When I whispered, “Sorry,” her gaze fell to her fingers spread over my heartbeat.
I watched her lashes flutter as she pressed just a touch harder against me as if trying to imprint herself inside me before pulling her hand away. What I could’ve told her was that she’d already imprinted herself quite solidly to my heart.
But Gally snickered. “Oh, so you two have turned into fuckbuddies, huh? Tell me, Hart. You try to get into her pants before or after you found out she was really a chick?”
I curled my lip into a snarl, and Remy immediately stepped up against me, stopping me from getting punchy again. Blowing out a calming breath, I narrowed my eyes and told Gally, “You need to talk about our drummer with a little more respect than that, asshole.”
With a gasp, Remy whirled to face me, her hair swishing out over her shoulder as she did.
Gally scowled and shook his head, then exchanged a glance with Holden before turning back to me. “Our drummer? I thought she was out of the band. You texted, calling off the gig Friday, saying she was a chick.”
I clenched my teeth, because I had meant for her to be out of the band when I’d texted them those messages, but now I’d changed my mind. “I was just letting you know her change of status. And we had to cancel Friday because of...other reasons.”
Remy didn’t correct me, thank God. She merely zipped her gaze around to the three of us, her gaze wide and eager to hear how this conversation would end.
“So, you seriously want a fucking bitch in the band?” Gally exploded incredulously, motioning toward Remy as he glared at me. “But we’re named Non-Castrato because—”
“I don’t care why we’re named Non-Castrato. And don’t call her a bitch. The fact of the matter is she’s already been in the band for over a month. What difference does—”
“Because I don’t want a damn chick in the band!” Gally roared.
Scowling at him, I curled my hands into fists. When I glanced Holden’s way, he’d yet to give his input, but I could see from his expression, he would follow Gally’s wishes. Bracing my legs a couple more inches apart, I made my stand. “If she doesn’t stay, then I don’t stay.” Beside me, Remy sucked in a surprised breath, but I kept my gaze steady on the other two members. “Remy is the best damn drummer I’ve ever met, and I’m going to be a part of whatever band she’s in.”
Gally glared at me a second longer before hissing out a curse and throwing up his hands. “Fine. What the fuck ever. She makes any drama for us, though, and I’m out.” As he stormed off, wafting off more drama with his pouty little exit than I’d ever seen Remy exude, Holden nodded his compliance once and trailed after Gally.
I watched them go, remembering what they’d just been doing—together—with Jodi, and shook my head, perplexed.
From Remy’s apartment, Jodi cleared her throat. “So, um...yeah. Once again, I’m left standing here awkwardly between you two. So...I’m just going to let you talk...again.” And she disappeared inside, shutting the door to leave me alone with Remy.
I glanced at her, suddenly at a loss for words. I’d come here to get her back, but then...all this had happened, so I ended up sighing and running my hands through my hair. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”
Hugging herself, she nodded. “So you already said.”
“My head’s still all over the place this morning,” I tried to explain because it didn’t look like she was going to forgive me for assuming such a thing about her and our two bandmates. “I forgot to take anything for my hangover and I was preoccupied, trying to decide what to say to you. When he opened the door...I don’t know. I just...I completely lost the ability to think rationally.”
I’d gone into caveman mode, ready to fight for my woman.
But Remy still wouldn’t look at me.
I ground my teeth. “Damn it. I’m not used to this. Women who actually know me don’t just go telling me they love me.”
Finally, she looked up, her brown eyes wide with surprise.
After a deep breath, I added, “It didn’t seem real. It was easier to believe you didn’t mean it, that you’d already moved on. Thinking you and they had...it was just an instant, knee-jerk reaction that was really stupid and—”
She reached out and set her fingers over my mouth, hushing me. When I drew in a breath, she murmured, “It’s okay.”
When she lowered her hand, I sucked my bottom lip in between my teeth, trying to taste her touch.
God, I was lost for this woman.
Not sure what to say next, I blurted, “Did you know your roommate was...with both of them?”
Remy shuddered. “Unfortunately, yes.” Then she spotted her drink she’d sat down on the newel post at the top of the stairwell. Snatching it up, she took a quick sip and then eyed me warily. “Did you really just fight with them to keep me in the band?”
I suddenly wasn’t sure what to do with my hands, so I shoved them into my pockets.
“Well...” I heaved up one shoulder self-consciously. “It’s what you wanted most in the world, isn’t it?”
When she didn’t answer, I looked up into her face. Her eyes looked a little watery and uncertain, so I took a step closer and whispered her name.
“Damn it,” she muttered, squeezing her eyes closed. “Yes, it used to be what I wanted most in the world.”
My lips quirked up with satisfaction. “Used to be?” I asked.
When she bit her lip and nodded, I moved in even closer. Her breathing picked up, and my body stirred with need. “So what do you want the most now?” I asked.
Her lashes fluttered open and her chest heaved.
“Just say it,” I encouraged softly.
But she shook her head. “I...I can’t. I fucked everything up.”
My chest swelled. “You sure about that?”
Tears filled her eyes. She whispered my name and reached for my chest, only to draw her hand back to herself after she’d barely touched me.
Now it was my turn to shake my head. “Because as much as I tried to regret everything and stay mad at you, I can’t.”
She hiccupped and then quickly pressed her fingers to her lips, her wide eyes watching me as if unable to believe what she was hearing.
So I kept talking. “I think I wanted to hate you because I felt so stupid. I should’ve—I just...I should’ve been able to figure it out.”
“No.” Swishing her head back and forth, she clutched my arm. “I deceived you at every turn, lied and tricked you so you couldn’t realize the truth. You didn’t do anything wrong. It was all me. I—”
I set my fingers over her lips to hush her. “And yet it never seemed to matter if you were Sticks or Elisa, boy or girl, I still always wanted to be around you. I...” With a small, self-deprecating laugh, I looked up at the ceiling and said, “Do you know why I was able to take you home barely ten minutes after our first kiss without a single qualm of doubt, after I’d gone on and on to you more than once about wanting to get to know a woman first and actually start a relationship with her?”
Shame filled Remy’s eyes. “Yes. Because it’d been too long since you—”
“Hell, no,” I growled. “My libido doesn’t control me that much. I could’ve waited longer.”
She crinkled her brow, surprised...and yet confused. “Then—”
“It was because you felt so familiar.” I leaned forward and set my forehead against hers. “Like I did know you and you knew me; I just didn’t understand at the time that there was a reason for that. But I also hooked up with Elisa without needing to really talk to her because I was already getting the companion part of a relationship I was craving...from Sticks. Your alter ego fulfilled my emotional need, so the only thing left that I wanted was the intimacy, and then you delivered that too, so really...you gave me everything I wanted most. I just couldn’t figure out it was all coming from the same person.”
“Damn it,” she sniffed and wiped at her nose as more tears slid down her cheeks. “You’re going to for
give me, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, I am.” I smiled and cupped her face so I could wipe the tears off her cheeks with my thumbs.
She squeezed her eyes closed and bowed her head. “But I lied to you. I—”
“Stop,” I murmured softly before letting out a big sigh and rubbing my hands over her weary face. Then I watched more tears spill down her cheeks and could only shake my head.
Taking her fingers, I gently urged, “Please stop crying.”
She shook her head. “I can’t help it. I’ve cried pretty much this entire month since meeting you, and I never cry this much. How did you turn me into such a freaking watering pot?”
I shook my head. “I guess Nazareth really knew what it was talking about.”
Sniffing, she frowned at me before saying, “What? That Love Hurts?”
A smile bloomed across my face. “See. You got my music joke. I love that. I love that you get me. How the hell could I not forgive you?”
“Because I totally don’t deserve it,” she babbled, tears still falling down her cheeks. “I was so wrong.”
All I could do was shrug as I pulled her in for a hug and kissed her hair. “Who’s to say I wouldn’t have done the same thing in your shoes? You told me how much you’d longed to be in a band and how no one ever gave you a chance. Honestly,” my lips quirked, “it was kind of ingenious how you managed it. And I was there to see how it snowballed into a bigger lie, so I know you didn’t do anything with any malicious intent. I know you never meant to hurt or trick or—”
“What about Elisa?” she blurted.
I froze, still sore about that. But still...unable to regret it. “What about her?” I asked huskily.
“That had to be my biggest deception of all. I mean, you pretty much told me how to catch you. You said you liked to pursue. And I totally didn’t mean to wake up the hunter in you, but I knew—”
“I thought you said you just couldn’t resist me and my mystically powered mouth,” I cut in, grinning until I made her blush.
“Yeah,” she muttered, rolling her eyes. “That’s exactly what happened, too, you way too amazing bastard, you. But you also told me you wanted to get to know a woman before taking her to bed, and I didn’t let you do that. I made you go through another one-night-stand, even though I knew you hated them, and I—”
My chuckle shut her up.
“Why the hell are you laughing?” she demanded.
“Because,” I shook my head, “you’re so cute, trying to defend me against yourself.”
“But—”
“No. Shh.” I pressed my mouth to hers, and yep, it worked. Shut her right up. And tasted good too. I wanted to go deeper, kiss her more, but there was one more thing to say before I lost myself to the pleasure that was Remy Curran.
“I don’t regret it,” I promised her. “Any of it. Now are you going to stop trying to argue with me about this, woman? Or are you going to accept it and come home with me already so I can show you my surprise, and then make love to you for the rest of the afternoon?”
She blinked once, then twice, her brown eyes wide with hope before she murmured, “Okay, take me home with you.”
I came awake to lips pressing their way up my spine. Every few inches, teeth would nip and a tongue would lap up the sting. Then warm palms smoothed over my flesh from behind and swooped around to the front, cupping my breasts.
“Mmm,” I hummed my delight, keeping my eyes closed because I was half afraid this entire afternoon of nothing but naked time with Asher had all been a dream. Naked on the couch, playing Call of Duty, naked in the kitchen fixing survival snack food together, naked in bed, working our way through a new box of condoms...just pleasantly naked. “That feels so...good.”
“Does it?” Asher’s voice filled me before he leaned in and kissed the sensitive bare spot right behind my ear. “Then you should really stay here while I’m gone so I can pick right back up where I left off when I get back.”
My eyes flew open. “Gone? Get back?” Frowning, I rolled around to face him, only to gasp when I found him not-naked. In jeans and a black shirt, he looked sexy as hell...but still. Leaving?
“Where’re you going?”
His green gaze traveled down my body, landing on my exposed breasts as he answered, “I have to go into work. But you can stay.” Then his gaze lifted to mine and uncertainty filled his features. “Will you? You, uh, you’d actually be doing me a huge favor. I’m a little worried about leaving Mozart here alone until I get his cage put up.”
He’d actually wanted to re-hang the cage earlier, but I hadn’t let him put clothes on, and though I’d loved the idea of naked cage-hanging, he’d balked and instead tackled me onto the bed and taken me hard and fast. I hadn’t minded that option either.
I cupped his face to help appease his worry. “Of course, I’ll squirrel-sit for you. I won’t let anything happen to your precious.”
Lips tipping up with an immediate grin, he dove in for a quick, satisfied kiss. “Thank you, but honestly, I just wanted to come home so I could find you here asleep in my bed.”
“Oh, ho...” I said, rolling my eyes. “So the truth comes out. You just want to keep me trapped here like your little sex slave, huh?”
The bastard’s smile only spread. “If only I’d kept the handcuffs.”
I threw back my head and laughed. Wrapping my arms around him, I kept my neck arched back so he could kiss his way up my throat. Filled with a bliss that radiated out all my limbs, I sighed and murmured, “I love you so much.”
The press of his lips paused at my jawline. When he said nothing, though his line here should’ve been, “I love you, too,” I lowered my chin to meet his gaze. His green eyes swirled with need.
I knew he liked hearing my declaration, and I could see that he wanted to say it back—he was just scared—so I only smiled and gently pressed my mouth to his and stroked my fingers through his hair. He’d never said the words to a woman before, and I was kind of glad he was hesitant. It let me know that when he finally did say it, it would mean more.
Until then, I was completely okay with being patient and playing sex slave until he felt comfortable enough to tell me.
With a groan, he tore his mouth away from mine but then pressed our foreheads together. “I really need to get to work.”
I grinned. “Then go to work.” But even as I said it, I stretched against him and made sure my knee not-so-accidently grazed the crotch of his jeans.
“Damn you, you tempting sexy naked lady.” Growling, he rolled me onto my back, cupped one of my thighs so he could slip his hips between my legs, and crawled over me as he began to unzip his jeans. “We only have time for a quickie.”
“Oh, goodie!” I squealed out my joy and tugged at his shirt, peeling it off him while he ripped open a condom package. But I didn’t even have time to toss it across the room before he was pushing inside. “Oh!”
Gasping in surprise, I clutched his back and dug my nails into his warm skin as he thrust without mercy.
“Por Dios, you really did mean quick, didn’t you? Mmm...más rápido. ¡Más duro!”
I don’t know if he was finally understanding some of my Español, or if he could just tell what my body wanted, because he delivered, heaving into me, filling me with a physical joy that burst just under my skin and made me come but also a warmth in my heart that made me close my eyes and clutch him to me as he followed with his own orgasm.
“Te amo,” I whispered.
He drew out a peace-filled sigh and pressed his forehead to mine. A moment of content silence followed, where we merely held each other in the aftermath. I stroked my fingers up his back and into his hair, realizing he was getting drowsy and would probably fall asleep on me in seconds, but not quite ready to wake him up and send him off to work.
But a chattering had me glancing past Asher’s bare shoulder to see Mozart standing on his hind feet at the end of the bed, watching us.
I yelped out my surprise and threw the s
hirt I still had wadded in my hand at him. Asher stirred on top of me and sat up to glance back and see what I’d done.
“I needed to put that back on,” he slurred, still half asleep.
“Well, your squirrel needed to stop being a pervert,” I argued back, scowling. “Seriously, he was staring at your ass.”
Chuckling, Asher crawled to the end of the bed so he could retrieve his clothes and put himself back together for work. “I’m so happy you two get along.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and watched him finish dressing. “There wouldn’t be a problem if he’d just learn his place.” Poking a finger into my chest, I called out into the room so Mozart could hear me...wherever he was. “That’s my man’s ass, squirrel. So eyes off, got it?”
“You tell him, gorgeous.” Grinning, Asher crawled back to me and cupped the back of my head as he kissed me hard and fast. When he pulled back, his smile was still smugly proud. “I kind of like you laying your claim on me.”
Arching an eyebrow, I eyed his neck. “Well, if you want me to mark my property...”
I sent him on his way five minutes later with a silly, dazed grin on his face and a hickey on his neck.
Giddy warmth bloomed through me as I turned to study his apartment, wondering what I was going to do for the next eight hours or so until he came back. I wasn’t sure why I actually wanted to stay, but the idea of being surrounded by his things just felt...nice. One of these days, I knew I’d have to go home and we’d have to return to normal life and try to begin our relationship from there, but for tonight, I was just going to enjoy being Asher Hart’s kept sex slave.
After dressing, because being naked for Mozart wasn’t nearly as much fun as being naked for his owner had been, I fixed myself something to eat. Then I tried to feed the squirrel some food, but I had a feeling I was about as whipped for that damn hairball as Asher was. When he refused my fruit offer, I broke out a couple peanuts. But I made him come up and take them from my palm...which the greedy little squirrel finally did.