CHAPTER FIVE.
_July 15th_.I was not in the least interested to know anything about what WillDudley and Rachel Greaves talked about together, but I was anxious tofind out if she had said anything to show him that I was really grown-up, instead of the child he thought me; so the next time we met I askedher plump and plain--
"What did you and Mr Dudley say about me the other morning?"
We were walking along a lane together, and she turned her head andstared at me in blank surprise.
"About you? The other morning? We--we never spoke of you at all!"
Then I suppose I looked angry, or red, or something, for she seemed in atremendous hurry to appease me.
"We have a great many interests in common. When we lived in town webelonged to the same societies, and worked for the same charities. Itis interesting to remember old days, and tell each other the latest newswe have heard about the work and its progress."
"Then you knew him before he came here? He is not a new friend?"
"Oh, no--we have known him for years. It was father who got him hispresent position."
"And you like him very much?"
"Yes," she said quietly. "Isn't it lovely to see the hedges coveredwith the wild roses? I think they are almost my favourite flower--sodainty and delicate."
"Nasty, prickly things--I hate them!" I cried; for I do detest beingsnubbed, and she could not have told me more plainly in so many wordsthat she did not choose to speak of Will Dudley. Why not? I wonder.Was there some mystery about their friendship? I should not mindtalking about anyone I know, and it was really absurd of Rachel to be sosilent and reserved. I determined not to ask her any more questions,but to tackle Mr Dudley himself.
Two days after there was the garden party, where I knew we should meet.He was bound to go, as it was on the estate where he was living, and Iwas to make my first formal appearance in society, in the prettiestdress and hat you can possibly imagine. Mother was quite pleased withme because I let her and Johnson fuss as much as they liked, and tie onmy white veil three times over to get it in the right folds. Then Ilooked in the glass at my sweeping skirts, and hair all beautifully doneup, and laughed to think how different I looked from Babs of the morninghours.
We drove off in state, and I was quite excited at the prospect of thefray; but I do think garden parties are dreadfully dull affairs! A bandplays on the lawn, and people stroll about, and criticise one another'sdresses, and look at the flowers. They are very greedy affairs, too,for really and truly we were eating all the time--tea and iced coffeewhen we arrived; ices, and fruits, and nice things to drink until themoment we came away. I don't mean to say that I ate straight on, ofcourse, but waiters kept walking about with trays, and I noticedparticularly what they were like, so as not to take two ices runningfrom the same man. I had a strawberry, and a vanilla, and a lemon--butthat was watery, and I didn't like it. I was talking to the hostess,when I saw Mr Dudley coming towards us, and he looked at me with such ablank, unrecognising stare that I saw at once he had no idea who I was.Mrs Darcy talked to him for a moment while I kept the brim of my hattilted over my face, then she said--
"Don't you know Miss Sackville? Allow me to introduce Mr Dudley, dear.Do take her to have some refreshment, like a good man. I am sure shehas had nothing to eat!"
I thought of the coffee, and the ices, and the lemonade and thesandwiches, but said nothing, and we sauntered across the lawn togethertalking in the usual ridiculous grown-up fashion.
"Lovely day, isn't it?"
"Quite charming. So fortunate for Mrs Darcy."
"Beautiful garden, isn't it?"
"Charming! Such lovely roses!"
"Beautiful band, isn't it?"
"Oh, charming! Quite charming!"
Then he seated me at a little table and provided me with an ice, (numberfour), and stared furtively at me from the opposite side. It _was_ fun.I crinkled my veil up over my nose and tilted my hat over my forehead,and shot a glance at him every now and then, to find his eyes fixed onme--not recognising at all, but evidently so puzzled and mystified tothink who I could be. Father had told him only a week before that Verewould not be home for a month--and now who was this third Miss Sackvillewho had suddenly appeared upon the scene?
"You have returned home rather sooner than you intended, haven't you?"he inquired, and I shook my head and said--
"Oh, no, I kept to the exact date. I always do! What makes you thinkotherwise?"
"I--er--I thought I heard you were not expected for some time to come.You have been staying with friends?"
"Oh, a number of friends! Quite a huge house party. I feel quite lostwithout them all."
He would have been rather surprised if I had explained that the partyconsisted of forty women and no man, but that was not his business, andit was perfectly true that I missed them badly. All the RachelGreaveses in the world would never make up for Lorna and the rest!
"But you have your sister!" he said. "I have seen a good deal of yoursister in her morning walks with Mr Sackville. She is a charmingchild, and most companionable; I am sure she will be a host in herself!"
"It's very good of you! I can't tell you how pleased I am to hear yousay so!" I said suavely; but do what I would, I could not resist agiggle, and he stared at me harder than ever, and looked so confused. Iwas so afraid that he would find me out and spoil the fun that Idetermined not to try to keep up the delusion any longer. He was goingto cross-question me, I could see it quite plainly, so I lay back in mychair, smoothed out my veil, and smiled at him in my most fascinatingmanner.
"I'm so pleased that you have formed such a good opinion of me, MrDudley! I was really afraid you had forgotten me altogether, for youseemed hardly to recognise me a few minutes ago."
He leant both arms on the table so that his face was quite near to mine."_Who are you_?" he asked, and I laughed, and nodded in reply.
"I'm Babs--Una Sackville is my name--England is my nation, Branfield ismy dwelling--"
"Don't joke, please. I want to understand. _You--are--Babs_! Have youbeen deliberately deceiving me, then? Pray, what has been your objectin posing as a child all these weeks!"
That made me furious, and I cried hotly--
"I never posed at all--I never deceived you! Father treats me as achild, and you followed his example as a matter of course, and I wasvery pleased to be friends in a sensible manner without any nonsense.If I had said, `Please, I'm nineteen--I've left school, and am comingout--this is a hockey skirt, but I wear tails in the evening,' you wouldhave been proper, and stiff, and have talked about the weather, and weshould have had no fun. If anyone is to blame, it is you, for notseeing how really old I was!"
He smiled at that, and went on staring, staring at my face, my hair, mylong white gloves, the muslin flounces lying on the ground round myfeet.
"So very old!" he said. "Nineteen, is it? And I put you down as--fourteen or fifteen, at the most! And so Babs has disappeared. ExitBabs! I'm sorry. She was a nice child; I enjoyed meeting her verymuch. I think we should have been real good friends."
"She has not disappeared at all. You will meet her to-morrow morning.There is nothing to prevent us being as good friends as ever," Ideclared, but he shook his head in a mysterious fashion.
"I think there is! There's a third person on the scene now who willmake it difficult--for me, at least--to go back to the same footing.There's Una!" he said, and looked at me with his bright grey eyes, upand down, down and up again, in a grave, quiet sort of way which I hadnever seen before. It made me feel nice, but rather uncomfortable, andI was glad when he brightened up again, and said gaily--
"I owe a hundred apologies for my lack of ceremony to this fine, thisvery fine, this super-fine young lady! I'll turn over a new leaf forthe future, and treat you with becoming ceremony. I can quite imaginethe disgust of the budding _debutante_ at my cavalier ways. Confess nowthat your dignity was sor
ely wounded?"
His eyes were twinkling again. They are grey, and his face is so brownthat they look lighter than the skin. I never saw anyone's eyes looklike that before, but it is awfully nice. I thought there was asplendid opening, so I said--
"No; I was never vexed but once. I like being treated sensibly, butthat morning when you left me, and went out of your way with RachelGreaves--I was sorry then that you did not know that I was grown up."
"You thought if I had I would have walked with you instead? Why?"
I blushed a little, and it seemed to me that he blushed too--his cheekscertainly looked hot. It was a horrid question to answer, and he musthave known for himself what I meant. I really and truly don't thinkmany men would go out of their way for Rachel Greaves. I answered byanother question--it was the easiest way.
"I didn't know then that you were old friends. I suppose you get tolike her better when you know her well?"
"Naturally. That is always the case with the best people."
"And she is--"
"The best woman I have ever met, and the most selfless!" he saidsolemnly. "Have you spoken to Rachel about me? What has she told you?I should like you to know the truth, though it is not yet generalproperty. You can keep it to yourself for awhile?"
I nodded. I didn't want to speak, for I felt a big, hard lump swellingin my throat, and my heart thumped. I knew quite well what he was goingto say, and I hated it beforehand.
"We are engaged to be married. It will probably be an engagement foryears, for Rachel feels her present duty is at home, and I am content towait her pleasure. I don't go up to the house very often, as the oldgentleman is an invalid, and dislikes visitors, but we understand oneanother, and are too sensible to fret because we cannot always betogether. Only when an opportunity occurs, as it did the othermorning-- Why--you understand?"
"Yes, I understand," I said slowly. I was thinking it over, andwondering, if I were ever engaged, if I should like my _fiance_ to becontent and sensible, and quite resigned to see me seldom, and to waitfor years before we could be married. I think I would rather he were ina hurry!
Oh, I wish I were selfless, too! I wish I could be glad for themwithout thinking of myself; but I do feel so lonely and out in the cold.I'm thankful that Vere is coming home next week, and the house will befilled with visitors. Engaged people are no use--they are alwaysthinking about each other!