He nearly smiled. “Just like you did last night.”
“Only the pier I jumped from that night was much higher,” I said. “Michael ran back to the beach, thinking he could get to her more easily that way.”
“You’re a jumper. He’s a thinker.”
“That really sums us up perfectly,” I said with a laugh. “Remember I told you he’s a game developer?”
“Uh-huh.”
“He told me he’s been working on a game about grief for parents who lose their children. It really upset me at first, but now I don’t know. I’m ready to listen to him about it.”
Travis rested his head against the pillow and looked at the ceiling. “Would the game work if it’s a mother who died instead of a kid?” he asked, and he looked absolutely serious, as though he really wanted to know. As though he really needed that sort of game.
I got up and walked over to hug him, my arms around both of them, and when I straightened up again, I heard the curtain open and turned to see a beautiful, grown-up version of the girl in the photograph. I stepped away, because I was clearly invisible to her. Her gaze was on the little girl in Travis’s arms. She pressed her hand to her mouth.
“Bella,” Travis said softly to his daughter. He jostled her a little and she lifted her head an inch or so from his chest. She rubbed her eyes, a cranky, exhausted frown on her face. “Bella,” he said again. “Are you awake, baby? I want you to meet someone.”
Robin stood about a foot away from the side of the bed. Travis reached out to take her hand and I could see her pale knuckles as she held on to him, steadying herself.
“Bella?” she said softly.
Bella looked up at her, messy, damp hair falling in her face, and Travis brushed it out of her eyes. She looked from Robin to the picture on the tray and back again.
“This is your mommy, Bell,” Travis said.
“The one in the picture?” Bella asked.
“Yes, baby.” Travis smiled.
“I’m so glad to finally meet you, Bella.” Robin bent close to her, their faces only inches apart, and I heard the hunger in her voice. I knew how much she wanted to touch her. To hold her. I was so, so glad she was getting that chance. I took a step backward to lower myself to the stool again. I didn’t think I could stand up one more second.
Bella reached one small hand toward Robin’s face. She touched her cheek. Ran her fingers over her brown hair. Robin held still, biting her lip.
“You’re pretty,” Bella said.
Robin laughed. “Can I hug you?” she asked.
Bella reached out her free arm and wrapped it around her mother, and I watched the three of them close themselves off from the rest of the world, locked in an embrace that had been too long in coming.
Right as they drew away from one another, the police officer poked his head inside the cubicle and looked at me. “You ready to go to the inn, miss?” he asked.
I got to my feet and slung my damp purse over my shoulder. “Yes,” I said.
The officer looked at Travis. “Doctor says you’re good to go,” he said.
“I know,” Travis said. “I’m just waiting for you guys to—”
“Like I said—” the officer gave him a cryptic look “—you’re good to go.”
Travis opened his mouth to speak, but Robin pressed a finger to his lips. “Don’t argue,” she said softly.
Strings had been pulled somewhere, somehow, and I was glad. We said our goodbyes and I walked with the officer out to his patrol car. The night was still dark and I looked at my watch as we passed under a streetlamp. At least another hour before Michael could get here. I pictured the room at the inn, the one we’d thought was so magical when we’d stayed in it back when our marriage was new and our lives filled with hope. I was nervous about seeing him now, worried that something he said would set me off. That I wasn’t quite finished with my anger and he wasn’t quite finished with his irritation over my need to talk about our daughter. But I had the feeling that this would be our first step toward one another again. We would have to see how much each of us was willing to go the distance.
Maybe, just maybe, there’d be magic in that room again tonight.
Epilogue
Travis
One Year Later
I like living a normal life—you know, one of those lives where nothing dramatic happens. Where you’re part of a little family: dad, mom, child. You have a roof over your head and food on the table and your biggest problem is deciding whether to send your kid to kindergarten when she’s just turned five or give her another year of preschool. Robin and I opted for the second choice, since Bella’s only had six months of preschool to begin with. Her teacher said she was doing really well, but another year would let her really shine in kindergarten. We decided to wait and let her shine. Which is why she’s in the backseat of Moby Dick right now, swinging her legs and kicking my seat. I’ll drop her off at preschool. It’s my turn.
“You’re kicking my seat, Bell,” I say, as I turn out of the Brier Creek apartment complex and onto the main road.
“I can’t help it!” she says. “I’m too excited!”
“It’s just dress rehearsal today,” I remind her. I don’t think she understands the difference between the dress rehearsal and the actual play her class is putting on tomorrow.
“I know,” she says. “And tomorrow you and Mommy come see it.”
“You bet.” Robin will have to skip one of her classes tomorrow, but she won’t mind. She doesn’t want to miss a second of Bella’s life. She feels like she’s already missed too many.
“And you know who else is going to be there?” I ask.
“Who?”
“Miss Erin and Mr. Mike.”
She sucks in her breath. “And the baby?” she asks.
“The baby’s not ready to be born yet,” I say. “A few more months.” Actually, by the time Erin and Michael’s baby is born, Robin, Bella and I will be living in Wilmington.
It was funny how things turned out. How all of us jumped around like game pieces. After the whole mess in Beaufort, Erin moved back into her house with Michael, but she still had months left on her lease on the apartment and she insisted Bella and I stay there until I got my act together. Robin played out the charade of being engaged to Dale Hendricks—now Mayor Dale Hendricks—and then she shocked everyone in Beaufort by “chickening out” of the wedding. She took the heat, making it sound like it was all her doing. “I suddenly realized how young I was,” she told the press. “Dale is so wonderful and I was afraid of rushing into something I’d later regret, and that wouldn’t be fair to him.” She vanished from Beaufort and changed her name to Brown so quickly that no one had been able to track her down. At least not yet. She was going to be another one of those mysterious Beaufort legends, like the girl in the rum keg and Blackbeard the Pirate. The Hendricks family—except Alissa—was glad to see her go, along with the secrets she knew about them. I know Robin misses Alissa and Hannah, but that clean break had been the only way. I’m doing everything I can to make her new life worth what she had to give up.
We’ve had some ups and downs this past year, Robin and me. Her father had a point about the whole social class thing, especially since the Hendricks family had her in their clutches for two years. Sometimes I feel beneath her. She never treats me that way—except that she wishes I wouldn’t call people “dude.” Most of the time, though, we get along great.
“Do you have preschool today, too, Daddy?” Bella asks as I pull into the driveway of her school.
“College, Bell,” I remind her with a laugh. I’m beginning to wonder if she makes that mistake on purpose because it cracks me up, it’s so cute. “And yes. I have a class later today, so I’ll be working hard just like you.” I hand her the lunch I packed and demand a kiss, which she’s been forgetting lately because she’s so psyched about getting to her classroom. “Bye, baby,” I say. “Have fun.” I watch her fly up the sidewalk to her teacher, who gives me a wave from th
e doorway. Her teacher last year told us Bella drew a lot of guns, which had me worried, but this year she’s back into princesses and animals. She’s the most resilient kid.
I pull out of the parking lot and make a right, still smiling at Bella’s comment about preschool. Robin and I are both in college and I’m working part-time. Robin has classes in Raleigh, but I’m doing this distance-learning program at Cape Fear Community College, getting some of the required courses out of the way so when we move to Wilmington I can start working toward a degree in marine biology. It’s been a while since I was a student, but I think I’m more ready for school at twenty-three than I was at seventeen. I’m doing pretty well.
At first, I hadn’t wanted to pay for school with the money Robin inherited from her father. I didn’t want anything from that man, but Robin convinced me I was letting my pride get in the way. She said he would have wanted his granddaughter to have two well-educated parents. Maybe, but I know for a fact he didn’t want one of them to be me. I have to admit, once I got over the humiliation of having to rely on his money for school, it gave me a perverse kind of pleasure. I wouldn’t tell Robin, but I sort of liked the thought of him rolling over in his grave.
I park in the lot closest to JumpStart and walk inside, where Nando’s arranging the pastries in the glass display.
“Dude!” he says, and he tosses me my blue apron. I pull it over my head and tie the straps as I walk behind the counter. I remember that day I ran out of JumpStart, heading for Beaufort, never expecting to set foot in the place again. Now here I am, making coffees and cappuccinos and roasted peanut chocolate Bavarian lattes. I try not to wonder if I could have had this job a year ago. While I was searching my butt off for construction work, could I have been making a little cash ten feet from where I was sitting with Bella? But then, I wouldn’t be with Robin and I don’t even want to think about that. Who would’ve guessed the nightmare of my life would turn out to be the best thing that could’ve happened?
A guy walks into JumpStart with two little girls, maybe four and five. I’ve seen him in here before and I like how he treats his kids, helping them order, telling them to say please when they ask for their muffins. I always stare into his eyes, trying to figure out what’s going on in his life. He probably thinks I’m pretty weird. It’s just that I’ve learned that somebody’s appearance doesn’t always match what’s going on inside him. You can’t look at a guy’s face and see his demons.
I make his coffee, then take two muffins out of the display case and slide them into separate bags for the kids. It reminds me of how I’d packed Bella’s cookies and grapes when I made her lunch that morning.
“You’re the best dad,” Robin had said as I added a juice box to Bella’s lunch sack. How she could say that after what I’d put Bella through, I had no idea, but I’ve learned not to argue.
I hand the coffee to the guy and the muffins to the little girls and watch them head over to the chair and sofas were Bella and I used to hang out. The man unpeels the paper from one of the muffins for his daughter. I wonder if he’ll ever be tested the way I was. If he’d make better choices than I’d made. Most likely, he would. But I’m done beating myself up about it. I have to focus on how good my life is today.
So, I’m a barista and a student and someday, with luck and a lot of work, I’ll be a marine biologist. Today, though, all I really care about is being a good father.
* * * * *
Acknowledgments
There are so many people who helped The Good Father travel the road to publication. As always, I’m grateful to my fellow authors and dear friends from the Weymouth Seven: Mary Kay Andrews, Margaret Maron, Katy Munger, Sarah Shaber, Alexandra Sokoloff and Brenda Witchger. I don’t know what I’d do without your brainstorming skills and friendship.
Thank you to my agent, Susan Ginsburg, who quite simply rocks in every way, and her assistant, Stacy Testa, who shares Susan’s positive attitude and always brightens my day with her emails.
My smart and savvy editor, Miranda Indrigo, can look at a manuscript and instantly zero in on what works and what doesn’t. Thank you for making my books the best they can be, Miranda. I’m grateful to all the people at Mira Books who help behind the scenes: Michelle Renaud, Melanie Dulos, Emily Ohanjanians, Maureen Stead, Stacy Widdrington, Ana Luxton, Diane Mosher, Alana Burke, Katharine Fournier, Katherine Orr, Craig Swinwood, Loriana Sacilotto and Margaret Marbury. In the UK Mira office, I’m particularly grateful to Kimberley Young, Jenny Hutton and the rest of the team who have worked so hard to make my books a success with United Kingdom and commonwealth readers.
My assistants at various points in the writing—Denise Gibbs, Eleanor Smith and Lindsey LeBret—tracked down sources for research, kept my office running smoothly and helped me polish my internet presence. Thanks, you three!
Other people who helped by offering suggestions as I struggled with a plot element or by providing bits of necessary research include Jessica Tocco, Jennifer Thompson, Julie Kibler, Sylvia Gum and Deborah Dunn. Kelly English was forced to listen to me talk about the story for three days straight while we were stranded together during a storm on Topsail Island. Thanks for both your tolerance and your ideas, Kelly!
Thank you Facebook friend Colleen Albert for coming up with the name of the coffee shop, JumpStart. Kelli Creelman of Rocking Chair Books shared her experiences growing up in Beaufort, North Carolina, and Dave DuBuisson, owner of the Pecan Tree Inn Bed and Breakfast in Beaufort, taught me a bit about the running of a B and B.
A couple of three- and four-year-olds were immensely helpful in the creation of Bella. Thank you Claire and Garrett, as well as your moms, my stepdaughters Caitlin Campbell and Brittany Walls.
As always, thank you John Pagliuca for being my first reader, brainstormer, in-house photographer and computer guru, as well as for your unflagging support and belief in me.
Questions for Discussion
The Good Father: Travis, Erin and Robin. Whose story is it? To which character did you feel most connected?
One of the central themes of The Good Father is “What makes a good parent?” Discuss how that theme plays out in the story with regard to each of the three central characters.
Another theme in the book is that of desperation and how it can drive people to do things they would never otherwise think of doing. Could you feel Travis’s mounting desperation? What events ultimately led to the choices he made? What other avenues were open to him?
Why do you think the author chose to open the story with a prologue in which Travis left Bella with Erin? Did the knowledge that this scene was coming increase or decrease the tension for you as you read?
Which character do you think had the greatest personal growth during the story and why?
Many people told Travis that he should allow Bella to be adopted. Do you think he made the right decision? Why or why not?
Travis had an excellent relationship with his own father. How do you think that played into his relationship with Bella? How did it impact his feelings about Robin’s father?
The relationship between Travis, Bella and Erin developed quickly in the coffee shop. Why do you think that happened? What was in that relationship for each of them, both at first as well as later?
Why do you think the author introduced the character of the barista, Nando, to the story? What purpose(s) did he serve?
What would you have done in Erin’s position if Travis left Bella with you? How might Erin have reacted differently if she hadn’t recently lost Carolyn? How did the fact that Erin lost a child play into the way she related to Bella?
Erin not only lost her daughter, but her friends and her husband as well—a husband she’d clearly loved and with whom she’d had a positive relationship. Are there examples you can think of from real life in which people grieve so differently that it damages their relationship?
Carolyn’s room nearly becomes a character in the story. Do you think this was intentional on the author’s part and how did it im
pact your experience as you read?
When Erin realizes she’s beginning to heal from the loss of her daughter, she worries “Does progress mean I was leaving Carolyn behind?” Can you understand that emotion? How has Erin’s fear of leaving Carolyn behind impacted her life?
Travis tells Erin that she’s a “jumper” while Michael is a “thinker.” Do you think that’s true, and if so, how do we see those labels being played out during the story? Discuss the differences and similarities between Erin’s reliance on her support group and Michael’s creation of the game, Losing Carolyn?
Robin was taught to avoid conflict at all costs or risk her health. How did this shape the person she became? Discuss the ways this element of her upbringing led her straight into the arms of Dale and the Hendricks family. How did her need for “peace and calm” both help and hurt her?
Robin allowed herself to buy into her father’s suggestion that her baby “never happened.” Discuss her feelings toward that baby from the time she learned she was pregnant until she learned Travis had custody of her.
Robin was drawn to Alissa for a number of reasons. Explore the experiences from Robin’s past and present that led to her friendship with her future sister-in-law.
Do you think Alissa knew that Dale was paying Will off? Could there be more to Alissa and Will’s relationship than we’ve learned through Robin’s eyes?
Savannah is a complex character. Explore her motives in the different parts of the story.
How do you feel about the fact that Travis didn’t face charges for his role in the heist? Do you think he should have received some sort of punishment, and if so, what form should that have taken? How would that have impacted his life and the lives of Robin and Bella?
A Conversation with Diane Chamberlain
Q. What inspired the story for The Good Father?
A. Nearly every morning, I take my work-in-progress to a local coffee shop and spend a few hours working there. One day, a man and little girl walked into the shop. I had many of the same thoughts Erin had when she first spotted Travis and Bella: What are a man and little girl doing in here on a weekday? Is he her father? Could he have kidnapped her or be abusing her? The little girl was absolutely adorable. My novelist’s mind got to work right away, wondering what I would do if the man asked me to watch the girl while he went out to his car and never returned.