Suddenly, I realized Kota might not know the truth. I stared at the floor, afraid that Gabriel might reveal some hint of we’d been caught kissing or something else. Kota may not be ready for that. I hadn’t been ready…
“Don’t talk like that,” North said, spraying sunscreen into a paper towel and using it to wipe closer to my eyes. The cool spray wetted my skin, and my eyes watered at the strong smell. I wanted to wipe at them, but knew better, as I’d probably get ink and sunscreen in my eyes.
“I can talk how I want, North,” Gabriel said in a deeper tone.
I gritted my teeth. Was everyone grumpy?
“Guys,” Kota said with his eternally patient tone. “Back to Luke. Is he okay? The last time he ran off like this was when we were talking about starting up at the high school and he wasn’t really into the idea. Is he upset with something?”
I turned to look at Gabriel, who was still on his side, facing the wall, but he didn’t say anything. There was a heaviness in the silence, and while I couldn’t confirm his feelings, I could only assume we were thinking the same thing. If Luke was upset about anything, it must have been the recent discovery he, Gabriel and I had made.
Luke was the one who had discovered North had been having secret conversations with someone about me joining the team. He’d found Lily and her team, and had invited Gabriel and I along to find out what they were up to.
Unfortunately, the answer was something we hadn’t expected at all. I wasn’t even sure I understood how their plan would work. To keep the team together, we all needed to stay together. For Lily’s team, that meant she and the four guys on her team got married. They’d fallen in love and lived together in a house in the middle of nowhere without neighbors.
It might not be the only way, but it was their way, and from what we’d heard, the only real way it worked out for the long term. After talking it over with Mr. Blackbourne later, we learned other teams had tried it, but hadn’t been successful.
Lily kept in contact with me, but I didn’t know what to say to her. I wasn’t really sure I had processed the idea. Gabriel and I talked about it on occasion, but we hadn’t broken off to talk to anyone else yet. I think we were still trying to get used to the idea, and what it meant to us. Luke hadn’t talked too much about the encounter since it happened, although he was always nice to me when we did talk, like today.
The silence continued. Kota went on. “If we don’t know, maybe one of us should ask him.”
“I don’t think he wants to talk to me right now,” Gabriel said. “I’ve tried a couple of times, but whatever he’s got bottled up, he’s keeping to himself.”
“He sure as hell won’t talk to me,” North said and then sighed. “I’ve been pushing at him to get his head together and he’s been fighting back, like how he fights me on everything lately.”
“You may need to back off for a while,” Kota said. “Whatever he’s going through, you don’t want to push him too far.”
The problem was, without North being able to talk to him and Gabriel bowing out, I wasn’t sure who else could get through to him. I didn’t have a chance to talk to anyone personally about where everyone else stood on this. Maybe Victor, although he’d had to spend more time at home in the last week, with an upcoming concert happening for a charity event.
It couldn’t be Kota, and I wasn’t totally sure how the others would talk to him about the issue. It left only one person, and since Luke hadn’t talked to me about it yet, I wasn’t sure he would. “Maybe...I should talk to him,” I said.
North made a last swipe at my face with a dry paper towel. “That might be a good idea.”
“I just worry if it’s a guy problem, that he’s not going to explain it to her,” Kota said. “Or he’s just going to tell her it’s no big deal when it really is. Or maybe it’s some assignment in the Academy he’s not sure about and doesn’t know how to refuse.”
“It’s either her or Mr. Blackbourne,” North said. “Personally, I think she should give it a go first. Mr. Blackbourne’s busy.”
Out there somewhere was a fake Sang in a blond wig, along with another Academy guy, sometimes it was Nathan or Kota, and sometimes it was someone else, running around ahead of Mr. Morris and other teachers, and Mr. Blackbourne followed them for extra protection. This was to keep Mr. Hendricks’s spies busy while Mr. McCoy was scouting a fake Academy school. It was meant to distract them all and allow Mr. Hendricks to feel like he had an advantage over us now.
Mr. Blackbourne had to stay away from the real me and the rest of us, though. We were lucky we hadn’t had any unusual cars or any other activity for the past week. All of the spies were in downtown Charleston with the fake Sang and Mr. Blackbourne.
We couldn’t keep up this charade forever. Tomorrow, I’d be back at school, and so would Mr. Blackbourne.
If we couldn’t subtly draw them out, we’d do it loudly, according to Kota, relaying what Mr. Blackbourne had told him. If this was the subtle part, I wasn’t sure I wanted to know about the louder version. I didn’t even know what it really meant, but whenever I heard a door open or a car passing by, my heart raced. Kota watched the street, as did the other guys, and we waited, either for orders as to what to do, or a sign that Mr. Morris or someone else had returned and had given up the chase.
Until then, we had a bit of breathing room, but it was like waiting in the lounge right before you went in to see a doctor, on the edge and uncomfortable.
Kota sighed, sitting back as he touched the corner of his glasses. He corrected one of his sleeves of his sweater, which had fallen around his wrist, and adjusted it back up his arm. His eyes shifted back and forth, probably calculating a plan of some sort. “Sang might be the best one for this, at least for now.”
There didn’t seem to be an alternative. I was pretty sure I knew the reason Luke was so distant. In a way, it was my fault. I was the one caught in the middle. We’d gone out to look for answers, answers North had already sought out, only to find more problems. Problems we weren’t ready to face.
“I can do it,” I said quietly, not totally confident, but not having much choice, either. “Let me get some time with him alone. He might open up.”
Kota smiled a little. “You’re getting more Academy every day.”
“Isn’t she?” North said with a proud spark in his dark eyes.
My cheeks radiated with heat. I wasn’t sure how to respond. It was odd that Kota seemed oblivious to what was going on, and guilt threaded its way into the center of my heart. I wasn’t sure how to talk to him lately. It was odd to know what I knew and not talk to him about it. I didn’t like keeping the secret but the others thought it best to wait a little. Victor especially thought I should wait, and perhaps let them explain it to him instead.
However, they were hesitating and I thought they were waiting for me. They wanted to know how I felt about it. I didn’t really have an answer for them. Could I even start to consider this? What if I tried, and they all didn’t want to? Could I bear to lose any of them at this point?
The other thing on my mind was how I was going to bring up the topic to Luke. I hadn’t really noticed anything wrong with him earlier when we were talking. If he’d been taking off to think, was it wrong? Maybe that was what he needed.
Kota and North were concerned, though, and they’d known him longer. I checked on Gabriel, who appeared to be really asleep now. I thought if I got a chance later, I’d talk to him and get his real opinion. After jumping ahead last time, I was hesitant to be the one trying to help.
North passed me the spray sunscreen. I took my time working on his face, all except a small heart on his cheek, real close to his hair line, which I pretended not to notice. I wasn’t sure if he’d be mad about it later, but I couldn’t bring myself to wash it away.
After I was finished with him, he stood up and stretched. As he lifted his arms up, the black T-shirt he wore shifted, revealing his stomach. My eyes went to the dips and lines in his hips, and I absently stared
, curious about how male hips did that. Mine didn’t look like that.
There was a gentle hand on the top of my head, causing me to pull myself out of my daze and look up. North smirked at me.
My cheeks heated, embarrassed to have been caught staring...down there.
“I’m going back to the diner,” North said, looking at me as he said it, but seeming to be talking to everyone. He held on to his smirk as he did so.
“You should take the rest of the day off,” Kota said. He had turned toward his computer, looking over some files and emails. “We’ve got a lot to do this week, and it might be your only chance.”
“I’m just going to check the schedule,” North said. “I might give Luke a bit of time off.” He released my head but still looked at me. “Maybe you can get him alone this week.”
I nodded. That sounded like a good idea. Maybe he was like Gabriel, and needed time off to figure things out. I’d have to figure out how to approach him. What does Luke like to do when he has time off? “I could take him to the grocery store and get some snacks he likes,” I said. “And maybe a movie night in?”
North had a funny look on his face for a moment, a little pained. Was it the suggestion about letting Luke buy snacks? Did he not want to encourage his junk food habit? I considered it a nice way to get him to relax and then ask him things.
“I guess,” he said. “Whatever you think will work.”
“It’s a great idea,” Kota said. He turned in his chair, looking at me. “If he agrees, you can borrow my car to go.”
“He’ll probably want to take the Jeep instead,” North said with a small smile.
Kota’s lips dipped slightly and he touched the corner of his glasses. “What’s wrong with my car?”
“That old green sedan is going to kill you one day,” North said.
“It still works. Why get a new one if it still works?”
“I offered to get you a new one. Or to keep the one you used when yours was taken.”
“And I said give it to that family in Moncks Corner.”
“And I gave it to them after you wouldn’t shut up about getting your old car back.”
Kota shrugged. “I like my car.”
North rolled his head back until he was looking at the ceiling light and sighed. “Fine. Keep your damn car. But I want to check it out again this week. Maybe rebuild the engine after this whole school ordeal is over.”
“There’s nothing wrong with my engine,” Kota said.
North made a noise that was a mix of a grunt and a groan. He snapped his head back to look at me. “Do you want to come with me? You can walk back with Luke. Maybe keep track of him so he doesn’t run off before you get a chance to take him out.”
“Okay,” I said, starting to get up, and then looked at Gabriel. He was still facing the wall, possibly already asleep, even through the talking. I glanced at the others. Kota turned to his computer, seeming busy. North checked his pocket for his phone and then headed for the stairs.
I quickly bent over Gabriel, gently squishing at his chest as I held myself up.
“Urg,” Gabriel said in a sleepy slur. I caught the lilac scent he wore today in a wave. His two locks of blond hair partially covered his eyes, and then he reached up an arm, moving it over his brow to block light. “What?”
I bent over, and while I was trying to appear like I was whispering, I gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek. “Bye.”
He said nothing, but the crests of his cheeks dotted with pink.
He might not even remember it, but it made me feel good to at least tell him goodbye.
And then I felt guilty about leaving Kota without saying goodbye, so when I got up, I went to him, standing behind him at the chair.
“Am I forgetting something?” Kota asked, typing something on his computer as he talked. He turned when he finished and looked at me. “You okay?”
I smiled and then held out my arms like I wanted a hug. I was getting better at this touching thing.
He smirked and then stood, the computer chair rolling back a bit. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders in a tight hug. “You’re coming right back, aren’t you? I mean, you’re getting your food and heading to Nathan’s?”
“Maybe. Who knows how long this might take. And if we do take the Jeep, we might leave from the diner and Luke likes to pile in the food.”
“I’ll be here all night tonight,” he said. He smoothed his palm down my back. My face was pressed into his chest, the green sweater smelling like sweet spice, the pattern making dents in my cheek. “I don’t know if you want to bring him here if you need to talk to him. Nathan’s home tonight. I don’t know if Luke will talk if he’s around.”
I hadn’t thought about that. “Maybe...maybe Nathan could stay with you tonight? We can just assume Luke will spend the night and this might take time? And if we get interrupted, who knows when this week I’ll be able to get a chance to talk to him with school and all.”
Kota was silent for a long moment. To most people, asking to spend a night with a boy was probably not acceptable, but in our case, it had turned into our normal. Still, there was a small bit of hesitation from Kota.
“Fine,” he said. “Just remember that you’ve got school tomorrow, too. Don’t stay up all night. And brush your teeth.”
I mentally giggled at his reminder to clean my teeth. “Okay.” I stepped away and turned, surprised to find North still standing at the top of the stairs, looking in at us.
Again, there was a slightly pained expression on his face. It made me hesitate.
North shook his head and the look was gone. “Coming?”
I sighed and walked toward him. Was I just paranoid? North had mentioned he approved of a situation similar to what Lily had, a complicated relationship of one girl and a bunch of guys. He wasn’t sure how it would work, but he said he wanted it to work.
But the look on his face made me wonder, did he truly like the idea, or did he say he liked it, and then when confronted with my kissing Gabriel’s cheek and hugging Kota, had second thoughts?
This was going to be more complicated than we thought.
TRICKS AND MASKS
Downstairs, I put on a pair of sneakers and looked around for a jacket, before I remembered I’d come without one. It’d been warmer that morning, and now in the early afternoon, the wind had shifted outside and everyone was wearing light sweaters. I was in a thin shirt. “I should go get a jacket,” I said.
“Here,” North said, pulling a thin black hoodie from the couch, the one he’d taken off and slept on. He passed it to me. “Wear this.”
I was going to refuse and say he should use it, but I wanted to get going, and it was a short walk. I took the hoodie, getting my arms into the sleeves and zipping it up. It was big around me, covering my butt. I rolled the sleeves up to my forearms.
The scent of his musk filled my nose then, heavier than before. I relished the scent, letting it fill my nose.
He waited while I made the adjustments and then nodded toward the front of the house. “Let’s walk,” he said. “I think we should go through Nathan’s yard and the woods. It means less time in the street, just in case we get Mr. Morris or someone else coming along.”
“North,” I said, falling in behind him as he headed toward the door. My eyes went to the many knick-knacks in the house, the Lee family photos and a gold clock and plants. Now that I had a moment alone with North, I wanted to talk about all the things I couldn’t with Kota around. “Do you think Luke’s upset about when we went to see Lily?”
“I have a feeling he is,” he said. “Any time there’s a change in his life, he takes off to adjust. I’m glad you didn’t say anything to Kota about it just yet. I want to talk to him first when I can. For Luke, he probably hasn’t adjusted to it, although he hasn’t said he disliked the idea, which I guess means he’s at least considering it.”
It seemed reasonable. I’d probably do the same thing, although I wasn’t able to really be alone much with t
he boys around, I still found moments in the bathroom, or in bed after the others had gotten up, to just consider what we were doing. “You mentioned he went off to think when you all chose to start at the school?”
“It was when we were having the discussion,” he said as he undid the lock on the front door and held it open for me. With the way the light shone in from outside, it shadowed his features, making him look a little scarier than normal, even though he was calm. “Luke’s a little different. He gets used to a routine, because then he can predict what his days are going to be like. When you change it, he has to change his idea of what’s ahead of him.”
“He daydreams about having regular days?” I stepped out onto the front porch, but then turned to look at him, sticking my hands into my pockets.
“It was like when we started talking about the diner idea, too,” he said. He stepped out and started to dig for his keys in his pocket. He selected a green one and put it in the door, locking up behind us. “He had to picture himself in a diner and working there. It’s not his ideal career, but he liked the fact that there would be apple pies, and macaroni and cheese being served all the time.”
That seemed to make sense for Luke. When I’d first met him, he had a set idea of what he wanted for the diner. He had me imagine with him what it might look like. While the finished diner wasn’t exactly as I pictured it, it was still very nice and Luke seemed to enjoy it. “And you think he just needs to think about this new situation?”
“We all have to think about it. A lot.” He turned to me. He stuck his own hands into his pockets, which bulked up his shoulders a bit. “Sweetheart, you don’t just jump into something like this without a lot of thinking. I’m not even sure if I’ve fully thought it through.”
My lips parted and my mouth hung open. I wanted to respond, but it made me incredibly hesitant about the whole thing when he was unsure. If none of us were certain about it, how could it be a good idea at all?