CHAPTER 58
SYMPATHY
Navadar did not leave. He insisted on staying the night, something he had never done before. Her protests died inside her throat. She did not want to keep this calm pretense anymore—she wanted to leave reality again and lose herself to the overwhelming grief; however, she was still afraid of being alone. She could recall all too clearly the feeling of being alone, the only presence in a forest that was a world of its own. Navadar was the only thing keeping her from going insane.
They did not leave the center of the forest, and he never let go of her. His strong arms wound a protective cage around her. They held her together so she did not fall to pieces as they eased her into a light, fitful sleep. She drifted on and off throughout the night, lying lightly on his rising chest. During the hours where she lay awake while he slept underneath her, she calmed herself by listening to the sounds of his heartbeat. At certain times, she could have sworn she heard his heart beat her name…
Kiethara never felt more torn in her entire life. It was as though there were two different people inside of her. One—the more dominant—was drowning in her sorrow, helplessly lost in the recent, unsettling events. The sky remained cloaked in gray, making the night darker than usual while occasionally the thunder rumbled as infrequent droplets would fall. The wind remained still, though, just as her tears remained silent.
There was the second, smaller being inside her. She was numb and slightly more rational. This person was in love with the boy underneath her. She watched him while he slept on. His blond hair fell in pieces over his eyes and unwrinkled forehead; he looked years younger when he slept, with his features finally relaxed and peaceful. His full lips were open slightly and his breaths came in quiet sighs. She wondered if he was dreaming.
He had known that she was in pain when he saw the billowing storm. But how? She had not even know she could do something like that until quite recently, that it was her combined emotions and uncontrollable power contorting the sky.
So how could he have known?
The answer came to her. She remembered, all those weeks ago, when she had been trapped in the strange world that lay outside the forest. When she had been running through the plains in a desperate attempt to reach the forest, urgently trying to run away from the horrid society behind her, and she had failed to do so…
Navadar had caught up with her. And during that meeting, the sky above had become just as fierce as it had been a few hours ago. She might have been too enraged to notice it at the time, but perhaps he had noticed.
He really did love her. Kiethara owed her sanity to him for his careful attention and perpetual kindness. If she weren’t so absolutely torn apart, that thought would have made her smile.
Finally, dawn came. The night had not brought her much sleep, but she hadn’t wanted to inflict the same fate upon Navadar. She let him sleep as the sun rose, lying still on his chest, focusing on keeping her breathing as even as his was.
At last, he stirred underneath her. She closed her eyes as his arms tightened around her, fighting off a sudden wave of emotion. Where was this coming from? She thought she had cried the last of her tears, but here they were again, threatening to leak over.
She needed to be alone. He had helped her gain control, pulling her up over the cliff she had been dangling from, but now that she was safely back on land, she needed to mourn. She had a firm grip on her powers, but not the lamenting shards of her heart. Not yet.
Navadar shifted again. She raised her head and flexed her arms, which had fallen asleep pressed up against his torso.
“Good morning,” he murmured his voice thick with sleep.
“Morning,” she replied, her voice even hoarser than his. She cleared it quietly.
He stared hard into her navy blue eyes for a long moment, searching.
“I’m fine,” she said quickly, answering his unspoken question. She pulled herself upright and onto the grass next to him to escape his penetrating gaze. He sat up to, eyeing her warily.
“Are you hungry?” she asked, looking away from him and towards the grass.
“Yes, please.”
Kiethara focused hard at the ground. After a second, nothing happened. She focused harder, fresh strawberries filling her every thought. Her crystals glowed feebly.
The grass remained just that. Grass.
Shame washed over her, turning her cheeks red and making her eyes tear up in embarrassment. She could not even grow food! Something that had come naturally to her since the age of five was now impossible.
Kiethara was so lost in disbelief and panic that it took her a moment to realize she had become invisible.
At least she could still accomplish that.
Navadar’s eyes widened for a second, but then comprehension filled the clear green. He reached his hand out towards her, his fingertips brushing her arm until they felt their way up to her shoulder and rubbed it sympathetically.
“Never you mind,” he said simply.
It was too much. Kiethara was suddenly angry that Navadar was here, watching her make a fool out of herself. Everything she did just proved how weak she was! All he saw now was some pathetic sixteen year old girl who could not even pull herself up out of the mud, not a guardian.
She finally reappeared, and his responding smile only made it worse. Her hands burst into flames.
“I’m sorry,” she said, forcing the words out as well as her hands to return to normal. She loathed having to speak them. “Thank you…for coming. But you should really get back to Redawn. I wouldn’t want your father to worry.”
Kiethara hadn’t intended for the words to sound so harsh.
Navadar’s face remained very composed, his eyes careful.
“I’ll always come, that I can promise.” he said sincerely.
Kiethara only nodded, looking away.
It was silent for a moment. She held her breath, waiting…
“But you are right,” he finally said, as though he did not want to admit it. “My father will be worried.”
Kiethara took a deep breath. “Yes. Your relationship has been strained as it is, so please; don’t let me cause you any more strife. I can’t have you in more trouble.”
The words sounded false, even to her ears. She winced internally as a wave of guilt hit her. Could she handle anything else before it became too much?
“Trouble is…inevitable these days. He makes life as difficult as possible.” Navadar shook his head and sighed before standing. He held his hand out. Trying to be off-handed about it, she jumped to her feet as though she had not seen it. She did not need his help to stand. Still, she did not look at his face, unwilling to find out how bad her action had offended him.
“Listen, I’ll come back as soon as I can,” he said, lifting her chin. He raised an eyebrow, as though daring her to object.
“Have a safe ride home,” she mumbled pathetically, feeling wretched. He wanted what she could not give. Not at the moment.
Navadar nodded solemnly, as though he understood. Did he? Could he?
He opened his mouth, but then closed it. With one stroke of her cheek, he turned and left.