CHAPTER XIII
NOLENS--VOLENS
[Initial V]
Valeria trembled in every limb; yet should she have remained the calmer ofthe two, inasmuch as hers could scarcely have been the agitation ofsurprise. Such a step, indeed, as that on which she now ventured, had notbeen taken without much hesitation and many changes of mind.
No woman, we believe, ever becomes utterly unsexed; and the process bywhich even the boldest lose their instinctive modesty, is gradual in theextreme. The power, too, of self-persuasion, which is so finely developedin the whole human race, loses none of its efficacy in the reasonings ofthe less logical and more impulsive half. People do not usually plungeheadlong into vice. The shades are almost imperceptible by which the loveof admiration deepens into vanity, and vanity into imprudence, andimprudence, especially if thwarted by advice and encouraged byopportunity, into crime. Nevertheless, the stone that has once been set inmotion, is pretty sure to reach the bottom of the hill at last; and "Imight" grows to "I will," and "I will," ere long, becomes "I must."Valeria's first thought had only been to look again upon an exterior thatpleased her eye; then she argued that having sent for her kinsman's slave,there could be no harm in speaking to him--indeed, it would seem strange ifshe did not; and under any circumstances, of course there was no occasionthat her colloquy should be overheard by all the maidens of herestablishment, or even by Myrrhina, who, trusty as she might be, had atongue of surpassing activity, and a love of gossip not to be controlled.
She ignored, naturally enough, that any unusual interest in the Britonshould have caused her thus to summon him into her own private andpeculiar retreat; thus to surround him with all that was dazzling to theeye, and alluring to the senses; thus to appear before him in the fullglow of her personal beauty, set off by all the accessories of dress,jewels, lights, flowers, and perfumes, that she could command. If she sentfor him, it was but natural that he should find her encircled by the usualadvantages of her station. It was no fault of hers, that these weregorgeous, picturesque, and overpowering. He might as well blame the oldFalernian for its seduction of the palate, and its confusion of the brain.Let him take care of himself! she would see him, speak to him, smile onhim, perhaps, and be _guided by circumstances_. A wise resolution thislast in all cases, and by no means difficult to keep when thecircumstances are under our own control.
Valeria, womanlike, was the first to speak, though she scarcely knew whatto say. With a very becoming air of hesitation she kept clasping andunclasping a bracelet, the fellow of the one on the couch. She wasdoubtless conscious that her round white arm looked rounder and whiter inthe process.
"I have sent for you," she began, "because I am informed I can relyimplicitly on your truth and secrecy. You are one, they tell me, who isincapable of betraying a trust. Is it not so?"
It is needless to say that Esca was already somewhat bewildered with theevents of the evening, and in a mood not to be surprised at anything.Nevertheless, he could only bow his head in acknowledgment of this tributeto his honesty, and murmur a few indistinct syllables of assent. Sheseemed to gain confidence now the ice was broken, and went on morefluently.
"I have a secret to confide--a secret that none but yourself must know.Honour, reputation, the fame of a noble family, depend on its never beingdivulged. And yet I am going to impart this secret to you. Am I not rash,foolish, and impulsive, thus to place myself in the power of one whom Iknow so little? What must you think of me? What _do_ you think of me?"
The latter question, propounded with a deepening colour and a glance thatconveyed volumes, was somewhat difficult to answer. He might have said,"Think of you? Why, that you are the most alluring mermaiden who evertempted a mariner to shipwreck on the rocks!" But what he did say wasthis--
"I have never feared man, nor deceived woman yet. I am not going to beginnow."
She was a little disappointed at the coldness of his answer; yet hercritical eye could not but approve the proud attitude he assumed, thestern look that came over his face, while he spoke. She edged a littlenearer him and went on in a softened tone.
"A woman is always somewhat lonely and helpless, whatever may be herstation, and oh! how liable we are to be deceived, and how we weep andwring our hands in vain when it is so! But I knew _you_ from the first. Ican read characters at a glance. Do you remember when I called you to mylitter in the street while you were walking with Hirpinus, the gladiator?"
Again that warm crimson in the cheek--again that speaking flash from thosedangerous eyes. Esca's head was beginning to turn, and his heart to beatwith a strange sensation of excitement and surprise.
"I am not likely to forget it," said he, with a sort of proud humility."It was such an honour as is seldom paid to one in my station."
She smiled on him more kindly than ever.
"I looked for you again," she murmured, "and saw you not. I wanted one inwhom I could confide. I have no counsellor, no champion, no friend. I saidwhat has become of him? who else will do my bidding, and keep my secret?Then Myrrhina told me that you would be here to-night."
She seemed to have something more to say that would not out. She looked atthe Briton with expectant, almost imploring eyes; but Esca was young andfrank and simple, so he waited for her to go on, and Valeria, discouragedand intimidated for the first time, proceeded in a colder and morebecoming tone.
"The packet with which I intrust you must be delivered by yourself intothe hands of Licinius. Not another creature must set eyes on it. No onemust know that you have received it from me, nor, indeed, that you havebeen here to-night. If necessary you must guard it with your life! Can Idepend upon you?"
He was beginning to feel that he could not depend upon himself muchlonger. The lights, the perfumes, the locality, the seductive beauty nearhim, so lovely and so kind, were making wild work with his senses and hisreason. Nevertheless, the whole position seemed so strange, so impossible,that he could hardly believe he was awake. There was plenty of pride inhis character, but no leavening of vanity; and, like many another gentleand inexperienced nature, he shrank from offending a woman's delicacy,with a repugnance that in some cases is exceedingly puzzling and provokingto the woman herself. So he put a strong constraint upon his feelings, andundertook the delivery of the missive with incredible simplicity andcomposure. The statue of Hermes at the door could not have looked colderand more impenetrable. She was a little at a loss. She must detain him atall hazards, for she felt that when once gone he would be gone for ever.She determined to lead him into conversation; and she chose the topicwhich, originating, perhaps, in the instinctive jealousy of a woman, wasof all others the most subversive of her plans.
"I saw you once again," she said, "but it was in the hurry and confusionof that sudden broil. It was no fault of mine that the priests committedso gross an outrage on the poor thing you rescued. I would have helped youmyself had you required assistance, but you carried her off as an eagletakes a kid. What became of the girl?"
The question was accompanied by a sharp inquisitive glance, and a forcedsmile of very perceptible annoyance wreathed her lip when she perceivedEsca's embarrassed manner and reddening brow; but she had unwittinglycalled up the Briton's good genius, and for all women on earth, save one,he was a man of marble once more.
"I placed her in safety with her father," he replied; adding, with anassumption of deep humility, "Will you please to give me your commands andlet me depart?"
Valeria was so totally unused to opposition in any of her whims orcaprices that she could scarcely believe this obvious indifference wasreal. She persuaded herself that the Briton was so overpowered by hercondescension, as to be only afraid of trespassing too far on suchunexpected kindness, and she resolved that it should be no fault of hersif he were not quickly undeceived. She sank upon the couch in her mostbewitching attitude, and, looking fondly up in his face, bade him fetchher tablets from the writing-stand. "For," said she, "I have
not yet evenprepared my communication to Licinius. Shall you be very weary of me, if Ikeep you my prisoner so long?"
Was it accident or design that entangled those rosy fingers with Esca's,as she took the tablets from his hand? Was it accident or design thatshook the hair off her face, and loosed the rich brown clusters to fallacross her glowing neck and bosom? It was surely strange that when shebent over the tablets her cheek turned pale, and her hand shook so thatshe could not form a letter on the yielding wax. She beckoned him nearerand bent her head towards him till the drooping curls trailed across hisarm.
"I cannot write," said she, in trembling accents. "Something seems tooppress me--I am faint--I can scarcely breathe--Myrrhina shall give you themissive to-morrow. In the meantime, we are alone. Esca, you will notbetray me. I can depend upon you. You are my slave, is it not so? Thisshall be your manacle!"
While she yet spoke, she took the bracelet from her arm and tried to claspit round his wrist; but the glittering fetter was too narrow for thelarge-boned Briton, and she could not make it meet. Pressing it hard withboth hands, she looked up in his face and laughed.
One responsive glance, the faintest shadow of yielding on those impassiblefeatures, and she would have told him all. But it came not. He shook thebracelet from his arm; and while he did so, she recovered herself, withthe instantaneous self-command women seem to gather from an emergency.
"It was but to try your honesty!" she said, very haughtily, and rising toher feet. "A man who is not to be tempted, even by gold, can be safelytrusted in such an affair as mine. You may go now," she added, with theslightest bend of her head. "To-morrow, if I require you, I shall takecare that you hear from me through Myrrhina."
She looked after him as he disappeared under the silken hangings of theportal, her face quivered, her bosom heaved, and she clenched both handstill the round white arms grew hard as marble. Then she bit her lip once,savagely, and so seemed to regain her accustomed composure, and the usualdignity of her bearing. Nevertheless, when the despised bracelet caughther eye, lying neglected on the couch, she dashed it fiercely down, andstamped upon it, and crushed and ground the jewel beneath her heel againstthe floor.