The following day Laurie received a phone call from Renee; she had been hoping to speak with Eric, but as long as Laurie could get the news of Sam’s illness passed along, Renee would be grateful. Laurie posed several questions, which at first surprised Renee, then she permitted his queries. The Snyders hadn’t told the New Yorkers the truth about the Aherns, which made Renee bite her lower lip. But the main fact Renee now considered was how much she truly loved and needed her husband, who was still sick as a dog she said to Laurie, but by the time Eric returned, Sam would be back on his feet.
Laurie never noticed how Renee omitted Lynne and Jane from the conversation; Renee seemed overwhelmed by Sam’s sudden sickness, which she still wasn’t sure how to categorize. It came upon Sam like the flu, but no one around them was ill. Laurie told Renee he’d call Eric at Agatha’s, where the Snyders were spending the week. Laurie also passed along Agatha’s telephone number, in case Renee needed to reach Eric. And that to please let Laurie and Stanford know how Sam was getting along. Renee said she would, then she ended the call, wondering when the Snyders returned to Manhattan if they would spill the beans. The New Yorkers seemed fully unaware of how things had changed on the West Coast.
That was all the analysis Renee allowed, for she was too busy nursing her husband. Thankfully his brothers were happy to check on the Snyder home, leaving Sam in the care of a nurse who didn’t mind some cooking and cleaning in addition to tending to her patient. Renee also spoke to Eric, who had called shortly after Renee got off the phone with Laurie, then Eric rang again a few days later, checking in. By then Sam was much improved, although still spending most of his time in bed. Only his brother Ted knew just how stricken Sam had been, and to Renee Ted acknowledged that fact; if she had called him when she first found Sam unconscious on the sofa, Ted would have given his brother last rites.
Now Ted came by daily, his hands full of letters. Both he and Henry had found it incredible how much post Eric’s paintings generated, although they had seen last summer’s exhibit, not to mention the Ahern portraits. The brothers confided to Sam that after Frannie was out of danger, they had gone together, wanting to view what else Eric had created, and that both had been moved to tears. Something about the wildlife contrasting with such accurately measured family portraits provided two Ahern men with hope for their eldest sister, also peace that God’s ways couldn’t be fathomed by mere human beings. That much of Eric’s work was now touring Europe was to Ted very good, although he was glad his family, and Renee’s too, weren’t included in the retrospective. Ted did share that with Renee, making her smile.
Father Theodore Ahern, or Father Ted as he was called even within his own family, had for years noticed slight friction between Sam and Renee, but hadn’t said anything about it, feeling that as a priest who was he to advocate parenthood to anyone? He felt that way toward his own parishioners, not badgering those who obviously weren’t following Catholic teachings when it came to procreation, nor slavishly praising parents with numerous children. Within his own large family, most of his siblings had several kids, except for Joan, and Sam of course. Ted had been heartbroken for Fran and Louie, but like Renee, he had wondered the purpose of two more offspring for that couple. Over the course of time, Fran had permitted her brother to divulge his thoughts in a priestly fashion as well as that of a younger sibling. Frannie had revealed that she felt the same, easing some of her anguish and facilitating her healing.
Yet, neither of those siblings had shared their views about Sam and Renee. Somehow speaking about a couple for whom conception wasn’t possible seemed too delicate, although now Fran was in the same situation. But Fran never rued her hysterectomy; it had saved her life and actually improved relations with her husband, for the specter of pregnancy was gone. Not that she had told Ted those details, but she had inferred how grateful she was to be alive as the mother of seven healthy children. As a priest, Ted found Frannie’s faith to be some of the strongest he had ever encountered. As her brother, he sometimes felt it was a detriment to their religion that women weren’t permitted stronger roles within the church.
But Frannie stayed away from Sam that week, on the off chance that his illness was contagious. Joan did the same, but Joe and Marjorie Ahern stopped by, along with Henry, who would collect the Snyders’ mail and water their houseplants next week. Sam was still so weak that Renee couldn’t be expected to leave his side, even Dr. Howard visited. He wasn’t Sam’s physician, but he’d wanted to offer his assistance. Yet there wasn’t anything he could do that Renee wasn’t already providing. Sam needed rest, fluids, and a slow return to his usual activities.
Renee didn’t ponder whether or not Sam would be up to posing for Eric when the Snyders came home. She did post a letter Sam composed to Eric, having addressed it to Laurie and Stanford’s apartment. While Sam’s family visited, Renee did the shopping, the only time she left her husband’s side. Marjorie had brought over milk and bread, but going to the market gave Renee time to get away, although she didn’t think about anything more than what was written on her list.
On Friday afternoon, Renee left the house with several errands to run; the new car needed gas, which Henry had offered to do, but Sam had explicitly declined that favor. They’d had to break the news about their recent purchase, and while relatives seemed unbothered with their good fortune, the last thing Sam wanted was for family to attend to the vehicle. Renee thought he was being ridiculous; it would be her clan to squawk more about the Aherns having two cars, but Sam had insisted. Henry and Ted had laughed at their younger brother, that Sam didn’t want anyone else to have the pleasure of taking the new vehicle for a spin. Renee had detected no jealousy from those men and Sam’s folks were still concerned about their son’s precarious health. It was up to Renee to fill the Chevy’s tank, but it was an easy task to manage.
It was first on her list and she crossed it off while the attendant washed her windshield. Then she stopped at the pharmacy, picking up Epsom salts and another thermometer. Then she drove to Dr. Howard’s office to check in with Vivian, who told her to take next week on a day by day basis. Renee thanked Vivian, finding the office was exactly as she had left it. Renee was relieved to have changed jobs, only a few people to whom she was obligated.
Grocery shopping took longer; Renee wasn’t overly familiar with where items were located, and several times she had to double-back through the aisles. She stood in what seemed a rather slow line, but was gracious to the checker and bagger. The bag boy pushed Renee’s cart, placing her items in the Chevy’s trunk, then sheepishly he admired the new car. Renee smiled at him, he barely looked out of his teens. Maybe he thought it novel that she was driving the Bel-Air, but she didn’t have time to explain the reason.
Right before she started the engine, she glanced at her list; everything else had been crossed off and with a small sense of satisfaction she drew a line through market. Starting the car, she considered her husband; did Sam miss her or was he asleep? Marjorie had brought over some yarn to knit, so if Sam was napping, she wouldn’t be bored. If he was awake, perhaps they were chatting, plenty of family gossip to ponder. Renee had hurried in every place she stopped, well, all but at the gas station, but even while there she had checked her list, wanting to get everything done in the timeliest manner possible. Yet, Sam was in good hands, she hadn’t needed to rush.
With cold items in the trunk, now Renee had an impetus to get home quickly. However, she found herself driving with care, or rather, she was taking her sweet time, meandering along streets, slowing down as a light changed from green to yellow. But the bag boy had put all the perishables together and Renee’s house wasn’t far. The Aherns lived on the eastern side of town near the shopping district. The west side was where Renee worked, the older part of town, also where the Snyders worshipped, which of course wasn’t far from where they lived.
Had anyone told Marek Jagucki about Sam’s illness? Probably not, for Renee hadn’t heard from the pastor all week. Maybe Eric hadn’t wante
d to make a long-distance call just to tell him, or at least not from Stanford’s housekeeper’s home. Eric might telephone the pastor next week from Laurie and Stanford’s place, or he might not say anything at all, feeling now that Renee wasn’t seeing Marek for counseling, it wasn’t relevant. Or that it wasn’t Eric’s place to share the news.
At the next light, all Renee had to do was turn right; her house was a few blocks down that street. She hadn’t bought anything to put in the deep freeze, just lunchmeat, butter, and cheese as Marjorie had brought the milk yesterday, not that Sam was eating anything so rich. He was barely finishing a bowl of chicken soup and most of Renee’s purchases were canned goods. As she approached the light, which was red, she thought how easy it was to heat up chicken noodle soup for the two of them, maybe some tomato soup this weekend, if Sam was up for it. Renee stopped at the light, absently indicating left, thinking how fortuitous it was that saltines had been on sale at the market. She had bought two boxes, just in case, and as the light turned green, she went left, mulling over how well soda crackers complimented an ordinary bowl of soup.
Renee had never been culinary-minded. Her mother was an excellent cook and Renee had preferred to let Marie spoil her family while Renee happily washed dishes or played cards with her father. Maybe Renee should have insisted on learning more domestic tasks, but those skills would have been wasted. Initially her parents had questioned her decision to enter nursing school, but then they offered their full support. Was that because they sensed their daughter needed a profession, that perhaps motherhood wasn’t meant for Renee?
That notion had never come up, not when Renee was younger, nor last fall when she had gone back home. Renee had chosen nursing because of stories her uncles told about their exploits in World War II; how kind and competent were those women who had cared for them. Had a romantic idea to tend injured men driven Renee into a job in which she excelled and how ironic that it was her own husband who had needed her attention early on in their marriage. He needed her now, she smiled to herself, then she took stock at where she was; how in the world had she ended up at St. Matthew’s Church?
Pulling over to the curb, Renee took several deep breaths, her heart racing. She’d been nearly home, hadn’t she gone right? Obviously not, she muttered under her breath. Shaking her head, she wondered how scatter-brained she must be to have missed that turn, yet not only had she missed it, she had blatantly gone the opposite way. She clucked to herself, then put the car into gear. She started to make a three-point turn, but as she approached the curb in front of St. Matthew’s, Marek Jagucki trotted down the front steps.
His smile was wide and he waved, causing Renee to nearly stop breathing. But she did inhale, the air going down her lungs with difficulty, making her choke, which forced her to slam on the brakes. She wasn’t parallel to the curb, but close enough that no one would hit her. Then she chided herself; she couldn’t pull away, for now Marek stood within feet of the Chevy. Renee would have to roll down her window, but what would she say?
Why was she there, she wondered, as Marek continued to grin. She could tell him Sam was sick, but how would that explain her presence? Stopping by St. Matthew’s hadn’t been on her list; clearly this errand wasn’t planned. Then stinging tears burned in the corners of her eyes. The last time she’d been here, righteous indignation had carried her home. Now at home the man she had been willing to give up was being cared for by his mother. And Renee was wasting time in getting back to him, dawdling here for reasons only known to….
Marek had stepped closely to the car; Renee needed to roll down the window, lest she insult the pastor. As she did, she trembled, feeling her life wasn’t her own. God had brought her here, the same God who had taken the twins, who had made Sam enlist, and who for whatever purpose changed Eric Snyder into a hawk. That God had also led Renee to St. Matthews that afternoon seemed equally mysterious, but she swallowed that notion, rolling down her window, then looking Marek’s direction. “Hello Pastor. How are you?”
“I’m well. And how are you Renee?”
“Um, I’m, uh, you see….” She had wanted to say she was lost, even if she knew this town like the back of her hand. For over a year, Renee hadn’t felt like her feet were firmly under her, her life tossed about like a buoy on rough seas. Why shouldn’t she take this aberration like everything else that had occurred; there seemed to be little Renee could count on anymore, nothing was certain. Well, Sam still loved her, she knew that. But other than that, nothing else felt stable.
“It’s a fine day for a drive out and this’s a beautiful automobile.” Marek stood back, gazing at the car. Then he smiled again, lightly tapping the top of the Chevy. “Are you on your way home from work?”
“Oh no, actually, you see….” Renee inhaled, then held her breath. So much to tell the pastor, where was she supposed to start? That she’d found Sam nearly on his deathbed at the beginning of the week seemed like ancient news; there was the call to Laurie, all the Snyder mail gathering on her kitchen table, not to mention that when Eric returned, Sam was going to sit for a portrait. Then Renee shivered. The last thing Sam wanted to do was let Eric paint his picture. Had that been what caused Sam’s sickness, yet, he wasn’t dead. And when Eric came home, Renee had no doubt that Sam would follow through with that agreement. Eric would probably paint Sam at the Aherns’, better than making Sam drive to the Snyders’. If sessions went long, Renee wouldn’t have to come home to an abandoned house, aware that everyone else was all the way across town.
Yet that’s where she was now; Dr. Howard’s office was a few streets over, then Lynne and Eric’s…. Renee bit her tongue to keep tears at bay. She hadn’t allowed that woman’s name into her heart for what felt like ages. Renee had concentrated on Eric, the only safe Snyder. But what about Lynne?
All that Renee knew about Lynne was that her houseplants were in good shape. Ted and Henry both had commented about making sure they were well watered. But suddenly Renee was curious about Eric’s wife; had she made a peach pie for the New Yorkers, and what about for Stanford’s cook? That’s where Lynne and Eric were now, in Queens, a place Renee knew nothing about, not that she knew much about Manhattan, although Lynne had shared stories about Laurie and Stanford’s apartment, and about Michael Taylor’s too. Renee had heard a little about Central Park, and of course the magnificent gallery where Eric’s paintings had been displayed. Manhattan had sounded like another world to Renee, maybe Queens would be more of a place she could identify with, once the Snyders returned and shared their tales.
Hot tears fell down Renee’s cheeks. How would she learn anything? She had no plans to chat with Lynne and would only see Eric in passing when she came home from work and he packed up for the day, and those days wouldn’t be many, for Eric wouldn’t press Sam to pose for longer than was necessary. And Sam would only pass along the barest of details, for Renee had made it plain she didn’t want to know. She didn’t want to involve any of the Snyders within her life because her life no longer held room for their sort of happiness. Lynne’s joy was now wrapped up in….
Quickly Renee focused on the steering wheel; she needed to gather her bearings, she had to return to Sam. Marek had driven her home once already, but now there was no one to retrieve their car, or to drive the pastor back here. Renee smiled, wiped her cheeks, then glanced at the open window. She tried to avoid Marek’s face, but he was looking right at her. His brown eyes were wide, also gentle. It was as if he saw right through her, leaving Renee feeling naked, but unafraid.
“I heard your husband wasn’t well,” Marek began. “Fran Canfield called a few days ago, asking me to pray for Sam. She imagined you were too busy, plus with the Snyders away. I hope it’s all right that she told me.”
Slowly Renee nodded, immediately feeling guilty that it was Frannie to seek Marek’s intersession on Sam’s behalf. But then Renee had been making sure her husband didn’t die on her. Then she trembled, aware of why Sam was still among the living. Had this Polish pastor consid
ered the same notion, Renee then wondered. Probably, she sighed, again finding herself gazing into Marek’s large brown eyes.
“I took the liberty of speaking with Stanford Taylor,” Marek continued. “Eric left Stanford’s number with me, just in case. Stanford said that Eric and Lynne were in Queens this week, but that they knew about Sam. How is he feeling?”
“Oh, um, better, I mean, a little better. Well, he’s much better than he was on Monday.” Renee sighed again. “I had to get some groceries and fill up the new car. His mom’s with him right now, he’s still pretty weak.”
“Well, please tell him my prayers are with you both. I’m sure it’s quite taxing nursing one’s spouse.” Marek wore a thoughtful smile. “I hope you’re taking good care of yourself.”
Renee nodded, then stared at the pastor. While his brown eyes were gentle, his words carried a different meaning. Yet, his tone wasn’t chastising; Renee realized his concern and it wasn’t solely related to her physical well-being.
“All right, well, if you’ve been to the market, I’ll say goodbye. I don’t want your perishables to expire.” Marek stood back, again admiring the car. Then he met Renee’s gaze. “Might Sam be up for a visitor next week?”
“Oh, um, certainly, I mean, if you have time.”
“I always have time for friends,” Marek smiled. “I’ll ring before I come over, perhaps on Tuesday?”
Slowly Renee nodded; she had never considered Father Riley or Father Markham as her friend. But then Marek was Eric’s pastor. And Tuesday would be fine, Renee had nothing scheduled anymore on that day. As that thought entered her head, she stared sharply at the man now standing on the sidewalk. But Marek wasn’t looking at her; he seemed to be focusing on the car. Had he said Tuesday for a reason or was it simply a free afternoon? “Um, sure, Tuesday should be fine,” Renee stammered. “But please do call first, you know, just in case.”
“Of course. In the meantime, give Sam my best. Hope to see you both next week.”
“Yes, next week. And I will, I mean, give him your regards.” Renee tried not to meet Marek’s gaze as she spoke, yet how subtly he had gone from inspecting the Chevy to finding her eyes. And in his eyes again Renee was struck by his kindness, also his knowledge. He hadn’t implied any guilt that it was one of Sam’s relatives to call him, nor had he pressed as to why Renee had driven to St. Matthew’s. Renee rolled up her window, then put the car into gear. Marek waved as she pulled away, but he didn’t loiter on the sidewalk as she peeked in the rear view mirror. No one stood in front of St. Matthew’s as if that entire conversation had been a figment in Renee’s head.
Yet, as she drove home, she knew Marek would call next Tuesday, and by then Sam probably would be ready for a new face. By Tuesday, Renee might even go back to work, albeit for a half day. And by the time the Snyders came home, Sam would be mostly recovered, nothing to hinder him from posing in front of the Bel-Air. Well, he might not want to stand for the entire time, or maybe this illness would disappear as suddenly as it had hit him. As Renee stopped at a red light, she glanced to her right, from where she had made that erroneous left turn. Then she shook her head, focusing on the stoplight. As it turned green, she hit the accelerator, hoping Sam’s mother wouldn’t notice if the butter seemed a little soft. Renee would tell Sam about this incident privately, in part that she needed to offer Marek’s regards. And that only Sam might comprehend why for no apparent reason she had gone left instead of right.
Chapter 102