“Nowhere.”
“Let’s all go inside,” Mom announced. “You should nap before tonight. Eadlyn’s been working so hard on this party, it’s going to be wonderful.”
I’d thought of everything. The music was live—suitable for slow dancing—and there was a mix of foods, both from Illéa and France, as well as some of those delicious apple fritters Henri had made for me. I couldn’t wait for him to see.
Mom looked radiant as always, and Dad didn’t seem quite so worn-out. Josie was right at home, and I was pleased because for once she hadn’t stolen a tiara. Kaden was like a little ambassador, walking around the room and shaking hands.
I was, of course, staying close to the happy couple, which was both captivating and draining. Ahren looked at Camille like she hung the sun in the sky every morning. It was beautiful, the way he watched her, enchanted by every breath that came out of her mouth. But I felt strangely detached from it all because no one had ever done that for me, and I’d never done that for anyone else.
I found myself jealous of Camille. Not for having the unwavering love of my brother—which I knew to be one of the steadiest forces in the world—but because everything about her came so effortlessly.
What had the French queen done to raise her like this? Camille was delicate and sweet, and yet no one would think to try and walk all over her. I kept up with international affairs, and I knew her people cherished her. Last year on her birthday an impromptu party started in the streets in her honor and lasted for three days. Three days!
I thought my education was fair and well-rounded, which meant one thing: my shortcomings had nothing to do with how or what I was taught but with me alone.
The realization forced me to step away from her and Ahren. Standing near her only made me feel worse. Before I could get too far, Ean was in front of me, holding out his arm.
“Long time, no see.”
I rolled my eyes. “I see you every day.” I laced my arm through his all the same.
“But we don’t get to speak. I’ve been wondering how you’re doing.”
“Excellent. Can’t you tell? I’m running around like a crazy person trying to date while being accused of faking it all, and my brother is in love with a perfect girl, and I know eventually she’s going to steal him away.”
“Steal him?”
I nodded. “When they finally do get married, which will require her mother’s express approval and a lengthy engagement to plan what will surely be the most ostentatious wedding anyone has ever seen, he’ll have to live in France with her.”
“Hmm,” he said, leading me to the dance floor and placing a hand on my waist. “I can’t do much about your brother, but, if he does end up leaving, you still have someone you can always depend on.”
“Would you happen to be speaking about yourself?” I teased, swaying to the music.
“Of course,” he replied. “My offer still stands.”
“I haven’t forgotten it.”
As I took in the room with all its trappings and important guests, it was hard to deny just how well he fit in with the crowd. Ever since Ean had arrived, he’d carried himself with a kind of poise that few people possessed. If I hadn’t known better, I would have guessed that he grew up in a palace as well.
“If there’s any truth to that article, you don’t have to torture yourself with these little boys. I will be everything you could ask for in a husband. I will be faithful, kind, and a true helper. I will never demand love from you. And I will be more than happy simply to live by your side.”
I still couldn’t understand his motivation. In some ways he could do so much better.
“I thank you again for your offer. But I haven’t given up on the Selection yet.”
Ean cocked his head to the side, smiling slyly. “Oh, but I think you have.”
“And why is that?” I tried to match his know-it-all attitude as best as I could.
“Because I’m still here. And if you were really hoping to find love, I can’t see why you would keep me around.”
We were both grinning at the audacity of his statement as I stopped dancing, pulling my hands away slowly. “I could send you home right now, you know.”
“But you won’t,” he assumed, that impish grin still plastered to his face. “You know I can give you the one thing you really want, and you’re the only one who can give me what I want.”
“Which is?”
“Comfort. Comfort in exchange for freedom.” He shrugged. “I think that’s a pretty good deal.” He bowed. “See you tomorrow, Your Highness.”
I couldn’t stand that he was probably the only person here more calculating than I was. He knew exactly what I wanted and how far I was willing to go to get it, which was irritating.
I was close to the side door of the Great Room and slipped into the hallway for a moment to be by myself. I rubbed my cheeks, so tired of smiling. It was cooler out here and much easier to think.
“Your Highness?”
Erik came down the hall in the smartest suit I’d seen him in to date. His hair was neater than usual, slightly slicked back. He looked taller, prouder. My jaw fell open at the change. He looked positively gorgeous.
“You clean up nice,” I said, trying to get my expression somewhere close to normal again.
“Oh.” He looked down. “I was aiming for appropriate.”
“You did much better than that.” I pushed myself off the wall to face him.
“You think? Hale told me I should consider thinner ties.”
I giggled. “Well, Hale is pretty gifted when it comes to style, but you look very good.”
He stood there, clearly ill at ease with the praise. “So, are you enjoying the party?”
I peeked back into the room. “It’s a success, don’t you think? Good food, excellent music, a wide range of company . . . it might be the best party I’ve ever thrown.”
“So diplomatic,” he said.
I turned back to Erik and smiled. “I feel like I’m the one competing tonight.”
“With who?” he asked, shocked.
“Camille, of course.” I looked back into the room, trying to hide behind the door as I watched. Erik came beside me, and we both followed her as she danced with Ahren across the floor.
“That’s ridiculous.”
“That’s kind of you, but I know better. She’s everything I try to be.” I’d thought this to myself before, but I’d never admitted it to anyone. I wasn’t sure how Erik managed to make me want to confide this in him.
“But why would you try to be her when Eadlyn is more than enough?”
I whipped my head back to him, as if the concept was unimaginable. I was in a constant state of striving; I was never enough.
Erik’s words nearly brought tears to my eyes, and I reached down to take his hand as I’d done in my bedroom not that long ago.
“I’m so glad I got to meet you. However this whole thing ends, I think I’ve been enlightened just by crossing paths with some of you.”
He smiled. “And I’ll never be able to express what a privilege it’s been to know you.”
I think I meant to shake his hand, but we ended up standing there, connected in silence for a while.
“Did you put your name in?” I asked suddenly. “For the Selection, I mean?”
He smiled and shook his head. “No.”
“Why not?”
He shrugged, searching for an answer. “Because . . . who am I?”
“You’re Eikko.”
He stood there, slightly dazed at the sound of his given name. Finally, he smiled again.
“Yes, I’m Eikko. But you barely know me.”
“I know Eikko as well as he knows Eadlyn. And I can tell you, you are enough as well.”
He rubbed his thumb against the back of my hand, the tiniest movement. And I could sense we were both wondering what would have happened if his name had been in one of those baskets. Maybe he’d be one of the contenders, maybe he wouldn’t have been
picked at all . . . it was hard to say if the risk would have been worth it in the end.
“I should get back in there.” I pointed over my shoulder to the party.
“Of course. See you.”
I focused on my posture and stood as tall as I could, which was much more impressive in these heels Camille brought me. I walked into the room, graciously greeting everyone with a bow of my head. I could have stopped a dozen times, but I pushed on until I found Henri.
“Hello,” he greeted.
I meant to go see him a dozen times this week. But between dating at top speed, doing damage control, and planning for Camille, I hadn’t gotten to speak to Henri at all. I could see that he was anxious, and though I was sure Erik conveyed everything I’d said, I think we both knew we needed to actually speak, just the two of us.
“Okay?” I asked.
He nodded. “And you okay?”
I nodded.
With that he let out a massive sigh, and the bright face I’d come to expect was back again. I tried to think of all the disagreements and misunderstandings I’d had in my life. There was no way any of them was ended with less than five words. But that was genuinely all I needed from Henri to know his regret at possibly offending me without wishing at all that he could take back that kiss.
Maybe Erik had nothing to worry about. Maybe Henri and I could communicate just fine.
“Dance?” I asked, pointing to the floor.
“Please!”
I was nearly as tall as him in these shoes, and he wasn’t much of a dancer, but what he lacked in grace he made up for with enthusiasm. He spun me several times and even dipped me twice. When I came up the second time, laughing, I spotted Erik over his shoulder.
I could have been wrong, but his shy smile looked a little sad.
CHAPTER 31
CAMILLE LOOKED FLAWLESS ON THE front of every paper and a few of the gossip magazines that tended to equate our family with movie stars and singers. She brightened the mood in the Women’s Room simply by sitting there, and Aunt May came to visit for a few days solely to see her.
I knew why I had problems with Josie. She was bratty and juvenile and tried so hard to be me that I felt like I had to be overly guarded when she was near. But it was more complicated with Camille. Even her perfection was a quiet thing, as if she hardly noticed it at all. So though I really, really wanted to hate her, I knew that would look much worse for me than for the sweet, unassuming French girl.
“How is your mother?” Mom asked Camille, and something about her tone made it seem like she felt obligated to inquire about Queen Daphne. It was the one subject that seemed to take any effort between them.
Mom handed her a cup of tea, and Camille happily took it, pausing as she thought through her answer.
“Very well. She wanted me to send you her love.”
“I’ve been seeing pictures of her lately, and she looks the most content I’ve ever seen her.” Mom placed her hands in her lap, smiling kindly. This comment felt more genuine.
“She is,” Camille agreed. “I don’t know what’s come over her, but she has never been more joyful. And her happiness only makes me happier.” Her eyes grew soft at the thought of her mother, and again I was forced to wonder exactly what was going on in the French palace.
“So,” Josie said, crossing her legs quite dramatically and taking over the conversation. “Any chance we’ll be hearing wedding bells in your future?”
Camille bashfully looked away, and everyone laughed.
“Perhaps,” she hedged. “I know Ahren is the one, but we both want to find the proper time.”
Miss Marlee sighed. “So I suppose in the middle of the Selection is not at the top of the list.”
“Never!” Camille laid a hand on my lap. “I wouldn’t take this moment from such a dear friend!”
Miss Marlee and Miss Lucy clutched their hands together at the thought.
“Which reminds me.” Camille straightened up. “Eadlyn, you have told me nothing. What are these boys like?”
I chuckled. “More trouble than they’re worth.”
“Oh, stop,” Mom teased.
“Please don’t tell me anything about Kile! Ick!” Josie protested. Her mother swatted her leg.
“I need an update, too!” Aunt May insisted. “I missed a lot. I saw there was a fight!”
“There was.” I rolled my eyes, remembering. “The truth is, I’m still getting to know most of them,” I admitted. “There are a few standouts, but things change from day to day, so it’s hard to measure who might be better than anyone else.”
“Measure?” Camille sounded sad. “There is no measure. Isn’t there one person who fills your heart and takes up all your thoughts?”
As she said it, a name popped into my head. And I was so surprised that anyone came to mind at all that I didn’t have time to absorb exactly who it was.
I forced myself to concentrate on the conversation. “I guess I’m just not as romantically inclined as some people.”
“Obviously,” Josie muttered under her breath.
Either Camille didn’t hear her or she dismissed it. “I believe you will find a wonderful husband. I cannot wait to see!”
The conversation drifted away, and I listened quietly. I wasn’t sure if I needed to stay in the room all day or if I was supposed to go work with Dad. It seemed like I’d been doing everything wrong lately, and I didn’t want to add to my running list of mistakes.
And I liked girl talk, but I needed a little break. I excused myself and made my way into the hall, not sure of where I would go. Fifteen minutes. I promised myself after that I’d go back and be vibrant and engaging.
By pure luck I caught Hale on his way out to the gardens, holding a tray with carafes of water on it. He saw me and broke into a giant smile.
“Where are you off to?” he asked.
“Nowhere really. Taking a break from the Women’s Room.”
“Some of the guys are playing baseball outside, if you want to come.”
I went over to the window and, sure enough, maybe eight of the boys were out there tossing a ball.
“Where did they even get that stuff?”
“Osten.”
Of course. Osten had everything. I watched the boys roll up their pant legs and slide off their dress shoes, pushing one another jovially.
“I’ve never played baseball,” I admitted.
“All the more reason to join us.”
“Can you play?”
“I’m more of a pitcher than a hitter, but I do all right. And I’ll teach you.” Hale’s face was so genuine, I really believed he’d take care of me out there.
“Okay. But I’ll probably be rotten.”
“Since when are you rotten at anything?” he said, leading us out the doorway.
Kile was there, as were Apsel, Tavish, and Harrison. Alex was there, too, and I hated to admit that I’d been very tempted to send him back to Calgary ever since Milla blabbed to the papers. I was still considering it.
Henri was stretching next to Linde, so I instinctively looked for Erik. He was there, sitting on one of the stone benches.
“Your Highness!” Edwin called, getting my attention. “Are you here to watch?”
“No, sir. I’m here to play.”
Several of the boys clapped or cheered, though I seriously doubted any of them considered me a positive addition.
“Okay, okay,” I said loudly, raising my arms. “Just keep in mind that I need to be back inside in a few minutes, and I’ve never played before. At all. But I thought I’d give it a quick go before I get to work again.”
“You’ve got this!” Tavish assured me. “Here, give me your shoes. I’ll put them by mine.”
I slipped off my heels and placed them in his hands.
“Ugh, these are heavy. How do you lift your feet?”
“Strong calves?”
He laughed and carried my shoes to the side.
“All right, Eadlyn’s up first then,”
Kile insisted.
I had a general understanding of how the game worked. Three outs, four bases. What I was lost on were the mechanics.
Hale was standing out in the middle of the diamond, practicing his pitches with Apsel. Raoul, who was going to be catching, came up behind me.
“Here’s what you need to do,” he said. He had a thick Hispanic accent, but his instructions were nice and clear. “You grab the bat here and here.” He demonstrated, clutching the bat firmly toward the bottom. “Legs apart, and keep your back foot dug into the grass, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Just watch the ball.”
“Watch the ball . . . all right.”
Raoul passed me the bat, which weighed much more than I expected. “Good luck.”
“Thanks.”
I stood at the makeshift base, trying to do everything Raoul had told me to. I supposed if Hale was pitching, then he and I were on different teams. All the same, he was grinning when he saw me in my stance.
“It’ll come in slow, okay?”
I nodded.
He threw the ball, and I swung well above it. The same thing happened the second time. I wasn’t sure what happened with the third, but I ended up spinning around.
Hale laughed and so did Raoul, and while I typically would have felt embarrassed, this didn’t seem too bad.
“Eadlyn! Eadlyn!”
I recognized my mother’s voice instantly, and I faced the open windows of the Women’s Room. Everyone was there, and I waited for her to order me back inside.
“Get them!” she yelled. “Hit it!”
Aunt May raised her arms in the air. “Go, Eady!”
The rest of the girls joined in, shouting and clapping. I laughed and turned back to Hale. He gave me a nod. I returned it, gripping the bat.
I finally connected with the ball, sending it low and to the left. I shrieked, dropped the bat so I could pick up my dress, and bolted to the first base.
“Go, Eady, go!” Kile screamed.
I saw Henri chasing the ball, so I headed to the second base, watching him the whole time. I wasn’t going to make it. Impulsively I lunged, falling into the base.
I beat him!
Everyone erupted. It wasn’t even still my turn, and it wasn’t like I’d won, but it felt huge. Suddenly, Edwin lifted me up off the ground and hugged me, swinging me around.