Chapter Thirty
Rumors
I call up the stairs to Pete, wanting to get out of the house before Mom can ask any more questions, but he doesn’t answer. So I stomp up the steps and open his door. He’s still in bed, a mass under the covers.
“Are you coming?”
“I’m sick,” he mumbles. His voice is scratchy—whether from sickness or sleep, I can’t tell. I shut his door and make my way down the stairs. Mom stands in the foyer, looking up into the stairwell.
“Where’s your brother?”
“Sick in bed, apparently.” I swing my backpack over my shoulder and head out the door to a cloudy, cool day. I glance over the hedge into Luka’s yard, but he’s not leaning against his car like he usually does, waiting to drive us to school. Instead, his front door flies open and he stalks outside. Even across the distance, I notice the rigid set of his jaw and the deep furrow in his brow. His shoe makes contact with a rock—not by accident—and he swears beneath his breath. When he reaches his car, his eyes meet mine and his expression softens.
I approach hesitantly.
He meets me at the passenger door, but avoids eye contact. “Hey,” he says, shoving his hands into his pockets.
“Hey,” I say back.
He glances over his shoulder, toward his house. His mother peeks through the drapes of the front window. When she sees us looking, her face disappears and the drapes swing back and forth. Luka opens my door, a muscle in his jaw ticking. It would appear his day is starting off much the same as mine.
I duck inside and clasp my seatbelt, unsure if I should tell him about last night’s dream and this morning’s news. How is it possible that everything came rushing back after one lousy missed dose of medicine? Is my mental illness really that close to the surface, itching to escape and ruin my life? And if I don’t have a mental illness, what’s the medicine doing? I shake that last thought away and the shudder that follows it.
Luka slips inside and starts the car, tension radiating from his body. I wait for him to say something, perhaps explain what’s bothering him. Instead, he reverses out of the drive while I nibble my bottom lip, stewing over my grandmother. She won’t leave me alone. Neither will the face of that grieving mother from my dream. For once, I’m thankful for Luka’s mom and the highly suspicious way she acts toward me. She serves as a nice diversion. “Is everything okay between you and your mom?”
“She likes to worry.”
“About?”
Either he doesn’t hear me, or he’s choosing to ignore me.
“She doesn’t like me.” It’s the first time I’ve said the words out loud to him. I wait to see if he’ll deny them.
His knuckles whiten as he grips the steering wheel and pulls the car out of our gated community—one that is safe from drive-by shootings. “She knows you go to the Edward Brooks Facility.”
The words scrape against my already frazzled nerves. All my anger—about last night’s dream and my forgetfulness with the medicine and my messed up mental problems—somehow, they are Luka’s mom’s fault. “Does she forget that you went there first?”
The muscle in his jaw tightens. “I know. But I’m her son.”
I cross my arms and look out the passenger side window. Even in January, a mass of dense green whizzes past. We drive in stony silence, which gives me plenty of time to reach some conclusions. Like the fact that my mother is more understanding and forgiving than Luka’s. If my mom knew he went to the Edward Brooks Facility, she wouldn’t care. Which means she is the better person. And if, on the off chance she did care, I wouldn’t justify her behavior. Luka shouldn’t defend his mom. Not about this.
He pulls into the high school parking lot, finds a spot, and turns off the car. The stony silence remains. Well, I’m not going to be the one to break it. Eager to get away from him, I swing the door open and step out into the nippy air. I know my level of irritation is misplaced. I know that this wouldn’t be such a big deal if last night hadn’t happened. But it did and my emotions will not be reasoned with. Luka’s car door slams shut and he catches up with me. As much as I want to look at him, as much as I want to gauge his thoughts, I keep my attention pinned on my Converse All Stars.
He opens the door to the hum of high school. “I need to use the restroom,” he says. “I’ll meet you in class.”
I stand inside, staring after him. Abandoned.
I turn toward my locker. Leela leans against the one beside mine, staring off in the opposite direction, her hands unusually fidgety considering Pete is nowhere to be seen. I try to bolster my spirits for her benefit. She doesn’t deserve my dark mood. I stop in front of my locker, slide my backpack off my shoulder, and twist the lock to the first number of my combination. “Hey.” I twist to the second number. “You might want to stay away. Pete’s sick today. I could be contagious.”
“Is it true?”
My fingers stop twisting. “Is what true?”
“That you go to the Edward Brooks Facility?”
Leela’s blunt question hits me like a sucker punch. The shock of it steals my breath. All I can do is blink at her with my mouth ajar.
Her face lengthens. “It’s true.”
“Leela …” I want to erase the betrayal and hurt in her eyes, but I’m too stunned to do much of anything.
“And I defended you against Summer.”
“Summer?”
“Does Luka know?”
I don’t know how to respond.
“He does.” Leela shakes her head. “I thought we were best friends.”
“We are.”
“Best friends don’t lie to each other. They don’t keep secrets from one another.” She turns around and makes to walk away, but I grab her elbow.
“Wait.” Why should it matter? The question bulges in my throat. I mean, really, how conditional is her friendship if she ditches me because of my once a week appointments with Dr. Roth? Maybe Leela and Mrs. Williams should get together for lunch. “I didn’t want anyone to know. It’s not exactly the kind of thing you go around telling people.”
“I’m not people, Tess.”
“Right. You’re the first best friend I’ve ever had. I was afraid if I told you, this—whatever we have—would change. Obviously I was right.”
“You didn’t even give me a chance to prove you wrong.” Leela yanks her elbow from my grip. “This whole time, you told me you were taking piano lessons.” Tears build in her eyes as she turns and stalks away.
Scott Shroud gapes at me, his pointy Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. I quickly look away, only to find other students staring too. Small huddles of them fill the locker bay, whispering and darting furtive glances. When I spot Serendipity and Jennalee peeking at me sideways, my heart sinks. I finish the rest of my locker combination and attempt to hide inside.
Summer must have finally told everyone what she overhead in the library all those weeks ago, vanquishing any headway I made into a life of normalcy. But why now? Why did she wait so long? I recall Matt’s words yesterday in the library. Maybe Summer finally snapped.
My heart thuds against my eardrums. Somehow, I always knew this would happen. The last several weeks were too good to be true. My life never really felt like my life. There was this feeling of transience undergirding each blissful moment. I just didn’t expect it all to flip inside out and upside down so quickly.
I want to climb all the way inside my locker, shut the door, and never come out again. Or better yet, I want to slam the locker shut and leave. But I can’t do that, because I drove with Luka, and Pete is home sick with my car in the driveway. So instead, I head to Current Events, shrinking more and more into myself with every step. Funny how fast I turn into the old me—Tess the Freak. Tess, the girl who wants to be invisible.
I reach for the door that opens into the stairwell, but before my hand finds the handle, Beamer swings it open for me, smiling in a way that makes me think somebody forgot to give him the memo. “Where’s your boy?”
“I’m not sure.” Realization hits, followed swiftly by dread. What if Luka’s sullenness in the car had nothing to do with his mother? What if Matt or Jared called him this morning to tell him what the student body is buzzing about? What if Luka decided I’m more trouble than I am worth? And then like an idiot, I came outside and climbed into his car and he was too nice to tell me to drive myself. A groan rumbles deep inside my chest.
“Did he ditch you because of the rumors?”
Okay, so Beamer did get the memo.
He drapes his arm around my neck as we reach the second story landing. I want to shrug him away, but I can’t bring my body to work properly. “Hey, I think it’s cool,” he says. “Freaky is the new sexy, if you ask me.”
We come out of the stairwell. Summer leans against the wall beside the drinking fountain with Jared and a couple guys on the basketball team. When she spots me, her face glows with triumph.
Ignore her, ignore her, ignore her…
I wiggle out from beneath Beamer’s arm and walk quickly with my head down, and as I do, Summer mumbles, “Cuckoo, cuckoo.”
The guys in her group snicker.
Something inside me snaps. Luka’s mom has nothing on this girl. I whip around and dagger her with my eyes. “What is your deal?”
“Please tell me there’s going to be a cat fight,” Beamer says.
The door opens and Leela steps out of the stairwell. She looks between me and Summer, her eyes wide. I’m momentarily distracted, hopeful even. Until Leela presses her lips together and hurries past us into Mr. Lotsam’s classroom.
“Tut, tut. Looks like Tess has lost all her friends.”
I glare up at Summer, hating that she’s taller than me.
“No Luka. No Leela.” She shakes her head, like this is all an unfortunate tragedy. “Have they all abandoned you?”
“If they have, it’s because of whatever lies you’re spreading.”
“Oh, I’m the liar? No, that’s you. All this time you’ve been hiding who you really are.” She sneers. “Does Luka know? Maybe somebody should tell him that his girlfriend is a total psycho. Because only major whack jobs go to the Edward Brooks Facility.”
My hatred swells. I’ve been trained never to hit unless it’s in self-defense, but in this moment I want nothing more than to sink my fist into her face.
“In fact,” she says, raising her voice so that everybody walking past slows and looks. “I think everyone should know. Hey everybody! In case you don’t know, the beloved new girl Tess Eckhart goes to the Edward Brooks Facility!” Her proclamation hiccups over the final word. She snaps her mouth shut and stares over my shoulder.
Everybody watches, so silent and still, I’m positive the blood whooshing past my ears thrums into the silence. I can’t handle it. If I don’t leave right now, I will either haul off and smack Summer, or worse, start crying. I whip around and collide with something hard and warm. It’s Luka—his hair a mess, his green eyes raging. Only his wrath is not directed at me.
“Did you know your girlfriend is a mental case?” Summer asks the question boldly, but the slant of her shoulders looks diminished, less confident. In light of Luka’s smoldering stare, I don’t blame her. She takes a small step back, toward Jared. “She’s going to end up like her grandmother.”
The words ring in my ears. My grandmother? There’s no way Summer can know something like that. “What are you talking about?”
“Play dumb all you want.” Summer peels her attention from Luka and pins her vindictive face on mine. “It won’t change the fact that she’s locked up in an insane asylum. With any luck, it won’t be long before you follow.”
How does she know? How does she know? How does she know? This is all I can think.
Luka steps in front of me. “You need to back off.”
Jared steps forward in kind. “No, you need to back off, Williams. You and your crazy girlfriend.”
It happens so fast. One minute Luka and Jared are facing each other. The next, Luka throws a mean-looking left hook and Jared topples back. Summer screams. I jump away, but not far enough, because Jared recovers and lunges at Luka’s waist and they tumble into me. I fall with a sharp thud on my butt and scoot away quickly while Luka and Jared grapple on the floor, throwing punches and knees. Students mob around them, cheering and chanting.
Mr. Lotsam charges out of his class and throws himself between Luka and Jared. He manages to tear them apart. How, I have no idea. Mr. Lotsam is a skinny-looking tree hugger, probably more acquainted with peace signs than fists. He holds the two boys apart by their arms and yells at the crowd, “Break it up. Get to class!”
Luka wipes at a trickle of blood on his lip. Jared cups his hand over what I’m sure is a swollen eye. Leela peeks out from Mr. Lotsam’s class, catching sight of me before ducking back inside.
Mr. Lotsam looks at me on the floor and Summer standing shell-shocked by the drinking fountain. “All four of you. You’re coming with me.”