Chapter Eighteen
Mabra System, Fazaal Sector, Gaashox Quadrant
Grogaan was concerned, not about his own safety, but at what damage had been inflicted on his ship. It was a stark reminder how vulnerable he was, despite his skills and the capabilities of his ship. He approached the landing bay and carefully lowered the ship using the thrusters, monitoring the system readouts continuously. When he felt the ship settle on the undercarriage, he looked up and was surprised to see Admiral Yurgat standing several metres from the bay, his face creased with worry. He shut down the main systems, downloaded the flight data, and climbed out.
“Admiral Yurgat. What can I do for you?”
“Squadron Leader Learman, when I heard you didn’t land at the squadron hangar because of ship damage, I thought I’d better come here to see you.”
“That’s considerate of you, Admiral,” he said as he checked over the rear of his ship, “but why show me special consideration?”
The Admiral frowned, having expected the young man to face him while speaking. “Believe it or not, Learman, I was genuinely concerned for your safety. You and your friends have proved your capabilities without losing a single fighter yet again. Your father would have been proud of you, and . . . if you want it, there’s a position for your squadron in the MDF. We would, however, appreciate you continuing the upgrading of the fleet’s fighter wing first.”
Grogaan stopped what he was doing and faced the Admiral. “That’s generous of you, Admiral, but it’s something we would have to spend time deliberating over.”
Yurgat was surprised, having thought they would be keen to join the MDF. “It’s something you should seriously consider taking up. We need good pilots like you and your friends.”
Grogaan nodded without utterance.
Admiral Yurgat studied his face for a few moments and saw the resemblance to Ruebern Learman. He was his father in so many ways, only better, and worse. Yurgat shook his head gently, turned and walked away.
Grogaan returned to inspecting the damage, and knew it would take the best part of a day to repair, maybe longer. He would ascertain what had happened when he examined the flight data and the damaged components. With a heavy sigh, he strolled across the workshop to the crew room to wait for his friends.
This engagement had been the hardest and most demanding of the three he had been involved in, and the level of concentration required was intense. He was now able to understand why some individuals suffered from combat stress more than others, and if not given time to recover adequately, could burn out or go over the edge. It made him realise just how difficult it must have been for the Admiral to request the services of an inexperienced non MDF squadron, but how necessary it was to prevent his active pilots from burning out.
When Grogaan opened the door, he was surprised to see Joeen Parond sitting in one of the armchairs. “Hello Joeen,” he said, and swallowed hard when he saw she was sporting a stern, angry expression.
Without saying a word, she got up and slapped him hard on the face.
Grogaan stared at her, shocked by her action and by the force behind it. “And I’m pleased to see you too! What was that for?” His cheek warmed, and his eye started twitching as the stinging sensation spread.
“As if you don’t know,” she retorted.
Grogaan gazed at her without utterance, never having witnessed an angry outburst from her. It was such a stark contrast to their last encounter, it made him wonder what he could have done to upset her so much.
“You know flying is all I have. Why did you have to take it away from me?” she said, her voice tinged with anger, and then started crying.
When Grogaan put his arms around her to comfort her, she responded by wrapping hers around him, and rested her head against his shoulder, her tears soaking into his flight suit. “What do you mean, I took it away?”
She sniffed a couple of times to help stifle her crying, lifted her head from his shoulder and looked into his eyes. “My squadron was due for patrol duty today, but it was stood down and Parrin’s assigned instead. When I confronted the Wing Commander, he said Admiral Yurgat had changed the rota, so I went to see him. He told me my squadron was on stand-down for the rest of the month, but wouldn’t say why. Eloisea reckons she overheard you and Yurgat talking about a mission, and that you asked him to stop me flying. How could you do that?”
Grogaan felt extremely guilty. He knew how much Joeen loved flying, but did not want to face losing her as a friend as well. “I didn’t ask him to stop you flying, well, not completely.”
Joeen pulled away, crossed her arms and glared at him through wet angry eyes.
Grogaan backed away just in case another hard slap came his way. “I asked him to restrict what sorties you were assigned because I couldn’t face losing you as well as everyone else I’ve lost,” he said, sighed lightly and dropped his head.
Joeen’s expression changed from one of anger to wonderment. She longed for him to elaborate, to tell her what she wanted to hear, but knew he would not. Looking intently at him, there was no sign of the sparkle in his eyes which he had when they were together at the lake, only sadness.
“I was only thinking of you. You’re one of the few friends I’ve got left, and I didn’t want to lose you.”
“You had no right to interfere regardless of what you thought,” she retorted and stormed out of the crew room. “And don’t do anything for me again, ever. Do you understand!” She walked across the hangar without looking back.
“Damn and blast.” Grogaan sat down feeling wretched and angry. Denying his feelings for Joeen had been heart-wrenching, but he was convinced it was not the right time, and that destiny had other plans for him. He just hoped he had not damaged their friendship beyond repair.
Time seemed to pass quickly as he pondered certain elements affecting his life: Joeen, Ellarna, Kopaz Squadron, and his future. He was just musing over the prophecy when his three friends burst into the crew room, looking very concerned.
“Is everything alright?” asked Zaack.
“Yeah, I guess,” he said keeping his face averted to hide his reddened cheek.
Zaack frowned. “I don’t like the sound of that. Besides, your ship was spewing out smoke and sparks, so everything is not alright, is it?”
“Not really. I suspect one of the shield emitters failed, and the ship took some damage at the rear, but it’s nothing to worry about.”
“Nothing to worry about? You bet there’s something to worry about. What if it the Krelathans had sent out another squadron?” said Doraant
“Forget it Doraant. I know you’re concerned, but there’s no need to be. So who was waiting by the hangars, and did I miss anything interesting?”
“Just a few Senators and high ranking officers of the MDF, so you didn’t miss anything, but you did miss out on seeing someone.”
Grogaan looked at Zaack suspiciously. “Who could I have possibly missed?”
“Miss Ellarna Rayshon, who happened to be accompanying her father. They wanted to meet Squadron Leader Learman and his squadron,” said Zaack.
“Oh well, there’s always another time,” he said.
“Hey Grogaan, what happened to your face?” asked Doraant, who had noticed his left cheek was highly coloured.
“Oh this?” he said, and flinched as he put his hand to his face, which was unsurprisingly tender. “It’s nothing.”
“Nothing?” said Doraant, and was about to say more when he received a stern glare from Zaack.
“So what else did the Senators want,” asked Grogaan.
“The Senate wishes to honour Kopaz Squadron by making us an officially recognised squadron, with our insignia accepted and logged in the MDF’s records. All achievements are to be recorded and recognised as official,” said Eldaan.
Grogaan was pleased, but it made no real difference to his ambitions. “That’s good news, and seems to support the offer from Admiral Yurgat.”
“The Admiral? What Offer?” asked Doraant, unable
to hide his excitement.
He told them about his conversation with Yurgat, but refused to discuss it further until after they had eaten. “So, are you all coming for dinner at the Klaret later, my treat?”
The others agreed without hesitation.
The four returned to their ships and gave them a routine servicing, checked the systems, and restocked the proton torpedo racks. The repairs to Zaack’s and Doraant’s ships would be relatively straight forward, but the other two had more extensive damage, especially Grogaan’s, which required further in depth investigation. It would also be prioritised over any other scheduled work.
An hour later, Grogaan was strolling home thinking about Joeen and how much he had upset her. He decided to make it up to her somehow, but did not know how. Even if he arranged to reverse the restriction on her flying, he remained unconvinced it would appease her sufficiently to make amends.
“Why is nothing ever simple?” he asked shaking his head in frustration. By the time he reached the back door of his home, he was feeling rather melancholy.
“Are you alright son?” asked Kareana when she saw he was looking downcast.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I guess I’m just over tired. It’s been quite a demanding day.”
“Well, you should be proud of your achievements. I’ve already heard of your performance.”
Grogaan managed a smile. “I am, and of my friends.”
“So why are you so unhappy?”
“Nothing I want to discuss.”
“Well, you have a visitor waiting in the lounge.” Kareana smiled, but refrained from mentioning who it was.
Grogaan frowned as he headed for the lounge to see who it was. When he walked into the room, he was shocked to see Joeen sitting in the armchair, only this time she was not looking so angry. Despite her calm appearance, he felt uncomfortable, filled with mixed emotions, and was unsure if he was ready for another confrontation.
“Hello Grogaan,” she said rising from the chair. She gave him a quick hug, which he did not reciprocate.
Her tone was more subdued, her eyes looked sad, but he still expected the worst. “Well, this is a surprise, especially after what happened earlier.”
Joeen took a step backward, detecting a hint of annoyance in his voice, and wondered if she had left it too late. She knew Grogaan never usually held a grudge, especially over something trivial, but did he regard her actions as trivial. There was only one way to find out for sure. “Yes, well, that’s why I’m here, well sort of,” she said with obvious regret in her voice. “Look Grogaan, I felt so wretched about the way I spoke to you, I had to come and apologise.” She lifted her gaze to meet his, noticed the colour of his cheek, and cupped it in her hand. A single tear trickled down her face. “Even more so for slapping you like that. It was . . . uncalled for.”
“No, you have nothing to apologise for. I’m sorry for doing what I did. I never meant to hurt you, and I deserved the slap.”
“After thinking about it long and hard, I realised what you did proved how much you care. I’m truly sorry.” She embraced him, holding him closer and tighter than before. To her delight and comfort, he put his arms around her, and she heard the sigh escape his lips. She knew he had forgiven her, although she had not expected the relief to feel so profound.
Grogaan discovered his awareness of other people’s emotions was greater since the confrontation with the Krelathans, and now he sensed her feelings toward him quite clearly. He also felt her heart beating as she pressed against him, and her hot breath made his neck tingle. The closeness of her body, the scent of her hair and perfume re-awakened his desire, which made him feel uncomfortable.
“Can I offer you a drink?” Grogaan broke free from her embrace and went to the drinks cabinet.
“Please. I’d love one,” she replied. The closeness of their bodies had heightened her desire for him, and she was unable to take her eyes from him. Her heart ached with the hope that he would make his feelings toward her known.
He poured two large brandies, handed one to Joeen, drunk his in one gulp, and then poured himself another.
Joeen took a deep breath to calm her thoughts and emotions. Despite her impulsive embrace, she wanted to avoid giving him the wrong impression, still thinking he was not interested in her in a romantic way. “Thanks,” she said taking the drink offered her and sat down.
“So why else did you come?” he asked a little too sharply for comfort, but Joeen took no notice of his tone.
“You said you wanted to be free, to go travelling beyond the system.”
Grogaan nodded as he sat in the chair opposite her.
“I presume you’re friends will be going with you if and when you go.”
“They won’t let me go anywhere without them.”
She looked at him intently, her eyes filled with hope, and then took a sip of her drink as she thought about how best to ask her question. “I’m probably way out of line here, especially after being so horrible to you.”
“Let’s put that behind us and not let it damage our friendship.”
She smiled, was surprised at how easily he dismissed what had happened, and pleased they could at least remain friends. “You really are kind. Even so, I know you’ll probably object, but, oh never mind, it’s not important.” She cursed herself silently for being so cowardly, and not for the first time.
Grogaan looked at her and shook his head in frustration. “Joeen,” he sighed, “you didn’t come all this way just to apologise and have a drink. If there’s something on your mind, anything that’s bothering you, I’d like to know. Feel free to ask me anything. You know I’ll never think badly of you. How could I?”
“Perhaps for slapping you like that?” she said dipping her gaze, but Grogaan just smiled. She finally plucked up the courage to ask. “I was wondering if anyone else would be able to join your squadron.”
Grogaan gazed at her for a moment and saw hope in her eyes. “Why, who do you think would want to join us?” He asked even though he already knew who she was referring to, and her friendly smile said enough. “You’re serious aren’t you?”
“Yes I am, very, but after my outburst, I’d understand if you said no. I know you wanted to keep me safe, but I know I’d be safe flying with you.”
“To tell you the truth, I hadn’t really thought about it, not that anyone has asked.” He paused resting his chin on his hand. “I know you’re a good pilot, reliable, trustworthy and not afraid of hard work. Regardless of what you think, I wouldn’t refuse you because of what happened earlier,” he said rubbing his cheek. “You’ve a hard slap Joeen, and a bit of fight in you, that’s for sure.”
Joeen laughed but looked down feeling embarrassed.
Grogaan rubbed his first finger and thumb of his right hand across his moustache and around his lower lip while thinking, keeping his gaze fixed on Joeen the whole time. He sensed her concern, knew she was avoiding his gaze, and smiled as she began fidgeting nervously. “I’ll have to talk to the others when I see them later and see what they say. If they have no objections, then sure, you can join us, but I’m not promising anything.”
Joeen gulped down the last mouthful of her drink. “I know. If you do say yes, I promise I won’t let you down, and I won’t press the issue if the others say no.”
“You’ll have to learn some engineering and maintenance skills. I’m a stickler for high levels of self-discipline in all you do, and I won’t tolerate any slackness. It might sound harsh, but it might save your life one day, and you don’t let anyone else know, right. Oh yes, I am prone to snapping on occasion, but not as often as I used to.”
“In that case, I had better let you go and meet your friends.”
Grogaan placed his glass on the side table and showed her to the front door. “I’ll let you know our answer later tonight.”
“Thanks, I really do appreciate this.” She leant forward and kissed him on the cheek, smiled and left.
Grogaan closed the door and sighed heavily. It a
ppeared as if destiny was playing a strange game with him, and one he was becoming confused about. His emotions were now in turmoil and he did not know what to do for the best.
After changing into his dark blue trousers, pale green shirt, and slipping on his black leather boots and jacket, he went to meet his friends at the Klaret, who were already seated and waiting for him. Before discussing the day’s events, they ordered dinner and a round of ale, which Joss kindly brought over for them. Grogaan took a few gulps of his drink, and took a deep breath.
“What’s on your mind?” asked Zaack
“You all know Joeen Parond, don’t you?”
They all nodded.
“Well, she’s asked if it would be possible to join our squadron. As we’re a team, you must decide if we’re to increase our number and who we allow to join.”
The others drank some ale in silent contemplation.
“From what I’ve heard, she’s a good pilot, friendly, and has a sense of humour; well, she’d need it to survive in the MDF. It’ll make the squadron stronger and improve the odds, so yeah, I’m for it,” said Zaack.
Doraant was nodding. “I agree with Zaack, but it’s really up to you Grogaan.”
“It’ll be nice to have another member in the squadron, especially a female. Yeah, I think it’s a good idea,” admitted Eldaan.
Grogaan was unsure if he was pleased at their decision or not, but he knew it would make his life more difficult, at least in the short term. “In that case, we had better get her a fully modified interceptor and quickly. We can’t have a squadron member with a disadvantage, can we?”
“That’ll cost a bit won’t it? Can we, can you afford it?” asked Zaack.
Grogaan laughed. “You leave that to me.”