Part of Kiethara still could not believe that she would never hear Aaron again. Besides the weather, the forest seemed almost the same. There was only a small difference to the air that surrounded her, a tiny discrepancy in the way it shimmered. For someone who did not live here as she did, there was nothing that screamed a change as massive as the one that had taken place. She doubted even another guardian would have noticed it.
So as she curled up and closed her eyes, she noticed there was still a small shred of hope that sparked in her thoughts. Her inability to accept his departure made her hope. The small, sane part of her mind warned her that she was only making things worse for herself by believing this, but she pushed the thought aside.
From the lack of sleep the night before and the deluded fact that she was convinced of—one that told her she would hear Aaron’s voice in her ears soon enough—she fell asleep quickly.
Kiethara was standing on the lake.
She could not explain why she wasn’t sinking. She had never been able to walk on water before. But now the water was firm underneath her, cool as ice. She stared down at her feet in confusion, wiggling her soil smudged toes as if to prove it was real. Could it be?
Kiethara craned her neck back. The sky above her was not blue. It was not even gray. It was a monstrous swirl of purple and green, with forks of violet and emerald lightning to illuminate the forest below.
Nothing crossed her mind as she gazed up at the spectacle. She was numb, inside and out. She was very grateful for the feeling.
But she also had a strange assumption that she was waiting for something. Kiethara pursed her lips. The sky, the water…this was a dream.
The realization did not wake her up.
Kiethara, a voice called.
Aaron?! The thought was louder than if she would have screamed it. She half expected the birds in the trees to fly up, but then she reminded herself that this was a dream, and that nothing acted as it should.
This was what she had been waiting for! She knew it! Aaron wasn’t gone—he could not be. He could still talk to her. Her mother had. He could not—
Oy! the voice snapped angrily. Open you ears! Do I sound like Aaron?
Crippling disappointment almost woke her up.
Oh, Kiethara, the voice said softly. It sounded strange to hear her without her usual edge. I didn’t mean to be harsh, but…he’s gone. Truly.
Kiethara plugged her ears.
Nice try, she snorted, sounding more like her usual self.
You’re still here! Kiethara snapped. He must be too!
Weren’t you listening to his words? His explanation about death? Aaron used up all of his power. He has finally passed on, Tinya sighed, the sound full of such emotion that Kiethara was surprised. There was awe, reverence.
Of course I respect him! Even though I’ve never talked to him, I feel strangely connected to him. Besides him, I’ve lingered the longest past my physical death…
Kiethara was taken aback. Respect was the last thing she had expected from her dream companion.
But another thought—one as dark and unpleasant as the rest of them had been lately—intruded on her surprise. The voice was a lingering spirit just like Aaron. Yet she was different. Kiethara only heard Tinya when she was unconscious, for one…
That’s my choice, the voice interrupted. It’s easier to talk to you when you’re unconscious, because you’re…closer to the departed than you are when you’re awake. I don’t have to use as much magic. That means I can draw it out for a little more time…
Her voice sounded so small there, at the end. It took Kiethara a second to realize what it was. It was fear. The voice had only been a small girl, thirteen, when she had died. So young! And to linger after you die…Tinya was not mature enough to let go. She must be clinging to her life…if that’s what you would call what she had. How could a child willingly pass on?
That’s not it! she snapped. I’m just curious to see how long it will take you to fail!
Kiethara flinched—that was harsh. It brought back the fears and doubts that Aaron had left her with her. Honestly, how could she survive? In all of her battles with Gandador, she had always known, at least, that he had been there. He had been the one to save her during their first confrontation! What would it be like to fight him knowing she had no help?
All right, all right, listen! the voice said loudly. This was not the direction I was planning this conversation to go.
You were planning to have this conversation?
Not exactly…
Kiethara closed her eyes. She did not need this right now. All she longed for was to sink into the water beneath her and tune out the world around her.
You say I’m in denial. You think I’m denying the fact that I’m dead. Well, what are you doing? Ignoring the world around you isn’t exactly the pinnacle of acceptance.
Kiethara opened her eyes. She mused over her words carefully as she gazed up at the green and purple clouds.
I just can’t comprehend…that he’s gone.
He had always been there. Even in her dreams. Kiethara looked around her now. The trees were dark, the sky in chaos…there was no Aaron here.
I understand, the voice whispered. Sometimes things happen that completely alter your life. When something happens that you would not have imagined in your wildest dreams—and trust me, I know your wild dreams—the world around you turns into a mighty stranger.
Kiethara could not have described it better herself. The voice…Tinya…she understood much better than anybody else seemed to. On top of that, she was only thirteen. It made her wonder—what had this girl experienced?
My experiences? the voice asked, laughing bitterly. The few when I was alive, or the numerous when I became a spirit?
Um…
I know, the voice laughed again. For you, your world-shattering moment was Aaron’s death. For me, it was when I died. There I was stuck in the limbo, torn away from my life and unable to fully embrace death. No one had yet explained to me the laws of death and, at first, I had been so scared that I clung to my magic for years. I was too much of a coward to die. So I watched my parents mourn for me, too scared to confront them, too scared to use any of the precious magic I had left. But because of that, my parents were able to move on and have another child. They forgot about me. They looked to a brighter future without me.
If that wasn’t painful enough, I had to watch them die. My mother became a spirit and she was excited to feel me; however, she wanted to move on. She tried to convince me to come, but I was too scared.
Kiethara could not move. This story stabbed at her heart. Could she cry in a dream?
Then why me? Kiethara asked. Why release your magic on me?
I’ve done some…growing up, the voice snorted. But that’s not it. What I said just before, about your world-shattering moment being the moment Aaron faded, well, I want to take that back. Your moment came when you were the age of three, you just can’t remember it. And when I saw that, I knew your life would be as changed as mine was. That it would be as difficult as my death was. I watched you closely as your life progressed, especially when Gandador came back. When I saw how brave you were, I decided to be brave, too. I’ll pass on in some time, and all the while I’ll be making a difference by assisting the one guardian that I believe deserves it the most.
Kiethara could not speak.
So now I offer you my sympathy. I understand what you’re going through. I will help you in any way I can. Kiethara…you are not alone.