Chapter 13
Lost
I
“I am sorry I am late. I was meditating, there are things moving in the darkness of the universe, tides are shifting. The present is in motion, and the future becomes easier, and yet harder to predict at the same time,” Sir said. She knew that Sir could see into the connections of the universe. He was a natural who had spent thousands of years focusing his thoughts, and abilities, but he had only hinted at the possibilities that would come to Henry with practice. Amica thought Sir had tried to avoid much of this subject, because he feared Henry would not live a long enough life to achieve this level of focus. His last statement had made no sense to her, how could something be easy, and hard at the same time. Sir walk slowly to the area they had used for yoga, he took a seat on the floor in a legs crossed meditative pose. He motioned for them to sit as well.
“Sir, I am confused. How can it be both?” Amica asked.
“The future can not be seen, there are to many factors influencing the flowing of time. By looking at the connections that influenced the past, and the events that are taking place at the moment, the path the future is likely to take can be discerned,” Sir said.
“How far can you see?” Henry asked.
“With time, and focus I can often seen the events of the next 10 years, but it is unreliable. The universe is a large place Henry; a small shift may have rippling effects, for example your existence, and training. Humans’ lives are short, and erratic making them hard to see, and predict in the scope of the universe. They leave their planet so seldom, that many people tend to over look them. I admit, I had not predicted you, a human of your age, coming from a family with no connection to the gates what so ever wandering into a garden accidentally. It is an event very difficult to see, which will have rippling effects through out the universe. I have seen shadows moving in the darkness. Things are in motion as we speak that will without a doubt cause other events to be set in motion, but I cannot predict how those events will unfold, there are too many pieces still hidden from me. We must change our plans,” Sir said. He began walking them through their yoga routine.
Amica was still unclear about what he had seen, but she got the distinct impression that he was not ready to talk about it. She went through her yoga exercises, stretching her muscles, and relaxing her mind. He spoke about a change in plans, but she was still unsure what that change was. She knew that she would have to work hard, and pay close attention to Sir. Whatever the future held she felt confident his teaching would get her though it. Amica saw the first change in the routine when they finished yoga, and skipped the physical training portion of the evening.
“I think I have impressed upon you the importance of developing your body. It is very important that you maintain the physical vessel; the strain put on your body through multiple openings through out the course of a day can be very taxing. If you are not in the proper shape your body may fail you after a couple openings. Tonight however I need you both to be as fresh as possible, we will skip physical training tonight,” Sir said. Amica was excited by the idea that she would not have to run on that rotten treadmill, but when she looked at Henry he looked upset, and worried.
“Henry are you okay,” Amica asked. As soon as the words were out of her mouth his whole face shifted, it was like watching someone put on a mask; every trace of what she had seen vanished leaving behind a beaming smile. It happened so fast she was almost not sure she had seen it, but the smile never reached his eyes. That warmth that Amica always felt flowed from his eyes was not present.
“I’m fine, why do you ask?” Henry said. Amica felt sad inside, this answer was almost worse that the blank look in his eyes. She knew at the start of last week she had real feelings for Henry, but she had been unclear what they meant, or how to handle them. During training things had gotten even more confusing. Things had gone great at first, him pushing her to succeed, her pushing him, and then they had the fight over his bruises. Since then everything had been different, he was hiding things from her. Henry had always seemed to wear his emotions right out on his sleeve, when they were together she could always tell what he was feeling by looking at him. Watching him hide his emotions from her made her sad. She didn’t know what the future held for them, but their relationship dynamic had shifted, and not in a good way.
“Tonight you will both build, and open a golden gate,” Sir said. Amica was busy thinking about what she had just seen on Henry’s face, and had almost missed what Sir had said; in fact it took her several seconds to comprehend it. It took her so long to filter his words through her head that Sir, and Henry were already standing looking down at her.
“Amica are you okay?” Henry asked offering her a hand to help her up. Her first instinct was to hide her thoughts from him, the way he had hid his, but she was really scared. She had always heard that there was a good chance that she would not be able to open the golden gates or if she could she would only really be able to open them after practice, and work. Now Sir was asking her to open one with out ever having opened a gate, she just didn’t feel ready. She had promised to do what he asked, and to work as hard as she could, but she was scared.
“I’m scared, I don’t want to fail,” she said. She took Henry’s hand, and he helped her up. She heard Sirs low confidant voice over her shoulder.
“Failure is as important as success, but I believe you must overcome your fears to become confidant in your abilities. Our time here is becoming limited,” Sir said.
The gate they entered from every day was at the end of a series of gates that ran the length of the wall in descending order, Sir led them to another area of the training room they had glimpsed, but not yet used directly across the room from those gates. In front of the wall were two piles of materials that Amica recognized as gate components.
“Please begin, when you are finished constructing the gate I will examine it, and tell you if it is put together correctly, before you can open it,” Sir said.
Amica walked over to her pile, and began sorting the components into the order she would need them. She had constructed the sub components, assembled a gate, and repaired them many times in simulations over the last several days, and the components looked like the ones in her simulation.
First she located the incoming power wire. Then went to locate the power generator, and the gate frequency generator. The gate would draw power from the building, but a transformer in the power generator would step up the power level so it could be split into individual strands, it would also power the gate in case of an emergency loss of power while the gate was open. The gate frequency generator was used to modulate the power in the gate to the proper level for the gate opening. Each item was roughly the size of a shoebox; each black box had a removable panel on either of the short ends. She used a screwdriver, and removed all four panels. She attached the incoming power to the power generator, and attached wires from the power generator to the gate frequency generator. Once the power, and frequency generator were properly connected to each other and the power source, she located the gate cable.
She started by examining the end of the golden cable. It was roughly the size of the base her thumb and was made of a 17 different wires, and roughly 30 feet in length. At the core were 12 golden strands, each strand individually coated with a clear insulating coating to prevent frequency bleeding. Around the outside of the 12 individual strands were wrapped another five golden wires. This cable would form the backbone of her gate. Each gate had the same number of wires at its central core; the gate frequency generator would independently modulate the individually wrapped wires creating the gate address. The number of wires that wrapped the central core created the real difference between the gates; the more wires around the outside the greater the power level of the gate. The cable she held was wrapped in five golden strands for a golden, level five gate. She hung the wire on the wall creating a large rectangle, which would form the doorway of the open
ing when powered up.
She took the cable in her hand and unwound the outer layer of the cable from both ends leaving two feet at either end of the core exposed. She attached the power wires into the power couplings in the power generator. Next she attached one of the core wires to the port 1A in the end of the gate frequency generator. Then she located the control panel, which was a flat black crystal display like the ones on the glass pedestals at the Milky Way Terminal. She touched the screen, and it came to life. She set it to look for the connection signal coming from the gate frequency generator, and power generator, once it was connected; she confirmed that the serial numbers listed on the actual components matched her display screen. She did not want to accidentally connect her control panel to Henry’s gate. She set the gate frequency generator to force a test signal through port 1A. She used an amp probe on the other end of the cable to locate the live wire and attached it to port 1B. She performed this step with the remaining 11 cables until all 24 ports were filled with the appropriate wires.
She stood up with her control panel, and calibrated the gate by running a test frequency through each individual wire checking for signal loss, and cross fade. When she was sure that the frequency that left port A was the same frequency that was receive by port B she went to Sir, and told him her gate was ready to be inspected, and brought to full power. He inspected her gate, and found only one error in her construction. She had forgotten to mount a handle to open the gate within the cables, outline. She rectified this mistake; then proceeded to put the maintenance panels in place, and prepared to power up the gate.
Amica took a deep breath, if she was in the terminal she would use her tablet to look up the coordinates of the gate she was going to open, but Sir had given her a piece of paper that she had put in her pocket. She typed in the series of numbers that appeared on the piece of paper.
“Aligning gate,” appeared with a progress bar. When she finished typing the last number. Henry being a natural could focus on the coordinates, and lay hands on the gate to direct its alignment with out help. But she was not a natural, and she would need a lot more training before she could even attempt such a feat. She walked over to wall setting the gate control crystal down on top of the power generator so she could have both hands free, when a gate was completely installed in a permanent location the control crystal was usually mounted on a stand so the keeper did not have to worry about it’s safety. She placed her hands on the wall in the center of the opening she had mounted to the wall. In a permanent gate like the one she would use in the terminal the cable was recessed into the wall making it more attractive, but this was an aesthetic issue.
It was warm; she could feel the energy building just below the surface. She could feel light beginning to bleed out her vision, it reminded her of when she would look at the sun for a moment, and then she could see the sun everywhere she looked for a few minutes after. She closed her eyes just before the light could encompass her vision. It was an illusion, the light she was seeing was a projection in her mind, and could not damage her eyes. Once her eyes were closed she could see the golden orb floating in the darkness, the face of it glowed with its own light. She had dreamed her whole life of standing here at this moment. Of looking into the darkness, and seeing the orb. On the white face she saw the 12 numbers that composed the gate address. She had practiced focusing her mind to see the truth of the opening as sir called it. That was the ability to look at the address, and instinctually feel if the numbers where in the correct order. This was something that came naturally to Henry, but would take her practice to master. She concentrated on the numbers, but she had a hard time freeing a part of her mind from what she was doing. Sir had told her that with practice she would learn to spit her focus, allowing a part of her mind to relax, and become guided by her instincts, but after the loss of her father she had problems letting go, allowing a piece of her mind to float freely did not come naturally to her. After a few moments, she opened her eyes, and looked down at the piece of paper in her hand. She had spent a lot of time practicing with gate coordinates over the last couple of years, it was hard to try to get the mind to swallow that many numbers. She worked on breaking them down into their sub components, the first six numbers designated the galaxy, the next three designated the terminal, and the last three numbers specified the gate. She verified that the numbers on her paper were in fact the numbers she had seen on the face of the orb.
Over the past week during yoga practice, they had worked on visualizing her thoughts. It took practice, and concentration visualizing ideas in her thoughts without physically moving her hands. This was going to be her first attempt, with an actual gate. With her eyes closed she pictured her hands reaching out into the darkness, and touching the face of the orb. She saw a beam of golden light shoot out the back of the orb. Amica could feel the beam of light traveling through the black. It was exhilarating; she could feel the thrum of the energy pounding in her chest, as the light shot through the sub strata of the universe, passing through the bonds, and physics that held the universe together. She could feel the impact of the beam strike the gate she was seeking on the other side of the room, and reflect off in a new direction. She wondered where the beam went after it reflected off the opposing gate. She tried to focus her thoughts on what she was doing, but found herself being distracted by the thrum she felt in her chest.
She turned the orb a little to the left, to fine-tune the link. Henry said that he could feel the reflection of the beam moving in the darkness, the way he described made it seem like seeing a flashlight moving in the black, and as she turned the ball she felt for what he had describe. She could not see, or feel anything clearly, she knew that her mind was becoming unfocused. She could feel the energy she was channeling in her chest, in the beginning it felt like a thrumming vibration, but it was centered over her breast bone, as she fumbled in the darkness to make the connection, the thrum was beginning to grow. It had started as a circle the size of her fist, but it was spreading through out her chest, it had nearly doubled in size.
She took a moment, and ran through some of the exercise she had been taught to clear her mind, the size of the thrumming in her chest did not shrink, but she could think more clearly. She looked out into the darkness with her mind, and found what she thought was the beam, but it was very faint. She turned the orb, and she felt the beam faintly move, and she was certain. She continued to turn the orb this way, and that adjusting the reflection till she felt it swing towards her. The reflection of the beam finally struck her chest. The energy she was channeling doubled immediately.
She could feel the energy running its course. It traveled up her left arm, across her heart, down her right arm into the gate; there it would shoot across the universe striking the other gate bouncing back at her. The cycle was repeating, and repeating. With her thoughts she followed the path the energy traveled through the darkness. With every cycle around there was more, and more energy collecting in her body. It was beautiful, she could feel the currents of energy that drove the rotation of galaxies, and the planets, forever causing the expansion of the universe. The universe was pure, uncaring about her fears, or worries. It was not angry, it was not sad, it was not happy, it just was. The universe was darkness, devoid of anything, and yet filled with everything. She could feel her mind slipping into the dark, longing for a place where she was at peace, away from the loss of her children, and her father, and finally Henry. She had pushed him, and pushed him, and now he was gone as well.
She thought of Henry lost to her, and her focus slipped even more. Her body felt as if it was on fire, burned bright by the light of the energy she held, the thrum was a thrum no longer it was a full pounding. She could felt it in every muscle of her body. They hurt as if stabbed with a million pinpricks. In response, her mind drifted farther into the darkness of the universe, escaping the pain her body felt. She welcomed the idea of it, and then something changed. She heard a voice speak to her in the d
arkness.
“Amica, can you here me?” the voice said. She was startled she recognized the voice, but she could not place it. She was not sure she wanted to answer, which was good, because she could not seem to make her voice work.
“Amica, it’s Henry. Can you hear me? Please come back to me,” the voce said. The voice had claimed to be Henry, but her mind was still very fuzzy, she was tired, drifting in the darkness was so relaxing, but the voice called to her over, and over.
“Amica, please don’t leave me,” the voice said. This was not fair. He had already left her, and she felt angry at his words. She fought the lulling pull of the darkness, and expressed her anger.
“You left me first,” she said.
“I’m right here, talking to you,” the voice said calmly.
“Not you, the real Henry, I pushed him away,” she replied to the voice.
“You didn’t push me away, I’m right here. You need to focus, come towards the sound of my voice before it is to late,” the voice said. She tried to focus her thoughts, but the more she tried to focus the more her body burned.
“It hurts, can’t I stay here in the dark?” she asked.
“No, focus on the pain Amica, come back to me,” the voice of Henry said. She did as he asked, and tried to force her mind back towards the place where she remembered the pinpricks on her skin.
“It hurts so much,” she cried.
“I know sweetie, but it is the only way,” Henry said. His voice was much clearer to her now, she moved towards his voice. Her muscles burned with in her, and she felt her body vibrating.
“It’s time, I need you to focus; we need to open the gate,” Henry said. Amica tried desperately to connect her mind to her body; She felt the energy level slowly leaking from her, as if someone was drawing it away. She began to understand what had been happening, her mind was slipping away, being consumed by the gate, but Henry had come after her. As the energy level continued to decrease she felt his hands on her arms, his chest pressed against her back, she focused on the feel of his body wrapped around her, grounding her, and moving her hands.
“It’s time, I need you to open you eyes, and pull,” he said. She opened her eyes, and the gate blazed like the sun after the darkness it hurt her eyes to look at it, she wanted to put her hands up to block the light, but Henry’s hands held them in place.
“Pull,” he said. She pulled. She felt the gate on the other side come towards her, becoming one with the gate in her hands, and the gate pulled open. Her field of vision was beginning to narrow, and once again the words were beginning to feel like they were coming from the end of a tunnel, and it was getting farther, and farther away. Suddenly, Henry’s face was right in front of her, there was a stinging feeling in her face, she realized she still held the door handle; her knuckles were turning white from the effort. She peeled her fingers from the gate, and reach up to touch her check, her skin felt hot. Henry frowned, and she realized he had slapped her hard across her face. She wanted to ask him why, but he spoke first.
“Just a few minutes more, then you can rest. We need to close the gate, and release the connection. She was so tired, but recognized the truth of Henry’s word. She felt his arms around her helping her, and holding her up. Together they pushed the gate closed.
“On the count of three, we will release the gate together,” Henry spoke into her ear.
“One…Two…Three,” Henry said, and Amica closed her eyes, she could see the beam of light leaving the back of the orb, she focused all her will power on extinguishing the beam, and it was gone. The connection was broken, and her body sagged, held up only by the arms that wrapped around her. She felt her feet leave the floor, and the feeling she was floating. The last thing she remembered was Henry’s face looking down on her, and then darkness.
II
She opened her eyes, and found Henry looking down at her. She smiled. She was very pleased to see him smile back at her. She could see Sir, looking down at her over his shoulder.
“You lost focus,” Sir said. “You must learn focus, or it will all be for nothing. I will teach you no more this evening. Henry, you did very well, I think you are ready to open the gate taking you home tonight. I must meditate on this incident, and see what damage has been caused by tonight activities. I will open the gate promptly tomorrow,” Sir said. He turned, and walked away. There was something going on here besides just a failed opening, but her brain was still fuzzy, and she couldn’t make sense of it.
“I thought I had lost you,“ Henry said.
“How long have I been out?” she asked. Her throat was very dry. When she looked at him, she saw that he looked like he had been put through the ringer.
“A couple of hours, long enough for Sir to make me open all of the gates in the room twice,” he said. That certainly explained the exhausted look on his face.
“I am ashamed,” he said in a rush of words. She was not sure what he was talking about.
“I don’t understand Henry, what’re we talking about?” she asked.
“You asked me why I don’t tell my parents, or someone at school. I wanted to tell you, but I was embarrassed by my fear, and shame. Then after the fight, when I got in the car I thought you didn’t like me anymore, because I was so weak. I thought that maybe if I just avoided the subject you would like me again,” he said. She admired his courage, he sat there baring his soul to her, and he thought she would think him weak. She had never in her life, had the courage to be as open as he was at this moment.
“Henry, I only try to help make things better, I don’t think you are weak,” she said. He had been very honest with her, she felt she owed him at least as much honesty. “You are the first friend I have had in centuries, I was just so afraid that I had pushed you away, that I was too scared to talk about it again either,” she said. She tried to stand, and saw black specks floating in her vision, and felt a sharp pain stab across her brain. She put her hands to her temple; it felt like her head was going to crack open. “I wish we had been brave enough to talk earlier, remind me never to lose focus again, this headache is very unpleasant,” Amica said smiling weakly.
She got to her feet slowly. When she was on her feet Henry gave her a big hug, and then led her to the gateway home.