Read The Hench Woman's Handbook Page 4

that without looking weak. Granted, a couple of those hostages happened to be related to certain board members of Trent Corp who had just voted him out of his own company there, guys who were only there in the first place because Dexter brought them in, so you could understand why he laid the threat on a bit too thick there.

  The guys in Master Class' crew were getting antsy about the possibility of wiping out a whole slew of high school freshmen and even I wasn't totally on board with that deal." She sipped her drink, amused at the wide eyed look she was receiving across the table. "Don't be so surprised, sweetie. You got to have some standards or you wind up a total psycho. Nobody wants to work with a maniac, it's just not profitable.

  The buzz amongst the rank and file was building up something fierce and by then, most of the fellas could tell that I wasn't your typical bad guy bimbo. After enough hints and a few ideas of my own, I brought all of this to Master Class' attention. I waited until we were alone, since challenging your boss in public was only a smart move if you're planning a mutiny and I sure the hell wasn't.

  He had finished his morning workout and his steam room session, which made him sweat like a whole sty full of hogs. I had his relaxation area all prepped and was standing ready with a set of iced towels, just the way he liked them. Dexter rumbled in and flopped on the couch (which had more reinforcements than a

  military base) and grunted a thanks at me as I laid the towels on his back and head.

  I went over to the wet bar to make his favorite drink and then casually started one of the most important conversations of my life. "Hey, Honey?"

  "Yes, Margery, dear?" I only let him call me Margery and he usually did that when he was in a decent mood, a good sign to continue.

  "I've been listening to some of the shop talk around here lately and thought you should know that some of the guys are getting a little anxious about how this hostage thing is going down."

  "OH?" The towel that I put over his head slipped off as he turned to look at me. "And who in particular has the most objections to my plans?"

  I added a bowl of spiced peanuts to the tray holding his drink and set the whole deal down on the coffee table beside him. "It's not one guy in particular or any specific part of the plan, it's the not wanting to get charged with first degree murder that freaks some of them out. Especially when it comes to kids. You know what happens to people who go behind bars for that, even the perverts get more respect."

  "I never directly said or implied in writing that any of those whelps would die so if by chance a few of them met an untimely end, plausible deniability is on my side." He knocked back his scotch and soda, following up with shoving a handful of peanuts in his mouth and crunching them into dust. which he then spit into an ashcan that I quickly moved over to his end of the couch. Dexter had decent table manners in front of other people but could be a real slob in private there.

  "That's a good option for you but the rest of them really can't use that as a defense there, you know?" I was about to lay my cards on the table, so to speak, but I was in real danger of overplaying my hand. Dexter slammed down his drink and glared at me. "Perhaps, my dear, you should leave those concerns to me and mine."

  I backed off, fast. "Sure, you're right, what would I know? However..." I stopped right there and settled down on the chaise lounge over in the corner and picked up a fashion magazine that was just lying around to flip through. Halfway through some article about the best brand of mascara to buy for your honeymoon, the magazine was ripped out of my hands and Dexter was using a meaty fingertip to tilt my head up at him. "However?"

  I made my move then. "Well, since you ask me so nicely and didn't give me too many paper cuts here, my thoughts were that even your top PR boys and legal jockeys would have trouble spinning a pile of dead kids away from a trial that didn't end with you getting the death penalty. Not to mention those jokers in Hero Elite would have plenty of support from the feds and the folks in letting them take matters into their own mutant freak hands"(I know, some of those super types aren't mutants but it's easier to call them all that)and so would their little buddies overseas, you know?"

  Dexter nodded, dropping my chin. "You do have a point, Marge yet it is vital to reestablish my credibility as a true threat in the super villain community, especially after I granted mercy to that insipid fool Mighty Might during our last stand-off." He sighed. "Not wanting to destroy an enemy on their birthday is ridiculously sentimental and yet I can't help it."

  "Aw, Dex, don't keep beating yourself up over that!" I got up and rubbed his shoulders. "Like you always say, indulging in all of your appetites is only a suitable weakness for animals, not men." Flattery applied in all the right places can smooth over any rough spots in your way, girlie, remember that.

  "Yes, well, that is true. What do you suggest that I do instead that will be both empowering and less lethal to our reluctant guests?"

  That was my cue. "You're still in touch with those guys from the sixth dimension, right? Isn't one of them a big slave trader over there?"

  He nodded but didn't look at me, still into the shoulder massage that I was still giving. "Now, I don't know if their money works well with ours or not but even at a loss, wouldn't it be worth it to pack off a couple of those brats, particularly one or two related to certain parties on the Trent Corp board, just to see those smug faces of their smug bastard parents change as they wonder if their little girl is dancing on a pole for some slug monster or their precious son is getting his hands dirty working in a pit somewhere that Mommy and Daddy's connections can't reach them?"

  I slid my hands down his back for a last quick rub there before stopping to take back my magazine from where it had landed on the floor. As I sat back down, I threw in one last subtle hint. 'You know, they always say that it's the not knowing part that really makes the whole thing more of a nightmare for the parents."

  He chuckled at that, wandering around the room in deep thought. "Yes, that could be amusing on many levels, not to mention profitable. The gemstones that Procurer Tadwick loves to use as currency passes for diamonds in this reality and that market is doing exceptionally well right now. Also, having a few selected candidates placed so far out of easy reach could provide me with a bit of leverage regarding Trent Corp."

  Dexter really liked this train of thought he was on, I could tell. I held off from adding any more bits of advice, since he was coming up with plenty of good points on his own at this point. "An additional bonus would be a stronger legal defense, since I could claim that I merely asked for those children to be held for me and that a miscommunication caused them to be sold into bondage which is not illegal in that realm. Hero Elite would be nicely distracted as well, going on a rescue mission to retrieve them and could even verify that enslavement is a natural part of that society, in open court no less!" He clapped his hands and started rubbing them together, another good sign that his brain cells were all fired up there.

  I didn't want him to completely forget about me, so I whipped out a quick compliment. "Hey, I didn't think of any of that. Guess that's why you're the big boss man in every sense of the word." A sexy little wink accented that off just right.

  "Oh, my dear, I'm sure some of these conclusions would have reached you soon enough. Be a love and get Harold on the phone, would you, darling? He's my contact man for that sector of the world, so to speak, and oh, by the way..." I was halfway out the door by then but I paused, feeling that little extra emphasis in those three little words."...do feel free to drop a few hints at the water cooler about murder charges no longer being an issue. However, it's best not to be too generous with the details, yes?"

  "No problem, baby. Consider it done."

  It was hard keeping a grin off of my face as everything went down but lucky for me, Dexter wasn't checking me out on his hidden video camera as I went off to set things in motion( I kept my head down, just in case). After that, my status with Dexter went up and that little caper turned out all right in end.

  Th
e way I see it, I did those punk kids a favor by giving them something better to write about in their whiny celebrity memoirs than their twenty trips to rehab there. That little debutante who was in some lizard guy's harem and then lead that big revolution against his kingdom? She should be paying me some of that fortune she made off of her book and movie deal, if you ask me." The girl in black jumped slightly in her seat as her mentor went on a coughing fit, which ended with a gulp straight from the bottle by her side. "Don't expect thanks in this business, girlie. You'd have a better chance of catching a snowball in hell."

  3. Hone what skills you have and learn a few more

  Mike leaned in to ask if they needed anything before he took his bathroom break. His employer waved him off and remarked loudly as he headed towards the men's room "Why is it that big strong men get stuck with wimpy little baby bladders, why?" He appeared to ignore her, causing more amusement on her part. She turned back to her guest, who was offering up a sweetly nervous smile. "Enough with the happy face, honey. I'm not looking to take you home