On a warm August afternoon, Eric and Lynne stood near the back of mourners as one small coffin was lowered into the ground. Family surrounded Louie, who stood among his older children, as Simon and Andrew Canfield were laid to rest. Fran was still in the hospital, but the rest of the Canfields and Aherns had assembled, except for Frannie’s mother. Marjorie Ahern had spent most of her days at her daughter’s bedside and this one was no different. The Snyders had left Jane at St. Matthew’s in Mrs. Kenny’s care, wanting to pay their respects to the Canfield family as well as act as a buffer for Sam and Renee.
That Ahern couple stood side by side, but unlike most others, they didn’t hold hands or lean on one another. Sam’s arms hung limply while Renee gripped her rosary, both dressed in black, as was just about everyone in attendance. Eric clutched Lynne as she wept. A week after the twins had been born, then passed away, the Snyders had experienced a gamut of emotions, but not all were due to Fran and Louie’s tragic loss. Sam had collected his wife from the Snyders late on Saturday afternoon, but his face still sported anger, although it was muted. Eric felt that was due to Stanford and Laurie’s presence. If the New Yorkers hadn’t been there, Eric wouldn’t have been surprised if Sam verbally attacked his wife.
Eric had spent much of that week trying to talk to Sam while Lynne attempted to soothe Renee. Neither Snyder was successful, for while the Aherns stood together, their hearts were far apart. Normally Sam wasn’t overtly demonstrative, but that day he didn’t even try to console his wife, who cried throughout the brief funeral. The afternoon was pleasant and Eric had learned that Louie hadn’t wanted a full mass in their church. He needed sunshine and a soft breeze alongside the warmth of his family. Eric had spoken to Sam’s sister Joan, as she, Russell and their three young daughters arrived at the same time as the Snyders. Joan was easy to talk to and she hadn’t minced words, pulling Eric aside and asking if he had managed to get through to Sam.
Perhaps the Snyders and McCampbells were the only ones to realize the turmoil between Sam and Renee. The rest were too shocked by the awful loss of twin sons, although their deaths were considered as God’s will. That Frannie would eventually be all right was a bigger blessing, in that Louie wasn’t also mourning his wife or seven children their mother. The priest had committed Simon and Andrew’s bodies to the ground, their brief lives God’s gift, although the priest didn’t try to give an explanation. Eric had spoken to Pastor Jagucki during the week, so had Lynne. They didn’t tell Marek about the Aherns, only seeking spiritual support at a time of immense sorrow. Marek had assuaged their hearts in his kind but honest words; many of God’s actions were far beyond human comprehension. The babies were safe with Christ and soon their mother would return to the bosom of her family.
As white roses were gently tossed to the ground, Eric considered Stanford and Laurie’s reactions; neither man had before encountered such heartbreak. Laurie felt for Louie, with whom he had spoken at Easter, while Stanford was awed by Fran’s condition, a mother of many, but now two of her children were dead. Eric hadn’t expected Stanford to be so shaken, but he had grown teary as Eric broke the news, then left the kitchen, spending an hour upstairs. Part of that time Laurie had accompanied, but when Laurie returned alone, Eric had only nodded. Perhaps these were the first children’s deaths Stanford had known, and maybe they were exacerbated by his mother’s ill health or Seth’s dubious recovery. Until the New Yorkers left on Monday, Stanford was particularly subdued, and he held Jane at every opportunity. Neither man had noticed the frost between the Aherns, for which Eric had been relieved, one fewer issue that required an explanation.
Other than Joan and Russell, maybe no one else saw the level of discord between Sam and Renee. Larger sorrows loomed, although Eric was exceedingly grateful that Fran would be all right. Both Eric and Lynne had expressed their hesitant but truthful relief that Fran and Louie wouldn’t have to consider another pregnancy, although who were they to say that another baby would be a burden. Eric had no doubt that notion was the cause of friction between the Aherns, but Eric had never seen Sam so incensed. Lynne had, so he took her word that a typically jovial man could so easily lose his even temper. Then Eric tutted himself; who was he to judge anyone? Perhaps this was tied into Sam’s tour overseas, or maybe Sam felt guilty what with having just decided to adopt. Fran and Louie had lost twin sons and would never have another child. Maybe it was easier for Sam to shun his wife than accept his own feelings.
That’s what Sam had done two years ago when Eric was gone. Sam had blamed Lynne and even after Eric returned, Sam had taken time to let Lynne back into his heart. It wasn’t until Sam watched Eric change that he no longer thought Lynne was…. Eric kissed his wife’s damp cheek, then led her several yards from where related clans comforted each other. As Lynne burrowed against Eric’s chest, he spied Renee being calmed by Joan as Sam sought out others. While Lynne struggled to stem her tears, the Aherns drifted further apart until they stood on the opposite fringes of the entire group.
A reception was being hosted at the Canfields’ church, but Eric and Lynne had decided to forgo that event. Jane was part of the reason, but in truth, the Snyders were there solely as acquaintances of the Canfields. Eric wondered if Sam and Renee would attend, probably, Eric thought, more from their expected presence. But maybe they would beg off, not wishing to hide their dispute. Eric didn’t want to know and softly he stroked his wife’s hair. “Shall we go?” he whispered.
Lynne looked up, then gazed to where Louie stood with his parents and children. “Don’t you wanna say goodbye?”
“I don’t think we’ll be missed. You need some mother-daughter time.”
Lynne nodded, then sighed, scanning the assembly. “Where are Renee and Sam?”
Eric motioned to one side of the gathering, then to the other. “Honey, let’s go.”
Lynne didn’t answer, but she followed Eric’s lead. Slowly they walked to their car and Eric helped his wife into her seat. As he stepped to his door, he glanced toward where most remained. Joan McCampbell motioned for him and Eric nodded. Then he opened his door. “Lynne, I’ll be right back. Joan wants to talk to me.”
“Give her my love.”
“I’ll do that.” Eric shut the door, then headed toward Joan. They met a few feet from where both had parked. Joan’s cheeks were damp, her eyes red. She looked a little like Sam, but her blue irises weren’t as bright. Short blonde hair blew around her face and she tucked some strays behind her ears. “Are you coming to the reception?” she asked.
“No, Lynne needs to feed Jane. Please give Louie our love.”
Joan nodded, grasping Eric’s hand. “Of course. Um, Eric, can I ask you something?”
“Certainly.”
Joan released Eric’s hand, looking back to the group. Then she gazed at Eric. “I just tried talking to Sam, but he’s being pretty obstinate right now. We’re gonna take Renee with us, he said he was driving Louie and Fran’s kids home. I don’t know if he’ll come back for Renee, but Russ and I can get her home.”
Eric sighed. “I wish there was something I could say to him, I mean….”
“He’s usually not so darn, oh goodness, intractable.” Again Joan glanced back, shaking her head. Then she looked at Eric’s car. “Listen, you go, I’m sure that baby’s crying for her mother.” Joan gave a small smile. “He’ll get over it, just like he did when he came back from Korea. Sometimes though he has that Irish temper, even if we’re not all that Irish.” Then she sighed. “Thank you, both of you, for being here today. Fran talks about you and your wife quite often. I know she’s heartbroken right now, but between us….”
Joan looked around, then whispered in Eric’s ear. He nodded, then sighed. “We’ll be praying for everyone. If Renee doesn’t wanna go straight home, drop her off at our place. We don’t have any plans.”
“Thank you. We might do that if Sam’s still being a….” Joan stopped herself, then shook her head. “He’s my big brother, but sometimes he’s a pain in
the neck.”
Eric wore a wry grin. “Well again, we’ll be home all day.”
“Maybe we’ll see you later then.” She gripped Eric’s hand, then let go. Joan waved at Lynne, then turned back toward the large contingent of mourners. Eric tried looking for Sam, then for Renee. He did find them, but they remained far apart.
The Snyders didn’t see either Ahern that afternoon. On Sunday at St. Matthew’s, only Marek knew what had happened and he asked about the Canfields and the Aherns. Eric and Lynne didn’t know much, although Joan had called right as they were stepping out for church; Fran would be in the hospital for another week, but had noted visitors were welcome. Eric and Lynne had talked about it on the drive; perhaps Lynne would go alone, leaving Jane at home with her father. Not that Eric didn’t want to see Fran, but in these early days of grieving, it might be easier on Fran to chat with another woman.
The Snyders brought this up with their pastor while standing in front of St. Matthew’s after the last parishioners had left. Marek told them to give Mrs. Canfield his best and that she and her family were in his prayers. He also offered that if the couple wished to visit Mrs. Canfield together, he would be happy to keep an eye on Jane. Eric nodded, shaking Marek’s hand, and that he would let the pastor know.
On the way home, Eric considered stopping by the Aherns, but Jane started to fuss. Instead he drove his family back to their own house, but to their surprise, Sam’s car was parked in front of the gate. The vehicle was empty and as Eric pulled into their driveway, killing the engine, he quickly glanced at Lynne, who seemed just as astonished. Which Ahern was waiting behind the wall, probably seated at the patio table?
Lynne collected Jane from the back seat, the baby having fallen asleep. But as soon as she realized the ride was over, she began to cry. Lynne quickly walked to the gate, then slipped inside. Eric was right behind them, but Lynne didn’t go around the house to learn the identity of their visitor. She let herself in through the kitchen door, closing it behind her.
Eric kept walking, rounding the side of the house. Sam was seated facing the garden, but he turned around as Eric came near. Sam nodded, then went back to staring at broken sod.
“Good afternoon.” Eric pulled up the nearest chair and sat beside Sam. Loosening his tie, Eric undid the top buttons of his dress shirt. “How long you been here?”
“Just a few minutes. I dropped Renee off at home, said I needed some air. Didn’t know where else to go though, I hope you don’t mind.”
“Don’t mind at all. Although Jane’s getting fed first, hope that’s okay.”
Gazing at Eric, Sam looked a bit sheepish. “Oh, I didn’t mean to imply, I mean….”
“Have you had any lunch?”
“No.”
“Well, neither have I, or Lynne. As soon as Jane’s full, I’m sure we can rectify that situation.”
Sam sighed, then stood. “Look, I didn’t mean to intrude. Tell Lynne I said….”
Eric was on his feet. “I’ll let you tell her.”
Sam looked around, but it was still the two of them. “No Eric, really, I should be going and….”
Eric grasped Sam’s left shoulder. “Where will you go?”
The words were said slowly and deliberately. Sam shrugged, then shook his head. “Hell, I have no idea.”
“All right then. Park your behind Ahern while I’ll rustle up some grub.”
Eric waited until Sam retook his seat. Then Eric headed back around to the front of the house, calling to his wife that Sam was staying for lunch.
Jane was in a pleasant humor, but that didn’t stir her uncle to a similar mood. They ate outside, which Lynne had thought would be better than being cooped inside. Nor did she again want to experience Sam’s anger within her kitchen.
While his tone wasn’t harsh, his words were hollow, and he didn’t ask to hold his goddaughter. Even in bright sunshine Lynne felt a chill, just as she had when Sam came to see her on that rainy, cold day in 1960. This time, disbelief didn’t foster his wrath; it was all too clear what had driven a wedge between him and Renee.
Yet, he didn’t speak about his wife, only that he’d spent much of yesterday evening with Frannie, who as Joan said, was feeling a little better, and that she would probably appreciate a friendly face. Sam looked at Lynne when he spoke, the only time he met Lynne’s gaze. Eric noted that Joan had said the same and Sam looked surprised. “Joanie called here?”
Lynne had never heard Sam use that nickname, but she kept quiet as Eric nodded. “Yeah, right before we left for church. She mentioned that Fran was improving and that she’d appreciate a visitor. Said she was still gonna be there another week.”
Sam sighed, then slumped in his chair. “Yeah, God, we’re lucky she’s alive. She lost so much blood and….”
Lynne didn’t flinch from that detail and Jane had no idea of what her uncle revealed. Yet Sam paused like he’d been indiscreet. Then he sighed again. “Shit, lucky isn’t even the way to describe it. She nearly died damnit! But thank God he let us keep her.”
A mother didn’t recoil then either, but Sam immediately glanced at Lynne. “Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to swear in front of the baby.”
“It’s all right. She has no idea what we’re saying.” Lynne reached for Sam’s hand, but he hesitated. Then he clutched hers, nodding his head.
“How was she last night?” Eric asked.
Sam let go of Lynne, then looked at Eric. “Weak, tired. She, uh, talked about, well, about….”
“You can say it.” Lynne bobbed Jane in her arms. “She talked about the boys, didn’t she?”
It was easier for Lynne to say boys instead of babies, and maybe that was also good for Sam, who nodded, wiping his eyes. “Yeah, although I have no idea how she can talk about them so soon after, after….” He used his napkin to blow his nose, then took a deep breath. “She says they’re with Mary, that Mary’s looking after them, so what more could she want? When she said that I nearly choked, I mean, she just lost them a week ago, and yet she wasn’t sad, I mean, she wasn’t crying. She was, God, I’ve never seen her so, so….”
“So what?” Eric said softly.
Sam stood, then gripped the back of his chair. “So convinced.” Then he stared at Lynne. He didn’t speak, but she knew his thoughts. Frannie had been as certain of her sons’ whereabouts as Lynne had been about Eric’s two and a half years before. Not that Lynne knew exactly where he was, but that he was a bird, which at the time Sam couldn’t possibly comprehend.
“Well, I’m sure that’s where they are too.” Eric kept his voice even. “I can’t imagine how hard it must be for her, wishing they were in her arms, but Sam, your sister’s an amazing woman. She has an incredible heart and very strong faith. I knew that as soon as I started sketching her, what with a thirteen-year-old at one side and a baby at the other. God’s asked her and Louie to bear a great sorrow, but he won’t burden them with more than they can take.”
Sam glared at Eric, then Jane began to squawk. Lynne watched how Sam longed to say something harsh, yet Jane’s increasing wails lessened Sam’s irritation, and he sat down as Lynne stood, trying to soothe the baby. Lynne didn’t step toward Sam, staying near Eric, who reached over for Sam’s hand.
“I told Lynne that she should go see Fran, not sure if she’ll get around to it tomorrow, maybe on Tuesday.” Eric glanced at his wife, then he looked at Sam. “What’s Renee’s schedule this week?”
“What?” Sam asked.
“Your wife, when’s she working this week? Maybe she and Lynne could go together.”
Sam seemed stumped by Eric’s question. “I, uh, have no idea when she’s busy.”
Lynne’s heart lurched, for Sam knew Renee’s schedule sometimes better than Renee did. As Jane quieted, Lynne excused herself, not wishing to know any further just how divided the Aherns had become.
An hour later Eric returned to the house alone. He carried the remnants of lunch, which Lynne took from his hands, placing the dishes in
the sink. Eric caressed her cheek, then kissed her. Then he smiled. “Jane asleep?”
Lynne nodded. “Sam leave?”
“Just a few minutes ago. Renee call?”
“No, but I called her. She sounded awful, but was glad to know where he was. Did he say anything?”
Eric shook his head, then led his wife to the kitchen table. Both sat down, gripping each other’s hands. “He’s furious with her, he finally admitted that, but what he can’t yet say is that he, well, not that he agreed with Renee, but that for whatever reason, this is what God had in mind.” Eric paused, then lifted Lynne’s hands, kissing her knuckles. “He did say they’re not gonna adopt, said it pretty bluntly.”
“Oh no!”
“Yeah, he was in quite a mood. So I asked if he still wanted Stanford to sell their painting.”
“Oh Eric, did you really?”
“Yes I did. If he’s gonna be so….” Eric shook his head, then released Lynne’s hands. “Joan said it best, intractable. I surprised him though, I don’t think he’d even thought about those hawks. He was flummoxed for a minute, then looked right at me and told me to tell Stanford that it’s no longer for sale. I just nodded, maybe he thought I was gonna try to talk him out of it, but that’s something only he and Renee can decide.”
“You mean Sam alone. Oh, no wonder she sounded so distraught, oh Eric, what’re we gonna do?”
Tenderly Eric grasped his wife’s hands. “The only thing we can.” He gazed around the room, focusing on the older part of the kitchen. “I can see him standing in here, giving you hell. He does have a tough streak, probably what saved his life in Korea, his life and his sanity. But this’s something only he and Renee and Christ can work through. But we’ll do our small part and leave the rest in God’s hands.” Eric squeezed Lynne’s fingers. “I came back to you two times under very perilous circumstances. I gotta believe that Sam and Renee will….”
Lynne burst into tears. Eric stood, then knelt beside her, wondering how she had lasted all those cold weeks, then throughout a long summer and autumn. Yes, she had support for the very first time, but no faith, or merely a burgeoning spark. And in this very room, Sam Ahern had basically called her a liar, wordlessly accusing her of mayhem. Sam’s heart had been softened, he hadn’t remained angry with Lynne forever. While soothing his wife, Eric had to believe that Renee would eventually be on the receiving end of Sam’s mercy. But for how long, Eric wondered, would Sam continue to reproach himself?
Chapter 71