Mari smiled back. “You’ve been smiling more. I like it. How do you feel?”
“I have been better, but have taken no serious injury and suffer no illness. You?”
“I think I’ll be all right.” She patted the bed. “Come over here and sit down. I want you close.”
“Still?” The tiny smile flickered across his face again, and Alain came to sit beside her, his eyes on hers. “I wondered if you would regret taking me into your bed.”
“Uh, Alain, that’s not exactly what I did.” He started to say something. “Yes, I know you slept beside me, and it felt wonderful to hold you. But we didn’t sleep together.”
Alain seemed baffled. “Yes, we did.”
Mari sighed. “No, we didn’t. We slept next to each other, which means we slept. ‘Sleeping together’ means the same thing as saying that a woman has taken a man into her bed, and both of those mean a lot more than sleeping has been going on.”
Alain nodded, his face serious. “I see. Physical relations. Then if someone asks, I should say we sleep next to each other but not together?”
Mari was sure her startlement showed. “If anyone asks, you tell them that it’s none of their business! What you and I do in bed, or don’t do in bed, is our private affair.”
“Private? Is this one of the social skills things?”
Are you sure you want to get in a very serious relationship with a Mage, Mari? “Mages don’t understand privacy? The idea that some stuff is personal and doesn’t have to be shared with other people?”
Alain appeared to be having trouble with the concept. “There are no other people. That is what Mages are taught. I have told you that. Why would a Mage speak to shadows of anything but what was absolutely necessary to say?”
“Oh. That makes sense, I guess. Don’t Mages have things they keep from other Mages?”
“Secrets.” Alain nodded. “We are not supposed to keep secrets from elders, but elders can order Mages not to tell things to other Mages.” His eyes lit with understanding. “Like the secrets I have kept about you. This is privacy?”
“Yes,” Mari said. “Things you shouldn’t tell other people.”
“I will remember,” Alain said.
For some reason, that made her giggle. “You know, you really are perfect. Except for a few things I can fix. Strong enough to keep me alive no matter what is trying to kill me, but willing to listen to me. What did I do to deserve you? And that reminds me. I owe you something.”
She leaned forward and kissed him, wincing as her badly chapped lips met his, but didn’t pull away. Her arms went around him, holding him tightly. The kiss lasted, and she felt his hands leaving her back and drifting downward. “Alain…”
The flash of disappointment was human enough that Mari was glad to see it. “No more. I understand.”
“I don’t expect you to like it, my love.” She laughed. “Just respect it. Don’t push me. I don’t handle it well when people push me.”
Alain’s hand tentatively stroked her hair. He was holding her clumsily, unused to this amount of human contact and probably rendered more awkward by his feelings. “You are difficult. I already know that. I accept it, because it is part of you.”
Mari smiled. “You might feel differently after living with it for another few months.”
“I do not believe so. I would…what were the words you used? I would give you my promise now, if you would like that.”
Mari went rigid. Her eyes locked on the fabric of Alain’s shirt and her breathing speeding up. “You just proposed to me. Do you know that you just proposed to me?”
“Is that wrong? The blizzard made it clear in my mind. I wish to spend all my days with you. Just as the vision in Dorcastle showed.”
She couldn’t help smiling again, despite the anxiousness she felt. “Alain, I can’t give you my answer yet. We need to know each other better. If we make promises now, we might regret it later. There’s things about me that you don’t know yet, that you may not like or may not be able to live with. I don’t want you to feel bound to me by your promise, especially when I don’t know what we’ll face in the future.”
“You are worried about a Mage feeling bound by a promise?”
She made a fist and rapped his shoulder. “You’re not a Mage in that way. You’re Alain. And yes, I don’t want you ever to stay with me because you feel bound to me. I want you with me, but I want you there because you want to be there.”
“That will never change,” Alain said.
“Never say never, Alain. Things can change very quickly sometimes.” Mari pushed aside the sudden feeling of sadness as thoughts intruded of the family she had once had. “Not that I ever want them to change for us, except for the better. But we’re facing a…very difficult situation right now. We ought to concentrate on staying alive, and on getting the job done.”
He nodded. “A task of great difficulty lies ahead. You are still weary and I have been keeping you from the bath the healer has ordered. Once you are better, we can go in search of the dining hall together.”
“Yeah.” The time in the bath would probably help her get her head together again, too. Mari straightened and stood cautiously, finding she was wobbly on her feet but could stand. “The healer told you about the Mechanics and Mages here?”
“Yes.” Alain looked downward and to the side, as if he could see through the intervening floor and walls to wherever the Mages were inside the inn. “I already knew those Mages were here, for they are making no attempt to hide themselves. It is taking some effort for me to remain hidden from them, but I believe I am succeeding.”
“I’d forgotten you said Mages could sense other Mages. Why didn’t they find you when you were passed out?”
“Sleeping Mages send out few signs of their presence,” Alain explained. “The elders of the Mage Guild debate the reasons, but we are taught how to maintain some shield of our presence without thinking of it, so perhaps that shield remains in place when we sleep. If the Mages are making no attempt to search for other Mages, they would be unlikely to sense me. My practice at hiding myself also seems to have improved my ability to conceal my presence at all times. I have been working at that.”
“That’s my Mage,” Mari said with a grin, then noticed an almost-expression cross Alain’s face. “What?”
“When you called me your Mage. I like when you say that.”
Mari’s grin widened. “Good. I’ll do that more often. Speaking of Mages, though, how did you find this inn during the blizzard? Is that another Mage skill?”
Alain shook his head. “To find a building? A place? No. It is possible I sensed the presence of the other Mages here and unconsciously moved toward them. But I was so tired I do not see how I could have done that. It may have just been destiny,” Alain continued. “Our fates may have led us here, just as they once led each of us to the same caravan.”
“Mages don’t believe in anything, but they believe in destiny?” Mari asked, knowing her tones sounded sarcastic again. “I’m sorry, but I’m the one controlling my fate, not some mysterious force called destiny.”
“I do not disagree that our decisions matter,” Alain said. “Mages speak of the road we choose to walk. I believe that we are given choices, places where decisions may be made to walk one road or another. We do not know what provides these choices, but we may call it destiny to give a name to that which is unknowable. Destiny offers the choices, but we choose the road.”
Mari frowned in thought. “I hadn’t thought about it in those terms. You mean like when we first met while the caravan was being attacked, you and I both had choices of whether to stick together or strike off on our own. Both of our futures would have been a lot different if we’d separated then. But why would destiny care about whether or not you and I lived, or ended up together?”
Alain shook his head. “Whether or not destiny cares—and if it cares, why it cares—is a question beyond the wisdom of anyone to answer for certain.”
“
I’m an engineer, Alain. I believe every problem has a solution, every question has an answer. I guess we’ll learn our futures when we get to them.”
His eyes were hooded with concern even she could spot. “The task before you is very dangerous.”
“I already know that,” Mari said, thinking of the Imperial security forces that would need to be avoided, the dangers from her own Guild, and whatever the Mage Guild might try. In their own ways, each of them wanted to be in control of things and tell everyone else what to do. “Not in detail, of course, but that’s probably just as well at the moment.”
“If you wish to speak of it,” Alain began.
“There’s not much sense in that, Alain,” Mari replied. “I need to learn more before I know what to do. All you and I could talk about now is…our fears of what might happen.”
“This is so,” Alain agreed. “Mari, I must tell you, your calmness in the face of what you must do is the equal of the greatest Mage.”
“Not a compliment I ever thought to receive!” Mari pulled some fresh clothing out of her pack. “Don’t let anybody else look in my pack while I’m gone.”
Alain nodded this time, his face reflecting concentration. “Privacy.”
“Right. That and the fact that any common seeing the jacket and tools would know instantly that I’m a Mechanic.”
The soak proved amazingly refreshing. Jana the healer had ordered some more hot water brought in to refresh the small tub, and Mari just sat in it for a long time letting physical and emotional stresses drain off and out of her. Finally, she managed to drag herself out of the bath. After that, the chill gusts of air that found their way through the inn’s walls made it easy to dry off quickly and get dressed fast even though her muscles still protested mightily.
As she reached the door to their room, Alain opened it. “I sensed you coming.”
“Yeah. How did you—? The thread?”
“Yes. It is very strong now.”
That thread thing was a bit unsettling, but she would have to get used to it. Mari knelt by her pack, digging inside it again until she surfaced with her pistol and holster. “Can we be in the same dining hall with any Mages here without them knowing you’re a Mage?”
“As long as I maintain my control and do not cast any spells.”
“There’s no chance any of them will recognize you?” Mari asked.
Alain gave her a questioning look. “Why would a Mage look at the face of a common?”
“Good point.” Mari stood up, adjusting the holster and pulling on her common coat to hide it. “Hopefully the Mechanics at the inn will act the same way. We’ve got to eat.” Her stomach felt like a vast pit now. “When did we eat last? At least a day ago.”
The dining hall wasn’t too hard to find. They just had to follow the scent of food and the roar of conversation. Every table was filled, but Mari’s eyes went to two in particular. At the far side of the hall, a small group of Mages sat, anonymous in their robes with the hoods up, silent and ignoring everyone else. At a table as far away from the Mages as possible sat a larger group of Mechanics, talking loudly and dominating their half of the hall with their noisy arrogance just as the Mages dominated the other half with their mysterious menace.
Mari stood there a moment, uncertain what to do. As a Mechanic, she had grown used to commons quickly making room for her or simply joining a table with other Mechanics. But then a common woman at one of the tables closer to the Mechanics than to the Mages gestured to Mari and shoved her husband to one side on the bench to make room for Mari and Alain. “Thank you,” Mari said, letting Alain take the outside where he had less contact with the commons and less chance to betray that he was a Mage.
The husband nodded briefly at her as he swallowed a bite. “I helped carry you in when you got here,” he grunted. “Thought you were done for.”
“Thank you,” Mari repeated.
The woman shook her head. “What were you two doing out there on the plains?”
“Hiking,” Mari explained. “We’re students from Palandur.”
“Palandur!” The woman seemed awed. “Have you seen the emperor?”
“At a distance,” Mari admitted.
Before she could say more, a frazzled-looking server dumped a bowl of stew in front of her and another in front of Alain. “No more bread,” the server said before leaving as quickly as she had come.
Mari couldn’t help glancing at the Mechanics’ table, where fresh loaves were steaming. The woman spotted it and nodded ruefully. “They’re having to save what bread is left for the rulers of all creation over there.”
“Hope they choke on it,” her husband grunted.
“Hush! One of them might hear.”
The woman kept talking, something about the emperor and how grand Palandur must be, while Mari started eating as fast as she could ladle in the stew. It looked as though the inn, overrun with guests seeking shelter from the blizzard, had simply been dumping anything available into the cauldrons of stew to keep them topped off. Mari didn’t mind, though, since she was eating so fast she was barely tasting it.
Most of the way through her second bowl, Alain leaned close to whisper in her ear. “One of the Mechanics keeps taking quick looks toward you.”
Mari’s spoon froze in motion for a moment, then she managed to swallow and lower the spoon. “Man or woman?”
“It is a male Mechanic.”
“Can I take a look without him seeing me looking back at him?”
“It would be difficult, since his glances are growing longer.” Alain paused. “His companions have noticed. They are laughing and speaking loudly to him.”
Mari didn’t know whether to be relieved or worried. It sounded like the Mechanic had been watching her because he thought she was attractive, and his tablemates were now giving him a hard time. That was better than him recognizing her, but it could still be a problem.
The woman had noticed now, too. “Girl, one of them black jackets is looking at you. He’s starting to get up. You’d best leave quick. You know what they’re capable of doing.”
“Thanks.” Feeling shame at how the commons felt toward Mechanics mixed with worry now, Mari bolted to her feet, hauling Alain with her and walking quickly out of the dining hall. The roar of conversation had lowered considerably as the commons watched the little drama playing out, so Mari could hear the Mechanic’s boots coming on fast behind her, hear the Mechanic’s fellows urging him on with shouts of encouragement. She got through the door, shoving Alain ahead of her, then felt a hand on her shoulder as Mari reached for the pistol under her coat.
“Hold on,” the Mechanic said.
Mari stopped moving as she heard the voice. Can it really be him? She spun around and looked at the Mechanic. “Calu. It’s been a long time.”
Chapter Nine
Calu stared at her, then grinned. “Mari? It is you. I kept looking at this girl, thinking she sure looked like Mari, and it’s you. What’s it been, three years?”
“About that. You must be twenty-one now, right? Look at you. All grown into a man and a full Mechanic.” Mari smiled, letting her hand fall away from her weapon, then glanced at Alain. “Calu is all right. We were apprentices together at the Mechanics Guild Hall in Caer Lyn.”
Alain, who had been watching tensed for action, relaxed a little.
“Apprentices together?” Calu smiled wider. “More like uncaught conspirators together. I heard you made Master Mechanic. Everybody was talking about that a while back.” His smile turned wry. “Except the Senior Mechanics.”
“Same old story,” Mari said.
“Yeah. I’d wondered how you were doing, since I hadn’t heard anything in so long, then I noticed you eating in there and wondered if it could be you. The other Mechanics thought I was checking out some common girl, but I just wanted to know if it was you for real.”
“Oh?” Mari frowned at him. The Calu she had known never would have forced a woman, but that had been three years ago. “And if sh
e hadn’t been me? What would you have done?”
Calu smiled crookedly. “Asked her if she was your twin sister.”
“I would have mentioned a twin sister if I had one, Calu.”
“Maybe not if she was an evil twin sister. Blazes, Mari, you know me. I wouldn’t have done anything, except maybe tell her I was sorry for scaring her.”
Mari smiled, too. “You’d apologize to a common?”
“They’re human, too, right? That’s what you always said. You were always big on treating everyone with respect, and I didn’t forget that.” He gave her a curious look. “Why is there an alert out for you? Why aren’t you wearing your jacket?”
Mari looked around. “I can’t talk about it here, Calu. It’s too dangerous.”
“Dangerous? How can I help?”
She smiled again, despite her worry. Calu might be wearing a Mechanic’s jacket now, but he hadn’t changed in other ways since he was an apprentice. “Alain is helping me. I don’t want you being in danger, too.”
“Alain?” Calu nodded to the Mage, who nodded back stiffly. “Just Alain? Is he a common?”
“No…”
“All right, I understand. You can’t talk now. How about later?”
“Calu, you really shouldn’t get involved. Just don’t tell any of the other Mechanics here that you saw me and—”
Calu shook his head. “No way, Mari. I’m still your friend, so I’m involved. What do think Alli would do to me if she heard I’d seen you and not helped?”
“Alli? I saw her in Danalee a little while ago.”
“Lucky you.” Calu grinned. “We’re staying in touch but I can’t wait to see her again. We told you about us getting serious.”
“You did? When?”
“I know Alli sent some letters to you at the academy. We didn’t hear back much, but we figured you were just too busy.”
“No.” Mari took a long, deep breath. “I only got a couple of letters from you guys. I’m sure I would have remembered Alli telling me about you two. I wrote to you. Did you see my letters?”