CHAPTER XX. EXTRACTS FROM "OUR MAGAZINE"
EDITORIAL
As will be seen there is no Honour Roll in this number. Even Felicityhas thought all the beautiful thoughts that can be thought andcannot think any more. Peter has never got drunk but, under existingcircumstances, that is not greatly to his credit. As for our writtenresolutions they have silently disappeared from our chamber walls andthe place that once knew them knows them no more for ever. (PETER,PERPLEXEDLY: "Seems to me I've heard something like that before.") It isvery sad but we will all make some new resolutions next year and maybeit will be easier to keep those.
THE STORY OF THE LOCKET THAT WAS BAKED
This was a story my Aunt Jane told me about her granma when she was alittle girl. Its funny to think of baking a locket, but it wasn't toeat. She was my great granma but Ill call her granma for short. Ithappened when she was ten years old. Of course she wasent anybodysgranma then. Her father and mother and her were living in a newsettlement called Brinsley. Their nearest naybor was a mile away. Oneday her Aunt Hannah from Charlottetown came and wanted her ma to govisiting with her. At first granma's ma thought she couldent go becauseit was baking day and granma's pa was away. But granma wasent afraid tostay alone and she knew how to bake the bread so she made her ma goand her Aunt Hannah took off the handsome gold locket and chain she waswaring round her neck and hung it on granmas and told her she could wareit all day. Granma was awful pleased for she had never had any jewelry.She did all the chores and then was needing the loaves when she lookedup and saw a tramp coming in and he was an awful villenus looking tramp.He dident even pass the time of day but just set down on a chair. Poorgranma was awful fritened and she turned her back on him and went onneeding the loaf cold and trembling--that is, granma was trembling notthe loaf. She was worried about the locket. She didn't know how shecould hide it for to get anywhere she would have to turn round and passhim.
All of a suddent she thought she would hide it in the bread. She put herhand up and pulled it hard and quick and broke the fastening and neededit right into the loaf. Then she put the loaf in the pan and set it inthe oven.
The tramp hadent seen her do it and then he asked for something to eat.Granma got him up a meal and when hed et it he began prowling about thekitchen looking into everything and opening the cubbord doors. Then hewent into granma's mas room and turned the buro drawers and trunk insideout and threw the things in them all about. All he found was a pursewith a dollar in it and he swore about it and took it and went away.When granma was sure he was really gone she broke down and cried. Sheforgot all about the bread and it burned as black as coal. When shesmelled it burning granma run and pulled it out. She was awful scaredthe locket was spoiled but she sawed open the loaf and it was there safeand sound. When her Aunt Hannah came back she said granma deserved thelocket because she had saved it so clever and she gave it to her andgrandma always wore it and was very proud of it. And granma used to saythat was the only loaf of bread she ever spoiled in her life.
PETER CRAIG.
(FELICITY: "Those stories are all very well but they are only truestories. It's easy enough to write true stories. I thought Peter wasappointed fiction editor, but he has never written any fiction since thepaper started. That's not MY idea of a fiction editor. He ought to makeup stories out of his own head." PETER, SPUNKILY: "I can do it, too,and I will next time. And it ain't easier to write true stories. It'sharder, 'cause you have to stick to facts." FELICITY: "I don't believeyou could make up a story." PETER: "I'll show you!")
MY MOST EXCITING ADVENTURE
It's my turn to write it but I'm SO NERVOUS. My worst adventure happenedTWO YEARS AGO. It was an awful one. I had a striped ribbon, stripedbrown and yellow and I LOST IT. I was very sorry for it was a handsomeribbon and all the girls in school were jealous of it. (FELICITY: "Iwasn't. I didn't think it one bit pretty." CECILY: "Hush!") I huntedeverywhere but I couldn't find it. Next day was Sunday and I was runninginto the house by the front door and I saw SOMETHING LYING ON THE STEPand I thought it was my ribbon and I made a grab at it as I passed. But,oh, it was A SNAKE! Oh, I can never describe how I felt when I felt thatawful thing WRIGGLING IN MY HAND. I let it go and SCREAMED AND SCREAMED,and ma was cross at me for yelling on Sunday and made me read sevenchapters in the Bible but I didn't mind that much after what I had comethrough. I would rather DIE than have SUCH AN EXPERIENCE again.
SARA RAY.
TO FELICITY ON HER BERTHDAY
Oh maiden fair with golden hair And brow of purest white, Id fight for you I'd die for you Let me be your faithful knite.
This is your berthday blessed day You are thirteen years old today May you be happy and fair as you are now Until your hair is gray.
I gaze into your shining eyes, They are so blue and bright. Id fight for you Id die for you Let me be your faithful knite.
A FRIEND.
(DAN: "Great snakes, who got that up? I'll bet it was Peter." FELICITY,WITH DIGNITY: "Well, it's more than YOU could do. YOU couldn't writepoetry to save your life." PETER, ASIDE TO BEVERLEY: "She seems quitepleased. I'm glad I wrote it, but it was awful hard work.")
PERSONALS
Patrick Grayfur, Esq., caused his friends great anxiety recently by aprolonged absence from home. When found he was very thin but is now asfat and conceited as ever.
On Wednesday, June 20th, Miss Olivia King was united in the bonds ofholy matrimony to Dr. Robert Seton of Halifax. Miss Sara Stanley wasbridesmaid, and Mr. Andrew Seton attended the groom. The young couplereceived many handsome presents. Rev. Mr. Marwood tied the nuptial knot.After the ceremony a substantial repast was served in Mrs. Alex King'swell-known style and the happy couple left for their new home inNova Scotia. Their many friends join in wishing them a very happy andprosperous journey through life.
A precious one from us is gone, A voice we loved is stilled. A place is vacant in our home That never can be filled.
(THE STORY GIRL: "Goodness, that sounds as if somebody had died. I'veseen that verse on a tombstone. WHO wrote that notice?" FELICITY,WHO WROTE IT: "I think it is just as appropriate to a wedding as to afuneral!")
Our school concert came off on the evening of June 29th and was a greatsuccess. We made ten dollars for the library.
We regret to chronicle that Miss Sara Ray met with a misfortune whiletaking some violent exercise with a wasps' nest recently. The moral isthat it is better not to monkey with a wasps' nest, new or old.
Mrs. C. B. Hawkins of Baywater is keeping house for Uncle Roger. Sheis a very large woman. Uncle Roger says he has to spend too much timewalking round her, but otherwise she is an excellent housekeeper.
It is reported that the school is haunted. A mysterious light was seenthere at two o'clock one night recently.
(THE STORY GIRL AND I EXCHANGE KNOWING SMILES BEHIND THE OTHERS' BACKS.)
Dan and Felicity had a fight last Tuesday--not with fists but withtongues. Dan came off best--as usual. (FELICITY LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY.)
Mr. Newton Craig of Markdale returned home recently after a somewhatprolonged visit in foreign parts. We are glad to welcome Mr. Craig backto our midst.
Billy Robinson was hurt last week. A cow kicked him. I suppose it iswicked of us to feel glad but we all do feel glad because of the way hecheated us with the magic seed last summer.
On April 1st Uncle Roger sent Mr. Peter Craig to the manse to borrow thebiography of Adam's grandfather. Mr. Marwood told Peter he didn't thinkAdam had any grandfather and advised him to go home and look at thealmanac. (PETER, SOURLY: "Your Uncle Roger thought he was pretty smart."FELICITY, SEVERELY: "Uncle Roger IS smart. It was so easy to fool you.")
A pair of blue birds have built a nest in a hole in the sides of thewell, just under the ferns. We can see the eggs when we look down. Theyare so
cunning.
Felix sat down on a tack one day in May. Felix thinks house-cleaning isgreat foolishness.
ADS.
LOST--STOLEN--OR STRAYED--A HEART. Finder will be rewarded by returningsame to Cyrus E. Brisk, Desk 7, Carlisle School.
LOST OR STOLEN. A piece of brown hair about three inches long and oneinch thick. Finder will kindly return to Miss Cecily King, Desk 15,Carlisle School.
(CECILY: "Cyrus keeps my hair in his Bible for a bookmark, so Flossietells me. He says he means to keep it always for a remembrance thoughhe has given up hope." DAN: "I'll steal it out of his Bible in SundaySchool." CECILY, BLUSHING: "Oh, let him keep it if it is any comfort tohim. Besides, it isn't right to steal." DAN: "He stole it." CECILY: "ButMr. Marwood says two wrongs never make a right.")
HOUSEHOLD DEPARTMENT
Aunt Olivia's wedding cake was said to be the best one of its kind evertasted in Carlisle. Me and mother made it.
ANXIOUS INQUIRER:--It is not advisable to curl your hair with mucilageif you can get anything else. Quince juice is better. (CECILY, BITTERLY:"I suppose I'll never hear the last of that mucilage." DAN: "Ask her whoused tooth-powder to raise biscuits?")
We had rhubarb pies for the first time this spring last week. They werefine but hard on the cream.
FELICITY KING.
ETIQUETTE DEPARTMENT
PATIENT SUFFERER:--What will I do when a young man steals a lock of myhair? Ans.:--Grow some more.
No, F-l-x, a little caterpillar is not called a kittenpillar. (FELIX,ENRAGED: "I never asked that! Dan just makes that etiquette columnup from beginning to end!" FELICITY: "I don't see what that kind of aquestion has to do with etiquette anyhow.")
Yes, P-t-r, it is quite proper to treat a lady friend to ice cream twiceif you can afford it.
No, F-l-c-t-y, it is not ladylike to chew tobacco. Better stick tospruce gum.
DAN KING.
FASHION NOTES
Frilled muslin aprons will be much worn this summer. It is no longerfashionable to trim them with knitted lace. One pocket is consideredsmart.
Clam-shells are fashionable keepsakes. You write your name and the dateinside one and your friend writes hers in the other and you exchange.
CECILY KING.
FUNNY PARAGRAPHS
MR. PERKINS:--"Peter, name the large islands of the world."
PETER:--"The Island, the British Isles and Australia." (PETER,DEFIANTLY: "Well, Mr. Perkins said he guessed I was right, so youneedn't laugh.")
This is a true joke and really happened. It's about Mr. Samuel Claskagain. He was once leading a prayer meeting and he looked through thewindow and saw the constable driving up and guessed he was after himbecause he was always in debt. So in a great hurry he called on BrotherCasey to lead in prayer and while Brother Casey was praying with hiseyes shut and everybody else had their heads bowed Mr. Clask got out ofthe window and got away before the constable got in because he didn'tlike to come in till the prayer was finished.
Uncle Roger says it was a smart trick on Mr. Clask's part, but I don'tthink there was much religion about it.
FELIX KING.