“It’s okay,” I said, pressing my lips to her cheek and trying not to cry at how cold her skin felt. “I’ll go get him, okay?”
She nodded, her eyes drooping heavily. “Hurry?”
I did, getting out of bed and moving to the door as I wiped my tears away. It didn’t matter that Zoe’s time was coming and she was asking me to leave. All that mattered was what she wanted to be comfortable, and I was going to make that happen for her, no matter what.
33
I was sitting quietly in a stuffed chair opposite where Tian and Liam were still sleeping, staring blankly at both of them. I hadn’t moved in the last twenty minutes, not since I had come out to get Eric for Zoe. He still hadn’t emerged, and it felt like the entire apartment was holding its breath, waiting for the inevitable.
Even though we all knew what was coming.
But that didn’t stop me from looking up when I heard the sound of heavy footsteps coming down the hall. And it didn’t stop me from getting out of the chair and crossing the room to head directly toward the sound.
What did stop me was Eric—or rather the hard lines of anguish on his face as he stepped into the weak candlelight illuminating the room, looking like he had aged ten years. “She’s gone,” he whispered to me, and I closed my eyes at the wash of pain that overwhelmed me.
She was gone. She was dead.
It didn’t seem real, even after having talked to her about it.
“I’m so sorry,” Maddox said softly from behind us. I wasn’t even sure when she had gotten there, but it didn’t matter. Zoe was gone. “And I don’t mean to undermine the tragedy of this, but we have more problems developing. Liana, sentinels have been spotted only a few floors above us. I’ve lost touch with most of the Knights that were loyal to us, and the handful of people still with us is wavering. We need to get out of here. We need a plan. What do we need to do to stop Sage?”
I heard the soft edge of panic in her voice. She was doing her best to try to hide it, but it was there nonetheless, and the sound of it scared me.
Not only because the sentinels were drawing close to us, but because I knew that whatever decision I made had to be the right one. But what was the right one? Ordering them to help me stop Sage? That was insanity; there was no way we were going to be able to get into the Core without raising some sort of alert, and every member of the IT Department was part of Sage’s army. Maybe if we had fifty more Knights and an entire arsenal with us, we could cut a path through the integration chamber. But we were just five.
No, I realized a heartbeat later, with a sickly jolt. We were just four, now. My heart twisted with the sudden reminder that Zoe was gone, leaving me feeling queasy that I had even dared to forget. Was this what it would feel like if I lost all of my friends trying to stop Sage? I could already feel Zoe’s absence poignantly, like someone had reached up in the sky and plucked the moon right out of it, leaving the terrain ahead dark and treacherous.
What would happen if Sage managed to kill the rest of my friends as well? I could handle my own death, but theirs?
No, they weren’t sticking around to fight. If anything, I was getting them out of here. I’d figure out how to fight Sage on my own, because I had to keep them safe. I couldn’t ask them to die over this. I wouldn’t. This was my fight now.
“Did you grab the Patrian communication device?” I asked, already knowing exactly how I was getting them out. I turned to Maddox and Quess, who were standing side by side, holding hands, and the two looked at each other in confusion, and then back at me.
“Yes,” Quess said, his tone mystified. “Why?”
“We’re getting out of here,” I said. With a plan now in my mind, I suddenly felt the need to move, to do something, and I walked past my stunned friends toward the kitchen table, going over the supplies there. They had my gun, and someone had managed to steal a few more clips of ammunition, but the box with the ammunition wasn’t there. There were several batons and lancers, and I left them out so that my friends could arm themselves. The rest of it—the medical supplies, food, water, pads—I started shoving into a bag I found on a chair, talking while I worked.
“We’ll override one of the lashway doors and scale up the Tower to the Attic, then take an elevator straight up to the roof. We’ll call Alex from there and tell the Patrians that we’ll give them AI technology in exchange for refugee status. Hopefully that’ll be enough for them to fly one of their airships over here and rescue us. You guys should be safe up there until they get here.”
“Wait, what?” Maddox said as soon as I finished. “What do you mean ‘you guys’? Where will you be?”
I paused in the act of shoving several apples into one of the bags and looked at her. When the Patrians had come, all of my friends had been excited about the prospect of leaving, but not me. I had always intended to stay. Only Zoe had known that, but now that she was gone… it didn’t seem like there was much use for secrets. Especially this one.
“I’ll be in the Core,” I told them, swallowing back my fear. “I’m going after Sage.”
“Alone?” Maddox asked, and I nodded. She frowned and looked over at Quess, then back to me. “Liana, don’t be ridiculous. If we’re going to escape, then we do it together. And if you’re going to stay, we’re staying with you.”
I raised an eyebrow at her calling me ridiculous, anger tearing through me at the thought that Maddox could believe I was acting irrationally, but let it go. It didn’t matter what she thought. She and everyone else was leaving.
“Not this time,” I said, returning to the bag and shoving more items in. “Sage has us outnumbered, outgunned, out-damn-sentineled! He’s got Scipio under his control, has had access to Leo for the past few hours, and is inside the Core. He might not know I’m still alive, but he will be expecting something. A large group will draw attention, and one person is a lot easier to hide than four.”
“That’s suicide,” Quess said, stepping around Maddox. “Look, I’m down to escape if you’re going, too, but I’m not going anywhere without you. If you stay, we stay! We can help you.”
“No, you can’t,” I said, swallowing back the warm feeling his declaration had left me with. I loved that they were being so loyal to me, but in this case, that loyalty was going to get them killed, and I couldn’t allow that. “Quess, you and Eric can barely lash, let alone fight.”
“Hey!” Quess said, folding his arms across his chest, affronted, but I ignored him, turning to Maddox.
“You know I’m right—that they will get killed trying to help me. And I’d keep you with me, but you need to stay with them, to protect them. Think about it, Maddox. They won’t be able to make it without you.”
“Don’t do that,” Quess said, making a slashing noise as if to cut my statements in half. “I know I’m not much of a fighter, but I know the Core, and I’m great at computer stuff! You need me!”
“No, I don’t,” I said with more calm than I felt. He was already beginning to override my arguments with logic, but this wasn’t a logical thing. I couldn’t go in there knowing that at any moment, one of them could die. I’d lost five friends already, and I couldn’t lose any more. “I have a way of contacting Dinah, and I know she can get me inside. From there, I’ll make my way to the integration chamber using Lionel’s code. I’m fairly sure I can give the Eyes a run for their money, especially if I’m alone.” I stopped packing, picked up the bag, and turned to my friends. “I’m going to be fine. And I promise that if I can, I will fix this. But there’s no guarantee at this point, and you all need to get moving.”
“Dinah is an old woman,” Maddox replied, folding her arms across her chest. “She might be able to get you in, but if the transmission between the two of you is intercepted, they’ll know you’re coming and set up a trap. You’ll need our help then. I don’t understand why you’re pushing so hard against it!”
I immediately grew defensive at her reasoning and went on the attack. I didn’t care if they wound up hating me for wh
at I said. At least they’d be alive. “I’m pushing for what you and Quess and everyone else wanted! A life outside these Tower walls, free from this insanity! That’s what Cali and Roark were fighting for, remember? And I’m giving it to you—a real way out! You have to take it. Not for me, and not for you, but for Tian. And Liam. And Quess. And Eric! They need to get out of here; they aren’t warriors like we are. They’ll die, and we’ll have to watch. Do you want that?”
Maddox’s glittering green eyes narrowed, but to my credit, my words had given her pause, and she looked away, thinking. Even Quess was momentarily stunned into silence, my words making him reconsider his position, and I felt hope begin to bloom in my heart.
Until I heard, “Hell with that. It’s bull,” from a voice too high-pitched to be from an adult. I immediately zeroed in on the source of the sound to find Tian standing just outside the living area, one fist scrubbing the sleep out of her eyes. “We’re a team, remember?” she asked, looking at me.
Dammit, I was not about to have my orders argued with, not even by Tian. “That’s right,” I said amicably. “You’re the team. I’m the leader. You put me in charge, which means following my orders, even when you don’t agree with them. So grab some stuff, wake Liam up, and get ready to go. We’ve wasted too much time as it is.”
Tian scowled at me, her fists dropping to her hips, but I ignored it, took a few steps toward Maddox, and shoved the bag into her arms. She grabbed it reflexively, her brows furrowing, her face pensive, but didn’t argue as I moved past her into the kitchen, intent on throwing open cabinet doors to pull out any other food that might be inside. Who knew how long they were going to be on the roof before the Patrians arrived.
Tian, however, wasn’t letting this go without a fight. The young teen marched into the kitchen at my heels, fists still planted over her wispy skirt. “Then I vote we remove you as leader,” she declared imperiously. “For danger of being a big stupid-head. You can’t go alone! We won’t let you! We’re family, and we do things together. That’s what Cali wanted for us, and that’s what we’re going to do. So if you’re going to the Core, we’re going to the Core.”
“Whoa, now,” Quess said, stepping behind Tian and resting his hands on her shoulders. “Tian, I agree with everything you’re saying, but if we go, you know it’s just going to be the four of us. You can’t come with us this time.”
She opened her mouth to argue, but I interrupted her before she could start a new tirade. “He’s right in that you’re not coming with me,” I agreed with mock cheerfulness. “Because none of you are. Think about it: are we really going to risk leaving Tian and Liam by themselves? No, because we’re responsible. Quess, you and Maddox are responsible for Tian, and you have to do what’s best for her. That means—”
“Stop it, Liana,” Eric announced in a gravelly voice, breaking his silence for the first time since telling us all Zoe was gone. I stopped mid-word, turning around to see him standing on the other side of the counter that sat between the dining area and the kitchen, a haunted look on his face.
“Eric?” I asked, taking a step toward him, concerned about his wellbeing after losing the woman he loved. “What’s—”
“Zoe told me not to let you do anything she called heroically stupid, and that’s what you’re gearing up to do.”
I silently cursed Zoe, and then felt a stab of guilt at doing so. Even dead, she was trying to take care of me, and while I loved her for it, she didn’t understand what it meant for me. How defeated I would be if I lost everyone I loved trying to save the Tower. I wouldn’t be a person anymore, just a shell, without any light and love to fill me up.
“Eric, Zoe’s gone, and we have to think about what comes next. I have Tony in my head, which means I’m more equipped to—”
“The Tony you want to trade?” Quess cut in angrily. “What, you want to copy him so that we give one version to the Patrians while you carry the other version into the Core? That’s so… How did Zoe phrase it?” He looked over at Eric, who mouthed the words “heroically stupid,” and then continued. “That’s right, heroically stupid! Can’t we just be heroically smart instead? Let’s do that option. I like it way better than the other one.”
Frustration had me gritting my teeth, not just from the overuse of Zoe’s phrase, but because they were making it really difficult to argue with them. I could already tell that the harder I pushed for this, the more they were going to resist. “You don’t get a choice,” I said. “None of you do. You elected me leader. This is the plan, and we—”
“Fine, who agrees that Liana is no longer the leader?” Maddox said, placing the bag on the counter and coming around to stand next to Eric, a scowl on her face.
“Hey,” I said indignantly. “I am doing what a good leader would do and trying to save your lives. I’m responsible for them, and I know this is a suicide mission. I already lost Dylan and Rose getting here, and now I’ve lost Grey, Leo, and Zoe. Grey and Leo might still be alive, but not for long, and there’s a chance I might not even make it to them before Sage gets what he needs and kills them! This is too dangerous. I’m not accepting the risk. Stop arguing with me and get to the damn roof.”
“I refuse,” Tian said, defiantly crossing her arms over her chest, and I was torn between screaming, bashing my head against the wall, and pulling out my hair. They were being so monumentally stubborn, and I wasn’t worth this show of loyalty! I didn’t want their loyalty; I wanted them safe.
“I also refuse,” Quess said a moment later from behind her. “Granted, we’ll have to override Tian’s objections to keep her safe, but I’m okay with that as long as we’re going into the Core together.”
I pressed my lips together to keep from growling at him and looked over at Maddox and Eric. “And you two?”
“I’ve made myself perfectly clear,” Eric said, tiredly resting his hands on the counter. “I’m going where you go. End of discussion.”
“Same here,” Maddox replied. “We’ve been with you since the beginning of all this, Liana. And you may be responsible for our lives, but it’s our choice what we do with them, not yours. We’re not going to leave you now. You need us, and we need you. Now, you can be in charge, giving us the best chance of success, or you can follow my lead. Either way, you need to accept that we’re coming with you.”
A wall of pain and foreboding slammed into me, and I almost cried. I wasn’t sure what I was feeling—pain, sorrow, grief, fear, loss… All I knew was that nothing I could say would change their minds.
“Fine,” I grated out, angrier with myself that I couldn’t convince them. “Wake Liam up, and let’s get going. I’ll call Dinah while we’re on the move.”
“Now that sounds like a sensible plan I can get behind,” Quess said with a smile, and I could tell he was trying to cheer everyone up and keep us all optimistic.
But I was far from that as I moved to gather more of the things we would need. I was terrified at what would become of us after everything was said and done, confused by how willing they were to sacrifice their lives for this, and in a very small part of my heart, relieved that they weren’t going to leave me, even if I wanted them to.
It wasn’t enough, but it was something. And something had to be enough, at least for today.
34
I had Quess exchange my net for the IT one I’d taken from Lidecher before we left the apartment so I could contact Dinah. Our plan was relatively simple: we’d stop by a nearby armory to get as much ammunition for the lancer as we could carry, as well as lash harnesses for Quess and Eric, and then exit through the lashway using Lionel’s code. We’d scale the Citadel, cross the roof of the central chamber to the Core, and enter through whatever hatch Dinah told us to.
If I could reach her. Since Quess had put the net in, I’d tried to contact her twice, only to have her reject the calls. We were speeding toward the first destination of our plan—the armory—through halls that would haunt me to my dying days. The signs of battle here were even worse th
an what I had seen on the upper floors, and I couldn’t walk twenty feet without seeing another crimson-clad body lying on the floor.
Maddox had the people still loyal to us scouting the halls ahead, so we moved with relative ease through the corridors, but it was still unnerving. My stomach shriveled up whenever my eyes found another body, and it performed somersaults when my ears picked up the sounds of fighting coming from an adjacent hall.
And it only grew worse the longer it took me to get ahold of Dinah. Because I didn’t just need her help getting into the Core; I needed her help finding a way to sneak up on Sage. Whatever—wherever—this integration chamber was, I was betting there was only one door in, and it would be heavily guarded. If I tried a frontal assault, we’d lose immediately.
But if Dinah didn’t call me back, then a frontal assault was all we were going to have.
I was beginning to grow concerned when she hadn’t called by the time we got to the armory, but I pushed it back and focused on scavenging whatever we could from the picked-over remains of the room. Whoever had broken in had been in a hurry, so there were lots of little items scattered on the floor that we could use, and the spare lash harnesses were mostly untouched.
I helped Quess and Eric get their harnesses on while Maddox, Tian, and Liam quickly set out to pick up whatever we could use, as their harnesses were already on. By the time both men were suited up, the others had managed to get quite a bit of ammunition for the lancer, as well as extra lash ends, masks, a few flash grenades, and some spare bottles of water that had been tucked back in a cabinet.
Oh, and still no return call from Dinah.
We exited the room quickly and headed for the lashway, a large door that opened right out to the side of the Citadel. They were all sealed right now, but we were armed with Lionel’s code, so they wouldn’t be for long. I’d use that code all the way to the Core if I had to, though I knew that Sadie and the rest of IT were going to figure out that we were using it, and then figure out where we were heading, and mount a defense against us. If that happened, and we didn’t hear from Dinah, then we’d be dead in the water.