I held his eyes. I did not stare. I did not glare. I waited for this to be done.
Sometimes, it took longer than others. Today, I had a feeling he was in for the long haul.
Then he did something else new. He rolled me to my back and loomed over me, but close, and his hand moved to my big, swollen belly, its warmth penetrating the silk.
“He comes soon,” he murmured.
This was true. It was getting close. Any day now.
And Lahn, I also knew, had given up on his golden girl. I knew this because he told me one time in the dead of night when my kid kicked me so hard he woke me. And Lahn, who had his hand on my belly, woke too. It sucked but I had to admit when I saw his eyes in the moonlight shining bright with wonder, his spirit exposed for me to see, his delight at feeling his child move for the first time not even close to hidden, I liked it. All of it. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
And he had murmured, pressing his hand gently into my belly, “That is a warrior, my golden doe.”
I figured he wasn’t wrong. The kid could freaking kick and he was a mover. It was like he was swimming in there, flips, breaststroke, the whole enchilada. And he was peeved he didn’t have more room to move and told me so frequently by kicking the crap out of me.
Lahn took me out of my thoughts when he informed me, “I know you don’t wish it but I will be in the bath with you and the healer.”
I sighed again.
I’d guessed that.
Lahn had, by the way, sometime in the last five months decided to believe me. He was looking forward to this kid again if him sleeping with his hand on my belly or coming up behind me whenever he came upon me standing, wrapping his arms around me and putting both hands on it were anything to go by.
The good news was, I was to have the healer with me. The bad news was, I was giving birth in the bathing pool. I was thinking this would be okay, normally, but the water came from a hot spring and I wasn’t big on my kid being boiled alive before it took its first breath.
But I said not a word.
And anyway, maybe I was being dramatic about the water. It wasn’t that hot. I bathed in it.
I didn’t reply to Lahn’s comment and it was his turn to sigh.
“Your friends, I am told, come daily to see you, Circe,” he told me quietly and my eyes slid away. “Linas, shalah,” he whispered and my eyes went back.
I’d been avoiding the girls. I hadn’t seen any of them since I returned. Not even Diandra. This was rude but I was in a state. I didn’t want to be here and I didn’t intend to stay here therefore I didn’t want to continue to build our friendships because I’d missed them enough the first time.
I was going to go home.
How I was going to do that, I didn’t know because now I really had no way of getting home unless I could get out from under Lahn’s thumb and somehow find another witch who didn’t mind being out of it for a day or two, losing all of her power for a decade and sending me home.
I did not think this kind of search would prove fruitful.
But I had hope. Every day, I hoped my father was working with that witch and Korwahn would melt and I’d be back home. Then I was finding a protection spell to root me there. I didn’t care if that meant I had to tattoo weird shit on every inch of my body. I was never leaving.
“They are missing you, my queen,” Lahn kept talking and I focused again on him. “They are concerned for you, the child you carry. They wish to see you.”
“I don’t wish to see them,” I said quietly.
His eyes got soft. “Circe –”
I shook my head. “I can’t build strong ties here. My father knows of a witch at home who can take me back. I’m sure she’s gearing up. I’ll be leaving soon.”
Wrong thing to say. His face got hard and his hand slid down my belly, up my side and then his arm tightened, locking my other side to his front as his face got close.
“You will not leave again,” he growled.
“I’m afraid you don’t have any choice in that, Lahn.”
“I know at this time this will upset you, kah Lahnahsahna, but I do. Did you not think when I crushed your spirit that, when I got you back, I would not know you would again try to leave? The spell cast to guide you to your true home also tethered you to this world, Circe, our world. You’re never going back.”
I stared at him.
He wasn’t serious.
Was he?
He kept talking. “It also anchors you to me so even if you were to try to escape me in this world, I would sense you and could seek you out. You couldn’t cloak yourself. You’d always somehow be visible to me.”
I kept staring at him.
Seriously, he could not freaking be serious!
“You didn’t,” I breathed.
“I did,” he returned.
“You didn’t,” I repeated on a breath and his face got closer.
“I… fucking… did,” he growled. “You promised never to leave me and you left me. I’ve seen to it that will not fucking happen again.”
I knew my lips had parted and I felt the sting of tears in my nose.
Then I whispered, “I can’t believe you did that.”
“You gave me you of your free will, you are mine. And I gave you me, I am yours. I will do anything to keep you, my queen, believe that.”
“That’s like… stalker psycho.” I was still whispering.
“I have no idea what that means and I do not care. It is the way it is. And Circe,” his face got closer, his hand sliding up my side, over my chest, up my neck to cup my jaw where his thumb swept my cheekbone as he finished softly, “I will resurrect your spirit inside you. I will stop at nothing to do it. It will shine for me again. You can believe that too.”
Before I could stop him, his thumb swept over my lips, locked around my jaw and he held my head steady as his dipped down and his lips touched mine.
My belly clenched.
Then he lifted his head and looked deep in my eyes before his thumb swept back over my lips, he lifted up and kissed my forehead then he rolled off the bed and stalked across the room.
I got up on my elbows to watch him open the door and saw Twinka was there holding some bath cloths.
“Her warrior wives visit, you do not send them away. You let them in. If they do not, you send one of her girls to go get them. This is a command from their king and if one of them disobeys, any of them, wife or slave, they answer to me. Am I understood?” Lahn asked firmly.
Twinka looked at me and smiled huge.
“Meena, kah Dax,” she muttered, as she would because she knew this would piss me off and/or upset me and she was all for anything that did that.
“Dohno,” Lahn muttered and then he was gone.
I collapsed back on the bed and stared at the ceiling.
Twinka hummed happily as she took the cloths to the bathroom-type room.
* * * * *
I sat on a lounge chair on the roof, stared into the distance at the sun sparking off the gold on the Avenue of the Gods and I pulled the intricately knit, loose-woven shawl closer around me while wondering if there was some troop of slaves who went out every day and polished that gold. It always sparkled even mostly surrounded by sand and dust.
So I figured there was.
Ghost, as always since I got home, was at my side, now lying on her front, jaws to paws.
I stroked her absently and unfortunately my thoughts drifted from statue slaves to other matters that I didn’t want to think about but couldn’t stop myself.
When I’d been gone, Lahn had had a busy five months. Although I hadn’t seen my posse, I could not avoid my girls and they had told me all they knew.
Firstly, Lahn, Suh Tunak and the Keenhak warriors had ridden on Maroo as planned. Maroo had had their grisly message that vengeance would be sought by the Dax so they had planned for the invasion but they had no clue they’d also be facing the additional challenge by neighboring Keenhak.
Gaa
l, with bright eyes and scary excitement at telling her macabre tales, informed me that Suh Tunak and Keenhak had trounced Maroo and, in telling me this, she unfortunately went into some detail. Vengeance was sought and found and Maroo would not soon forget the lesson they learned.
“Not,” Gaal leaned forward, eyes wide and joyous, “for generations.”
If her stories were anything to go by, I believed this to be true. In a serious way.
Apparently, Lahn and his boys didn’t fuck around exacting vengeance.
Yikes.
This took all of about three months and Suh Tunak rode back into Korwahn bearing a shitload of Maroo slaves and booty.
The people of Korwahn rejoiced. As these riches rained down on them they felt it was irrefutable proof The Golden Dynasty had begun.
Lahn and Suh Tunak had shared in a week’s worth of celebrations for their victory and then they road off in their parties to wreak havoc or patrol, this including the Daxshee packing up and going on their way.
My disappearance and my not travelling with the Daxshee had been explained by the fierce storm that had struck the city prior to me going back home. Jacanda told me that word was spread that the storm was a result of me having a very bad turn and developments in my pregnancy that night meant I had to keep to my bed throughout it.
This was accepted readily.
But my girls and my girl posse knew I had disappeared because my girls had been ordered to search for me in the house the day I disappeared and my posse had been told by their husbands. They had been sworn to silence about this information (with threats of their tongues being cut out which would do the trick for anyone). But Beetus explained that singly, in pairs, in trios or sometimes all of my girl posse visited every day prior to the Daxshee leaving and them going with it and they did this in order to ascertain if there was news.
This was nice.
Also, the people of Korwahn or travelers who had heard the news of my enforced rest who were passing through Korwahn put flowers on our doorstep in hopes of me safely delivering the heir to The Golden Dynasty.
This was nice too.
The Daxshee drifted until it was time to return to Korwahn to settle in for the winter and for the Dax to be close to his Dahksahna for her delivery.
I had decided that Korwahk was likely south of the equator in this world because winter for them was summer for Seattle. Their winters were as different as everything in my world. The days did dawn later and dusk came earlier but only a little bit. And there were some gray days and occasional sprinkling rain that did not happen due to my moods (or I didn’t think so), not many, maybe one a week. The air was slightly chillier, more so on the gray days. And the evenings were definitely chillier. Lahn and I now had a soft, fluffy, brightly colored woolen blanket covering the silk quilt of our bed which worked wonders keeping the heat in and with Lahn’s warm body thrown in, I never caught a chill.
When Lahn decided to believe me, I did not know and obviously my girls couldn’t know. That said, his going off to war and then travelling with the Daxshee pretty much told that tale.
In other words, it was business as usual for Dax Lahn, disappeared queen or not.
But Jacanda had shared that every single day, all day and all night, while I was away, one of the girls was assigned to sit in my room in case I returned there (only Packa went with Lahn and the Daxshee) and there were four of my guard assigned to the house at all times. A witch had also moved in. This was so the girls could alert the guard and, if I returned, they would physically detain me, the witch magically detaining me, and orders were given that Lahn was immediately informed (or as immediately as a messenger could ride to wherever he was).
Whether this was because Lahn was taking no chances, especially when I might be carrying his true child and not a monster, or because he believed me and wanted me back, I had no clue.
And I didn’t care.
I was back to needing to find a way to live in a world I wanted no part of. And I was back to Lahn giving me no choice about my own life.
What I wasn’t back to was finding it in me to give much of a shit.
All the fight had left me and I had no energy to find it.
So what has been has been and what will be was what I would make of it.
I just needed to figure out what I was going to make of it.
I felt a weird pain tighten in my belly and my brows drew together as my hand went there.
That was new.
I looked down at my stomach. I now wore sarongs wrapped around my body and tied at the back of my neck like Twinka did. Jacanda told me that this was unusual for a pregnant woman in Korwahk, they wore their sarongs and tops as normal, their bellies protruding over their belts. I could dig that for the Korwahk. They were the Korwahk; they did crazy shit all the time. But no way in hell was I wandering around with my giganto stomach on display. I had managed to contain a bunch of extra weight being gained but my stomach was enormous. The kid had to be huge.
“What are you up to now, kah teenkah tunakan?” I whispered as I slid my hand to wrap around the bottom of the enormous swell and hold him close.
Ghost’s head came up and she looked to the top of the stairs. I followed her gaze and then I held my breath when I saw Diandra alight at the top. Then I let it out in a gush when I saw The Eunuch follow her.
My gaze shot back to Diandra and I kept my silence. Her eyes were warm as they travelled over me but her face was expressionless.
I got that.
I had been rude, insufferably and unforgivably rude to a good friend who had stood by my side through some serious thick and some anorexic-style thin. I was going to have to find the words to explain it to her and what was good, and made me feel guilt at the same time, was that I knew she would understand and forgive me.
Something I wasn’t sure I deserved.
But now, the presence of The Eunuch, with Diandra of all people, made me keep my silence, slap up my guard and brace.
His eyes slid over my face then he walked to the table and chairs. Grabbing two, he picked them up, brought them over and set them at the foot of my lounge chair. He held the back for Diandra until she sat and arranged her two layered sarongs over her legs (good idea that, two matching sarongs to ward out the chill, I’d have to remember that) and pull her own shawl closer around her upper body that was not covered in a bandeau or short halter top but what looked like a short-sleeved, tight fitting t-shirt made of thin weave, soft wool that covered her to her belly.
Only when Diandra had settled did The Eunuch sit facing me.
Both their eyes were on me.
I said not a word.
Finally, The Eunuch spoke in Korwahk. “I trust you are well, my true, golden queen?”
I blinked.
His voice was quiet, there was a thread of concern in it and he’d called me his true, golden queen. Not just his queen.
Hmm.
“I am fine,” I replied.
He nodded his head once and informed me, “Our king speaks true. Your beauty blooms magnificently having grown heavy with his child.”
Really, I wished Lahn would quit being sweet, not only to me but now hearing he was wandering around complimenting me. It was getting on my nerves.
“Shahsha,” I muttered, my eyes slid to Diandra to see her head tipped slightly to the side, concern she wasn’t quite able to hide now on her features.
Shit.
“It has come to my attention you do not allow your women to attend you,” The Eunuch stated and I looked back at him.
“I have been… not myself for some time,” I replied.
He inclined his head.
Then he said softly, “You grieve your lost world.”
I blinked at him.
He knew.
That was a surprise.
Well, whatever. If Lahn was stupid enough to trust this guy, so be it. It wasn’t any of my business.
I decided not to answer.
“There is only one person in
Korwahk who calls me Karrim,” he stated bizarrely, changing the subject and I spoke not a word but didn’t take my eyes from him. “My king,” he finished quietly and I braced again.
Ghost shifted so her sleek bulk rested against my lounge chair, a show of support.
My hand went from my belly back to her fur and I stroked.
What I didn’t do was speak.
“After…” he paused a moment before going on, “what happened to me, it was not my manhood I missed.” He waited and when I made no reply (though I had to say I was pretty surprised at this news), he went on, “It was my Horde. Since I could remember, my father spoke to me about my future as warrior and since I could move my limbs at my command, he started training me to be warrior. He was warrior. It was in his blood, passed down to me. There was no day more beautiful to me than when the Dax pressed his palm to the earth and at five years of age I took my knee for the first time in service to The Horde.”
Wow. Interesting.
He kept speaking. “Therefore, there was no day worse for me than when I was cast out of it.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered because, really, I needed to be cautious with this guy but I felt I had to say something mainly because his voice shook with emotion I could not believe was fake.
He inclined his head again. “So, I would hope you could imagine my joy when the new Dax sought me out and requested my service to return to my brethren. I was not able to fight, my strength was not the same. But I could be of service using other skills. This new Dax was the mightiest I ever saw but mightier because he used more than his muscle to command. He knew the strength of any warrior was not in their steel but elsewhere. And he allowed me to use that, a power I could wield which was still at my command and strong as ever, to provide service to my nation. He asked for me not only to provide service for the Hunt, the selections and the Daxshee but to be his eyes and ears and to act for him in matters of crucial import. And this I was, I am, I did and I do, serving my Horde proudly but more, serving the mighty Dax who begins The Golden Dynasty.”
I nodded when he stopped talking and he continued.
“It is my duty to know all and see all. It is my duty to protect Suh Tunak, my Dax and doing thus, my Korwahk. And therefore, after she was claimed, it was my duty to watch and then seek out my queen, a foreigner, and put her to the test.” He paused then smiled a small smile. “She asked me my name, a name only her husband calls me and even though our ways were strange to her, she held firm and true to her husband.” His eyes held mine and he whispered, “She passed the test.”