Read The Goat Page 25


  “What are you doing?”

  “What, goat? You need to just relax, this is how it's done.”

  “What’s done?”

  “Look around, Sparky, you have to relax.”

  His hooves stayed close to his side, his teeth readily stretching at his lip. “Are you sure they think this is a costume?”

  “Totally, look at that guy,” Frank held out his paw, showing the goat a man sitting at the bar. He was looking at Sparky and giving a thumbs up.

  “Is that good?”

  “Yeah, people do it all the time.”

  “I can’t believe they let you in.”

  Sparky looked around the room again. He was definitely getting attention, but he trusted Frank that it was no more than he should expect. Frank straightened himself as some women walked by. He waved at them.

  “I told just told them I’m a midget. The bouncer didn’t want to jeopardize his job.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Short guys, in the circus they were everywhere. One time I overheard some stories about them going to a bar, this and that. They had some trouble with the doorman, telling him they were midgets. In the end they got some big lawsuit.”

  “Lawsuit?”

  “Some guy in a wig bangs a hammer and you get rich, and the bad guys go to jail.”

  “Sounds awful.”

  “Yeah, it’s no joke.”

  “What about if you’re a talking dog?”

  “Shh, you worry too much. This is Halloween, people dress up to be something they're not. They do it every year. I’ve gotten into a bar before like this.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, but I didn’t have a credit card. This is going to be way more fun.”

  Sparky had decided to wear his overcoat, rather than go completely as a goat. Frank on the other hand was simply in his furs. He had done a swell job of walking on his hind legs; something that Sparky had not seen him do before. Apparently it was another of his circus tricks.

  A waiter came by dressed in a gorilla costume.

  “You guys look excellent. Whoa, is that real fur?” He reached out and stroked the Sparky’s face. Sparky started to pull back but caught Frank in the corner of his eye, urging him to act casual.

  “Yeah, real fur.”

  “His family is in the business.” Frank said.

  “What can I get you this evening?”

  “Do you have coffee?”

  The waiter laughed. “Taking it light tonight?”

  Frank slapped his paw down on the table. “Two shots of your best tequila!”

  “Alright that’s the way to start it out! Truly a party animal.”

  “You won’t say that when he shows you what he does with it all.”

  Frank’s face melted into a harsh glare. He waved his paw menacingly. Sparky turned back to the room, ignoring the attitude from his companion.

  “I’ll be right back.” As the waiter left the table he almost knocked over an older woman who was dressed in feathers and a mask. As she stumbled, she put her hands out on the table to catch herself, landing face to face with Frank.

  “Delite.” The scent of whiskey was heavy on her breath. Frank closed his eyes and inhaled the flavor.

  “Frank.”

  “That is, like, the best costume I have ever seen.” She straightened up, adjusting the lower half of her costume. “Mind if I sit down?”

  Frank made room at the table and the lady sat down, catching her first glimpse of Sparky. “Your friend is cute, too.”

  She pulled the mask down from her face and batted her lashes at him. Sparky's face held firm. “A little bit of a cold fish though.”

  Frank leaned up and whispered in her ear. When he backed down she extended a hand across the table. “Oh baby, no shame in here, I think it’s great! Now excuse me, I have to go take a mean piss.” She stood as abruptly as she sat down and trailed off through the thickening crowd.

  “What was that all about?” Sparky asked.

  Frank acted as if he wasn’t going to answer the question and then he finally responded. “Look, Sparks, you just don’t get it. You need to be cool in a place like this.”

  “Is it getting hot in here?”

  “No, goat. What that means is to be cool, be someone that other people want to be more like.”

  “I just want to win the costume contest, and get going.”

  “You will, but to get there we have to act like normal people,” Frank was talking in a very slow and mellow tone. “Be cool,” he said, delivering the concept.

  “Be cool,” Sparky echoed, sliding his hoof across the table slowly.

  The waiter returned, dropping the drinks on the table. “Two shots tequila, one,” he cleared his throat, “coffee.” The cup clanked against the table as the waiter set it down. “That’s twelve dollars.”

  Frank had said that everything was covered with the credit card. The man had let them in at the door after swiping it. Sparky procured the card from his pocket.

  “Is this okay?”

  “Yup, shall I leave this open for you?”

  Frank was solemnly nodding.

  “Yes, of course.”

  The waiter seized the card and trotted off.

  “That was good, very cool.”

  “Thanks, it felt, cool, I think.”

  Frank caught a sparkling hand across the room. Delite was dancing in the middle of the room, gesturing to him with a seductive wave of her hand.

  “Well, duty calls.”

  “Wait, where are you going?”

  “You should get out there and dance. It’s good to blow off some steam.”

  “You can dance?”

  Frank laughed as he stood up from the table. His full upright stance was just shy of four feet, and he was stretching. He hooked his paws around the tequila and slammed both glasses in short order. Sparky was impressed at his upright walking, it looked difficult with his legs.

  “Look out there.” Frank gestured, the faint Cuervo wind brushing Sparky’s nostrils.

  It was a mix of costumed men and women. On the dance floor people were flopping with the sound. There was no dancing, it was shaking and thrusting, but definitely not dancing. Some people were simply shaking their arms and legs and grinding together at the hips.

  “I see your point.”

  He was keeping his attention on Frank. He didn’t want the dog to get too out of control. As Sparky reclined in the booth at the back of the club waiting for the contest he started swaying with the music as he sipped his coffee.

  Chapter 67

  Sherry hated Basil.

  She should have pushed Sparky harder. She could be there now, helping him rescue his loved ones. But she had caved too easy. Her punishment was plaid pants and a pink shirt filled with snakes disguising themselves as a man.

  Basil had been displeased to learn there was no radio in the car, no way to hide the large silence on the road. It seemed that Sherry was coping with her own tune.

  “What are you singing over there?”

  “Nothing.”

  Sherry hadn’t realized she was signing anything at all until he said something.

  “I heard something coming out of your mouth, sounded like a song.”

  Basil hadn’t really paid much attention to the girl in the last hour; he simply was tired of hearing the road noise.

  “I don’t remember, must have been something on the radio,” she was so annoyed with him, even the way he spoke bothered her, a rasp in his throat. Her gaze was affixed blankly ahead.

  “We’re going to be there soon.”

  “Yeah, great. So what’s your costume?”

  “I won’t need one. I’m a cop.”

  “A cop with no badge. You’re just some guy in pink tonight.”

  Basil didn’t want to hear her voice any more. He now regretted trying to spark up further conversation. She repulsed him and it frustrated him deeply that he constantly had to argue with her just to sp
eak, “I know these places, they don’t question it. I’ll be in and out of there in no time.”

  “Right, and dragging the goat by the collar?”

  “Of course. Then we’ll get you home and I’ll see to it that he is handled with the utmost care and respect.”

  “What’s that smell?” she sniffed at the air.

  “I can’t smell anything. I think I’m coming down with something. Damn germs.”

  Sherry crossed her arms and turned to the window, the city lights of Thunder Bay ahead. The Zoo. The sign was zebra striped. They couldn’t have missed it in their sleep.

  She could hear Basil’s sneer form on his face.

  He quickly found his way off the road and into the lot. After digging around he finally found a place to park, barking instructions to Sherry that she under no circumstance should leave the car. He left without giving her time to respond.

  Basil bowled his way through the door and headed straight to the doorman.

  “Basil Lain, CBI, I need to get in.”

  “Ha, get in line chump.”

  Basil narrowed his eyes and pushed his way through the door. Two massive hands clasped on his shoulder and lifted him back outside.

  “Wait, I’m sorry. Did you need me to spell it out for you a little better?”

  “Hey, King Kong, get your mitts off. Like I said, CBI, official business, I’m going in.”

  “Tell you what, you show me some ID, we’ll talk about this. Until then, you can wait out here.”

  “I’m not standing in line.”

  “You’re right, you’re not, you should go get in it if you want in.” The bouncer waved a couple of ladies in, keeping a sharp eye on Basil.

  “Twenty bucks?”

  “I’m sorry?”

  “Twenty bucks, and you look over there for a moment.”

  “Look, pal, I don’t like you. If I liked you, sure. But you I don’t like.”

  “So I’m getting that you don’t like me.”

  “You’re quick.”

  “I’m not going away. I’ve got official business in there. If I have to call down to the local PD and bust this club wide open, I will.”

  “You do that. I’ll be here.”

  His feet stirred on the ground. Another charge was in order. Seething at the teeth, Basil readied himself. The bouncer put his hand on the shoulder of the detective.

  “My job tonight is even more special, see,” Basil could smell the acidity of his breath. “I also gets to make sure that everyone that comes in is in a costume and I don’t see no ruby slippers, Dorothy.”

  Basil stepped up to him, fierceness in his eyes.

  “Look commander steroid, I bust people like you all day long and I don’t take kindly to being intimidated.”

  He poked the man in his chest with a single finger. The bouncer pressed back against Basil’s finger. Basil winced.

  “I think you better leave before I give the real police a call about a man I accidentally put through the front window of his car.”

  Basil stepped back, resisting his immanent desire to cause a scene. Sherry walked up and brushed by Basil, flashing him a sly grin

  “Hey, can you believe that guy?” Basil put on his macho smile.

  She ignored him completely.

  Sherry walked directly to the front door and the bouncer. Basil watched as she started talking to him, but his ears couldn’t stretch far enough to hear her. The big doorman leaned down and she whispered something in his ear. Sherry turned around and waved her hand once to Basil, then entered the club.

  Basil’s mouth dropped. He dashed the door. Gunning full speed. The bouncer stepped over and pulled back his arm. Basil faked a step left and dodged the man’s swing. The second blow came from the outside and struck him in the eye.

  Chapter 68

  Frank was sitting at the same table. Empty glasses lined the surface. Under the dog’s left arm was Delite. They had been joined by numerous others in costume. The table littered with empty shot glasses.

  “You know baby, I think I have room for you at my crib.”

  Delite gave him a dirty smile. “You can’t afford to take me home; I don’t work for doggie treats!”

  Frank barked and she jumped. Delite slapped him, still wearing her grin. Frank looked at his paw, feeling a deep sting. His eyes swam back up to Delite but by the time his vision had focused again his mind had gone blank. He looked down at the table for the next shot he had lined up. All the glasses were empty.

  He steered back upward. The room was clouded so deeply in fog. There were two blue strobe lights over the dance floor, and this one man who was continually passing by dressed as a goldfish. In the corner was giant squid waving its tentacles at Frank, he had since stopped looking over. Regardless, the facts were there. The party was occurring inside a giant aquarium.

  A young lady walked up to him without a costume. He had become one of the most popular subjects at the Zoo that night and all the ladies seemed to be cashing in on him. He wasn’t surprised that one more had come by. But this one was different, he recognized her.

  “Mom!”

  Sherry in turn put her hands on her hips, the table's contents telling her the history of the evening.

  “Guess again.”

  Frank leaned forward, trying to bring the spinning images together. Sherry cycled around the room in his eyes, but her face reached into his memory. “Sally!”

  “Sherry.”

  “Who’s Sherry?” Delite sized her up.

  “Baby, she’s just a friend.”

  Delite turned her nose up and started conversing with one of the other people in the entourage.

  “Where’s Sparky?”

  Frank looked rather puzzled. He started tapping at the side of his head with the right paw.

  “Sparky who?” He held up his paw to her as she tried to speak. “Wait, don’t tell me. Big guy?”

  She nodded

  “Horns?”

  He scratched at his head while she continued to nod. “Codenamed: the Goat?”

  Sherry’s eyes closed as she took a deep breath. “That agent is here!”

  “Yeah, I know! Agent!” Frank shouted.

  Sherry turned around, faced with a man wearing a bald cap and fake painted eyebrows. He raised his glass to the mutt.

  “No, Frank. Basil!”

  The dog stopped and looked down at the table. He looked back up at her. “I think I need another drink!”

  “Where’s Sparky?”

  “Oh, well, him, well, he’s being cool!”

  Frank sorted through the glasses on the table until he finally found that one that was half full. At the same time his eyes caught a double image of the creature she was seeking.

  “There,” he raised the glass in the direction of Sparky.

  Sherry was hoping that unlike the incredibly inebriated canine, Sparky had avoided alcohol all together. But in a place like this, anything was possible. She sorted through the faces and colorful costumes that were packed in shoulder to shoulder. The one she was looking for was so obvious she hardly knew what she was looking at.

  Sparky was in the middle of the dance floor. The people had formed into a circle giving him his own space to dance. He was moving like a professional break dancer. She watched him groove to the blaring techno track. His feet circling in the air. His every move garnered large amounts of attention from the crowd. He dipped to the floor in and split and came back up. The ladies hollered in response.

  Sherry pushed her way through to the front of the line, trying to get his attention. Sparky was too caught up in his motions to see her. As the music came to a close he went back to the floor in a split and again the ladies made noise. He smiled upon seeing her familiar face and hopped over amid the dancers that were now falling back into the floor.

  “Sherry? What are you doing here?”

  “Basil is here, he wants to arrest you! He’s outside. I told the bouncer not to let him in because he’s a pervert
, but it’s just a matter of time.”

  “Good thinking,” he started walking with her off the floor, “I’ll get Frank and we’ll go.”

  “Can I come with you now?”

  “You need to get home, wait, how did you get here?”

  “I made Basil bring me.”

  “What? Here? Why? How could you do that?”

  “He said that the police would shoot you. I didn’t want that to happen,” she started to well up.

  He took a deep breath, thinking of what to say to her. The DJ knocked on the microphone before he started blaring loudly over the sound system. “All right, all right! All you animals in the Zoo! Let’s hear you get loud!”

  The individuals in the club responded with their loudest shrieks.

  “At this time we need anybody that wants to be in for the Zoo club’s fourth annual Halloween contest to come up to the stage! Don’t forget, first place is taking home five hundred in cash!”

  “I have to do this!”

  “Sparky, if Basil brings the real cops down here you’ll be hauled away.”

  “If I don’t win this contest, I might as well surrender myself. I need the money, Sherry.”

  “Sparky, we have to go!”

  “Sherry. I have to do this. I have to-”

  He turned and looked at the stage, the ranks were forming. Sherry slapped him on the shoulder.

  “Good luck.”

  Chapter 69

  Basil sat in the car, rubbing at his eye. He kept focused on the front of the club. Twenty minutes and no girl, no were-goat. He was not angry that she had betrayed him. On the contrary, it only made his conscience more settled about how he was going to handle the situation between the three of them when the time came. His only burden was how to arrange that time.

  He had mulled over the idea of contacting the local police. He knew that his department would back him on the call, but this was too personal. He couldn’t risk someone else taking credit. He needed to handle the were-goat on his own terms, in his own way.

  The bouncer had given him no choice. Threatening the doorman, just scaring him enough to get entry, was on the gray side of legal, but the were-goat couldn’t slip through his hands again. Basil had to act decisively or surrender, and he was not a man to surrender.

  He pulled the gun from the glove box. It was loaded, but he didn’t have any more bullets. As long as things went well, not even one shot would need to be fired. If anyone were to take a bullet, it would be the were-goat. He tucked it into his pants as he climbed out of his car.