Chapter Twelve
One can travel only so far without wonder.
January 18, 997 R.E.
The ashen grasses of Jaden’s dream fell forward, crushed under the gale-force winds ravaging the land. They were stranded—helpless against the storm’s might as their fight for survival was threatened by what should have brought them life. Jaden walked on, trying to find shelter, powerless to do anything for the grasses. Like them, he was alone in this unforgiving place. Even the sunlight had disappeared from this world. The sickening orange glow had gone beyond the dark ocean, replaced by a cold grey that devoured any remaining light there was. The sky bore a giant scar, a great tear through its fabric. It was the source of the cold grey, a jagged strip of luminous white that stretched as far as he could see.
There was only suffering here, no refuge to be found. Everything was dying, and all that he could do was watch it fade before him.
He started to panic. He could feel the pressure building in his chest. He had to do something, get somewhere. With each step he took, it became harder and harder to breathe. He had to get away, had to break free of the chains that held him here. The spirits of old that seemed to dwell in these lands would not allow him rest while he remained. But no matter how far he ran or how much he wanted to be free, he was met with only more fields of broken grasses, more of the barren wasteland, more of the danger that lurked around him.
He began to cough violently as he reached the familiar hill, but this time he failed to remain standing, feeling strangely weakened as he collapsed onto his knees. Determined, he crawled forward a little before more fits of coughing took over him. A shadow passed above, blanketing out even the light in the sky, and the earth began to tremble. The wind howled as it gained in strength and a rumble became so loud it deafened him. He fought hard to look up, to hold back the coughing and see what was around him.
A chance at survival.
The young boy with black hair had returned and was standing several yards ahead with his back turned. Jaden had to get to the boy, to tell him to stop what he was doing, to find peace somehow and allow all else to exist. He couldn’t destroy all that there was for his own hate.
Jaden tried to crawl forward, managing a couple of feet before needing to rest. The winds had changed direction, now blowing against him. He had to use all of his strength just to move an inch. But no matter how hard he tried, they would not allow him to move any further forward, the elements boasting far greater power than he did.
Suddenly his heart felt as if it had been gripped in a vice. His chest seemed to be collapsing from the pressure. He tried to cry out, to scream in agony, but no sound came. The invisible bonds that had turned the blood in his veins to ice had paralysed him again, melting seconds later and allowing him to stand. A powerful blast of wind knocked him high into the air. He rolled down the hill, sustaining little injury as the grasses padded his fall. Kneeling as he held his chest with his left arm, he looked back up the hill. He could only just make out the figure of the boy ahead.
How could he reach him? It seemed impossible. He would be frozen in fear whenever he was too close to the boy. The boy had a power, something strong enough to control another’s mind and body. But somehow Jaden knew he couldn’t give up. He had to keep trying.
As he was about to stand, he felt a presence next to him. It came as an invisible being at first, a force not of this world, but as he looked to his right, he saw that it was a young woman in light, draped garments, grey under the light that still remained. She looked several years older than him and had long sun-streaked brown hair, beautifully shaped features, tanned skin and an athletic frame. She held the appearance of one who spent most of her time outdoors, living in the wilderness, but possessed the beauty and refinement of royalty. If she were decorated in jewels and gold, she would have resembled a queen, but she wore nothing except the draped robes that blew slightly behind her in the wind.
There was something very strange about her. Her hair and clothes were affected by the wind, but nothing else. She was immune to this world’s hazards, able to move freely as if there were nothing here of danger.
Jaden’s blood had seemingly frozen again, unable to even turn his head anymore. He could feel the spears moving around him, but now they were flying in random orbits. He braced himself for the pain that would soon come as they began to lightly jab at his consciousness. The woman could help him. He was not alone this time. He tried to call out to her, but still couldn’t even manage a whisper. Why wasn’t she doing anything?
He gained movement in his neck again, able to look up to see a minute ball of white circling him. It travelled quickly and faded out before it left his vision, but returned shortly after with a new rotation. More of these balls began to circle him, shooting around and sometimes through him. They felt hot as they passed through his flesh, and they inflicted the same pain as the spears had. He soon realised that these tiny balls of light were what he had been feeling. They were the spears, and now there were hundreds of them all around him. They blocked his vision from the greater danger in the distance, a rush of air so powerful it lifted up the ground itself, dust and rock now flying in a circular motion as if he were inside a giant tornado, and its outer edges were collapsing in toward him. He did not see it until it was only twenty yards beyond the boy.
Jaden had to save the boy.
The boy wasn’t moving, not even flinching in the dust storm. Jaden tried to signal for the woman to go help him. She was his only hope. But the woman no longer stood nearby. She was gone, seemingly vanished into the darkness from which she came.
It was up to him. He had to do something. The dust was almost upon the boy. Jaden managed to move his right foot forward, and then his left as he almost stood, but fell forward as another blast of wind hit him. It held him down so that he was lying at the bottom of the hill, unable to do anything more than watch as the dust storm whipped the boy away in its merciless fury. It then seemed to turn its attention on him and move in for a second kill. But his fighting spirit was gone with the boy, and he sat there, motionless.
As the final yard was closed between them, he screamed out in agony and lost his grip from the ground, taken up into the darkness of no return.
He woke then from the recurring haunted dream, his head still against the log as he tossed and turned, crying out as if still in the grip of the storm. He quieted and held his chest tightly—his cheek firmly pressed against the ground as he rolled over and curled his body. For the next few minutes he did not move, breathing deeply to help soften the sharp pains still inside him.
He opened his eyes. Morning had come. Thick cloud cover blocked the sun, making him think for one terrible moment he had woken to the same dreamed reality. It had been the worst dream yet, leaving him feeling drained of all energy and suffering from a burning fever. He began to cough uncontrollably. The sickness was getting worse again. Before he could seek revenge, he would have to get to the mountain toward the two highest peaks, where his grandfather had said the water was good. Jaden had since decided this meant that the water would heal him. It had to be the cure. That’s why Vennoss had instructed him to go there after learning of the sickness.
Jaden sat up as the coughing slowed. His stomach was aching. He hadn’t eaten anything since finishing off the rations the day before. He looked about the clearing for something edible. There were many shrubs and trees, a few vines tangled between them, but nothing of use to him. It had been the same for the entire way he had travelled, with very little even resembling a source of food. He stood up to walk to the stream. At least, he would be able to drink fresh water.
He took no more than two steps before coming to a stop.
A difference. The clearing was not as he remembered it. He was not alone here anymore.
Slowly, he turned to his left.
She was here.
The woman from the dream was here. She was sitting on the other side of the stream near the large rock, seemingly meditating
. Her hair and skin were the same as they had been in the dream, her outdoors look was strangely clean and her features were soft and beautiful, but the garments she wore were different, in more detail now. She was wearing a dark blue dress that was loose below her waist, but tightened with smooth material above, and her shoulders were covered with a loose-fitting brown coat, with its sleeves rolled to her elbows. They were nothing like the draped clothes of the dream.
She was sitting cross-legged with her hands resting in front of her knees, seemingly oblivious to Jaden’s careful approach. He made as little sound as possible as he walked toward her, like a cat stalking prey that it had never encountered before. He was wary of her, cautious, unable to understand how she had entered the most sacred of places. She had been an intruder inside his mind. How had she managed to get there?
Accidentally Jaden kicked a stone. Thinking he had disturbed her, he froze, but she had not even stirred, so deep she must have been in her trance. He continued forward when he thought it safe and reached the part of the stream in front of her. He sat down facing her, sitting in the same position but with his eyes open. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. For a moment, he sat in awe, staring at her in disbelief. He did not understand how such beauty could have existed.
But this was not all that troubled him. Little of this woman’s presence made any sense. She was an outdoorswoman, her skin darker than his, but it and her clothing were perfectly clean. He was covered in dirt and muck from travel, while she did not seem to have a mark on her. Who was she? What was she doing here? Why hadn’t she woken him from his nightmare?
A thousand questions raced through his mind, but there was only one answer to them all, and he was going to find out for sure, now.
‘This is a beautiful place,’ he said, deciding she was more than aware of him being there.
The woman sat perfectly still, without giving even so much as a smile in response to his statement.
Jaden waited several seconds, giving her ample time to reply. ‘It is a shame we’ll have to leave it,’ he said sadly, pausing for another few seconds. ‘The Alliance attacked my home. They will be coming here soon. They leave nothing behind. They will kill us if they find us here.’
Still this woman made no sign of hearing him speak, as if she were in a deep sleep, so far away that she could not be reached, even if he was to get up and try to physically get her attention. She was solid as a rock, but her breath showed that she was alive. This was not new to Jaden. He too had been taught how to meditate to the exclusion of all else around him. That this woman knew of these methods only made him believe even more strongly that he was right.
‘But you’re not going anywhere, are you?’ he asked. ‘You aren’t afraid of an army … or ten. They can’t do anything to you.’
Jaden paused once more. He had to have been right. There was no other answer to it.
His voice softened as his stare dropped to the stream, and then to his feet. ‘My home was attacked a few days ago. There was only one there to try to save us. If you were so close, why didn’t you come? We needed your help. My people…’ Jaden blinked away a tear. ‘My family is dead. I’ve lost them. Where were you?’
He waited. Although he knew she would not, he hoped she would reply. He could feel the memories coming back to him, the emotions he had felt as he witnessed the horror of the attack. It always seemed too real whenever he allowed himself to think of it, as if it were happening to him again and again.
‘Why do you stand by while the innocent suffer? You were meant to protect us. You were meant to stop the Alliance,’ he said, tears now starting to run freely and his voice failing from the anguish he held inside.
He started to think back to the dream, when he had first seen this woman. She had been powerful enough to withstand the elements, to move freely while he was frozen in place. While he ached and screamed out, she had walked through it all without a care. She had been invincible to the chaos, and yet she had done nothing for him or the boy even in the dream.
‘What are you doing here?’ Jaden asked, now with anger in his voice. ‘Why have you come … to help a poor, lost, wandering child? I don’t need your help. You had your chance. You could have saved my family. You could have saved my home. You have nothing I want.’
Jaden looked up at the woman, hoping to see sympathetic eyes looking back, but she had not moved at all and her eyes were still closed. As he saw this, he let his head drop and he too closed his eyes. It was too much. He couldn’t handle the pain anymore. He just wanted to give up, to be alone and to get away from everything there was.
This woman was Daijuarn. It was the only possibility that made sense, and if the Daijuar were not going to fight for the innocent against the Alliance, why should he even try?
Ever since he was a child, he had wished to meet one of the Daijuar, but now that he sat only a few feet across from one, he didn’t care. His childhood fantasies had disappeared with the world he had thought he knew. And now he realised all was hopeless. There was nothing left for him, nothing worth fighting for. It had been a tragedy that should never have happened. Now it was all gone, and he was more alone than he had ever been in his entire life, betrayed by even the hope that the Daijuar were at least still on this planet helping those weaker than them.
Jaden sat in silence. The tears stopped and his thoughts became steady. He wasn’t sure what had come over him, why he had felt the emotions so strongly all of a sudden. He knew he couldn’t give up. For the little purpose there was in living, there was even less in his death. At least now he knew how the Daijuar felt about the problems of the world. He couldn’t rely on them, but he could rely on those in Corsec—the men and women already fighting for what they believed to be right in the Resistance. That’s where he would go. That’s what he would do. He would continue on his journey, just as he had planned when he left Callibra the day before.
‘I’m going,’ he said. ‘I don’t need your help.’
Jaden stood, looked once more at the woman, and then turned to walk away.
‘There are fruit trees behind you.’
She had spoken. He almost didn’t understand what had been said. He had expected her to say nothing, even as he left the clearing. Had she purposely ignored him?
‘Now you speak,’ he said. ‘Tell me why you didn’t come to protect us. I know you are of the Daijuar.’
There was no answer. The woman was silent again. She would not honour his questions.
Jaden felt his stomach growl in anticipation at the mention of food, and walked toward the trees the woman had mentioned, thinking of her voice. It was soft and confident but almost with a hint of anger, even though she showed no sign of feeling any rage toward him. Her appearance had not changed at all. Her mind was stronger than he had first expected. To be able to remain in such a meditative state without reacting to anything he had said was a sign of years of practice. He would need to find a different means of retrieving the information he wanted from her.
He reached the place where the woman had directed him and soon found that there were several trees only twice his height clustered with little green fruits. He had missed them earlier because he had never seen them before. He hadn’t known what to look for. He picked one and held it up, putting it to his nose. It smelled sweet, like nothing else he had ever eaten. Inside was a yellow flesh with a taste that was tangy, but sweet like it had smelled. After the first two, he soon couldn’t control his hunger and began to eat as many as he could. He lost track of time as he took his fill from the trees, almost forgetting that the woman was even nearby.
As he finished, he walked back to the stream to wash his hands, thinking of what the woman had said to him. She must have heard everything, but she had spoken calmly to him, as if all of his problems had been because of an empty stomach. He started to remember that no traveller had ever spoken of what the Daijuar were like in person. He hadn’t known what to expect. He only knew of their abilities on the battlefield, som
e of the power they possessed and what they fought for. He had wanted her to be angry with him, to feel some of the pain he had endured. But she had not responded at all, invincible to his attacks. Although he wanted answers from her, he decided it best not to push for them. He would simply leave her as she was.
He washed his hands, thinking it over. She would not feel guilt or shame for not helping his people. She had seen things from all over the world. She would have fought in countless battles. The world she knew must have been vastly different place to the one he had grown up in.
She was of the Daijuar.
But despite his resolve and wishing to walk away, he couldn’t go. He had to learn more of who she was, more about the Daijuar. He couldn’t pass this opportunity, not when it was right before him. Few people had ever had this chance. No matter how bitter or how hurt he felt he had to take it while he could.
He sat down again opposite her, studying her for a time. He needed to think of something he could say that would make her respond to him. She had already shown she would not answer questions of why she had not helped, and that his tears meant little. Emotional distress would not work. He had to find a different approach. There was only one thing he could be sure of … she was still here. She had not attempted to hide herself from him or walk away. Why did she stay? What did she want from him? Was she here simply because this was her home?
Jaden looked over the smooth flawless features of the woman sitting in front of him.
‘Do you have a name?’ he asked.
The woman opened her eyes, revealing blue so deep it made even the sapphire stream look grey. For a time, he could not tell how long, Jaden was locked in her gaze, helpless to do anything but stare back. Her eyes soothed him as much as they frightened him, played as much as they fought, inspired happiness as much as sadness. She was as beautiful as she was terrifying, and suddenly the world did not seem to hold as much colour. Next to her, nothing seemed as vibrant or alive, but all seemed more wondrous in her presence, as if her very being was enough to make him question all that he saw.
Jaden tried to break the lock, to stop her from staring into him, from reading him, but was still powerless against his curiosity of her.
‘A name,’ he managed to say, ‘do you have one?’
The woman’s stare was stern but without much emotion. There was not even a hint of happiness or anger in her eyes.
‘My name is Raquel,’ she said, her voice now softer, almost a whisper.
‘Why didn’t you answer my questions before?’
‘Sometimes it is better to let someone speak than to give them answers.’
‘Then will you tell me now why you did not help?’
‘I will tell you what you need to know. No more.’
Jaden felt agitated. ‘Why not?’ he asked sharply.
‘There is much one can hear, and much one cannot,’ said Raquel.
‘I am ready for anything,’ Jaden protested. ‘You can tell me.’
‘If you are ready, then why do you hurt?’
Jaden paused, questions racing through his mind as he attempted to understand the woman. She sat contentedly looking back directly into his eyes, unflinching, allowing him the time he needed.
‘You will use my pain against me?’ he asked.
‘You will use it against yourself.’
‘You speak as if you know who I am better than I do,’ said Jaden challengingly.
‘Sometimes who we are is more than what we can see.’
There was silence, Jaden lost in questions once more. He understood her. Her philosophy was similar to what his grandfather had taught him. He didn’t want to understand her, but he did. And even though he did not agree entirely, he knew what she said was true, and there was nothing he could say to oppose it and prove otherwise to her right now. He would have to give in and let her have the final word. She had beaten him, for now.
‘Then tell me how you were in my dream,’ he said.
‘I have been with you through the night. You saw me before you slept.’
Jaden lowered his eyes, breaking the lock between them for the first time. ‘It can’t be that simple,’ he said.
‘The truth is not always easy to accept; it must wait until you are ready.’
‘You’re right,’ said Jaden, shaking his head and conceding defeat. There was no purpose in fighting this woman. She was beyond his years in more than just age. But he would contain his frustration around her. He remembered that this was his chance to learn from her, from someone seemingly wiser than himself. He would be a fool to let it slip by for the sake of being right. ‘But why are you here?’
‘I am going north,’ she said.
‘Can I walk with you?’
‘You do not wish for my help,’ Raquel reminded.
‘I would not mind some company,’ he said.
Raquel seemed to consider this by holding his gaze, her eyes curiously intense from beneath her dark outward-curving brows. She smiled. ‘You may,’ she said.
Jaden could not return the smile, but strangely felt more at ease knowing he would not have to make the journey alone.
‘We should leave soon,’ he said. ‘I want to get to the two highest peaks.’ He coughed as he stood, as if thinking of his destination had returned the sickness. ‘I’m sorry, I’m not well.’
‘I know,’ said Raquel, simply, closing her eyes once more.
‘Are you coming?’ asked Jaden.
‘Lead the way,’ she said. ‘I will follow.’
Jaden looked unsure, puzzled by her actions, or lack of them. He reluctantly turned to begin walking without her, deciding it was better not to stand around and ask her questions she would not answer. Every ten yards, he glanced over his shoulder to see if she was following as she said she would, but even by the time he had reached the end of the clearing, she still hadn’t moved from where she was. He wasn’t sure if he was to trust her. She said she would follow, he reminded himself, but were the Daijuar bound by their word, or was this a game to her?
He had said he did not want her help. It would be a sign of weakness if he were to turn around now and ask her to come. It would seem as if he were begging, in great need of her company. He would not show her that, no matter how much he suddenly wanted her to come with him. He couldn’t let her win again.
With a final bout of coughing, he pushed through the trees and made his way in the direction of the two highest peaks. He had forgotten to take a last look from the top of the rock in the clearing, but thought he could remember well enough. Besides, he couldn’t go back now, even if it were to know the right direction. It would have seemed an excuse to make sure she was following.
Most of the day passed without sign of Raquel, just a seemingly endless forest with various animals scurrying away from him as he passed. He didn’t notice them though, too lost in his thoughts about what had happened in the clearing. He had felt strange there, not entirely himself. His emotions had intensified, and he had been even faster to anger than he had been in the most important of tennagen matches. There was something more about the woman that bothered him than he first thought, but he was not quite sure what it was. It was not that she was not kind to him, or that she bordered on insulting him at times, but something else, something deeper that he did not like. Her manner was disciplined and her intention appeared good. This was usually enough to earn his respect and praise, but that this woman acted as if she knew him made him tense. She had never met him before, but she spoke as if she had been there at his birth. Was this the way of the Daijuar? Were they able to know a person simply by sight alone? Or had she really been in his mind?
Someday, he thought, if he was ever to see her again, he would ask her. She probably wouldn’t answer him, under the pretext of him not being ready, as she had done with his other questions. How could she know what he was ready for? He knew he was ready. He had lost everything. There was nothing he could not hear anymore. Nothing really mattered. Why would she hold information from hi
m?
Darkness soon fell around him as he searched out a place to spend the night. There were patches in the clouds now, allowing the light of the rings to shine through, and giving him more time to seek out a place he could shelter out of the rain if it were to come. He found what he was looking for a few hours later; a small rock formation that had prevented the trees from covering the area.
He sat on the dirt against one of the rocks that had a ledge, wishing he hadn’t left his backpack and rifle in the clearing, as he was unable to find a smooth surface or a well-sized cave he could use to sleep. He then closed his eyes, letting countless images flow through his thoughts without thinking too long on any.
It was not until the early hours that he became awake at a sound and the strange sensation that he was being pulled toward something. He searched unsuccessfully in the dark for what had caused the disturbance, waiting patiently for his eyes to become used to the night.
Suddenly a blue glow appeared in front of him, shining brightly at first before dimming to a faint light. It revealed Raquel sitting in front of him, holding the strange light in place as if by strings between her hands. Jaden then saw that she held a silver chain that was attached to the light.
‘What is that?’ he asked.
‘It is a crystal that allows you to see,’ she said, focusing on the object that the light seemed to be emanating from.
‘See what?’
‘Anything you wish to see.’
Jaden leaned forward, studying the crystal as much as he could. ‘I don’t understand,’ he said.
Raquel looked up from the crystal and into his eyes, a devious smile on her lips. She then reached out and fixed the chain around his neck.
‘Place it between your eyes,’ she said. ‘Think of what you would like to see.’
Jaden picked up the crystal to study it. It was fitted inside a diamond-shaped silver casing, but other than that, it was quite unremarkable. He looked back up at Raquel, who reassured him with a nod, and with shaking hands he placed it where she had said.
The instant it touched his skin, he felt a sharp jolt as if he had been thrown back up against the rock he had leaned against. Darkness consumed his world as he was sent spiralling into oblivion. He came to an abrupt halt soon after, landing heavily on a smooth stone surface. His body ached from the impact. It had felt real. His arm was hanging over the side as wind began to blow his hair wildly about, and he looked ahead of him. He was hundreds of feet in the air, almost at the very top of an old building that had been worn down over centuries. The sky was grey with jagged clouds, seeming as broken as the vast city around him. He looked behind him where the moonlight shone down over the building he had landed on, and then he began to question where he was.
For a moment, he had forgotten what had happened. Now he remembered Raquel had sent him here.
What had she done to him?
He got up and turned to make his way into the single door behind him, hoping to explore this strange place. The door led him into a corridor and the sound of the wind died away as he ventured deeper within it. He continued forward along the hallway that seemed to have no end, and it felt as if he had walked further than the building was wide. A light appeared then in the distance. He walked toward it, the sound of falling water meeting his ears as he neared. Familiar fragrances wafted around him then and he exited the building to a beautiful golden dusk at his beloved waterfall in Callibra. He looked around to see the dark rocks, green grasses, the many sandstone houses and the Gates at the entrance to the village. This was his home as he remembered it from his childhood.
This had been his favourite place to be at this time, a calming wind crossing over him and birds flying freely overhead, making their way to wherever it was that they went. For the first time since the attack, he truly felt at peace.
Jaden knelt to the ground, touching the smooth, soft stems of grass with his fingertips before reaching further down and running them along the dirt below. He could feel every grain, every sharp and dull edge that there was. It was perfect. It was exactly as it had been. He then looked down over the houses, hoping to see his friends coming toward him or the people moving about during their daily routines, but his heart soon sank. The houses were empty. He knew that, somehow. This was what Raquel had meant. Somehow the crystal was allowing him to see this, as if it was perfectly real and he was really back where he belonged.
But it was not real. It was an illusion, nothing more.
Jaden closed his eyes, trying to escape the crystal’s realm, and was soon rewarded as he felt Raquel taking his hands and pulling them toward her. He left the crystal’s world the same way he had entered it, seemingly falling from nowhere into the same, and he looked at her, a tear welling in each eye.
‘I want to go home,’ he said, closing his eyes.
Raquel let the crystal fall around his neck and held his hands in hers.
‘I know,’ she said, somehow easing his pain with two words, and both became silent for the remainder of the night.