do as I have done. Realize all yournegotiable effects in gold, or in good drafts upon London. Send in yourresignation this minute, and let us depart to-morrow at the very latest.Such is the blindness of those people that they apprehend nothing. Yousaid so yourself. There is hardly any military precaution taken. Youcan, accordingly, without in any way wounding your military honor, quityour regiment this instant."

  "Impossible, my dear uncle--that would be an act of cowardice. If theRepublic is to be established, the thing will not be done without thefiring of some guns. I wish to do my part--I wish to be quits.Politeness for politeness, with good round discharges of muskets! Mydragoons will want nothing better than a chance to charge upon thecanaille."

  "Then you propose to defend the throne of the wretches of Orleans!"exclaimed the Cardinal with a loud outburst of sardonic laughter.

  "Dear uncle, you know very well I did not wheel in line in support ofthe Orleans dynasty. No more than you, do I love them. I simply joinedthe army, because I have a military turn of mind. The army has but oneopinion--discipline. In short, if your foresight is correct--and yourtrained experience inclines me to the belief that you are notmistaken--then a battle will be fought this very day. Under suchcircumstances I would be a despicable wretch to hand in my resignationon the eve of an encounter."

  "Then you are determined to run the risk of being riddled with bulletsor brained by the mob on a barricade--in the interest of the Orleansdynasty?"

  "I am a soldier--I am determined to fulfil the duties of my profession."

  "But, you devil of a stubborn block! Suppose you are killed, our housewould then fall from the lance to the distaff."

  "I promised you I would marry at forty--"

  "But until then--think of it--these street fights are disgraceful--todie in the mud of the gutters, killed by a lot of beggars!"

  "Before it came to that I would have treated myself to the sport ofhewing several of them down with my saber," coolly replied the colonel."In that event it will not be difficult for you to find some sturdyPlouernel bastard of my own making--whom you will then adopt, uncle. Hewill perpetuate my name. Bastards often have brought good luck to greathouses."

  "Triple fool! To play with your life in that manner! And that at thevery moment when the future smiles upon us as it never smiled before! Atthe moment when, after having been beaten, kicked and cuffed by thedescendants of the men who for fourteen centuries were our vassals andserfs, we are about to wipe out at a single stroke these last fiftyyears of shame! At the moment when, instructed by experience, and aidedby the course of events, we are about to resume our power and becomeeven mightier than we were in 1789! Go to--I pity you! You are right,races degenerate!" exclaimed the intractable old man, rising. "I woulddespair of our cause if all our people were like you."

  The valet, stepping in again after rapping at the door, said to theCount of Plouernel:

  "Monsieur Count, the linendraper of St. Denis Street has arrived. He iswaiting in the ante-chamber."

  "Take him to the salon of the portraits."

  The valet left; the colonel said to the Cardinal, whom he saw angrilypicking up his hat and moving towards the door:

  "For God's sake, uncle, do not go away angry, in that way--"

  "I am not going away angry; I am going away ashamed."

  "Come, dear uncle, you will think better of me."

  "Will you, yes or no, depart with me for England?"

  "Impossible, uncle."

  "Then go to the devil!" was the rather uncanonical shout with which theCardinal furiously took his leave, slamming the door behind him.