She made a helpless gesture. “Calu, I can’t remember what the stakes were.”
“Something about the loser running naked through the courtyard of the Guild Hall.”
“What? I didn’t—” Mari bit her lip. “That was the bet, wasn’t it? Calu, you’re not going to…?”
Calu sat down, making a magnanimous gesture. “Because of our friendship, and because Alli would whip my butt if she found out I’d tried to insist you do it, I will simply accept victory as my reward. I was not the first to blow up a boiler. Mari of Caer Lyn was!”
Mari bowed toward Calu. “I admit it.”
“I’m a better Mechanic than you are,” Calu continued.
“The blazes you are! I blew up that boiler on purpose, not by accident.” Mari looked over at Alain. “Do you have any idea what we’re talking about?”
“No,” Alain said. “But you are both clearly enjoying this. This is a friend thing, is it not?”
“It is,” Mari agreed.
Calu looked from her to Alain and smiled. “We always said Mari could fix anything. All right. Now I know what’s going on. What can I do, Mari?”
“Calu, keep your head down, stay quiet—”
“Let me clarify,” Calu interrupted. “What can I do for you?” He looked over at Alain. “For you and, uh…Sir Mage Alain?”
“You may call me just Alain, if a friend of Mari’s can be a friend to me also.”
Mari was looking into a corner. “Calu, I’m on my way to talk to a Master Mechanic who I trust. She was one of my professors at the Academy. I need to find out more about what’s happening to me and why, and get her advice on how to handle it. Maybe she can get this whole mess turned around and I can start working with the Guild again, instead of trying to avoid getting killed by it.”
“If the Senior Mechanics were willing to send you into Tiae, I wouldn’t hold my breath on some grand reconciliation happening. Are you going to take Alain in to see her, too?” Calu asked.
“Yes, because I want to see what she says about him and what he can do.”
Calu studied Alain again. “Are you willing to talk about that? How you do that stuff? Or is it a Guild secret for you?”
“It is a Guild secret, but my Guild no longer can demand I keep its secrets. My loyalty now is…” He paused, trying to think that through. Who or what did he owe allegiance to, now that his obedience to his Guild no longer bound him? None of his training had offered guidance on that. The only alternative he had ever heard of was the Dark Mages, and he would not follow their path. He would need to make a new road.
Alain’s eyes came up and focused on Mari. Of course. I will follow her. She will show me a good road to walk. “My loyalty is to my Lady Mari. To the right thing she seeks to bring about. What she asks, I will do.”
Mari’s face flushed even as she smiled at that, leaving Alain confused as to whether he had upset her or pleased her. But Mechanic Calu nodded. “I don’t need to give you any advice when it comes to that, do I?”
“I do not know, Mechanic Calu. But I will answer what you asked me. The Mage arts are based upon the understanding that nothing is real, that all we see is an illusion.”
Instead of appearing annoyed as Mari always did when he said that, the other Mechanic looked shocked. “Nothing is real?”
“Nothing is real,” Alain repeated.
Calu turned to Mari. “Nothing is real!”
She glared at them. “It’s bad enough when Alain keeps saying it. Why are you both saying it?”
“Mari,” Calu answered eagerly, “did you get the letters where I told you that I’d been allowed to take those advanced physics courses but hadn’t been allowed to pursue Master rating in them because of strict quotas? Yeah, I know it sounds weird that I’d be going for advanced physics when I had trouble with the simpler stuff, but something just clicked when I hit the high-end theories and models. And do you know what it all rests on? When you get down below the atomic level to the quantum level? It comes down to nothing is real.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Mari said. “Mechanic physics says that?”
“At the fundamental level, yes.” Calu pointed to Alain. “He said everything is an illusion. That’s kind of what quantum theory says, that what we see and experience through our senses is just the way our brains organize things so it’ll make sense to us. Can you believe it? The theoretical foundations of the Mechanics and the Mages are the same! We must go in totally different directions from there, taking completely dissimilar approaches to how we deal with the universe.”
Mari shook her head. “That doesn’t make any sense, Calu. How can arts like engineering be based on the idea that nothing is real?”
“No, it’s the foundation, Mari. It’s what explains how everything works, like electricity and light and friction and everything else. Engineering follows the rules it does because of the way the universe is organized.” Calu grinned again at Mari’s baffled expression. “I know how weird it seems. It’s actually a whole lot weirder than it sounds when you get down to quantum level. I think if the Mechanics Guild had its way the whole thing would be banned, but it’s considered too important to completely suppress, so only a very few Mechanics are allowed to learn about it.” Calu frowned in thought. “But where could the Mages get the energy to do anything? The human body doesn’t contain enough to create rapid changes like that. Mechanics get our energy from sources like electricity or magnetism. Is that what you use, Alain?”
Alain shook his head. “I do not know these words. We draw on the power which exists everywhere in greater or lesser amounts around us. A Mage can sense and channel this energy into a spell to change the world illusion. It also requires some energy from the Mage, so that creating spells quickly tires any Mage.”
“Wow. Something like…heat transfer. Mari, remember those old plans for geothermal heating we found?”
“The ones the Senior Mechanics confiscated?”
“Right! There’s heat in the ground, everywhere, and with the right equipment you can use that heat. So the Mages can make use of some other kind of energy, I guess. I would so love to research this stuff.”
Alain studied the Mechanic, trying to understand Calu’s enthusiasm. “Mechanics are so much in and of the world,” he said. “Everything about it fascinates you and Mari. I was taught to ignore the world, but I find myself wishing I could feel so excited about what I saw and what I learned. I would…like to discuss these things more with you some day, Mechanic Calu.”
Another grin. “If you’re just Alain, then I’m just Calu.” The smile went away. “But there’s no way the Senior Mechanics would permit it. We’re not allowed to learn new things, do new things, build new things.”
Mari looked at Calu. “Maybe that should change,” she said.
He looked back at her, and Alain could sense the sudden tension. “Seriously, Mari? Alli told me something about you years ago. She said ‘Mari is going to change things some day, Calu.’ And a little while ago, Alain told me that’s what you were out to do. Change things. If anybody can, you can.”
She gave them both aggravated looks. “Everybody expects me to do it! This is too important to start without having some kind of…of blueprint. And to have a blueprint, I need to understand exactly what’s going on and why. I’m relieved that you two are getting along, but don’t gang up on me. I wonder if Professor S’san knows anything about this quantum stuff? Calu, I might as well tell you what I can about our plans. Alain and I are heading for Severun.”
“That means you’ll have to go through Umburan and Pandin,” Calu observed. “The Imperial road net always converges into a few big roads that go through the cities so the Imperials can track everyone’s movements.” Calu pointed to himself. “I’m at the Guild Hall in Umburan. Have you got Imperial identity papers?”
“Yes. Fake ones, of course.”
“Good. From what I’ve seen since I got here, the Imperials regard any common west of Umburan as especially suspect. Once yo
u get to Umburan and onward south and east, Imperial security will relax a little.” Calu leaned back, furrowing his brow in thought. “We’ve got a coach taking us back to Umburan. How are you getting there?”
“Walking, I guess.”
“You might be able to get a horse.”
Mari flinched. “Don’t talk about riding a horse, please.”
Calu looked puzzled, so Alain explained. “Riding a horse hurts Mari’s butt.”
She flinched again. “Alain! Social skills! You don’t talk about my butt to anyone else!”
Mechanic Calu seemed to be having difficulty, covering his mouth and coughing even though he was smiling. “Um…all right, then. I’ll be in Umburan a few days before you two. That will give me time to see what I can find out.”
Mari scowled at him. “Calu, do not put yourself at risk by asking around about me.”
“I can be careful!” Calu said. “There’s a Guild alert out for you, and that’s a perfect reason to ask. ‘I was at Caer Lyn with her, so maybe I help the Guild figure out where she is.’”
“I don’t want you lying like a Mage!” Mari winced. “I’m sorry, Alain.”
“For what?” he asked. “I have heard the saying, though it is not accurate. Those who believe truth does not exist cannot actually be lying.”
“He’s got a point,” Calu commented. “Mari, when we were apprentices you used to say that we were all in this together. We still are. There’s a bookstore about five hundred lances north of the Mechanics Guild Hall in Umburan. I’ll be there around noon each day, starting a week after we leave here. It will take you at least that long to get to the city. Meet me in the bookstore and I’ll tell you what I found out.”
Alain could see Mari wavering. “I believe it would be wise to accept the offer, Mari. We must know as much as possible about what our opponents are doing if we are to reach Severun safely.”
She nodded in defeat. “All right. Please be careful, Calu.”
“Trust me. The blizzard is almost over. They’re talking about us maybe leaving tomorrow, if the road is clear enough.” Calu stood up, looking toward Alain. “You keep your eyes on her, okay?”
“I will.”
Mari made a derisive noise. “He doesn’t need any encouragement to look at me.”
After the other Mechanic had left, Mari sat gazing at the door. “You are sad,” Alain said.
“More worried than sad.” Mari shook her head. “I keep getting other people drawn into my troubles. First you, now Calu. I don’t have any right to do that.”
“Mari, you say that you trust Mechanic Calu and that you trust me. Does that not mean you trust our ability to make decisions? You did not order us to do anything. We choose to walk the same road, to be your allies.”
She thought about that for a while before shaking her head again. “You’re right, but I still feel guilty. I know I’m always pushing people to do stuff, but why do they follow me?”
“Because of who you are,” Alain said.
Mari rolled her eyes. “I just hope what I told him doesn’t get him in trouble. I keep doing things that cause other things to happen. I just don’t want anyone to be hurt.”
“Those who wish to kill us may move against your friends in time anyway. It is best that they be warned. And if you do not keep trying, the storm will sweep away all.”
This time, Mari glared at him. “Alain, have you ever heard the expression ‘no pressure’?”
“No.” Alain listened for a moment to the small sounds of the wind outside. “It is very late. We should sleep now in case travel is possible tomorrow.” Alain moved to spread his blanket upon the floor.
“What are you doing?” Mari scowled at him and pointed to the bed. “I want you here, next to me. With your clothes on, and watch where you put your hands. I trust you and I want you close, but let’s not press our luck.” She put out the lantern, then held Alain close as he laid down beside her.
He had almost fallen asleep when she whispered softly to him. “Alain, if Professor S’san says I have to leave you in order to make peace with the Mechanics Guild, I won’t do it. I just want you to know that. You’ll never be alone again, Alain. Not while I live.”
* * * *
By morning the sun was shining in a cloudless sky of brilliant blue, reflecting off the white snow in blinding glory. Temperatures were rising quickly. From the small window of their room Alain could see people walking past on the road, carrying their coats as they waded through the rapidly melting snow.
They waited until the Mages had left, three robed figures walking alone, the crowd separating to give them a lot of space. Then the Mechanics departed in a large coach with a common driving the horses as they plunged through the diminishing snow. Finally, with most prying eyes gone, Mari and Alain went down to see the innkeeper.
The innkeeper calculated their rate for the tiny room and the food they had eaten, adding in a “storm fee” which made Mari mutter something about profiteering. But they could scarcely complain, since the innkeeper had taken them in without knowing whether they would be able to pay anything. The healer was staying another day to help a mother who had given birth during the storm, and she accepted Mari’s offering of payment gratefully. “Good luck,” the healer called after them as they left the inn, “and may your parents see wisdom!”
Alain looked at Mari. “Our parents?”
“We’re eloping,” she explained.
“I had not known.”
Mari laughed. “How long have you been hiding humor behind dry statements like that? Anyway, eloping is a good cover story. And you did propose to me. I don’t intend to let you forget that.”
Alain noticed his own spirits lift as he saw her happiness in being out of the inn and on the road in good weather. Mari was looking around at the melting snow drifts and the clear blue sky. “It’s clearing almost as fast as it hit. Amazing. It’s almost like that storm was aimed at us.”
“Perhaps it was,” Alain suggested. “To bring us to that inn, to come to some more understanding between us, to meet your friend Calu.”
Mari seemed to be torn between more laughter and disbelief. “Oh, yes, destiny. I’d forgotten. Alain, if destiny chose to create that great big storm while we were walking across the plains a few days ago just to get us into bed together, then all I can say is that destiny engaged in some serious overkill of its own, though I’m sure the male in you regards that event as being of huge significance.”
Alain shrugged. “Our sharing your bed may have been a minor step along the road we are to follow.”
“Oh, yes, it was also so we would meet Calu!” Mari laughed. “I think that could have been arranged with a little less effort.”
“You can be hard to direct at times,” Alain suggested.
Mari shook her head, grinning. “Aren’t you the diplomat?” Her grin faded, and she gave him a serious look. “That reminds me of something I’ve been meaning to ask. From what you’ve said of Mage schools, it’s everyone for themselves there. Who taught you to be a gentleman? Way back when, the first days we were together, why didn’t you start grabbing at me as soon as I was within reach?”
Alain felt the memories rushing in upon him, memories of solitude among many. “You are right. I was not taught to care for others in the Mage schools. I was taught that the wishes of others did not matter at all. Had I followed my teachings, I would have simply done what I wished with you and cared not for your feelings or whatever hurt it might have inflicted.”
She gazed at him somberly. “More than one Mechanic takes the same approach when it comes to commons, though I never let it happen if I could intervene. I never thought it was right to treat commons, or anyone else, poorly because I always believed their feelings and their dignity mattered. But you were taught those other people didn’t even exist, so what kept you honest?”
More memories of long ago, of animals and fields, of people he had spent years trying to put out of his mind. “My parents. My Guild trie
d to make me forget them, tried to teach me that they were only shadows, but always they stayed with me. Eventually, so strongly did the elders teach me to reject all that brought up feelings in me that I saw this as a weakness in myself, that I could not cease to care about them.” Alain had to pause, breathing deeply. His eyes felt strange and watery.
Mari’s hand gripped his arm and squeezed lightly. “Your parents must have been great people.”
“They were.” He whispered that, then looked up and spoke the next two words loudly before lowering his voice again. “They were. I will never try to forget that again. My father taught me to respect others, my mother taught me not to hurt others. It must have hurt them…so much…when I was taken by the Mages.” He felt tears leaking out and rubbed them away.
Mari’s hand left his arm and her own arm wrapped around his waist so that she held him as they walked. “I’m sorry, Alain.”
“No. You should never be sorry, for if not for you I would have kept those memories out of mind. I would have continued to reject my feelings.” He worked at it and managed to smile at her. “I think they would have liked you, Mari.”
Her own eyes seemed watery before Mari looked away. “I hope so. Do you have anybody else? A brother or sister? Aunt or uncle?”
“No brother or sister. I had an aunt, my mother’s sister, but I do not know what has become of her.” Alain kicked at a mound of snow, knocking pieces along the road, enjoying the feeling of release from acting on his pain. “My grandmother will have nothing to do with me. She looked upon me and saw only a Mage.”
“Maybe if she saw you now—”
“No. Her mind is fixed. I saw this. It hurt even when I would not feel hurt.” Mari stayed silent, and Alain felt questions coming to him. “Mari, your mother—”
“We will not talk about my mother.” Her voice had gone sharp and abrupt in an instant’s time.
“Do you…hate her?” He had to know whether or not that was so, whether this was part of Mari.
He felt her arm tighten on him, not affectionately but with tension. “I told you I won’t— No, I don’t hate her. I can’t. I tried, for years I tried to hate her, but I couldn’t. My father, too.” After a moment she spoke again, the words coming in a rush. “I just don’t understand. I’ve never understood. How could they do that? How could they pretend that I’d never existed? How could they cut me out of their lives like that?”