“Ten.” It was Alain’s turn to pause, as he absorbed that information. “I was not told. The Mage who cast lightning attempted to strike me during the battle,” Alain continued with a deadpan voice and no expression. “A direct attack on me. The dragon Mage then sent his spell creature up the pass with orders to kill me first.”
Asha hesitated again before replying. “I did not know these things. Do you say, Mage Alain, that our elders have decreed your death?”
“I believe this is so.”
Mari watched the two Mages converse, feeling a growing sense of disbelief and disquiet. They were discussing, quite literally, matters of life and death. This was apparently their first reunion in some time. Yet their faces and voices gave no clue to the emotions they felt, gave no clue to any emotions at all. It was both eerie and disturbing. I’d forgotten that Alain could be like this. I’d forgotten what he was like when we first talked in the waste outside of Ringhmon. Watching this is downright scary. What if there had been another Mage along with the caravan? What if I had seen him conversing with another Mage then, the two of them so blasted inhuman? I never would’ve spoken to him, even if we’d still ended up fleeing together. He, they, would’ve been too creepy. Even if I’d just seen other Mages talking together close up then I bet I would’ve felt that way. But I never have.
Alain talks sometimes about destiny bringing us together. I think that’s nonsense, but then again if we hadn’t both been alone when the caravan was destroyed, if we both hadn’t lacked actual experience with members of the other’s Guild before that, we wouldn’t have talked. We wouldn’t have seen beneath the exterior we thought we knew and caught a glimpse of the real person beneath. Things would’ve been a lot different.
Thanks, destiny.
Asha was gazing dispassionately at Alain. “A Roc Mage arrived here a day ago with a tale of having attacked a Mechanic creation. I saw that she was hiding something from us when she spoke of this.”
“That Mage too tried to kill me, and Mari as well.”
“Why would the Guild seek your death, Mage Alain? Did you act against the Guild?”
“I did not act against the Guild before the attempts to kill me. I believe that the elders ordered my death because I had come to know this woman.” Alain indicated Mari.
Mari nodded at Asha, then decided someone here ought to act human and smiled politely. “Hi. Nice to meet you. How are you doing?”
The female Mage looked at Mari for just a moment as if she was gazing at a rock, not returning the smile or any other expression before turning her attention back to Alain and speaking only to him. “She is not a Mage. Why do you know a common, and why should the Guild be concerned by this?”
“She is a Mechanic.”
News that would have aroused outbursts of emotion in a conversation with Mechanics or commons merely caused Asha’s eyebrow to twitch. “Why are you with her?”
Perhaps it was because Mari had been around Alain, gaining experience with detecting emotions which were mostly hidden, but she thought that Asha’s voice rose infinitesimally in disbelief at the end. Not that anyone else would probably have noticed. Listening to the Mages’ emotionless conversation did have one benefit, Mari thought. She couldn't hear or see any negative feelings about her in the impassive words of Asha.
“I am with her,” Alain said, “because she is important.”
“I do not understand. She is a shadow. She cannot be important.”
“She is to me.” Alain paused. “She is to this world. She defines the world I see.”
That actually caused a visible flash of surprise on Asha’s face. Mari was so busy staring at Alain, aghast at what sounded to her like a very exaggerated description of her importance to him, that she almost missed Asha’s reaction. The female Mage looked at Mari a little longer this time, then shook her head. “I do not understand how a shadow could lead you to believe this, Mage Alain.”
Mari couldn’t help noticing that the female Mage was talking past her, as if only the two Mages were present. She would have gotten angry except for her own training as a Mechanic to do the same to Mages and commons whenever she was around them. It didn’t make sense to blame Asha for acting the same way that Mari had been instructed to act.
Alain stood perfectly still for a moment before answering Asha’s question. “I believe this because I have seen it. And because…I love her.”
This time the astonishment on the female Mage’s face was plain enough that Mari could see it with no trouble. Then the amazement vanished, replaced by a hint of clear sorrow. “Mage Alain, you have lost your wisdom.”
“No, Mage Asha, I have found a new wisdom.”
“You were a strong Mage. Your powers have been lost.”
Alain shook his head. “My powers remain.”
The female Mage regarded him for a long time before speaking again. “You do not lie. What you say should not be possible, according to what we were taught.”
“What we were taught is wrong.”
To Mari’s surprise, Asha looked at her again. This time she addressed her directly. “Mechanic, what is your purpose with the Mage Alain?”
Mari took a deep breath, amazed to be discussing her private feelings with a female Mage. “I love him. He loves me. We want to be with each other, to protect and help each other, to do some important things, to make each other happy.”
“That is not possible,” Asha said, without feeling yet conveying distress.
Looking at her, Mari had a growing feeling that the female Mage was bewildered, trying to understand what she was being told and unable to grasp it.
Alain reached to touch Mari’s hand. “This Mechanic faced and slew the dragon sent against me, else I would have died under its claws. She has saved my life more than once, at the risk of her own.”
“That was a mighty dragon,” Asha said without feeling. “You did this for Mage Alain, Mechanic?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“I told you,” Mari said. “I love him. I may marry him. Maybe. But I won’t let anyone hurt him.”
Asha stared at Mari for a while, her face once again betraying no emotions. “When we were acolytes, newly come to the Mage Guild Hall in Ihris, Mage Alain once tried to catch me as I fell. He was punished for this.” Her gaze went to Alain. “We talked. In the first days. Before such things were driven from us. He was…he could have been…someone…”
“A friend,” Alain said.
“Friend.” Asha seemed to be looking inward now, as if searching for memories lost in time. “What does this mean?”
Alain’s voice took on more feeling. “It is someone who helps.”
“Helps?” Asha suddenly inhaled strongly. “I remember. When all else was gone…Alain…helps…helped…me.”
“We were taught to forget this,” Alain said. “Master Mechanic Mari reminded me of what it meant. She has reminded me of many things. She must do something of great importance. Will you help me now, Mage Asha?”
Her gaze rested on Alain, then went back to Mari. “This Mechanic helps Mage Alain. I will help, too. I will not betray you to the Guild, Mage Alain.”
Alain bowed toward her. “Thank you, Mage Asha.”
Mari saw the female Mage blink in momentary confusion. “I had not remembered those words. Did she teach you them?”
“Yes.”
“She has saved your life,” Asha said dispassionately.
“Many times.”
Mage Asha turned back to Mari, then tried to speak, her lips struggling to form words that seemed stuck inside her. “Th…Th…”
“Uh…you’re welcome.” Mari spread her hands, feeling awkward and uncertain. She had felt tears starting as Asha tried to speak words which had been forbidden to her. What had it been like for Asha? Close enough to see her well now, Mari could spot on Asha’s face the marks of the same kinds of treatment that Alain bore. Old scars and other signs of the harsh teachings that Alain rarely spoke of. This woman had
suffered just as Alain had. “Thank you, Mage Asha, for being a friend to Mage Alain.”
“Friend?” Asha gazed into the distance. “I have not heard that word for so long a time, Mechanic. I have no friend.”
“Yes, you do,” Mari said impulsively. “You’ve got Alain. He’s your friend. He’s told me about you, and he thinks about you and he…he cares about you, I think. And…and if you want…you have me. Any friend of Alain’s is a friend of mine. My name is Mari.”
Those brilliant blue eyes pinned her. “Mari. This is what Mage Alain calls you?”
“Yes.”
“You have saved his life before, but he may yet die because of you.”
“I know.” Mari’s words came out in a miserable whisper this time.
“Yet he chose you over the wisdom he and I were taught.” Asha reached out very slowly with one hand, until her finger pressed lightly against Mari’s cheek for a moment. “If you are no longer a shadow to Mage Alain, then I will try to see you differently…Mari. I will find out what I can of the Guild’s plans for Mage Alain, and give what warning I may. If Mechanic Mari can face a dragon for the sake of protecting Mage Alain, I can scarcely do less.” She turned those brilliant blue eyes on Alain, the ends of her blond hair swinging around her hips as her head moved. “I will do what I can for Mage Alain.”
Mari hoped the jealous feelings that hit her again didn’t show.
Asha turned back to Mari. “I have much to think on. I have been taught that all is false, and that Mechanics are doubly false. Yet I see no lie in you or in Alain when he speaks of you. Will you betray Mage Alain?”
“I’ll die before I do that,” Mari replied.
“I see that again you do not speak falsely. There is much I must consider. A different wisdom. Now I must go. Other Mages in this city might wonder why I linger here and sense Mage Alain near me. I will find out what I can, then I will seek Mage Alain wherever he may be.” With another long look at Alain, the female Mage walked away without any word of farewell, quickly disappearing among the foliage.
Alain stared in the direction Asha had gone. “I had not known she remembered my trying to catch her.”
Feeling awkward, Mari cleared her throat. “How old were you?”
“It was within a few days of arriving at the Guild Hall. I was still five years old.”
“So Asha was seven?”
“I believe so.”
She could stay jealous of that gorgeous female Mage, or she could accept that Asha could be Alain’s friend. “I’m not surprised you tried to help. Even when we first met, you still managed to remember what help meant.”
Alain looked downward, his face revealing some distress to Mari. “I find I have doubts of Asha, worries that I cannot trust her. She does not remember what trust means.”
I’m glad you said that and not me. I’m already feeling too catty as it is. “You could be trusted before you remembered that word.”
Alain gazed in the direction the female Mage had gone. “Perhaps Asha will remember feelings.”
“Yeah,” Mari said. “She apparently already remembers feelings about you. What were these talks you and she both recall?”
“A few words, in moments when we were not watched by Mages or older acolytes.” Alain looked down, his gaze distant with memory. “The only traces of companionship we had in those first months, before we learned to deal with feeling nothing. Before that, when I despaired, her words gave me hope.”
Mari thought Alain sounded regretful but also resigned, as if speaking of something which might have been but was forever lost. “You didn’t love her? Even a little?”
Alain glanced at Mari. “I was too young to think of such things. I had no sister, but I felt as if she were one.”
“A sister? You think of a woman that gorgeous as a sister, but you fell in love with me?”
“You are more beautiful than Asha. I see this inside of you as well as outside.”
Mari shook her head. “Have I told you that you sound totally crazy sometimes? You expect me to believe that she never lit any fires in you, and I did?”
“Yes,” Alain replied, his tone faintly bewildered as he looked at her. “Asha never changed the way I saw things, as you have.”
That reminded her of something. “What did you tell her about me? That I define your world or something? I couldn’t believe you said that.”
Alain nodded. “You define the world I see. Yes. I needed to explain what you mean to me in terms another Mage would understand.”
Mari could feel her lips quivering but tried to fight off laughter. “Alain, I ‘define the world’ for you? That’s too much.”
“Too much?”
“It’s so sweet, it’s nauseating.”
Alain pondered her words. “What is wrong with that statement? I see the false world through my own illusions. You are now my reference for those illusions. Why should that make you feel ill? You define the world I see.”
Maybe it was relief that the meeting with Asha had gone well, or at least had not turned into an ambush. Maybe it was also relief that Asha and Alain hadn’t betrayed any romantic feelings for each other—not that they had betrayed many feelings of any sort. Maybe it was Alain’s apparently sincere inability to see how his words sounded to someone who wasn’t a Mage. Whatever it was, Mari couldn’t stop it any more, breaking into open laughter. “I can’t stand it. Oh, Alain. It’s just…just…sickening!” Mari kept laughing all the way out of the park.
* * * *
The long walk to the home of Professor S’san gave Mari time to sober up except for an occasional giggle, which appeared to be a relief to her companion. “Alain, you do know that I never laugh at you, right? I always think of it as us sharing a joke.”
Alain had a serious expression as he nodded. “This is part of what love means, is it not? To share things? But sometimes I do not understand why you find something humorous. Is that also part of love? To not understand everything about the one you love?”
“My Mage,” Mari said, “truer words were never spoken.”
Mari’s former teacher lived on a hill in an apartment facing the waters of Lake Bellad. The building itself looked to be a little more than a century old, but that could be deceptive, since the simple, clean lines of its two stories and balconies facing the lake were of a style which had been used off and on for hundreds of years. From the top of the hill, those on the balconies could look down across the rooftops of a stretch of Severun until the lake’s bright blue waters began. The surface of the vast lake continued on to the horizon, vanishing into a gray haze in the distance.
“Nice spot,” Mari commented. “Professor S’san used to talk about Lake Bellad sometimes. She really liked Severun, so I wasn’t surprised when I found out she had retired here. That she had retired was a surprise, but not that she came here afterwards. No, the odd thing is that she’s not living in the retirement area of the Severun Guild Hall. There aren’t many Mechanics who live among commons when they retire.”
“They are like Mages, then?” Alain asked. “Elders live in the Mage Guild Halls until they pass from this dream.”
“Right.” Mari looked around, evaluating the neighborhood. “This looks like a decent area to live in, but still, it’s odd. Why choose to live here after spending your entire life in a Guild Hall? It’s lucky for us, though. If Professor S’san had chosen to retire inside a Guild Hall, with no reason to go outside it, then talking to her might have been impossible.”
“Perhaps that is why she chose to live here instead of in a Guild Hall,” Alain suggested.
“But that would mean…that Professor S’san expected me, or other Mechanics, to need to talk to her without the Senior Mechanics knowing. Alain, can you see any sign of danger?”
Alain shook his head, looking around carefully. The neighborhood was a quiet one, with little foot or wagon traffic at midday. “I can sense no Mages near. Neither my eyes nor my foresight warn of danger.”
“I can?
??t see any sign that my Guild is watching the place, either. The bureaucratic wheels inside the Mechanics Guild leadership must still be turning slowly, and haven’t gotten around to tracking my former teachers.”
Inside the building, they went up the single staircase and then walked along a narrow corridor lined with doors until they reached the apartment with the number Mari was seeking. “I don’t know how she’ll react to you, Alain, but Professor S’san always struck me as smart and open-minded.”
“I can pretend to be a common.”
Mari hesitated, then shook her head firmly. “No. I’m not ashamed of you. If Professor S’san is the person I think she is, she’ll accept you. If she doesn’t accept you, that’s her loss.”
Mari knocked, waiting.
“You are worried,” Alain murmured.
“Not worried. Nervous.” Before Mari could say anything else, footsteps sounded, then the door opened and an older but still vigorous woman dressed in casual clothing and a Mechanics jacket looked out.
Professor S’san rested her eyes on Mari, not speaking for several seconds, then nodded. “Mari. This is a surprise.”
Mari felt a strange combination of affection, respect and anger as she gazed at her old teacher. “I thought for once that somebody besides me ought to be surprised.”
S’san twisted her lips in an ambiguous expression, then focused on Alain. “And who is this?”
“The only reason I lived long enough to get here.”
Professor S’san nodded once more, looking unhappy. “It wasn’t supposed to happen that way, Mari. You know that there is an arrest order out for you?”
“Yes.”
“I have no intention of acting on that order, Mari. Please come inside, if you still trust me enough to accept my hospitality.”
Mari nodded, beckoning Alain to follow. The apartment wasn’t spacious, but Mari saw that Professor S’san had set it up to mimic her old offices at the Mechanics Guild Academy. A desk dominated one side of the living area, facing a couple of comfortable chairs and a sofa. Beyond the sofa lay a small kitchen with a coal-fired stove for cooking and heat, and past that a door doubtless leading to the bedroom. Just as in S’san’s old office, everything was in subdued earth tones, with straightforward lines and angles rather than elaborate decoration. Missing from the walls, though, were the Mechanics Guild citations and technical drawings which the professor had once displayed. In their place, the apartment walls held only a few paintings showing the ancient port of Landfall and some ships at sea with all sails set.