Large hands caught my waist and swept me off my feet. Gerik pulled me against him. “You’re beautiful, you know? I could watch you dance all night.”
“You could,” I laughed. I felt suddenly bold, a combination of the alcohol and his nearness. “But I’d get lonely dancing all by myself.” Before he could respond, I kissed him hard and let the heat building slowly between us flare to life.
“Trinity,” Gerik gasped for air as I eagerly went for his lips again.
“What?” Pulling his pony holders out of his braids, I ran my fingers through the wavy strands, freeing them. His chest heaved against mine as his breathing grew ragged.
“You’re never going to be alone again,” he rasped.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Xan finally added something new to my regime. Only instead of putting bullets in the guns, he’d decided instead to teach me how to relax. When I asked him how any of this pertained to fighting he gave me a pointed look.
“When Skin Eaters are chasing you down, fangs chomping at the bit, slathering and sloshing all over the place, ready to rip into you, make you their dinner, and use your bones for dessert picks, what exactly do you want to be focused on?”
I swallowed hard picturing just that. “Shooting them in the head,” I answered timidly.
He laughed. “Say you are overwhelmed with fear for your life, you’re alone being chased and those monsters are closing in on you and you only have one gun. Tell me, what are you going to do?”
I shrugged. “Try and shoot them all in the head?”
“Good luck with that.” He sighed. “It’s hard, but if you can relax enough to not be overwhelmed when you are in danger, it might just save your life. It’s important to have a clear mind with multiple targets. Shoot at one while you’re kicking another. When he’s down, shoot the other; it might be the only way you get out alive. But you’re not going to be able to do any of that if you are half-crazed with fear.”
“Wow,” I said, surprised by the conviction in his voice. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you so serious before.”
“I can leave,” he threatened. “Right now.”
“Okay,” I quickly conceded. “Let’s relax me.”
He stood behind me, had me close my eyes, and shake out my arms and neck in an attempt at clearing my mind.
It didn’t exactly work.
“Forget about camp, Trin – about everyone here. Don’t think about chores or Gerik’s bad taste in hair styles.”
I snorted.
“Just erase your mind. Think of a chalkboard and wipe everything away. Take deep breaths – remember, in through your nose and out through your mouth, just like I showed you.” He walked around me. “The mind is a pretty awesome thing, fată. You can lose yourself inside it if you want; let the world disappear. You just have to remember to pull yourself back out again.”
We were near the edge of the front lot, surrounded by all things green. Xan had picked this particular spot because of the oak trees – their large canopies, the tall grass, and wildflowers growing around them. He’d said it was peaceful and the best place to relax.
We were close enough to the creek that I could hear the faint rushing sound of water over the rocks, and every so often the chirp or caw of a bird. The buzzing of insects would get loud and then quiet as they flew around me. I could still hear the faint drone of voices – it was impossible not to – but we were far enough from the living lot that it wasn’t loud or distracting.
“Good,” Xan said. “Good. Don’t forget the breathing.”
Pssh. As if he’d ever let me.
“Fată, before you completely let go, choose a word or phrase, something to ground you as you slip away. Something that will remind you that you need to come back to me.”
I felt Xan’s warm breath against my ear as he leaned in close. “And remember Trin, your safe here, the wards are strong and I’m not leaving. Eşti în siguranţă.”
Eşti în siguranţă. I’m safe.
Something that felt like déjà vu flickered inside me. A kaleidoscope of reds, blues, purples and greens flashed before me. I watched them change shape and form as they danced across my line of sight, turning inside and out. I became transfixed and mesmerized as I cascaded further into the deep recesses of my mind.
My vision of colors and shapes tunneled, then widened as a burst of white light broke through the colors.
I felt soft and feathery grass beneath me. The rush of water, pouring down the side of the mountain ledge into the deep warm springs filled my ears, soothing me.
I smiled. He was singing again. For me and only for me. How had I lived this life without him by my side? My past was unfathomable to me now. He was everything; he was my now, my future, my forever.
Something was tickling my arm. A spider! I hated spiders! I screamed, jumped up and shook the nasty creature off me, screaming even after the thing was gone.
Warm arms wrapped around me from behind, the contact electrifying and instantly soothing. I sighed against it, reveled in the familiarity, the passion and the love I always found there.
“I’ve got you Treime, you’re safe here. I’m not leaving. You’re safe.”
I’m safe.
“Trinity?” Someone was tapping on my forehead. “Trinity?”
I blinked, my eyes protesting the intrusion. A shadow of a man stood in front of me. “Trin? Wake up.”
My heart jumped. “Xan?” I opened my eyes.
Xan was looking at me strangely. “You did really… well… where did you go, fată?”
“I’m not really sure.” But I felt as if I’d just been torn kicking and screaming from a really great dream.
He studied me for a second longer. “Come on, you’ve got drills to do, then you get to use me as a human punching bag.”
“Live drills?”
Xan grinned at the anticipation in my voice. “Not yet.” He tapped me on the nose like one would a child and I stuck my tongue out at him.
“You keep doing that, Trin, and I’m going to be forced to kiss you again.” He leered at me and I quickly put my tongue away. “Was it really that horrible fată? Kissing me?” His tone suggested annoyance. Xan, I assumed, didn’t get rejected very often.
Ugh, gods, I didn’t want to have this conversation. I looked at my bare feet. The very tips of my toes were still painted hot pink. Nail polish – who would have thought it would ever be so unattainable? I thought of Fifi and her bright red nails and almost laughed at the idea of her being willing to share nail polish with me.
“Trin?”
Okay, so he wasn’t going to drop it. I didn’t know Xan well enough to know the best way to mollify his ego, or if such a thing was even possible.
“Xan,” I said, still trying for avoidance. “How about we get back to practice?”
“Trin,” he responded, more than equipped to beat me at my own game. “How about you answer the question?”
Grrr.
“It was… um… interesting,” I finally said.
He narrowed his eyes. “In what way?”
I blew out a breath. If he wanted the truth, then I’d give him the truth. It was no more than he would do if the situation was reversed.
“In a not so good way,” I conceded.
It was almost as if Xan had been expecting an answer along those lines. He didn’t seem surprised; he just quirked an eyebrow and turned around, suddenly very interested in the guns he’d brought to practice. I felt bad and I wasn't quite sure why. It wasn’t as if Xan had trouble finding girls.
The more I thought about the kiss the more I wondered about my reaction to it. I hardly found Xan unattractive; quite the opposite. It hadn’t been me that was personally repelled by him – it had been something… else.
I was willing to bet that whatever was wrong with me had nothing to do with me and everything to do with this thing between Gerik and me.
******
I left practice with a bevy of questions for Gerik. Starting with his
hair-braiding legend, I was going to throw in a splash of “why do I have my own special brand of male repellent” and eventually end with a big old bowl of “what in Hades is really going on with us and don’t give me that ‘we’re special’ crap anymore”. I wanted answers. No more vague responses.
“Hey Trinity.” Stevo smiled as I walked past him. I waved back.
My body instantly recognized Gerik’s the closer I got to his side of the living lot. The pull was stronger than I’d ever felt it before. I was almost to his trailer when my body clenched and a sudden burning need to touch Gerik took over. I started jogging for his front door.
“Trinity!” Stevo reappeared out of nowhere. “Don’t go in –”
I burst through the door.
“…there,” he finished.
The door to Gerik’s small room was closed, but the sounds coming from the tiny room were unmistakable. Mortification set in. The draw to Gerik had been incredibly strong without him near me. I’d been able to sense his pleasure and I’d wanted him because of it. I suddenly felt nauseated but glad for the sickness. Who wanted to experience the pleasure of someone else’s sex?
“I’m sorry, Trinity.” Stevo looked like he was about to cry. At sixteen, he was even younger than Tahyra had been when I’d lost her. He wasn’t nearly as reclusive or as shy as his older brother, Hockey, but he was still very sensitive.
I shook my head, unable to speak.
“Come on, let’s go get some coffee.” Stevo held out his hand. I grasped it just as Gerik’s bedroom door opened.
“Shit,” Gerik said, reaching behind himself for a blanket to cover his nakedness.
“Nice to see you, Trinity,” Onyx piped up cheerfully, her head peeking out from around Gerik.
I could only stare. Sweaty and flushed, his hair a mess, Gerik looked like the poster child for sexual indulgence. My body instantly responded, and the burning need for the man in front of me had unfortunately resumed. Annoyingly, magic co-exists separately from brain cells.
“Can we help you with something?” Onyx asked. “Or are you just going to stand there and gawk?”
Oh, holy goddesses. I’d never wished anyone dead until now. That man is mine and I will wage war against her the likes of which no one has ever seen. May the birds of Ares pick the skin from her bones and vultures use her leftovers to feed their young.
Squeezing Stevo’s hand, I ground my teeth together, trying not to explode.
“He is mine,” I told Onyx, my voice shaking, “You –”
“Trinity.” I jumped at the sound of Gerik’s voice. He was staring down at me with his beautiful blue eyes, all-knowing and full of guilt.
Gods, what was wrong with me? This wasn’t me. I didn’t wish people dead over guys I’d only known for a few months.
I cleared my throat, just to make sure my voice didn’t break. “Stay away from me, Gerik. I don’t ever want to see you again.”
Smiling with satisfaction, Onyx disappeared back into his bedroom.
Something cold and painful slithered through me and I felt the need to take back what I'd said. My betraying body still begged to go to him, to touch him, and connect with him on any level.
“Don’t fight it,” he whispered. My eyes flared. I couldn’t be certain if he’d spoken the words aloud or in my mind, but it didn’t matter. How dare he sleep with her and then have the nerve to tell me to accept the fact that I had somehow been magically shackled to him?
I pressed my palms to my temples and screamed from within, forcing the need for him back to the bowels of my mind.
He winced.
The feelings fled abruptly. And I left.
CHAPTER TWELVE
“What has gotten into you, fată?” Xan had his hands up, palms facing front. I jumped forward, rocking from my heels to my toes. With my head down and eyes up, I slammed first my right fist into his right palm and then my left fist into his left palm.
“Working off some pent up aggression?” he asked, grinning at me as he jumped backwards, beckoning me with two fingers. “Come and get me, baby.”
I rolled my eyes and wiped the sweat off my face with my arm. “Don’t tempt me.”
“You couldn’t take me,” he said, grinning, “I’m too much man for you, Trin.”
“You’re too much of something,” I agreed.
His already dark and deadly looking eyes grew even darker. He punched his own palm and put his hands up again. “Let’s go then – put some of the energy you waste talking my ear off with your useless Greek stories into your punches.”
I narrowed my eyes.
With his teeth bared, he shook his head, causing his dreads to fly out all around him.
“That’s it, get real angry, Trin. Then come over here and show me just how angry you are. Maybe then you might get close to landing something resembling a decent punch.”
I ran at him with everything I had.
He sidestepped my first punch and easily blocked my next two, all with an infuriating grin on his face. On a whim I pretended to aim for his jaw and instead dealt him a solid blow in the stomach, then ducked. When he lunged for me, I spun out of his reach, only I wasn’t fast enough. His hand wrapped around my arm in a bruising grip.
I had a small window of time before he was going to crush me to him and bring me down hard on the ground. This had happened too many times already. I'd go straight to Hades and take Persephone’s place before I let it happen again.
As Xan turned me toward him, I quickly brought up my knee, deftly turned my hip over and snapped my leg outward from the knee, delivering the deadly strike against his shin with the ball of my foot.
Eyes wide, tottering on one foot, Xan fell to the ground. His hold on me weakened and his hand slid down my arm. Realizing what was happening, he tightened his grip as it was about to slide past my wrist. With one hard pull he yanked me down with him and I fell in an unceremonious sprawl on top of him.
“Who showed you how to do a roundhouse?” Xan gasped.
I giggled. “Marko.”
He flipped me over, pinning me underneath his massive body, bringing me face to face with the cynical curve of his lips, the sharp pull of his cheekbones and the exotic slant of his dark, alluring eyes.
My pulse quickened.
My mouth dried.
My body heated.
And none of it was magically induced.
I pushed at his chest, suddenly terrified of what was happening to me. “Get off me!”
“And if I don’t?” he asked, his tone nonchalant.
I might turn to Jell-O. “I’ll scream.”
He laughed, the sound deep and throaty and full of pure masculine dominance, daring me to scream as loud as I liked.
“Afraid I might try and kiss you again, fată?”
Oh goddesses.
I licked my lips. “Pp...please don’t.”
His grip on my biceps flexed and his mouth thinned. “Right.” He jumped up and offered me a hand, lifting me to my feet. “I had forgotten how horrible it was.”
Actually, I’d been so caught up in my reaction to Xan that I’d forgotten how awful that kiss had been. I’d never before experienced the conscious desire of wanting someone. Not really, not like this. With Gerik I always felt like I’d suddenly ran right into a brick wall of lust. This was the opposite, softer, and gave me time to ponder my feelings.
This must have been what other girls had been acting so freakishly crazy about my entire life; the reason for their obsessive behavior about hair and makeup and finding the perfect outfit. Now, their endless conversations about boys, boys and more boys, that I could never seem to find any interest in, made perfect sense.
My stomach was doing a funny little tap dance and I had a fleeting worry about my own hair.
“So…” Xan began, “How about some live rounds?”
I looked up, surprised.
“Gotcha!” he yelled. With a wink he took off running.
“Xan!” I screamed, running after him.
“I’m so going to kill you!”
He grinned over his shoulder, “That would mean you have to catch me first!”
******
If I’d had to guess at how long it was going to take before Gerik showed his face, begging for forgiveness from me for being a man-whore, I’d of said a day or two. I’d based this guess on how he’d never before been able to leave me in peace for more than a few hours at a time.
I’d never have guessed he’d actually avoid me for two entire weeks.
I had just settled down near a low burning fire for reading hour with Alana’s three little ones – Adi, Daniella and little Benyamin Jr., Hockey’s little sister, Simza, and the Moldoveanu twins Pali and Mala. We were reading one of Maisera’s books, an older version of Grimms’ Fairy Tales, the leather bound cover cracked and worn.
“Can we talk?” Gerik asked, interrupting the woodsman’s assault on Snow White.
“I’m busy.”
“I’ll wait, yeah?”
“I’ll be awhile.”
“Trinity,” he pleaded.
I looked up at him, noticing the small black and blue marks on his neck – from Onyx. Jealously, immediately followed by anger, flooded me. I couldn’t take much more of this. Here he was, more than likely wanting to talk me back into our dysfunctional relationship when he was wearing physical evidence from his other one.
In the end it was the tired, defeated look about him; the fact that his hair wasn’t braided and the dark circles under his eyes did me in.
Despite my anger and all my confusion about us, seeing him hurting hurt me. I nodded my answer and continued reading. And reading. I read until most of the children had gotten bored and wandered off. Gerik had to have known that I was intentionally making him wait as long as possible, but he didn’t say a word. He continued to sit patiently as I read story after story until Alana came by to pick up Benyamin Jr., who had fallen asleep in my lap.
I closed the book and let out a long, suffering sigh. “What do you want?”
“Can we talk somewhere private?"
I folded my arms across my chest. “Here is good. Plenty of people around to witness magically forced orgasms.”