CHAPTER II.
THE THREE ODDITIES.
The locksmith lifted his tumbler to his eye's level, admired the liquorwith pleasure, and said after sipping it with gratification:
"Bless you, yes, plenty of locksmiths at Paris."
He drank a few drops more.
"Ay, and masters of the craft." He drank again. "Yes, but there is adifference between them."
"Hang me," said the other, "but I believe you are like St. Eloi, ourpatron saint, master among the master-workmen."
"Are you one of us?"
"Akin, my boy: I am a gunsmith. All smiths are brothers. This is asample of my work."
The locksmith took the gun from the speaker's hands, examined it withattention, clicked the hammers and approved with a nod of the sharpaction of the lock: but spying the name on the plate, he said:
"Leclere? this won't do, friend, for Leclere is scanty thirty, and weare both a good forty, without meaning to hurt your feelings."
"Quite true, I am not Leclere, but it is the same thing, only a littlemore so. For I am his master."
"Oh, capital!" chuckled the locksmith; "it is the same as my saying 'Iam not the King but I am the same thing, only more so, as I am hismaster.'"
"Oho," said the other rising and burlesquing the military salute, "haveI the honor of addressing Master Gamain, the King of Locksmiths?"
"Himself in person, and delighted if he can do anything for you,"replied Gamain, enchanted at the effect his name had produced.
"The devil! I had no idea I was talking to one of the high flyers in ourline," said the other. "A man so well considered."
"Of such consequence, do you mean?"
"Well, maybe I have not used the right word, but then I am only a poorsmith, and you are the master smith for the master of France. I say," hewent on in another tone, "it can't be always funny to have a king for a'prentice, eh?"
"Why not?"
"Plain enough. You cannot eternally be wearing gloves to say to the mateon your bench: 'Chuck us the hammer or pass the retail file along.'"
"Certainly not."
"I suppose you have to say: 'Please your gracious Majesty, don't holdthe drill askew.'"
"Why, that is just the charm with him, d'ye see, for he is aplain-dealer at heart. Once in the forge, when he has the anvil to thefore, and the leathern apron tied on, none would ever take him for theSon of St. Louis, as he is called."
"Indeed you are right, it is astonishing how much he is like the nextman."
"And yet these perking courtiers are a long time seeing that."
"It would be nothing if those close around him found that out," said thestranger, "but those who are at a distance are beginning to get an ideaof it."
His queer laugh made Gamain look at him with marked astonishment. But hesaw that he had blundered in his pretended character by making awitticism, and gave the man no time to study his sentence, for hehastened to recur to the topic by saying:
"A good thing, too; for I think it lowers a man to have to slaver himwith Your Majesty here and My Noble Sire there."
"But you do not have to call him high names. Once in the workshop wedrop all that stuff. I call him Citizen, and he calls me Gamain, but Iain't what you would call chummy with him, while he _is_ familiar withme."
"That is all very well; but when the dinner hour comes round I expect hesends you off to the kitchen to have your bread and cheese with theflunkeys."
"Oh, Lor', No! he has never done that; quite the other way about, for hegets me to bring in a table all set into the workshop and he will oftenput his legs under the mahogany with me, particularly at breakfast,saying: 'I shall not bother about having breakfast with the Queen, as Ishould have to wash my hands.'"
"I can't make this out."
"You can't understand that when the King works like us, he has his handssmeared with oil and rust and filings, which does not prevent us beinghonest folks, and the Queen would say to him, with her hoity-toityprudish air: 'Dirty beggar, your hands are foul.' How can a man have afop's hands if he works at the forge?"
"Don't talk to me about that--I might have married high if I could havekept my fingers nice," sighed the stranger.
"Let me tell you that the old chap does not have a lively time in hisgeographical study or his library; but I believe he likes my company thebest."
"That is all very amusing for you, except having to endure so poor apupil."
"Poor," repeated Gamain. "Oh, no, you must not say that. He is to bepitied, to tell the truth, in his coming into the world as a king, forhe is but a man--and having to waste himself on a pack of nonsenseinstead of sticking to our art, in which he makes good way. He willnever be but a third-rate king for he is too honest, but he would havemade an excellent locksmith. There is one man I execrate for stealingaway his time--that Necker fellow, who made him lose such a lot oftime!"
"You mean with his accounts and financing."
"Ay, his fine-Nancy-ing, indeed."
"But you must make a fat thing out of such a lad to bring on."
"No, that is just where you are in error: that is why I bear a grudge tohim, Louis the Father of the Kingdom, the Restorer of the French Nation!People believe that I am rich as _Creases_, while I am as poor as Job."
"You, poor? why, what does he do with all his money?"
"He gives half to the poor and the other half is got away by hisparasites, so that he never has any brass. The Coigny, Polignac andVaudreuil families eat him up, poor dear old boy! One day he wanted tocut down Lord Coigny's appointments, and the gentleman waylaid him atour forge door: after going out for five minutes, the King came back,pale as a ghost, muttering: 'Faith, I believe he would have caned me.''Did he get the appointments reduced, Sire?' I inquired. 'I let themstand,' he said: 'what else could I do?' Another time he wanted to scoldthe Queen for giving Duchess Polignac three hundred thousand francs forthe linen for her baby, and what do you think?"
"It is a pretty sum for a baby!"
"Right you are: but it was not enough: the Queen made him give her fivehundred thousand. You have only to look how these Polignacs have got on,who had not a penny when they started in, but are running away fromFrance with millions. I should not have minded if they had any talent,but just give those neerdowells a hammer or cold chisel; they could notforge a horseshoe: give them file and screw-driver and see how theywould get on at a common lock! However, they can wag the tongue to somepurpose, since they hounded the King on so that they leave him in aquagmire. He may flounder out as best he can, with the help of GeneralLafayette and Mayor Bailly, and Lord Mirabeau. I gave him good advice,but he would not listen to me, and he leaves me with fifteen hundredlivres a-year, though I am his trainer, who first showed him to hold afile properly."
"But I suppose that when you worked with him, there were some pickings?"
"But am I working with him now? Since the Taking of the Bastile, I havenot set foot inside his palace. Once or twice I met him: the first time,as there was a crowd about in the street, he just bobbed his head; thenext, on the Satory Road, he stopped the coach for the coast was clear.'Good morning, my poor Gamain, how goes it?' he sighed. 'How goes itwith you, Sire? but I know it is rough--but that will be a lesson toyou.' 'Are your wife and children well?' he said to shift the talk. 'Allfine but with appetites like ogres.' 'You must make them a littlepresent from me.' He searched his pockets, but he could rake up onlynine louis. 'That is all I carry with me, my poor Gamain,' he said witha kind of groan, 'and I am ashamed to do so little.' Of course, it wassmall cash for a monarch to give, short of ten gold pieces, so paltry asum to a work-fellow--So----"
"You refused them?"
"Catch me? No, I said: 'I had better grab, for he will meet somebodyelse not so delicate as me, who would take them.' Still, he need notfret himself, I shall never walk into Versailles unless I am sent for,and I do not know as I shall then."
"What a grateful heart this rogue has," muttered the stranger, but allhe said aloud was: "It is very affecting, Ma
ster Gamain, to see devotionlike yours survive misfortune. A last glass to the health of your'prentice."
"Faith, he does not deserve it, but never mind! here's to his health,all the same!" He drank. "Only to think that he had thousands of bottlesin his cellar which would beat this, and he never said to a footman:Take a basket of this lush to my friend Gamain!' Not he--he would soonerhave it swilled by his Lifeguardsmen, the Swiss, or his FlandersRegiment. They did him a lot of good, I do not think!"
"What did you expect?" questioned the other, sipping his wine, "kingsare ungrateful like this one. But hush! we are no longer alone."
In fact, three persons were entering the drinking saloon, two men of thecommon sort and a fishfag, and they took seats at the table matchingthat at which Gamain and his "treater" were sitting.
The locksmith raised his eyes to them and stared with an attentionmaking the other smile. They were truly worthy of some remark.
One of the two men was all body: the other all legs: it was hard to sayanything about the woman.
All-Body resembled a dwarf: he was under five feet in hight: he may havelost an inch or so from his knees knocking although when he stood up,his feet kept apart. Instead of his countenance redeeming the deformity,it seemed to highten it;--for his oily and dirty hair was flattened downon his bald forehead; his eyebrows were so badly shaped as to seemtraced at random; his eyes were usually dull but when lighted up sheenyand glassy as the toad's. In moments of irritation, they threw outsparks like a viper's, from concentrated pupils. His nose was flat, anddeviated from the straight line so that his prominent cheek bones stoodout all the more. Lastly, to complete the hideous aspect, his yellowlips only partly covered the few, black and loose teeth in his twistedmouth.
At first glance you would say that gall, not blood, flowed in his veins.
The other was so opposed to the short-legged one that he seemed a heronon its stilts. The likeness to the bird was the closer from his headbeing lost between his humped shoulders so as to be distinguished solelyby the eyes, like blood-spots, and a long, pointed, beak-like nose. Likethe heron, too, he seemed to have the ability to stretch his neck, andput out the eyes of one at a distance. His arms also were gifted withthis elasticity, and while seated, he might pick up a handkerchiefdropped at his feet without moving his body.
The third person was ambiguous; it being difficult to divine the sex. Ifa man, he was upwards of thirty-four, wearing a stylish costume of thefishmarket stallkeepers, with lace kerchief and tucker, and goldearrings and chain. His features, as well as could be made out throughlayers of rouge and flake white, together with beauty-patches ofsticking plaster of all fancy shapes, were slightly softened as indegenerated races. As soon as one caught sight of him one wanted to hearhim speak in the hope that the voice's sound would give his dubiousappearance a stamp by which he could be classed. But it was nothing tothe purpose: his soprano voice left the curious observer still deeperplunged into doubt.
The shoes and stockings of the trio were daubed in mud to show that theyhad been tramping in the road for some time.
"Lord save us, I seem to know that woman, from having met her before,"said Gamain.
"Very likely at court," sneered the pretended workman "their mannershave been there quite a while and they have been visitors, thefishmarket dames, of late. But," he went on, pulling his cap down on hisbrow and taking up his gun, "they are here on business: consequently, wehad better leave them alone."
"Do you know them?"
"By sight. Do you?"
"I say that I have met the woman before: tell me who the men are and Imay put my finger on her name."
"Of the two men, the knock-kneed one is the surgeon, Jean Paul Marat;while the humpback is Prosper Verrieres."
"Aha!"
"Does not that put you on the right track?"
"My tongue to the dogs if it does!"
"The fishwoman is----"
"Wait, it is--but, no--impossible----"
"I see that you will not name _him_--the fish_woman_ is the Duke ofAiguillon."
At this utterance of the title, the disguised nobleman started andturned, as well as his companions. They made a movement to rise as mendo when in presence of a leader: but the pretended gunsmith laid afinger on his lips and passed them by.
Gamain followed him, believing he was in a dream.
At the doorway he was jostled by a running man, who seemed to be pursuedby a mob, shouting:
"Stop him--that is the Queen's hairdresser! stop the hairdresser!"
Among the howling and racing men were two who carried each a human headon a pikestaff. They were those of two Lifeguards, killed at Versaillesin defending the Queen from the mob.
"Halloa, it is Leonard," said the strange workman, to the fugitive.
"Silence, do not name me," yelled the barber, dashing into the saloon.
"What do they chase him for?" inquired Gamain.
"The Lord knows," was the response: "maybe they want him to curl thehair of the poor soldiers. In Revolutionary times, fellows have suchquaint fancies!"
He mixed in with the throng, leaving Gamain, from whom he had probablyextracted all he wanted, to make his way alone to his workshop atVersailles.