‘I’m not that spiritual.’
‘You think so?’ Ookami stood up. ‘Take time to get to know yourself, Darquiel. Anyway, I’m sure you’re hungry after your night’s exertions. Let’s see to breakfast.’
‘OK.’ Darq stood up. ‘It helps to talk with you. Thank you.’
Ookami inclined his head. ‘It’s my job.’
As they prepared the food, Ookami said, ‘How long would you like to stay here?’
Darquiel responded without thinking. ‘I want to leave today.’
‘Oh? Is that wise? I think perhaps you should revisit the thing that worries you, banish it. Make a friend of Aruhani, Darquiel. I’m told he makes a superb benefactor. You could do worse than to honor him.’
‘It’s not just that. The har I was with likes me too much. I have said goodbye to him, and in my mind it would be cruel to see him again, because I can give him nothing but brief union. Also, it would be equally cruel to take aruna with somehar else in this town.’
‘I see,’ Ookami said. ‘In that case, we’ll move on. There will be plenty of other small towns where it’s safe for us to linger.’
I would feel safe with you, Darq thought, and deliberately took little care to shield it. But if Ookami picked up on it, he gave no sign.
Chapter Twenty
Years later, Darquiel would look back upon the months he spent traveling with Ookami as some of the best of his life. They wandered through a mythic landscape, heading east, pausing at small settlements occasionally, but generally keeping to themselves, self-sufficient. Ookami was an easy companion, and Darq never got irritated with him. His guardian shared his knowledge generously, if not his body. As time went on, Darq became more and more curious about the Grissecon Ookami was preparing for, although he sensed it would be importunate to ask about it.
After leaving Nemodilkii, Darq had received no further communication from the mysterious entity that had hijacked his aruna with Darzu. As time went on, he became increasingly convinced he’d hallucinated the whole thing. With some trepidation, he initiated aruna with other hara he met and nothing untoward occurred, although none of it was as explosive and overwhelming as that time with Darzu had been. Without mentioning the more bizarre aspects of that occasion, Darq discussed it with Ookami as they rode along an empty road. Fields spread away to either side, and beyond them were mountain forests.
‘It was like the experience with Darzu was my first,’ Darq said, ‘even though Thiede had taken me through feybraiha. I wonder if I’ll ever experience anything like that again.’
Ookami nodded thoughtfully. ‘There’s no doubt that sometimes the chemistry between hara is very strong. If I were you, I wouldn’t shut myself off to the possibility it can’t be recaptured though. There will be others, Darq. That is the way of life.’
Darq liked to talk about aruna with Ookami, because he could see it was the closest he could get to touching the har. Occasionally, once the training with the swords began, Ookami would hold Darq’s body to position his limbs correctly, and once Darq couldn’t help sinking back against him. Ookami was still for a moment, then gently pushed Darq away. But Darq had registered that stillness, so felt neither embarrassed nor upset. In some ways, it was enough. He could lose himself in the dance of the blades, moving energy around him in the way that Ookami taught him. He hoped one day to have swords of his own.
Although Ookami had never pushed the matter of caste ascension, leaving Darq to make up his own mind, Darq eventually decided he’d like to go through the initiations, if Ookami was willing to officiate. Ookami said he’d be happy to do this, and they agreed that the first ceremony would take place on the summer festival of Reaptide, this being a significant time for such activities. At Ookami’s gentle yet repeated suggestion – the closest he ever got to insistence – Darq had begun to pay his respects to Aruhani whenever he meditated or trained with the swords. The dehar did not seem disposed to make another spectacular appearance, even in visualization, but Darq took care to dedicate whatever aruna he took to Aruhani. Ookami said it was the offering that the dehar preferred.
On the eve of Reaptide, Darq and Ookami made camp in an isolated mountain meadow. On the way up the trail, they had spotted an inhabited farmstead, so once the tent was erected, Ookami told Darq to begin his meditations for the ascension to come. Ookami would ride back down the rough road to ask if the farmsteaders had any milk, cheese or eggs they could spare to travelers. It was his intention to provide Darq with a small feast after the ceremony.
Warmed by this consideration, Darq climbed sun-heated rocks to a high vantage point. From here the world stretched away in a cascading tapestry of a thousand different greens. The wind blew Darq’s hair across his face and pressed his shirt to his back. Sitting cross-legged on the rock, Darq raised his arms to the sky, feeling life surge in every atom of his being. The disciplines of mind and body that Ookami had taught him appeared to have silenced the sly inner voice, if indeed it had ever existed outside of himself. Perhaps inevitably, this calm and satisfied thought invoked it.
Darquiel, my Darq, you disappoint me. Would you deny that I exist?
Darquiel froze. Get out of my head!
Very well…
And it was gone.
Darq pressed his fingertips against his temples. He felt faintly sick, remembering all too clearly the last time he had heard that voice. But by the time he’d climbed back down to the camp, the nausea had subsided, and Darq had convinced himself the voice had been his own. It must be part of his inner self, perhaps the darker part.
At sundown, Ookami lit small lamps and hung them in the trees about their campsite. Darquiel bathed in the icy water of a mountain stream and bound up his hair. It was a solemn and intimate occasion. Darq sat in a circle of softly glowing lights, while Ookami stood before him and called upon various dehara and spirits in his own tongue. His voice was a song, barely more than a whisper, yet containing all the power of the loudest invocation.
When the preliminaries were over, Ookami said, ‘I’ll conduct the rest of the ceremony in Megalithican… I just prefer to speak to the dehara in my own words.’
‘I know,’ Darq said. ‘Please keep doing it. I feel the words inside me. I don’t have to hear them.’
He closed his eyes, concentrating on sensations within his body, the pulse and rush of his own energy. He could sense Ookami stirring him up, raising his frequency to a higher level. It was most astounding. Darq was glad he’d decided to opt for the caste ascensions.
Then Ookami fell quiet. As Darq had undergone no previous ceremonies, he thought at first this silence was simply a part of it, and would have continued to think that, if he’d not heard a strange coughing splutter.
Darq opened his eyes. Ookami stood rigid, his eyes staring madly, straight ahead, as if he was looking at something hideous. Darq glanced over his shoulder, but saw nothing. ‘Ookami?’ he murmured. ‘Are you…’
Ookami began to shudder, as if in a fit. Darq leapt to his feet. ‘No! Don’t touch him! No!’ He knew what was happening. He knew it. An image was forming over Ookami’s body, like a ghost, transparent and wavering. It was an image of the entity that sought to control him, that was torturing his flesh. Ookami was no simple soul. He wouldn’t surrender himself without a fight. Darq saw a creature taller than the har it sought to inhabit. Details were indistinct but he got an impression of very long pale hair and a light-colored robe. The only things that were easily perceived were two smoking holes of burning blue light. He could not call them eyes.
‘Get out of him!’ Darq yelled. ‘I command you.’
The image shimmered and then settled over Ookami like a shroud. It sank right into him. Ookami shuddered, jerked his head to the side, and then smoothed his face with his hands. ‘Ah,’ he said, ‘that’s much better.’ The voice was not his own.
‘In the name of Aruhani, I exorcise you!’ Darq said.
Ookami laughed. ‘You call upon him to dismiss me? How little you know, my Darq.’
r />
‘Who are you?’ Darq shouted. ‘I’m not yours! Who are you?’
Ookami extended his hands in a gesture of appeasement. ‘Calm down. There’s nothing to fear. I’m here to conduct your ascension.’
‘I already have somehar to conduct it,’ Darq said. ‘I don’t want you.’
‘You have no choice,’ said Ookami. ‘It’s my wish to do it.’ His voice hardened. ‘Now sit down.’ He raised a hand, and Darq found himself flung back to the ground. Ookami’s eyes were a dark velvety brown; the har before him now had blazing blue eyes, as cold and dangerous as the eternal flames that might burn upon the altars of damned temples. Darq could see the entity meant business; to defy it might put Ookami in danger.
‘All right,’ he said, displaying his palms. ‘Finish the ascension.’
‘It’s all but done.’
Darq closed his eyes as Ookami approached him. He didn’t know what to expect, but didn’t think it would be good. The har placed a hand flat on Darq’s chest and held it there for over a minute. At the end of that time, a bolt of scalding energy shot from his palm into Darq’s body. It took Darq’s breath away, and he was afraid it was the first of many excruciating experiences, but then he heard the har move away. He opened his eyes.
‘It’s done,’ said Ookami, rubbing his hands together. ‘A very simple process.’
Darq placed a hand upon his chest. The skin beneath his shirt still felt unnaturally hot. ‘I suppose it’s pointless to ask what you’ve done to me?’
Ookami gestured with both hands. ‘Not at all. I’ve simply done what your mentor would have done, only much more efficiently and in a shorter space of time.’
Darq continued to rub at his chest. He felt burned inside, even his throat. It was as if he’d swallowed a drink that was too hot and it now lay boiling in his stomach. ‘Why?’ he asked. ‘Why are you interested in me? Who are you?’
Ookami folded his arms. ‘Don’t you think you should ask the question you really want to know the answer to?’
‘I have! Tell me!’
‘No, what you really want to know is who you are.’
Darq blinked, swallowed. ‘Who… who am I, then?’
Ookami laughed and the blue eyes blazed brighter for a moment. ‘Not yet,’ he said. ‘As for the other questions, let’s just say that I’m your true teacher. I recognise and respect your potential. I can’t stand by and allow lesser beings to meddle with your development.’
‘Are you har?’
Ookami shrugged. ‘This world… all that you see in it, my Darq, will one day be yours.’
‘What?’ Darq had to laugh. The creature, har, whatever it was, must be insane.
‘Laugh as much as you like,’ Ookami said coldly. ‘It’s true. There’s a war going on, of which you are completely unaware. In this war are two main factions, one of which considers Wraeththu to be their disposable allies. The other faction had a stab at controlling hara of their own, through Ponclast har Varr before you were born. This failed, and they realised they couldn’t fight their battles in the earthly realm. Now, they seek other ways to infiltrate and manipulate.’
‘And where do you stand?’ Darq demanded. What he’d heard was similar to things Thiede had told him.
Ookami pulled a sour face. ‘I stand for neither of these factions, as I abhor them both. Or rather, I stand for Wraeththu. I object to lesser species being exploited.’
Darq narrowed his eyes. ‘Come out of that body. Show yourself to me.’
‘Not yet. Make use of this time. I know you desire your mentor and I’m happy to accommodate you in that regard.’
‘You disgust me,’ Darq said. ‘It’s Ookami himself I desire, not an empty shell.’
Ookami shrugged. ‘Suit yourself, my Darq.’
Darq stood up. It was disorientating to think that he was talking to an unknown entity inside the body of a har he knew fairly well. ‘I don’t like what you did to me. It was beyond my control.’
‘Next time you do that, it will be utterly in your control.’
Darq sliced the air with one hand. ‘There won’t be a next time. I think what you did was unnatural.’
Ookami laughed. ‘What an innocent you are. Hara do that all the time.’
‘I don’t believe you.’
‘It’s true. Well, certain hara are aware of the procedure, hara with vision who can see beyond mere physical gratification and a bit of simpering spirituality. Your mentor could have taught you that, but has chosen not to. You have no idea what his plans are. I know everything in his mind. Shall I tell you?’
‘Don’t do that,’ Darq said. ‘It’s wrong.’
Ookami walked in a circle around Darq. ‘Wrong? But you do it, Darq, you know you do. How many times were you chastised for it?’
Darq hesitated, then said, ‘I don’t want to talk with you any more. Go away. I don’t want anything to do with you, or this war that doesn’t exist, or factions, or anything like that.’
Ookami stopped pacing and faced Darq again. ‘Don’t be ridiculous! Why do you think Thiede hid you away in Samway and is now extremely concerned for your well-being? You have no choice in the matter, Darq. You can’t escape your heritage. Ookami is training you to defend yourself, but your ultimate purpose is to defend others.’
Darq was silent for a moment. ‘Who are my parents? Tell me! If I’m to be part of this thing, I have to know.’
Ookami put his head to one side, and smiled in an infuriating manner. The expression didn’t resemble Ookami’s natural smile at all. ‘Thiede is right to keep that information from you,’ he said, ‘because knowing it could make you a beacon to undesirable attention. Thiede is wise to hide you. I have no issue with that. But one day you’ll thank me for my intervention in your life. It just doesn’t seem feasible now, because your life has barely begun.’
Darq’s hands had bunched into fists at his side. He wondered what would happen if he tried to attack this entity. Would it hit back? ‘Tell me your name,’ he said.
Ookami glanced at Darq’s hands. ‘No. I don’t think so. Names are dangerous. Think up your own name for me, if you must use one.’ He laughed again. ‘Relax your fingers, my dear. If you attempt to attack me, I’d have to prevent it, and I’ve no wish to hurt you.’
Darq unbunched his fists self-consciously. ‘So what happens next?’ he asked in a dull voice. He felt as if the weight of the sky rested on his shoulders now.
Ookami’s voice became gentle. ‘You travel, you learn, you wait for what will come. I will be with you.’ He reached out and briefly touched Darq on the shoulder. ‘Befriend the dehara, Darq. Aruhani is a powerful ally, and he was created by Wraeththu. He’s an expression of harish potential. Use him when you need to.’
‘I need to know the history,’ Darq said. ‘I need to know what I’m involved in.’
‘You will. Now, I’ll leave you, but I’ll never be far away. If you ever wish to call me, go to a high place. Swing a weighted cord above your head and intend for me to hear it. Call to me through the winds.’
Without warning, Darq was filled with a feeling of panic. It was as if reality suddenly expanded out from him swiftly in all directions, full of threats. ‘Will you protect me?’ he asked hurriedly. He wished at once he hadn’t said those words. He still didn’t know what this creature was.
‘As much as is possible,’ Ookami replied softly.
Darq bowed his head. Here, in the beautiful summer night, he knew that everything he’d heard was true. Ookami laid a hand upon Darq’s head. ‘Don’t be in sorrow, my Darq. These days will be happy ones for you. Enjoy them while you can.’
Darq looked into the unfamiliar eyes in the very familiar face. ‘Before you go,’ he said. ‘Share breath with me.’
Ookami inclined his head. He said nothing but put his lips against Darq’s own. Darq saw visions of mighty wings, thousands and thousands of them. He was carried upon them.
A voice came faintly in Darq’s head. I am gone…
Yet
the sharing continued. Presently, Ookami drew away and then pressed his forehead against Darq’s own, one hand still cupping the back of Darq’s neck. ‘I am dishonored,’ he said. ‘I could do nothing. I’ve failed you and those who placed you in my care.’
‘You’re not dishonored,’ Darq murmured. ‘That creature is very strong. You had no chance. I saw you fight.’
Ookami exhaled a shuddering breath.
‘We both need to learn how to deal with him,’ Darq said. ‘And we will.’
Chapter Twenty-One
For some reason, on the Uigenna’s flight from the Gelaming into the eastern territories beyond Almagabra, they had not settled in Anakhai, other than in the extreme west. This was unusual, because most areas on the Almagabran continent supported small groups of erstwhile Uigenna and Varrs, even if they chose not to remember their history. Most had fled to Jaddayoth, sustained by the rumors that their great leaders had fled before them. Many ended up in Maudrah, where the har who had once styled himself as Wraxilan, the Lion of Oomah, now lived in a semblance of ascetic nobility as Ariaric, the archon of that tribe. Ariaric, now the Lion of Oomadrah, strove to be a just ruler, although the customs of his tribe were peculiar, involving a bewildering array of abstemious restrictions concerning behavior and etiquette. Some said Ariaric was actually mad, as he’d had strange visions in the past that had prompted him to abandon the wild, hedonistic ways of the Uigenna and live like an austere, nomadic monk for years. Whatever the truth of that was, like all hara, the first generation Uigenna had had to grow up; there were few now who would boast of their youthful exploits, or even cared to remember what kind of humans they’d been, which in many cases had been violent and anti-social to say the least.
As Darquiel and Ookami traveled through Anakhai towards the east, Ookami gave his protégé lessons in Wraeththu history. He too remarked upon the fact that no Uigenna were to be found as they ventured deeper into that country. ‘I’ve heard that the hara here in the heart of Anakhai prevented any settlement from what they considered to be undesirable elements from the west,’ he said. He and Darq were traveling upon a wide track that led through a forest. Mellow sunlight fell upon them. ‘They used the mists of the land to obscure their villages and towns,’ Ookami continued. ‘They cloaked themselves well, and sent out their local elemental spirits to discourage strangers. It’s different now, but at one time, it was supposed to be perilous for anyhar other than the Anakhai to travel these lands.’