“I think she would have liked the fact that we’re here together,” he said.
“Me too,” I said slowly. “Me too.”
“I still dream about her,” he said softly, a faraway look in his eyes. “I don’t know what that means, but I think it’s a good thing.” Then he shook his head. “Hey, enough of this. Let’s go grab the final two members of our party and have some fun. What do you say?”
“Let’s do it!” I gave him a big smile, trying to push Kristen out of my mind. Trying to push away the fact that Ben was dreaming about her, while I, her best friend, only had nightmares.
We arrived at the Hollow Ball by eight fifteen, and the reception hall was beautiful, done in pale blue, off-white, and silver decorations. You never could have guessed that it was normally a convention center.
Beth looked amazing in her black dress, and Grant was adorable and funny. Between him and Ben, none of us could go longer than five minutes without laughing.
I caught a glimpse of Uri once, holding a can of Coke in one hand, and he gave me a brief nod. I smiled back at him, before catching up with Beth and Grant again. The only thing missing was Cyn, and I realized that I really was missing her.
“Hey,” I said to Beth in between songs. “Do you know where Cyn is? Did she come?”
Beth swayed to one side, with her arms up above her head as a pounding beat started. “Haven’t seen her.”
“Oh.” I cast another glance around. “I’m going to check outside. See if she’s smoking.”
Beth nodded, barely noticing when I left. She seemed to be having a ton of fun with Grant. It looked like she’d made the right choice.
The cool night air bit into all of the more exposed parts left behind by the skimpy material of my dress when I stepped outside, and I shivered. It didn’t look like anyone was out here.
I thought about calling Caspian. To see what he was doing, and see if he was missing me as much as I was missing him. It was almost like I was split in two. One part of me was having a great time being here with Ben and seeing Beth so happy, getting this chance to have this time with my friends was more than I could have ever hoped for.
But the other part of me longed to be home with Caspian. To be waiting as the clock turned to midnight …
A loud voice from the alley beside me caught my attention, and I saw a girl in a pink dress trying to practically climb on top of a boy standing next to her. The boy moved, distancing himself, and I saw a flash of gray.
Ben?
“Ginger, don’t. I’m here with someone else.”
His words confirmed that it was him, and I tried to shrink back into the shadows. If I could see them, they could probably see me. And I didn’t want that.
“But don’t you want to?” her drunken voice slurred. “I’ve been waiting all night for you. Come ’ere. Just give me a li’l kiss …”
“Ginger. I’m serious. I said—”
I moved out of the shadows then. “Ben?” I called. “Ben, I was looking for you. You promised me the next dance.” I walked over to him, and the girl, Ginger, was practically falling out of her dress. Her hair and makeup looked awful. I had a brief twinge of compassion for her.
“He’s mine, bish,” she said, moving clumsily toward me and trying to stand up straight. “Go fine your own man somewhere else, ho.”
Compassion? Gone.
Ben gently moved her to the side. “She’s right, Ginger. Are you going to be okay out here?”
“You’re leaving me? Leaving all of this?” She looked outraged, but still managed to flounce her hair. “Fine. Whatevs. Bye.”
Turning to totter clumsily back to the front door, she left Ben and me standing there. I managed to wait a whole thirty seconds before bursting out into laughter.
“You know how to pick ’em, Ben.” I said. “Another ex?”
“Regretfully,” he replied. “Ready for another dance?”
“If you can handle all of this,” I said with a snort of laughter.
We went back inside, where the DJ was announcing that the next song was “for the ladies.” I turned to Ben. “You ready for another dance, sexay man?” He brushed imaginary dust off the collar of his suit, and did a silly move with his hands.
“I was born ready.”
I took his outstretched hand and followed him to a clearing on the dance floor. Ben put his arms around my waist, and I hugged his neck. A slow intro had already begun to play, and the space around us quickly filled in with the crush of eager bodies.
I laid my head against his shoulder and closed my eyes. Ben was a good guy, a really good guy, but he wasn’t the one for me. And we both knew it.
I lifted my head after a couple seconds of moving back and forth, and stared up at him. “You know, you really are a great person, Ben,” I said. “I don’t know if I’ve ever told you that, but you are.”
He looked down. “Thanks, Abbey. You’re pretty great too.”
“I’m really glad I had the chance to get to know you better,” I said. “And for the record, I think that you and Kristen would have made a great couple. I wish you could have had that.”
“Me too,” he said softly, and I laid my head back down on his shoulder.
We were almost to the end of the song when a sudden melancholy filled me. Sorrow, clear and striking, came over me, and it wasn’t just the slow music or the soft lyrics.
Somehow I knew that this was the last time I’d see Ben.
I slowed my movements, and came to a halt, moving my hands from his neck to his arms. “Ben,” I said urgently, “I want you to have the best of everything. Everything that life has to offer. The best school, the best job, the best house, the best wife, the best kids, the best family … Make yourself happy, okay?”
He glanced down. I was gripping the sleeves of his suit. “Okay, Abbey. But isn’t it a bit early for this? I mean, graduation isn’t for another six months.”
“I know. But I just want … Just be happy. I just want you to be happy.”
He gave me a strange look. “Let’s save the well wishes for—”
A teary-eyed Beth suddenly pushed her way through the crowd and interrupted us. Immediately I came to a halt and reached out a hand for her. “What’s wrong?” I asked over the noise. “What happened? Are you okay?”
“It’s Grant. I never should have brought him!”
I pulled her over to the side of the dance floor, and Ben followed us.
“What happened?” he asked.
“Something with Grant,” I yelled over the music. Thinking it would be a bit quieter away from the main stage, I left Ben behind and dragged Beth over to a table. I put my arms around her as she tried to stop crying. Her shoulders shook pitifully.
“What happened, sweetie?” I said. “Can you tell me?”
“He’s an asshole,” she said. “He was making out with this drunk girl outside. I went to go find you, and found him instead.” She burst into sobs again. “I never should have picked him over Lewis!”
Ben came over just in time to hear the last part. “I’ll go find him,” he said, his tone menacing.
“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Beth said suddenly. Pushing herself away from me, she stood up straight and fixed her hair. “I don’t need him. I’m going to call Lewis.”
Before I had a chance to stop her, she was pulling out her phone from her bag. She turned away from me, and I could hear her talking. A minute later she turned back and snapped her phone shut. “Great. Lewis can’t come. He’s home with his sick little brother and can’t leave him.”
She looked so miserable that I wanted to do whatever I could to make it all better. I glanced over at Ben. “Can you call the limo company?”
“Yeah, sure.” He pulled out his phone. “On it.”
After ten minutes of waiting, Ben finally talked to someone and made arrangements for the limo driver to come back early.
“We’ll all head out now,” I said. Then I looked at Ben. “Unless you want to stay?”
“I can’t let you guys leave your senior prom early because of me,” Beth protested. “I’ll be fine. I can just get a ride back on my own.”
I shared a glance with Ben. “I’ll go with her,” he said automatically.
Beth started to protest again, but I wouldn’t let her.
“At least you stay, then, Abbey,” she said, “so Ben can come back and you guys can have fun.”
“No. I—”
“Please?” She looked heartbroken, and I couldn’t help but give in.
“Okay. Fine. Whatever.”
“Okay, good.” She wiped the tears off her face.
Ben’s phone vibrated, and he looked down at it. “That’s the limo company. They’re here.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I asked Beth again.
“I’m a little embarrassed, but I’m fine,” she said. “You stay here. Have a good time.” She gave me a hard look, then suddenly hugged me. “Take care of yourself, Abbey,” she said quietly. “Okay?”
“Yeah, okay.” I pulled back from her. It was a strange thing for her to say, but she was already turning toward Ben. “Ready?”
He held out his arm, and she took it.
“Try not to take advantage of her tonight, okay, Ben?” I said with a smile, watching them go. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
“I’ll be an absolute gentleman,” Ben called back, with a roguish wink. “See you in an hour.”
Beth waved at me, and they disappeared through the doors.
I was still on the dance floor when the next song came on. Within seconds My Chemical Romance’s “The Ghost of You” was playing.
I stood there, the bass growing louder, the beat growing harder. The lyrics were haunting, and they echoed in my ears as my eyes closed. The song took over, and I found myself swaying in time to the music as I sang along. “At the end of the world, or the last thing I see … You are, never coming home, never coming home … Never coming home, never coming home.”
It was then that I realized I was crying. Swiping both hands across my cheeks, I rubbed away the tears, and bits of my makeup, before going back to the table where my purse was waiting. I wanted to go home. Caspian was there while I was here, and it was almost … I glanced down at my phone. Almost midnight.
I shot a quick look around me, but I didn’t see Cacey or Uri to ask if they could give me a ride, and I wasn’t about to hang around waiting. I didn’t know how long Beth and Ben would be. Maybe I can walk.
Putting my phone back into my purse, I was pulling my hand away from it when all of a sudden it buzzed. I didn’t recognize the number.
“Hello?”
“Abbey? Hey, it’s Cyn. I know this is kind of weird, but … were you just going to call me?”
A creepy feeling settled at the back of my neck. I laughed weakly. “Are you stalking me, Cyn? I was just trying to see who I could call. I need a ride home from the dance.”
“I’ll explain everything when I get there,” she said. “Wait outside.”
While I waited for Cyn, I texted Ben that I was getting a different ride home, and she pulled up in a silver Audi about five minutes later.
“New car?” I asked, one eyebrow raised. “Holy crap, Cyn. You were holding out on me.”
She unlocked the passenger side. “It’s not mine. I … borrowed it. For the evening.”
I climbed in. The interior was all sleek black leather and chrome gadgets. She gunned the motor, laughing as I frantically scrabbled to grab hold of the seat belt. “You really do have a thing for cars, huh?” I said.
“You don’t know the half of it. It’s sort of a hobby of mine.”
I slid a hand over the smooth dashboard in front of me in awe. “Seriously, Cyn. Where did you get this? Is it rented?”
“No. It’s not rented. I told you, I borrowed it.”
The way she said “borrowed” made me feel unsettled. “We’re not going to get pulled over because we’re riding in a boosted car, are we?” I said seriously. “I really don’t need that right now.”
“There won’t be any cops.”
I shot her a look.
“Trust me,” she said. “I do this sort of thing all the time.”
“You steal cars all the time?” I knew my jaw was hanging open.
“Not steal. Okay, technically, steal. But I see it more like borrowing. I always return it in the morning. And they never know.”
“They never know? You wouldn’t happen to be friends with Kame, would you? Or Sophie? What about Cacey and Uri?”
“Who?” She frowned, and I tried to read her face. Tried to see if she was bullshitting me. “I don’t know any of those people.”
I looked at her closely.
“Honest. I really, truly don’t,” she said.
“Then, what do you mean, ‘they never know’?”
She shrugged. “It’s sort of a gift that I have. I tell someone that I want to borrow their car, and they give it to me. Then I tell them that I’ll return it in the morning, and they don’t remember a thing. It just kind of … works.”
My life was getting entirely too complicated for this new piece of information. “Are you casting some sort of spell on them?” I joked.
She gazed at me. “If I said yes, what would you think?”
“Honestly?” I looked out the window before I answered. We were almost to my house. “I’m surprisingly open-minded.”
“I don’t really know if that’s what it is,” she confessed. “A spell, or whatever. All I know is that I get these feelings. Like the one tonight, to call you. That, and the fact that plants seem to like me. Maybe I am a little bit witchy.”
My house came into sight, and I was completely relieved. Normally I would have been happy to stay and talk to her about the freaky thing she had going on, but right now all I could think about was Caspian.
She pulled into the driveway and put the car into park. I unlocked my door and put one hand on the handle. “If you want to talk about it later, just call me. I’d stay now, but I have … something else that needs to be taken care of.”
She glanced at the house. It was dark, except for a single light in the kitchen, and then she nodded. I opened the door and got out of the car.
“Thanks for the ride, Cyn,” I turned back to say.
She winked at me. “Have fun, Abbey.”
I was left standing there with what must have been a confused look on my face as she pulled away. Does she know about Caspian? There’s no way …
I squared my shoulders and turned back to the house. Something told me that even if Cyn did have an idea of what was going on, she wasn’t going to tell anyone. At least not anytime soon.
I glanced down at my phone again, feeling a pinch of nerves in my stomach. It was 12:13 a.m. November first.
Caspian’s death day.
Chapter Twenty-one
NOVEMBER FIRST
When he entered the house, the conquest of his heart was complete.
—“The Legend of Sleepy Hollow”
My legs were shaky as I walked up the front walkway, and I exhaled. I put one hand on the doorknob, turned it slowly, and then pushed the door open. A trail of red rose petals greeted me, leading the way across the living room and into the kitchen. I followed it and found a piece of paper there that said, Astrid, come find me upstairs.
Placing my purse on the counter, I slipped off my shoes, then padded over to the downstairs bathroom. My white dress was hanging on the back of the door there. Please let him like me in it …
Taking another deep breath, I unzipped the back of my red dress and wiggled my way out of it, draping it across the edge of the tub. I pulled down the white dress and gently removed it from its plastic garment bag. The silky fabric whispered across my skin as I stepped into it, and I could almost hear the soft sighs of another time and place. Of another woman, who had worn this dress before me, to go meet the man she loved before he would be taken from her forever.
The bodice took some extra t
ime to lace because my hands were trembling, but finally, finally I was ready.
I turned and looked in the mirror, slightly stunned again by my miracle cleavage. The dress was just as beautiful as the first time I’d tried it on. It was as if it had been made for me.
My makeup, however, was not beautiful anymore. I pulled off the false eyelashes that I’d been wearing, and washed away the mascara stains from under each eye. Luckily, I had a spare cosmetics bag under the counter, so I was able to touch up my blush and lip gloss. I didn’t want to overdo it too much. It didn’t feel right in this dress.
I debated whether or not to take my hair down, but decided to leave it up. Caspian hardly ever saw me wear it that way and I wanted to surprise him. I did take out the rose that Ben had given me, though, and put it on the sink.
With one final look, I left the bathroom behind and started slowly up the stairs.
I could feel the rough pattern of the carpet runner underneath my bare feet, and I tried to focus on that. My stomach felt all fluttery and nervous, and with every step I took, I came closer and closer to the reality waiting for me just a few short feet away. Please, please let him like me …
Please …
The top of the stairs was lit with candles, and more rose petals were scattered on the floor. They pointed to my bedroom.
I bent to pick one of the rose petals up and rubbed the velvety smoothness between my fingertips. This is a dream. It has to be.
My bedroom door was open, and I could see more candles lit inside there. The flower petal path led me to the bed, and I didn’t even realize that I’d been holding my breath, until I stepped into the room.
Caspian was sitting there. Head turned. Looking away.
Holding my breath, feeling my chest get tight and my head grow fuzzy, I moved closer to the bed. Closer to him.
He was wearing a tuxedo. Classic black, with a white shirt and dark tie. His hair was swept back, but I could tell that stubborn black streak didn’t want to stay in place, and his green eyes were bright and unnaturally shiny in the candlelight. Twin orbs of flame reflected back at me in the irises.
He stood and took a step. Then another.