It sucked but this was true.
Diandra kept talking. “And clearly, my dear, it cannot have escaped your notice last night… or just now… that your falling ill and his responsibility for that troubled him deeply. Seerim and I were dragged from our bed, the healer, The Horde does not ride and he visits you during the day when he normally attends his warriors.”
It sucked but this was true too.
“Okay, I’ll give him that,” I allowed and her lips tipped up. “But yesterday, he didn’t speak to me for hours and –”
“Did you starve?” Diandra cut me off to ask.
“No,” I answered shortly.
“Go without drink?”
I looked away and muttered, “No.”
“My queen, please, look at me,” she called and I did. “You were correct in what you said to him. In here, he is your Lahn. But out there, he is the Dax and the Dax is the mightiest of all warriors.”
“But –” I started to protest and she lifted a hand.
“There will be times, out there, when he shows you kindness, affection. But there will be times when he will not. I am sorry this distresses you, my dear, and I will tutor you now so, in future, when it happens, you will understand. A warrior does not ever show weakness and whether you feel it is right or it is wrong, these soft feelings are considered a weakness. Therefore, most times outside this cham, he will be who he is and if you are lucky, which it is clear you are, in this cham he will be who you need him to be. Your role as his queen but also simply as his bride is to understand that and find a way to live with it.”
I made no reply because I had none. She was making sense which also sucked.
She went on, clearly thinking I hadn’t yet gotten it. “There have been warriors who have fallen victim to their wives’ charms and have acted out there,” she pointed to the cham flaps, “in ways a warrior not only does not respect but they deride.” She leaned slightly toward me and whispered, “This, as I’m sure you can imagine, is not received well.”
I bet it wasn’t.
Diandra continued. “There are even warriors who stop acting on their own decisions and move to carry out the merest whim of their wife. This is even less well-received.”
I could imagine.
She carried on. “But this does not happen often. It is extremely rare and it is extremely rare because of how it is received and what befalls the warrior who succumbs to his bride’s charms. But there is another reason and that is simply because these men are warriors, that doesn’t happen often because they are who they are and they’re trained to be that way from the age of five. They don’t know how to be any other way.”
Fuck, that made sense too.
“Dahksahna Circe,” Diandra continued, “I urge you to listen and understand this. It will make your adjustment to the Korwahk and to your new husband go much faster and it will make you far more content.”
I bit my lip.
Then I nodded.
She smiled her approval.
Then I pulled in an unsteady breath and decided I was here, this was happening, I wasn’t leaving, I needed to find a way to cope until that happened so I might as well know it all.
“Okay, Diandra, can I ask you to explain more?” I requested and she nodded as she inclined her head.
“Certainly, it would be my honor to explain anything to you because you are my queen,” her eyes warmed, “and it would be my pleasure because you are my friend and I want you to be content.”
Yep, it was official. I definitely liked Diandra.
“Thanks,” I whispered then lamely threw out a hand. “And thanks for… everything. You’ve been very kind and I don’t know what I would have done if –”
She waved her hand and interrupted, “Let’s not speak of it. Just know that, too, was my pleasure.”
I smiled at her, reached out and took her hand to give it a squeeze.
She squeezed mine back.
Then I let her go, leaned back and she prompted, “You wanted me to explain something?”
I nodded. “It’s the, um… last night, late… the celebration…” I trailed off, she lifted her chin encouragingly and I went on, “There were women there, um… dancing and, uh… such with the warriors and they were not –”
I stopped talking when Diandra’s face changed. Her face was expressive but the look she was giving me I could not read.
“Xacto,” she said the word like she’d prefer not to say it.
“Xacto?” I asked and she nodded.
“Xacto,” she repeated.
“Uh –” I began.
“Warrior slaves,” she stated and I blinked.
“Warrior slaves?” I repeated and she nodded. “What –?” I began and she sighed.
“Suh Tunak, or The Horde, as a collective, own slaves. These are not owned by one warrior and they have no duties to anyone but the warriors as a Horde. They are always young and attractive and when they lose these traits, they are sold onto families who can utilize their services in different ways.”
I didn’t want to ask because I already pretty much knew. But I asked.
“And what are their duties?”
She answered swiftly like she wanted to get it over with. “They bathe the warriors, wash their hair and plait it or arrange it as the warrior sees fit. They paint them for battle or ceremonies. They massage the warriors after battle, campaigns or strenuous training. They also are available at all times to receive the attentions of the warriors should that warrior feel the need.”
I stared at her.
She continued just as swiftly. “They also have duties to the young warriors. They erm… teach them things that will… erm… eventually, in future, benefit their wives greatly should the young warriors be good learners.”
Oh my God. Lahn was good in our bed because those women taught him how to be so.
“This is not a bad thing, is it my queen?” Diandra asked then clarified, “The, erm… last bit, I mean.”
I didn’t answer because my heart started racing as my mind pulled up memories of Lahn dosing with water but he didn’t wash his hair, yet it was never dirty or greasy and it had been arranged in various styles. And he had paint on yesterday, even his back which no way he could have done. And just now when he’d come in, he had no paint and his hair was no longer loose and flowing. It was pulled back in a tail that started at the base of his neck and his hair was contained at intervals down his back with slim, gold bands.
“Is Lahn –?” I started.
“Undoubtedly, my dear,” she answered swiftly.
I sat up straight and Ghost lifted her head but I didn’t notice.
One of those women was washing my husband’s hair?
Oh no, I did not think so.
“Dahksahna Circe, it would be best –”
My eyes cut to her. “Do you think Lahn is… is… has he…? Does he fuck them?”
She shook her head, scrunched her eyes closed then opened them and asked, “Fuck them?”
“Has he slept with them, had sex with them, had intercourse, relations,” I snapped.
Her face got soft with understanding. “Oh, my queen, I see this disturbs you but yes, again, I’m sorry to say it is their way.”
It was their way.
It was their way.
Last night, they were having their way right on the dance floor. And I knew some of them having their way with Xacto had to have wives at home in their chams.
I left him last night. Lahn was there at least an hour longer than me, likely more.
I left him last night!
Then he came to our tent and fucked me! Maybe after he had his fun with them!
“Now?” I shrieked, Ghost mewed and jerked in surprise then read my mood and jumped off the bed.
“Now?” Diandra asked, her body tense.
“Is he fucking them now? I mean, since we were married?”
She shook her head, leaned forward and grabbed my hand. “I do not know,” she said quietly.
She didn’t know. Which could be yes or it could be no. Which could mean yes.
I yanked my hand from hers and looked away.
“My queen –” she started.
“If you say it is their way, I swear, Diandra, I swear… I’ll scream,” I snapped at the tent wall.
She was silent.
I deep breathed.
Then I made up my mind and looked at her.
“I must ask of you an important favor and I will warn you that it will be one you won’t want to grant. I am your queen, I get that, but I will tell you and mean it that you have every right to refuse what I ask and there will be no hard feelings,” I declared.
“Erm… all right,” she mumbled hesitantly.
“I want you here tonight to translate what I have to say when my husband gets home.”
She instantly whispered, “Oh dear.”
Oh dear was right!
“You can say no,” I reminded her and she held my eyes.
Then she leaned forward and grabbed my hand. “I advise you as your friend, Circe –”
I shook my head and squeezed her hand hard. “I get that, Diandra, I get it. Trust me, I do. Now, will you be here tonight when Lahn gets home?”
She studied me. Then she squeezed my hand and said softly, “Yes, Diandra, as your friend, I will always be by your side when you need me.”
Tears instantly filled my eyes and one spilled over before I looked away.
I let her go and dashed at it with the back of my hand before I whispered to the wall, “Thank you.”
Diandra didn’t respond.
Then I pulled in breath through my nose, looked at her, smiled a fake smile and suggested, “Why don’t we have some lunch?”
*Translation: “Today you rest, tomorrow we see if you’re healthy. The Horde does not ride if my Circe is not well.”
Chapter Twelve
Wifely Duties
Night had fallen; I was pacing the cham while Diandra sat at the table sipping from her third chalice of wine.
She was sucking back liquid courage.
I didn’t need liquid courage; I was coasting high on adrenalin and emotion.
I did not allow myself to consider why the possibility that Lahn was having sex with other women and allowing them to bathe him and do his fucking hair upset me so much.
It just did.
A lot.
A lot, a lot.
And like when I saw something I wanted badly, I got irrational and emotional when I got upset. The difference was, when I got upset, I got extremely irrational and emotional and this, unfortunately frequently, mingled with a whole lot of stupid.
So I didn’t question it in this world just like I never did in my own.
I just let that tidal wave sweep me wherever I got swept.
Which was what I was going to do the minute Lahn got home.
I was wearing my apple green nightgown and my long hair was pulled up in a messy knot wrapped with a piece of ribbon that I’d tied into it. I was too wound up to have it in my face and on my burned shoulders, it was driving me mad, so up it went.
“I wish you would sit, my queen, you’re making me nervous,” Diandra mumbled and then sucked back more wine.
I stopped, turned to her and started babbling. “I can’t sit. I’m wound up. And, by the way, I wish you’d stop calling me your queen. I know I am to the people out there but you’re just my friend. No one but us knows what it means anyway, all my friends from home call me Circe mainly because that’s my name and I’m not a queen there but even if I was… not that that could ever happen but still… I wouldn’t let them. And you’re my friend. So, I’d like you just to call me Circe.”
She gave me a crooked smile that looked alarmingly tipsy and I wondered with some concern if Diandra was a lightweight.
“I’d love that… Circe,” then she giggled.
Oh shit.
The cham flaps slapped open, I turned to them and then stopped breathing when Lahn bent low and entered.
Here we go.
His eyes cut through Diandra, across the bed and hit me standing at the far end of it. Then his face went soft. Then he took a step toward me.
I lifted my hand swiftly and said, “Stop.”
Diandra translated.
Lahn stopped and his brows drew together in a way that didn’t loosen me up one bit, his gaze sliced to Diandra then back to me.
“We need to talk,” I told him in a soft voice. “It’s important. I asked Diandra to translate for us. Please, Lahn, will you talk with me?”
Diandra interpreted and Lahn stared at me with that scary look for awhile then he jerked his chin up, crossed his arms on his chest and cleared his expression.
“I think that means yes, Circe,” Diandra translated his look.
“I think I got that, honey,” I said to her, Lahn’s brows snapped right back together again and he looked over at Diandra.
“Lahn,” I called and his eyes came back to me. “Did you have sex with one of the Xacto last night?”
His face darkened ominously when I said the word “Xacto” and it darkened more ominously when Diandra translated what I said.
I held my breath.
He scowled at me.
I felt my heart start to hurt.
He continued to scowl at me.
My heart squeezed.
“Me,” he finally grunted.
“No,” Diandra translated a word I actually knew and I felt my chest release.
“Okay, baby,” I whispered to Lahn, watched his eyes flare briefly when I did but the scowl didn’t shift. “Now,” I went on carefully and quietly, “I know I’m living in your world, I get that. But I want to explain something about my world, something I want you to get and I want you to get what it means to me. Will you listen?”
Diandra translated. When she finished, Lahn kept scowling but jerked his chin up.
“Shahsha,” I whispered, got nothing but continued heat from his eyes and then forged ahead. “In my world, men are faithful to their wives. They don’t cheat on them, they don’t have sex with other women or do anything with them, sexually or not. They don’t allow other women to touch them, bathe them, um… etcetera.”
Diandra translated and her translation became tentative as the raw, brutal energy Lahn normally exuded ratcheted up to the danger zone.
“I get that you do, here, I mean, the warriors do and all that,” I said swiftly, Diandra translating with me, “but in my world we don’t. We so don’t, if a man does that to his wife, she has the right to leave him.”
This was a mistake. A bad one.
I knew this when his body tensed so fiercely, it seemed to grow and expand and I heard the growl escape his throat.
No words, just a growl.
“Circe, my dear, I didn’t know… you shouldn’t… warrior wives do not ever –” Diandra started but Lahn spoke over her and his words were clipped and seriously fucking pissed off.
When he was done talking, Diandra translated.
“You will not leave.”
“I wasn’t saying I was going to, just –”
Diandra spoke with me and Lahn spoke over her and she translated but she didn’t have to. He simply repeated his pissed off words.
“You will not leave.”
“I wasn’t –”
He kept talking and Diandra interpreted.
“You will not call the wife of Seerim after me.”
I blinked at this sudden change of subject as well as his words which I did not get.
“What?”
Diandra translated, Lahn spoke and then she spoke again.
“You will not call Seerim’s woman ‘honey’. That is mine.”
Oh man.
“It’s an endearment,” I explained. “In my world we say it to –”
“It is mine. You will not use it with anyone but me.”
I studied him and decided this was not going very well.
So I decided to agree in orde
r to try to soften him up for the hard part.
“Okay,” I whispered.
“Okay,” he bit off.
Then we started talking with Diandra translating.
“We need to talk about the Xacto,” I told him.
“I will not discuss the Xacto with my wife,” he told me.
“Um… this is important to me,” I explained.
“This matters not. I will not discuss it.”
Oh man. Now I was getting pissed.
“But Lahn, I’m telling you this important to me!” I snapped.
“It is not your place,” he replied.
“I’m your wife!” I shot back, my voice rising.
“And as my wife, it is not your place,” he returned.
“That’s crazy!” I cried.
“It is not,” he retorted.
“Doesn’t it matter to you that this is important to me?” I asked.
“No,” he fired back, saying it in my language.
Oh yeah. Now I was pissed.
“I beg to differ, big guy,” I retorted. “And I will tell you right here, right now, right in this cham,” I pointed to my feet then at him, “you will not let them touch you.” I jerked my finger at him again. “You will not let them bathe you.” Again with the finger. “You will not let them massage you, touch your gorgeous fucking hair, your fantastic fucking body or anything to do with you because that, baby,” I swept him top to toe with an up and down sweep of my hand then jerked a thumb at myself and leaned in, “is all mine.”
“Vayoo ansha,” he ordered, uncrossing his arms and planting his hands on his hips and I retorted before Diandra could translate because I knew what that meant.
“I will not come there until you promise me you won’t have anything to do with the Xacto. You want someone to bathe you,” I jerked my thumb at myself again, “your wife will do it. If you need someone to braid your hair,” another thumb jerk, “I will do it. You need someone to massage the muscles in your body,” this time I tossed my head, “you guessed it, big guy, that will be me too. And you need someone to fuck you, suck your cock and make you come,” another jerk of my thumb, “that’s me too and only me. Do you get me?”