“None of that matters now.” Pushing firmly, I backed him toward the single bed that used to be his. The one with black sheets and no colour. The one I’d curled into, when he wasn’t looking, to smell his pillow.
He tripped backward, his jeans slipping to half-thigh. Landing on his ass, he snapped out of whatever trance I’d put him in and shook his head. “No.” Standing up again, he begged, “Let’s go rent a room somewhere. Or pitch the tent. Somewhere it’s just us. I want you, Della. And you’re right, I need you. But…this place is too much.”
“Please, Ren.” Colliding with him, I dug my fingers into his hair and wrenched his mouth back down to mine. “Please.” I kept my fingers lashed in the soft copper strands, piercing my tongue into his mouth.
And finally…he snapped.
His hands clamped on my ass, hoisting me up with impressive strength and encouraging my legs to wrap around his hips.
The moment I latched on, he moved until he slammed me against the wall. My spine bruised as he wedged me tight, rocking into me, his lips harsh and dominating as the kiss I’d given him turned into one of crushing need from him.
His hands trailed upward, squeezing my breasts before cupping my cheeks and holding me steady.
And then he kissed me.
Truly, deeply, deliciously kissed me.
His mouth opened wide, his tongue dancing with mine, our heads shifting and breaths hitching as he consumed my every thought.
“You just had to push, didn’t you?” He nipped my lip, biting and licking his way down my jaw to my throat. There, he sank sharp incisors into my flesh, making me cry out and claw at his shoulders. “Had to make me do this. Had to make me accept.”
My hands fell to his hips while he continued to rock into me, making me wet, ensuring my entire body throbbed for his.
Luckily, I wore a skirt. My one and only skirt with a grey sweater with silver thread.
His touch found my thighs again, swatting the material away, hooking his fingers into the cotton between my legs. “I can’t stop. I doubt I’ll ever be able to stop.”
I expected him to put me down and wait until I’d removed my underwear, but I’d pushed him too far, and he merely yanked the fabric aside and drove two fingers deep, deep inside me.
“See, Della?” He withdrew and plunged inside me again. “This is what happens when you push me.” He wasn’t gentle. He wasn’t kind. He was ruthless and merciless and I loved it.
His hand cupped me as his fingers pulsed, dragging heat from everywhere. “Is this what you want? Tell me this is what you want. Tell me this is okay. Goddammit, Della, tell me you need me as much as I need you because I’m going out of my goddamn mind.”
I convulsed as he rocked his fingers so deep, a sliver of pain cut through me. Pain that only made my pleasure all that more intense. “Yes. God, yes.”
“This is what you pushed me for? This is what you’ve broken me for?”
“Yes!”
His touch rocked up, pulsating in the perfect way he knew I loved. I moaned as my body responded with tingling, tangling bliss.
“You’ve always driven me wild.” He kissed me again, his tongue lashing and cruel. “Always been too bold.” His kiss turned deeper still, making me breathe him, ensuring my body wasn’t just made up of my cells, but his too. A synergy of bodies. A blending of him and me and past and present and the lovely, lovely knowledge that whatever distance had been between us was no more. “Always been too much for me. So much braver than me.”
“No,” I cried out as he thrust his cock against my leg in time to the fierce drive of his fingers. “You’ve always been braver. I understand now how hard it would’ve been—”
“Hard?” His teeth found my neck again, biting, licking, consuming. A small cough nudged my fear. “Hard is nothing compared to how hard I am now. How fucking hard I am for you.”
I had no reply, only a boneless sigh and a desperation that had a will of its own.
A desperation I’d always had.
A desperation that had always wanted Ren in any way it could have him.
This had always been our future.
There was no way we could fight an attraction like this. No way of denying a connection like this.
This was destiny.
Pure and simple.
Dragging my hips closer to his, Ren broke the kiss and stared down. His lips were red, skin flushed, hair a mess. He looked savage. Clothes were wrong on him when he seemed so primitive and free.
In a flash, I saw him naked in rippled resplendent glory, standing in his chosen home—the forest where we’d shared our childhood. With the trees we called friends, and the river we called parent, behind him.
That was where Ren belonged.
That was where a man so much more than human should be.
With fingers inside me, he cupped my cheek with his free hand, trembling even now, but this time with lust so vicious it tore pieces off our hearts.
We stared at each other.
Him and me.
Us.
And he said, “I told you I loved you, Della.”
“I know.”
“I told you I always have.”
“I know.”
Withdrawing his fingers, he grabbed his cock and lined up with my body. “Are you happy knowing I can’t deny you? Are you pleased with yourself that I have you pinned against the wall and can’t stop? Are you happy that after this, I’ll never know if I loved you the way I should have? That I’ll forever wonder? Forever think of fucking you here, in this room, and no longer care about any of it?”
“Yes. So many times yes.”
“Good.”
I smirked. “Fine.”
He thrust, filling me with one quick impale. “This is what you make me become.” He didn’t wait for me to adjust, just rocked deeper again and again. “This is the power you’ve always had over me ever since I woke up and saw my soulmate and not just my friend.”
My fingers clawed at him.
I gasped as he sought my lips and kissed me as ferociously as he took me against the wall. “This is what I was hiding from you as well as myself.” He thrust. “This.” He drove deeper. “Fuck.” He roared as he tried to climb inside me. “This. It has always been this. Always been you.” His forehead crashed on mine as his rhythm lost any melody. “Fuck, it’s always been you, Della.”
Tears sprang with the heartbreak in which he admitted such a thing.
Love melted my soul with the shock in his eyes that he’d finally seen.
“Ribbon…” His gaze glittered as he blinked in disbelief. Disbelief that it had taken him two years of being together to finally snap and admit to himself.
“I-I don’t care anymore.” He smiled with sharp teeth and sharper joy. “I don’t care what people think. I don’t care if they judge. I.” Thrust. “Don’t.” Thrust. “Care.”
“Finally.” I laughed as he suckled my neck, driving into me again and again. His lips were poisonous and his tongue venomous, slowly killing me as I scratched him, marked him, begging him to treat me worse.
And he did.
We raged and fucked and claimed.
A battle.
A war.
Love at its rawest.
And it was right.
Unbelievably right.
Threading my fingers in his hair, I moaned, “It’s always been you, Ren. It will always be you.” My oath triggered the rest of his undoing, and whatever gates he kept locked blew wide apart.
“You’re mine.” He growled.
“I know.”
“And I’m yours.”
“I know.”
“Fuck.” His breathing turned to heavy grunts, a cough rattling just once as he rode me faster, climbing higher, driving and demanding.
Our kisses were messy and out of control.
Our hands heavy and greedy to touch.
His lips bruised mine, injecting need and desire into my blood until I shivered uncontrollably.
&nb
sp; His body hardened inside me until he groaned in pleasure-pain.
He thrust faster.
On and on, affirmation after affirmation, love after love.
And when he pressed his fingers to my clit and rubbed in perfect rhythm to his thrusts, I was no longer fighting but sprinting toward the promise only he could give.
My body spun and spindled and shattered outward, rippling around his invasion, making tears prickle my eyes.
The second my orgasm finished, Ren buried his face in my hair, swallowed a howl, and drove so hard, so deep, I was sure we’d end up in the stables beyond.
“I can’t stop. I’m-I’m…” His rumbling, hungry groan tore from his throat as his body quaked in mine. He went taut, dangerous. Then his body pulsed over and over, hot splashes marking me as his, finding his release as quickly as I’d found mine.
For a long moment, neither of us moved.
Our hearts clanged like church bells.
Our limbs throbbed like pounding drums.
And then a softness replaced the madness, and Ren scattered feather kisses all over my face as we clung to each other, coming down from our addictive high.
He coughed quietly, making yet more tears swell in my eyes.
Sweet, fuzzy feelings battled with scared, timid things, and I wanted to hug him close and fight every hour, every year and stay right there, together.
Accepting another kiss, I whispered, “Ren…will you do something for me?”
He smiled, dazed and satisfied. “Anything.”
“I want you to see a doc—”
But a knock sounded on the door.
The unlocked door.
And it opened.
And Cassie walked in.
And she saw.
Everything.
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
REN
* * * * * *
2020
“SHIT.” My hand flew up as if I could stop her mid-step. “Cassie. Out!”
She froze, drinking in the sight of me with my jeans around my thighs, Della sex-mauled and panting in my arms, and our semi-naked bodies joined in a way that needed no explanation.
“Holy shit.” Cassie clamped a hand over her mouth, spinning around. “What the—”
With her back turned, I winced as I disengaged from Della. Stepping back, I dropped her gently to the floor. Once she was steady, I hoisted up my jeans and tucked my still hard flesh into my jeans.
The sound of my zipper and clink of my buckle sent my cheeks blazing, made worse by Della rearranging her underwear and smoothing down her skirt.
Clothes might cover us, but they didn’t stop the raging heartbeats, tangled hair, or swollen lips of what we’d just been doing.
Of all the fucking times.
Of all the fucking places.
I felt as if I’d been skinned alive and every organ left on display. I felt butchered and broken and bruised, and it was all Della’s fault. But I also felt awed and amazed and absolutely stupefied that I hadn’t known what fears lurked inside my heart.
That I’d avoided coming to terms with what we’d done for two years, and it’d taken a stupid bedroom full of our youth to make me snap.
I hated that she’d pushed me.
But I loved her for it too, because I felt lighter than I had…in, well, ever.
I was centred and calm, and I didn’t want a fight with Cassie messing up that special connection that had sprung between Della and me. I wanted to bask in it. I wanted to forget about everyone else for a while and just love her. I needed to reassure her that I was fine and the fear she’d been nursing was completely unfounded.
Dragging shaking hands through my hair, I did my best to put myself back together.
Giving me a guilty look, Della checked me over, found I was marginally suitable for company, then said softly, “You can turn around, Cassie.”
Cassie peered over her shoulder warily, eyes narrowed. For a second, she stared at us, hurt and hating. Then she spun around, her mouth falling wide with shock. A few squeaks came out before she cleared her throat and snapped, “I mean…I suspected something was going on but…to actually know it’s true?” She crossed her arms tight. “I-I don’t know what to say.”
I didn’t want anything to do with this.
I was sorry she’d seen us together, but that was her fault for walking in unannounced.
I was sorry she had to face the truth that I was with Della, but it wasn’t like I was hers. We were kids when we hooked up. It meant nothing.
I cleared my throat, hiding yet another cough. “Cassie, I think you better go— ”
“Wait.” Della held up her hand. “There isn’t anything to say.” She glanced at me before finishing, “We’re together. It’s that simple. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Cas.”
Cassie’s eyes narrowed, flitting to me, then back to Della, then back to me. Her anger only increased. “You’re together? Well, that just makes it all fine and dandy, doesn’t it?” She rolled her eyes. “Don’t you think it’s a little…I dunno? Disgusting to do something like that in your old room? A room where you told me and my family you were brother and sister?”
“That’s in the past.” Della’s face hardened, prepared to take on Cassie in a way that worried me. “It’s none of your business what we do or don’t do in whatever place we choose.”
“It kinda is, seeing as this is my home!”
“It was ours, too!” Della shouted back.
“Yeah, and you were kids!”
“And now we’re not, so get over it!”
Cassie sniffed. “It still doesn’t make it right.”
“I don’t care. I’m not looking for your approval.” Della crossed her arms. “This has nothing to do with you.”
Cassie faced me, her temper zeroing in on me instead. “You promised me when I saw you guys that night in the stable that you hadn’t kissed her before. That you’d never touched her. You stood before my parents and assured us all that there was nothing going on.”
I wanted to leave. The walls were too close. The door too far. But this wasn’t just Della’s fight. It was mine too, and I’d always known we’d have to face it, sooner or later.
Standing taller, I wished I could shed the scent of sex from my skin. “I told the truth. Nothing was going on.” I winced. “Then.”
Cassie pursed her lips, eyes full of storms. “How long?”
Dangerous, dangerous question.
“Two years,” I muttered.
“Two years?” Cassie’s face blanched. “Della…” She looked at her as if her heart was broken.
Della’s own heartbreak painted her features as she shrugged helplessly. “I-I couldn’t tell you. I’m sorry.”
Cassie put up a hand, blocking Della from view as she locked eyes on me. “You expect me to believe you’ve only been fucking her for two years? You guys suddenly vanished into the night. Who’s to say you didn’t do what I just witnessed the minute you were away from here? Who’s to say you weren’t fucking—”
“Don’t you dare accuse me of something I haven’t done.” My jaw clenched with disgust. “What sort of person do you think I am?”
“One who was obviously lying to himself.”
“If you think that low of me, then leave!” I pointed at the door. “Like Della said, this has nothing to do with—”
“He didn’t touch me until I was eighteen.” Della leapt to my defence, standing in front of me like a shield. “He left me, actually. For six months, he put distance between us, but it only showed we’d been running from the truth and couldn’t anymore.”
Cassie cocked her chin, not giving an inch. “The truth about what?”
“The truth that I was in love with her, and she was in love with me.” I growled. “We didn’t plan it. Believe me, I tried to fight it. But…she’s mine. So, are we done here?”
Silence fell.
Tempers cooled a little, only for Cassie to turn her attention back on Della and fire up all over again. “I
t still doesn’t change the fact that you didn’t tell me.”
“Well, we’re telling you now.” I did my best to keep my patience. “We’re together and engaged and—”
“Wait. What?” Her skin whitened. “Oh, my God. You’re engaged?” Cassie shook her head. “And you didn’t think I deserved to know? You didn’t think my friendship valued a heads up? You didn’t think our past, Ren, gave me some sort of right to know?”
“Our past meant nothing. We fooled around, that’s all.”
Cassie pressed a fist to her heart. “Wow, Ren. Just wow.”
Regret swamped me. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? I just meant, Della was always—”
“Yours.” Her eyes glossed. “I get it. Can’t say I’m even surprised. There was always something more between you two. Sleeping in the same bed? Joined at the hip all the time? It wasn’t normal.” She rolled her eyes. “Dad told me to let it go, that you’d both had a rough start to life, and it was understandable that you’d found family in each other and overcompensated…but I always had my suspicions.”
“You never said anything.” Della frowned.
“I didn’t know how. I tried to joke about it a couple of times, but Dad overheard me and told me to give you a break. He said who cared if you loved each other so much that it was a little creepy? I should be happy you had each other.” She laughed. “But you have to understand, I have two brothers, so I know what siblings are like and, I’m sorry, but you two? You were never siblings.”
I froze.
All along, I’d believed my lie was ironclad and impenetrable.
Turned out, the only person believing it was me.
Everyone else was just waiting for us to wake up, grow up, and admit it.
“Fucking hell.” I coughed.
She hugged herself tighter, giving me a helpless shrug. “It’s done now. Secret’s out.”
“I can explain.” Della stepped forward, her fingers twirling the cheap gemstone ring I’d bought her. The ring that promised a marriage, a life, a forever.
It was a testament to how distraught Cassie had been at her mother’s funeral and how grief-blind she’d been this past week that she hadn’t noticed Della’s tattoo, her ring, or my bracelet with its missing diamantes.