When I returned, I found Zach leaned back against mirror, staring at his hands. I held a rolled up towel out to him. “Want to bite down on this?” I asked, holding back a smile.
He rolled his eyes. “I think I’m man enough to handle it.”
I threaded the needle before bringing my hand to Zach’s eyebrow. He flinched as the needle entered his skin. “Hold still,” I instructed.
“Easy for you to say,” he grumbled.
With a few steady strokes, I sealed the cut. “All finished.”
Zach turned to the mirror and surveyed my handiwork. He grinned. “Not bad. You sure are a woman of many talents.”
“Thanks.” I turned my attention then to his chest where fresh blood oozed through the fabric of his shirt. I reached out and touched above his heart. “I think you’ve got another cut. You better take off your shirt so I can take a look.”
He winked at me. “I thought you’d never ask.”
I rolled my eyes but laughed in spite of myself.
At the sight of his busted skin, I shook my head. “That must’ve been some ring Bruce was wearing.”
“It felt more like brass knuckles,” Zach mumbled. Then he raised his head and peered at me. “Wait, how did you know it was a ring? Did I tell you that?”
My breath hitched. “Uh—no, you didn’t tell me. I mean, I just assumed it had to be a ring to make those cuts,” I quickly replied. I then focused my attention back on doing the stitches. When I finished, I smiled up at him. “There. All done.”
“What would do I without you?” Zach asked.
“I suppose you’d be lost.”
“I think so.”
Without another word, he hopped down off the counter, and we walked out into the bedroom. “I guess I better get back home.” I felt his hesitation and the fear he would never admit to feeling.
“Why don’t you stay here with me?” I asked.
“With you? I thought we were just friends,” he teased, obviously trying to lighten the tension.
“That’s not what I meant. You can sleep on the couch or with Rafe and Elijah.”
“I’d rather sleep with you,” he said, his voice low and husky. I threw a pillow at him. “Easy Rambo, don’t forget the stiches!” he laughed.
I sighed. “Just get the pillow. I’ll go get you a blanket.”
“All right,” he said.
“You’re welcome.”
He followed me downstairs, where I grabbed up some sheets and a blanket, and we went into the living room. As I made up the fold out couch, an uneasy feeling crept over me. Zach’s closeness, plus the fact that he was half naked, had me on edge. “Want me to get you a shirt?”
“No, I’m fine.”
“Well, goodnight then,” I said.
“What? No goodnight kiss?”
“Do you ever stop?”
“Never,” he laughed.
I snorted in exasperation. Zach pulled me to him, crushing me against his chest. I was surprised he didn’t wince. When I wriggled away, he smiled at me. “Thanks for letting me stay.”
“Anytime,” I replied, softly.
He stared intently at me, and the smile faded a little from his face. “Cassie, I-”
Something about the way he said my name made my heartbeat accelerate. “What is it?” I asked, desperate to know what he was going to say.
The intensity of his stare made the space between us feel very small. He leaned forward, brushing his hand across my cheek. I started to feel further and further away from myself…or my angelic self. It was the most human I’d felt in my entire time on earth.
Zach brought his lips to mine. Blood raced through my body, and in that instant, I’d never felt so alive and so very unangelic. This was the kiss the human side of me had dreamed of—a very different one from the one Chaz had bestowed on me. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around him, not like a friend, but a girlfriend. My mind screamed at me to stop, to remember Lauren, and to most of all, remember what I really was.
But instead, I pressed against Zach, which caused him to jerk back.
Heat flooded my cheeks. “You were right to pull away. I can’t believe we just did that.”
A sheepish grin curled on his lips. “Actually, it was the stitches.”
“I thought it was because we had crossed the line.”
“I couldn’t help it. I don’t think I could have gone another day without kissing you again, Cassie. I like you too much.”
The world tilted and spun as my breath caught in my throat. I might have slid to the floor if he hadn’t been holding me. I didn’t know what to say or do. There was a part of me that did love Zach…innocently, and that part didn’t want to hurt him or lead him on. But then there was another part, be it real or part of the demon’s kiss, that desperately wanted him. I drew in a deep breath and prepared myself to give him the words he wanted to hear…and maybe the words I wanted to say.
“I like you too,” I whispered.
“But we’re supposed to be just friends, right?”
“Yes.” I started coming back to myself more and more and realizing the enormity of what had just happened. I imagined somewhere Lucius was getting a big power surge and a kick out of what I had done.”
Zach’s hands wound through my hair. “So what are we going to do about that?”
“Nothing! What just happened was so wrong!” I countered. At his wounded expression, I replied, “I do care about you. Don’t you see that friends care about you?”
A low growl erupted in his throat. “I don’t care about you like a friend. I like you like a girlfriend, like a lover, like a soul mate!”
His words sent me spinning like I was on an out of control Merry Go Round. I fought to keep my balance. “No, I won’t! I can’t—” I began to protest.
He shook his head at me. “Yes, you can, and you do. I know you like me too. More than a friend. I see it in your eyes. Stop denying how you feel about me!”
It seemed like an eternity passed as we stood staring at each other. I jumped a mile when someone cleared his throat behind us.
It was Elijah. I should have flushed in embarrassment, but Elijah did instead. “Uh, hi, g-guys,” he stammered.
“Hi, Elijah,” Zach said.
“Zach’s staying over tonight,” I quickly explained.
Elijah nodded. “I’ll just be heading upstairs now.”
When he was gone, I shoved Zach away. “We are not doing this. Have you forgotten you have a girlfriend?”
He grimaced. “No, I haven’t.”
“Lauren loves you. And me? I’m supposed to be her friend. How do you think she would feel if she knew you were saying this to me?”
“I get it. I’m scum. She deserves way better than an asshole who has cheated on her,” Zach replied, as he flopped down on the couch.
Neither one of us said anything. Finally, I cleared my throat. “Look, it’s been a crazy, emotional night for you. This doesn’t mean anything has changed between us. I love you, and you love me…as friends, just friends. It has to stay that way so we don’t hurt Lauren. And I know you do care about her, Zach.”
He nodded. “Yeah, I do. And you’re right.” He looked up at me. “I promise I won’t say or try to do anything else out of line, okay?”
“Me too.”
The unspeakable and unmentionables hung heavy in the air between us—the longing, desire, and guilt. I might have talked a good game about only being his friend, but with the flickering emotions of the Demon’s Kiss, I wasn’t completely honest. “Goodnight,” I said, before turning to head upstairs.
“Goodnight.”
When I got to my room, I didn’t go to bed. Oh no, bed was the farthest thing from my mind. I was too wound up to sleep. Plus, I wanted to be able to explain Zach’s presence to Gabriel when he got in.
After midnight, I crept downstairs and stood in the doorway to the den, listening to Zach’s soft snoring. I tip-toed back and sat down on the landing of the stairs to wait for Gab
riel. When he opened the front door, he jumped back in surprise. “What’s up, Cass?”
“Zach’s here,” I whispered, motioning to the den.
“Oh?” Gabriel asked, in a hushed tone.
I nodded. “He’s sleeping on the couch. I hope that’s okay.”
Gabriel raised his eyebrows. “As long as you’re staying safely upstairs, it should be fine.”
“I will,” I answered.
“Rough evening at home?”
“Yeah, he had to come between them again.”
“That’s got to be tough,” Gabriel said.
“It is.”
Gabriel cleared his throat. “I want you to know something, Cassie. At first, I wasn’t keen on the way you were handling your assignment. But now that I see Zach in church and the change that’s come over him, I’m really proud of you.”
I stared at him in disbelief. “You are?”
“Yes, I am. I may have been on earth for one hundred and nine years, but I learn something new each and every day.”
Something about his words caused the dam holding up my emotions to implode. Tears came pouring out of my eyes and ran down my cheeks. Doubling over, I began sobbing so hard my body shook. “Cassie, shh, you have to stop, or you’ll wake up Zach,” Gabriel hissed in a loud whisper.
But that only made me cry harder. Gabriel’s arms came around me, and suddenly, he whisked up the stairs and into my room. He sat me down on my bed. When I finally dared myself to look up at him, he was staring open mouthed at me. “Can you tell me what I could have possibly said that just drove you over the edge the way it did?”
“It’s so awful, Gabriel,” I moaned.
He squatted down beside me. “Well, I don’t know how to fix it unless you tell me.”
“I’ve screwed it all up!”
“Cassie, you know I don’t like that kind of language,” Gabriel cautioned.
I snorted. “Trust me, there’s no other word at this moment in time to fully illustrate what I’ve done.”
Gabriel eased himself onto the floor. “Fine. Tell me how you have messed things up so badly.”
“I’m supposed to be Lauren’s friend, right? I’m supposed to be helping her, right?”
Gabriel nodded.
“And I’m supposed to be guiding and protecting Zach too, right?”
Once again Gabriel nodded. I could tell his patience was growing thin after a long night at the hospital.
I sucked in a deep breath. “I’ve totally scr-messed them both over! Tonight, Zach told me he loved me. He knows it’s wrong, and he’s supposed to be with Lauren, but he said he can’t help the way he feels.”
“Well, I don’t—”
I cut him off before he could continue. “And worst of all, I led him on. I kissed him back when he kissed me, and then I think I led him to believe I cared about him as much as he cared about me.” I shook my head. “I know you’re going to say it’s all part of the Demon’s Kiss, and I really don’t harbor feelings for Zach, but I don’t know. They feel pretty strong to me!” Tears poured off my cheeks, and I felt like a snot-nosed mess. “Don’t you see, Gabriel, I’m going to end up ruining both of their lives. Lauren will be so devastated that Zach doesn’t truly love her that it’ll break her heart, and she’ll hate me. And then Zach is going to hate me when he realizes how much he’s been jerked around!”
After all the word vomit had spewed out, I glanced over at Gabriel. His face was a mixture of amusement and worry. “Cassie, I don’t know exactly what to tell you. For one so young in the ways of the world, I can’t imagine such a predicament. I certainly wasn’t faced with something so difficult on my first assignment, but the world was a different place then.”
“So what am I supposed to do?”
Gabriel took my hand in his. “Neither Zach nor Lauren is going to collapse or go off the deep end because of your actions tonight. Lauren is already making great strides in her self-esteem. All you have to do is make sure you keep letting Zach know how you truly feel, which is that you only care for him only as a friend.” At my look of disbelief, he said, “And that is really how you feel for him. By the roller coaster of emotions you’re on tonight, it appears that Lucius did succeed in some ways.” At his words, I began to sob harder.
“Cassie, it’s not a lost cause,” Gabriel argued. “Zach will be fine, and Lauren will never have to know. You just have to find some ways to work at it.”
Wiping my eyes on my sleeve, I asked, “Are you sure?”
He smiled. “I’m as sure as I can possibly be about this. I know it seems like something insurmountable to you, but really compared to what you’ve already faced, it isn’t. It’s totally fixable.”
I nodded. “Okay, if you think so.”
“I really do.” He rose up and started for the door. “And Cassie.” I turned to look at him. “This little set back doesn’t mean I’m any less proud of you, or that I take back what I said earlier.”
A lump formed in my throat. “Thanks, Gabriel. That means a lot to me.
“Goodnight,” he said, pulling the door behind him.
Exhausted, I fell onto the bed, trying desperately to quiet my raging mind so I could sleep.
Chapter Twenty-Seven: ELIJAH
The moment of truth had come—the day I had to accompany Abby to the doctor. I tried pushing the nagging feeling of nervousness away as I followed her into a brightly lit office. The moment the door closed behind me, I knew I’d made a serious mistake. From bright, pastel colored chairs and couches, women in various stages of pregnancy looked expectantly up at me. My face flooded with color. I may have spent seventy years working with children, but I had never, ever experienced pregnancy.
Abby noticed my hesitation because she grabbed my hand, pulling me along behind her. At the glass partition, a receptionist peered expectantly at us. “I’m Abby Thomas, and I have an appointment with Dr. Field.”
The receptionist nodded. She opened the window and shoved a clipboard into Abby’s hands. “Fill these out, and we’ll be right with you.”
Abby nodded. Since I was still out of my element and painfully uncomfortable, I let her lead me over to a mint green couch. As she started filling out the paperwork, I glanced over at the assortment of magazines filling the table. My throat closed as titles like Breast Feeding Blunders and You and Your Uterus screamed up at me. I stiffened.
Abby threw me an amused look. “Are you all right?” she whispered.
Unable to speak, I merely nodded my head. I decided it would be best to stare straight ahead until we were called back. Fortunately, I didn’t have to wait long. I followed Abby out of the waiting area and back through the maze of examining rooms.
A nurse stopped Abby in front of some scales. “Let’s get your weight, dear.”
“Wonderful,” she grumbled, as she stepped onto the scales. Her eyes widened at the numbers. “Oh my lord, I’ve already gained seven pounds!”
The nurse chuckled. “Oh honey, that’s nothing.”
She led Abby back to an examining room. Just like before, as soon as the door shut behind me, I knew I’d made a serious mistake. Lining the walls like explicit wallpaper were diagrams and drawings one might use to teach sex education. Abby pushed me over the threshold, but I kept my eyes on the floor.
I knew Abby was on the examining table when I heard the white paper crackling underneath her. Unsure of where I should sit, I glanced around before finally leaning up against the counter. I ignored the model of the female reproductive system behind me as I raised my eyes to the heavens and prayed to make it through the next thirty minutes unscathed. I stared down with mock fascination at my shoes, feeling the floor was the safest place to look.
“Let’s get your blood pressure,” the nurse said, putting a cuff around Abby’s arm. Once she had the results, she scribbled them on Abby’s chart. “I’m going to need a urine sample, and then you need to undress from the waist down.”
My gaze snapped up from the floor. The room spun arou
nd like I was on a crazy amusement park ride. As I felt lightheaded, my arms flung out. I desperately tried bracing myself, but my hands slammed back against the counter, knocking the contents to the floor. Horror stricken, I watched as a plastic ovary flew across the room, thudding to a stop against the door.
The nurse raised her eyebrows in surprise while Abby giggled behind one of her hands.
“Are you all right?” the nurse asked.
My throat was so tight I couldn’t find my voice, so I nodded weakly.
“Son, you better get a hold of yourself, or you’ll never make it in the delivery room,” she chuckled. She started for the door and turned back to Abby. “Dr. Field will be with you in a just a few minutes.”
When the door closed, I exhaled loudly. Abby hopped down from the table and grinned at me. “I’m sorry this is so embarrassing for you, Elijah. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”
“That’s okay. I’m sorry for being so ridiculous. It’s just…”
She shook her head. “You’re doing fine. Most guys wouldn’t go within a five mile radius of an OB/GYN. My mom said when she was pregnant, she had to threaten my dad within an inch of his life to go to the doctor with her.”
Abby went into a bathroom off of the examining room to change. I took slow, deliberate breaths. There was a voice far off in my mind that I tried desperately to tune out. It was the one who was insanely curious about what Abby might look like as she disrobed. No, no, no! Shaking my head furiously from side to side, I couldn’t bear thinking about her like that! Damn, these male hormones and how they seemed to rage and roar at the most inopportune times.
She emerged with the sheet wrapped tightly around her waist. “Don’t worry, I’m decent,” she giggled, as she brushed past me. I bit my lip. She was too close. She and her practical nakedness were too close to me. The room seemed to become an inferno. When she sat back on the table, she swung her legs back and forth. I knew it must be part of a nervous tic, but it also meant her legs, visible up to her thighs, came insanely close to me.
Get a grip, Elijah!
Thankfully, Dr. Field burst into the room, bringing with her a fragrant smell of lavender. “Hello,” she said, shaking Abby’s hand. Dark haired and dark eyed, she was a kind looking, middle-aged doctor. “So this is your first official appointment?”