“I can describe it, it’s a piece of junk.”
The car backfired as Ugbash spoke.
“There there Petunia,” calmed Idunno as he stroked the dashboard.
“PETUNIA!” exclaimed Ugbash, “what a stupid name.”
The car burbled and backfired again.
“If you don’t stop insulting her you’ll wake the sleeping policeman up,” warned Idunno.
Ugbash crossed his arms and grimaced as they continued on to the Dark Lord’s castle.
The Dark Lord’s castle loomed in the distance as it started to rain. “Just our luck,” said Ugbash, “a nice day so far and we get drenched at the end.”
“At least it’ll wash the dust off the squink,” said Idunno as he drove through the servant’s entrance. He drove up to the back kitchen door.
“Come on then, let’s get it off,” ordered Ugbash.
Wibble, Wobble, Pan Head and Chop all untied a leg as the rain siled down.
“That’s a bit of a colloquialism isn’t it Author?” noted Ugbash.
Wibble and Wobble drag/carried it into the kitchen to the chef.
Chef Thumper looked at the bedraggled goblins with their fare, “What’s this then?”
“Squink for the Dark Lord’s evening dinner,” said Ugbash as he wiped the rain from his face.
“Ahh, very good, but Lord D’ark wanted squirk not squink. Didn’t you read the first line of this story?”
“Major Bash told us ‘e wanted squink!” exclaimed Idunno.
“Well that’s as maybe, but he got it wrong. Lord D’ark wants squirk for his tea.”
“That means were for the chop,” said Chop.
“You’re lucky son,” said the chef, “the Major realised his error and hunted one himself locally. I’m roasting it now.” He looked over to the spit where there was a boar like animal, a bit like a targ, roasting.
“Whew,” whewed Ugbash, “that was close.”
“I’ll be able to cook the squink for your tea if you wish,” said Thumper as he thumped Ugbash in the arm.
Ugbash grimaced again, “Ok then, as long as we can have ice cream afterwards.”
“And I don’t have to clean the urinals,” said Pan Head, “at least until tomorrow.”
So they all waited for an hour and a half then ate roast squink with chives and ice cream for afters.
Stephen Jennison-Smith © Copyright 2011
You can buy The Crying Pennant (The first in the Arth Series), the Sitting Duck (2nd) and Up and Away (3rd) by Stephen Jennison-Smith from Amazon by going to this link-
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