But you saw it.
And that was the reason I hadn't protested, hadn't questioned. I'd watched Annie Shift.
If I really wanted to, I could find an explanation, however lame--I was overtired from sleepless nights, I'd hallucinated, I'd been drugged. Only I hadn't considered any of that. I'd accepted it, maybe even more easily than I accepted the news that my mother was white, not because I'd rather be a skin-walker than Caucasian, but because this felt like the truth.
All my life I'd felt like I didn't quite know who I was. I'd chalked that up to the adoption, not knowing my family, not knowing my tribe. But that wasn't the missing piece. This was.
I could stand in front of the mirror and mentally refuse to believe a person could change into an animal, but in my heart I knew it was true. One day, like Annie, I'd be running through the forest on all fours, smelling, seeing, hearing, and feeling the world as a big cat.
One day? No. If Rafe was right about the dreams and the muscle cramps, that day was coming fast. The thought of it made my stomach seize. In relief, excitement, or downright terror? Probably a little of each.
When would it happen? How would it happen? What would it be like? Could I prepare?
And the rest--the part of "becoming like Annie"--that I was trying so hard not to think about. The part where I lost my human reason and began a true descent into animal. How long after the first Shift would that start? How much time would I have to find answers and make sure that didn't happen to me?
No, how much time would we have. Rafe and I. As much as it hurt to be around him, I needed him. We wanted the same answers, and he had a lot more of them already than I did.
Maybe I had screwed up with Rafe. What mattered was that he was the guy with the facts and, I hoped, a plan.
When I got downstairs the next morning, Daniel was already up, sitting with Dad, looking over his shoulder as he monitored the fires.
"So what's the latest word from the flaming frontier?" I asked as I poured myself an orange juice.
"It's not flaming enough to cancel school," Dad said.
"Damn." I glanced at the map on the computer. "I'm guessing those red spots are fire. Looks safe for now, but what about the animals?"
"I'm driving them to the refuge this morning," Mom said. "They'll keep them until the fire watch ends."
I gave her a hug. "Thank you."
She handed me her teacup for a refill. I took it and ignored Daniel's outstretched empty coffee mug.
He arched his brows. "You want a ride to school or not?"
"If you don't drive me in, Dad will have to. There are dangerous predators on the loose."
Daniel sighed and got up to fill his mug.
"You okay?" he whispered as he stood beside me at the counter.
I nodded and turned to Dad. "Speaking of predators, any luck finding Marv?"
Dad shook his head. "Right now, the focus is on this fire."
Good. I hoped any cougar hunts were postponed for a while. Otherwise, with Annie roaming the woods in cat form, we could have another problem to deal with.
Daniel and I took care of the animals and got them ready for transport. When we arrived at school, I left Daniel with Corey and Brendan, and went off in search of Rafe. I checked the smoking pit first. Hayley was there. She glanced at me, and I nodded, then moved on, rounding the school to start down the path he'd take to get here.
"Looking for Rafe?" a voice said behind me.
It was Hayley. Her expression was guarded, and I thought of what Rafe had said. She was right--I'd never gotten past that incident with the math homework. I hadn't consciously held it against her, but it had changed the way I saw her. I'd backed off, and maybe others had, too. I should have noticed, and I hadn't.
That didn't justify all the crappy things she'd done to me and said about me since, but it did make me look at her a little differently as she came down the path.
"I heard you guys broke up," she said.
"We did."
"Did you decide he wasn't good enough for you?"
If I had, I wouldn't be looking for him, would I? I didn't say that. Didn't have the energy to fight back. Just shook my head and kept walking.
"Maya?"
I glanced over.
"What happened to your lip?" There wasn't any nasty snap in Hayley's voice now.
"It wasn't Rafe," I said.
I started to turn away again.
"He likes you."
I looked at her.
She shrugged. "I'm just saying, if you didn't want to break up, he'll come back. He really likes you." A sardonic twist of a smile. "Everyone does."
She walked away. I wanted to go after her, but I didn't know what to say.
I carried on along the path again and didn't get far before someone else hailed me. When I saw Sam jogging along, I tensed and glanced around. We were still within sight of the school. Safe enough.
She stopped in front of me. For a minute, she just stared at my lip. Then she pulled her gaze up to my eyes and said, "I'm sorry."
I remembered what Rafe said and what Mom said, and I resisted the urge to say "whatever" and walk away. But I wasn't going to say "It's okay," either, because it wasn't.
"Why'd you hit me?" I said.
"I didn't mean to. I just--" Her gaze shunted to the side. "I get mad sometimes, okay? Like Daniel does, only he can control it and I--I can't."
"Like with Rafe's sister?"
Her cheeks colored. "I wouldn't have hit her. I could tell she was, you know, slow. But I was mad at Rafe for not taking a hint, and when she laughed at me for wanting him to stay away, I blew up. I stopped, though."
"You didn't with me."
"I wanted those pages."
"Why? Because they said your parents had been murdered? How come that's a secret?"
I waited for her to explode. How come that's a secret? Would I want everyone knowing my parents had been murdered? Would I want them asking questions? Looking at me funny? Wondering what exactly I'd seen?
She didn't say any of that, just scowled and started to walk away.
"What else was in those pages?" I called.
She stopped, her shoulders tensing.
"There was more, wasn't there? Something you didn't want me to see."
She turned, then, and gave me this look that made me shiver. A figure appeared around the bend, bearing down fast.
Sam opened her mouth, as if to say something, then wheeled to walk away--and smacked into Daniel.
"D-Daniel."
"You going to take a swing at me, too, Sam?"
Sam stammered denials and Daniel told her off, but I wasn't listening. Last night, I'd started to remember something Serena said about Sam before she died. Now seeing her with Daniel, it came back.
Serena had been at my place, holding down a rabbit while I changed its dressing.
"I had a run-in with Sam last night."
"Sam?"
"Yeah. I was at the Blender with Nicole, when you and Daniel were taking this little guy to Dr. Hajek. There were a couple of summer boys there, college guys hiking the island. They came over and flirted with us. Nicole got shy, like she always does, and I was trying to show her how it's done."
"Uh-huh."
She laughed. "Okay, I was kind of flirting back. But you know me. I don't mean anything by it. Even Daniel only gives me hell for teasing the poor guys. Anyway, I'm flirting and Sam stops in to grab a burger. Acts like she doesn't know us, of course. I talk to the guys a bit more, then Nic and I leave."
"Okay."
"I cut through the woods to Daniel's place. I'm by the ridge, and who pops up? Sam. She tears a strip out of me for flirting with the summer boys. Says it's disrespectful to Daniel. I tell her to mind her own freaking business. She gets really pissed. Calls me a blond twit who doesn't appreciate what she's got. She said someone needed to teach me a lesson. I laughed, which was the wrong thing to do, because she gave me this look, this really ... scary look."
Serena tri
ed to laugh, but it came out shaky. "I know that sounds dumb, but it spooked me. Then Daniel got there. He heard us fighting. I told him what she was mad about--that I'd been flirting with summer boys. He just shrugged and said, 'So?' but Sam gives me that look again and stomps off."
Was Rafe right that Sam had a crush on Daniel? I'd never thought so, but maybe she just didn't express her feelings the way most girls did. Sam didn't do anything the way most girls did.
I remembered my dream, about Serena being pulled under. She had gone down so fast she did seem to be dragged. And I had felt something grab my leg.
How angry had Sam been with Serena? How jealous over Daniel? Jealous enough to "teach her a lesson" that had gone very, very wrong?
But how would she do it? Slip into the water at the wooded edge, then swim under it and hold Serena down long enough to drown her?
That was crazy. No one could hold her breath longer than Serena.
Daniel brushed past Sam like she wasn't there and came to me. He leaned down to whisper, "She do anything?"
I shook my head as the bell rang. We started back toward school.
"You need to stay away from her," Daniel murmured when Sam was out of earshot.
"I know."
THIRTY-THREE
RAFE DIDN'T SHOW UP that morning. With every passing minute the questions weighed heavier, until by the time the break bell went, I was so distracted, I didn't hear it, just sat there, pretending to listen to a lesson long over.
Fingers tentatively touched my shoulder. I looked up to see Nicole. The classroom was almost empty. Daniel stood at the door, as if he'd just realized I hadn't left my seat. Nicole mouthed, "I've got it," and waved him on.
"Daydreaming, I guess." I stood.
She cleared her throat. "I know I'm not the person you want to talk to about this. About Rafe. That's why you didn't call last night. I'm not Serena."
"No, that's not--"
"It is. I get that. You guys were best friends. Except, well, there are things you can't talk to Daniel about, right? He didn't like Rafe, so he's happy you guys broke up. If you're not happy about it, you can't talk to him."
She was right.
"You like Rafe." She led me from the classroom, voice lowered as we walked into the crowded hall. "I don't need to be Serena to see that. I've watched you with other guys, summer boys. That's just for fun. This is different."
Right again.
"Is it because of the party?" she asked. "You think maybe he did drug you? Because I'm sure it was Hayley. If you want, we could try to prove it--break into her place, look for the dope."
I stared at Nicole.
Her cheeks colored. "What can I say--I'm a closet rebel. But if it's not the party thing, is it because he came on strong when you were drugged? I could help with that, too. You guys arrange a date and I'll be close by, so there's someone you can call if things get out of hand."
"You'll be my secret bodyguard?" I grinned at her. "You really are a rebel."
She flushed more. "Hardly. I just think you guys are good for each other."
I looked at Nicole. I'd misjudged her. Just like I'd misjudged Sam. And maybe Hayley. And Rafe? I didn't even want to think about that one.
I'd always considered myself such a good judge of character. The last few days, it seemed I was finding out I didn't know anyone except Daniel.
"Do you want to come over this weekend?" I asked. "Mom's taking the animals to the refuge in Victoria today, and I plan to go on the weekend to see the fledglings get their first flying lesson."
Her eyes lit up. "Seriously? I'd love that. I've always wanted to go there."
"I'd have invited you before, but I didn't think you were much of an animal person."
"I am. Smaller animals anyway. You can keep your cougars. But, well, animals were your thing, yours and Serena's. And yours and Daniel's. I didn't want to intrude."
"We'll go together, just you and me."
She smiled and we headed off to our next class.
When we broke for lunch, I caught up with Daniel outside the classroom. Corey and Brendan took off, saying they'd meet up with us at our table.
"What's wrong?" Daniel said.
"Noth--"
"If those guys can tell something's wrong, then it is, Maya."
I led him to a corner and waved to Nicole that I'd catch up with her later.
Daniel and I stepped out the side door into the empty yard. I caught the faint smell of smoke on the wind and turned, frowning. I was about to mention it but decided not to. If I hinted the fires were getting closer, he'd never let me do what I was about to ask.
"I need a huge favor," I said. "And you know I wouldn't ask this if it wasn't important."
"Okay."
"Can I borrow your truck?"
He lifted one brow. "That's a huge favor? You can borrow it anytime. You drive just fine."
"I need it to go see Rafe. Now. Over lunch."
"Oh." His gaze shuttered.
"No, I'm not asking for your truck because I want to get back together with him. I'm worried about him and his sister being out there with the fire threat. They should be in town."
He relaxed. "Good idea."
"Under normal circumstances, I'd run there, and try to make it back by the end of lunch period but--"
"Not when we might have a man-killing cat roaming around. Come on. I'll drive you."
He started toward the lot.
I jogged up beside him. "You don't have to do that. Go eat your lunch."
"I've got some energy bars in the glove box."
I jostled him. "What, you don't trust me to drive your baby? Go on. I can handle it."
"It's not that. She's been acting up lately, remember? I don't want you stranded and walking back through the forest."
Getting a lift from Daniel was going to make it a whole lot tougher to ask Rafe about skin-walkers. But I'd have to work with it. The important thing was checking on him and Annie.
It took nearly as long to drive there as it did to walk. We had to travel out of town on the main road, then find the rutted lane Mr. Skylark had used for his truck. It was clear enough for Daniel's pickup to make it through, but it wasn't a trip he'd want to do daily.
When we got to the cabin, it was dark inside. I told myself they were just careful about using the generator--fuel costs money. Daniel parked twenty feet away and said he'd wait there for me, maybe get out and stretch his legs.
I knocked, then opened the door and my breath hitched. It wasn't just empty, it was empty. The crates that stored their clothes and food now held only an item or two.
I knew Rafe might leave when I couldn't provide answers, but I never thought he'd just ... go. As upset and hurt as I'd been, I'd held onto the scrap of hope that he really did care about me, that he wasn't just trying to make nice to secure my help. Wrong again. The moment he realized I didn't have any information that would help his sister, he'd left.
I was backing out of the cabin when I noticed a piece of folded paper on the floor weighted down by a rock. I nudged the rock with my foot and saw my name.
When I picked up the note, something fell out, and dropped beside the rock. I ignored it and took the note to the window to read it.
Left this AM. We'll come back when I have answers.
There was another line, so scratched out I couldn't decipher a word. I stared at the note for a second, then remembered the fallen object. I squinted at the floor but saw only the pale rock. I patted around until I found something, then rose, lifting it to the light.
It was the rawhide band with the cat's-eye stone, Rafe's bracelet, the one his mother gave him.
I clutched it in my hand. My breath hitched again, heart pounding.
Don't read anything into it, Maya. You know you can't read anything into it.
I opened the note again. Just those two lines. Cool and emotionless. Left. Will return.
I held the page up to the window, trying to see what he'd crossed out.
&nbs
p; Okay, now you're just being pathetic. Get a grip, Maya. The guy is gone.
I looked down at the bracelet in my hand.
"No sign of them?" Daniel said from the doorway.
I jumped and stuffed the bracelet into my pocket.
"Sorry. I know I said I'd stay outside, but I didn't hear you talking to anyone." He stepped inside. "I don't want to freak you out, Maya. I'm sure they're just out in the woods, but there are signs of a cougar all over the place. I know your dad's busy with this fire threat. We need to get him over here, though, just in case--"
"They're fine." I lifted the note. "They left."
"Left?"
"Back to the States or whatever."
He didn't look convinced. "I still think we should call your dad. There are prints, scat, clawed trees. Even fur. A cougar has been here and been here a lot, and that's--"
"Small tracks?" I said. "Like a young female?"
"I guess so ..."
I need to tell you something.
I wanted to say that. God, I wanted to say it. Here was the perfect segue. But the words wouldn't come. Instead I said, "Okay, we should go, then. We need to get back to school."
"Actually, I thought maybe we'd head into Nanaimo," he said as we walked out. "There's something I need to look up. And, apparently, I can't do it here."
He reached into his pocket and handed me a piece of paper. "I found that in the Braun cottage. I was going to show it to you, but then with Sam turning up and the stuff about my mom ... I decided it could wait. I wanted to find out what it meant before I brought it to you. I tried this morning, but my laptop wouldn't let me search for it."
"What?"
"The nanny software kicked in. No idea why."
I unfolded the sheet to find four words written on it. The top one we'd already seen. Benandanti.
"That's the word--" I began.
"From that book. So Mina didn't just pick a random page for her note after all. But the word below it, isn't that the one the old woman used? Navajo for skin-walker?"
It was. So Mina was here investigating me? Was that what this meant? So why send us to that book about the benandanti?
I need to tell you something, Daniel.
I clutched the note and took a deep breath as we walked out of the cabin. "There's something I--"
As we stepped out, the smell hit me like a slap on the face, knocking every other thought out of my head.
Daniel stopped in his tracks. "Is that ...?"
"Fire," I said.
He swore and prodded me toward the truck.
I dug in my heels and shook my head. "It's just someone burning trash. The forest fires wouldn't have reached this far this fast. My dad would have called me."