Shall I take you home? asked Nahadoth. Behind me.
Home?
Sky.
Ah, yes. Home, for Arameri.
Lets go, I said.
Darkness enveloped me. When it cleared, we were in Skys forecourt again, though at the Garden of the Hundred Thousand this time rather than the Pier. A path of polished stones wound between neat, orderly flower beds, each overhung with a different type of exotic tree. In the distance, through the leaves, I could see the starry sky and the mountains that met it.
I walked through the garden until I found a spot with an unimpeded view, beneath a miniature satinbell tree. My thoughts turned in slow, lazy spirals. I was growing used to the cool feel of Nahadoth behind me.
My weapon, I said to him.
As you are mine.
I nodded, sighing into a breeze that lifted my hair and set the leaves of the satinbell a-rustle. As I turned to face Nahadoth, a scud of cloud passed across the moons crescent. His cloak seemed to inhale in that dim instant, growing impossibly until it almost eclipsed the palace in rippling waves of black. Then the cloud passed, and it was just a cloak again.
I felt like that cloak all of a suddenwild, out of control, giddily alive. I lifted my arms and closed my eyes as another breeze gusted. It felt so good.
I wish I could fly, I said.
I can gift you with that magic, for a time.
I shook my head, closing my eyes to sway with the wind. Magic is wrong. I knew that oh, so well now.
He said nothing to that, which surprised me until I thought deeper. After witnessing so many generations of Arameri hypocrisy, perhaps he no longer cared enough to complain.
It was tempting, so tempting, to stop caring myself. My mother, Darr, the succession; what did any of it matter? I could forget all of that so easily, and spend the remainder of my lifeall four days of itindulging any whim or pleasure I wanted.
Any pleasure, except one.
Last night, I said, lowering my arms at last. Why didnt you kill me?
Youre more useful alive.
I laughed. I felt light-headed, reckless. Does that mean Im the only person in Sky who has nothing to fear from you? I knew it was a stupid question before I finished speaking, but I do not think I was entirely sane in that moment.
Fortunately, the Nightlord did not answer my stupid, dangerous question. I glanced back at him to gauge his mood and saw that his nightcloak had changed again. This time the wisps had spun long and thin, drifting through the garden like layers of campfire smoke. The ones nearest me curled inward, surrounding me on all sides. I was reminded of certain plants in my homeland, which grew teeth or sticky tendrils to ensnare insects.
And at the heart of this dark flower, my bait: his glowing face, his lightless eyes. I stepped closer, deeper into his shadow, and he smiled.
You wouldnt have had to kill me, I said softly. I ducked my head and looked up at him through my lashes, curving my body in silent invitation. I had seen prettier women do this all my life, yet never dared myself. I lifted a hand and moved it toward his chest, half-expecting to touch nothing and be snatched forward into darkness. But this time there was a body within the shadows, startling in its solidity. I could not see it, or my own hand where I touched him, but I could feel skin, smooth and cool beneath my fingertips.
Bare skin. Gods.
I licked my lips and met his eyes. Theres a great deal you could have done without compromising my usefulness.
Something in his face changed, like a cloud across the moon: the shadow of the predator. His teeth were sharper when he spoke. I know.
Something in me changed, too, as the wild feeling went still. That look in his face. Some part of me had been waiting for it.
Would you? I licked my lips again, swallowed around sudden tightness in my throat. Kill me? If I asked?
There was a pause.
When the Lord of Night touched my face, fingertips tracing my jaw, I thought I was imagining things. There was an unmistakable tenderness in the gesture. But then, just as tenderly, the hand slid farther down and curled around my neck. As he leaned close, I closed my eyes.
Are you asking? His lips brushed my ear as he whispered.
I opened my mouth to speak and could not. All at once I was trembling. Tears welled in my eyes, spilled down my face onto his wrist. I wanted to speak, to ask, so badly. But I just stood there, trembling and crying, while his breath tickled my ear. In and out. Three times.
Then he released my neck, and my knees buckled. I fell forward, and suddenly I was buried in the soft, cool dark of him, pressed against a chest I could not see, and I began sobbing into it. After a moment, the hand that had almost killed me cupped the nape of my neck. I must have bawled for an hour, though maybe it was less. I dont know. He held me tight the whole time.
20
The Arena
ALL THAT REMAINS OF THE TIME before the Gods War is whispered myth and half-forgotten legend. The priests are quick to punish anyone caught telling these tales. There was nothing before Itempas, they say; even in the age of the Three, he was first and greatest. Still, the legends persist.
For example: it is said that once people made sacrifices of flesh to the Three. They would fill a room with volunteers. Young, old, female, male, poor, wealthy, healthy, infirm; all the variety and richness of humanity. On some occasion that was sacred to all Threethis part has been lost with timethey would call out to their gods and beg them to partake of the feast.
Enefa, it is said, would claim the elders and the illthe epitome of mortality. She would give them a choice: healing or gentle, peaceful death. The tales say more than a few chose the latter, though I cannot imagine why.
Itempas took then what he takes nowthe most mature and noble, the brightest, the most talented. These became his priests, setting duty and propriety above all else, loving him and submitting to him in all things.
Nahadoth preferred youths, wild and carefreethough he would claim the odd adult, too. Anyone willing to yield to the moment. He seduced them and was seduced by them; he reveled in their lack of inhibition and gave them everything of himself.
The Itempans fear talk of that age will lead people to yearn for it anew and turn to heresy. I think perhaps they overestimate the danger. Try as I might, I cannot imagine what it was like to live in a world like that, and I have no desire to return to it. We have enough trouble with one god now; why in the Maelstrom would we want to live again under three?
* * *
I wasted the next day, a quarter of my remaining life. I had not meant to. But I had not returned to my rooms until nearly dawn, my second night of little sleep, and my body demanded recompense by sleeping past noon. I had dreams of a thousand faces, representing millions, all distorted with agony or terror or despair. I smelled blood and burned flesh. I saw a desert littered with fallen trees because it had once been a forest. I woke up weeping; such was my guilt.
Late that afternoon there was a knock at the door. Feeling lonely and neglectednot even Sieh had come to visitI went to answer, hoping it was a friend.
It was Relad.
What in the names of every useless god have you done? he demanded.
* * *
The arena, Relad had told me. Where the highbloods played at war.
That was where I would find Scimina, who had somehow found out about my efforts to counter her meddling. He had said it between curses and profanities and much maligning of my inferior halfbreed bloodlines, but that much I understood. What Scimina had found out Relad did not seem to know, which gave me some hope but not much.
I was shaking with tension when I emerged from the lift amid a crowd of backs. Those nearest the lift had made some space, perhaps after being jostled from behind by new arrivals too many times, but beyond that was a solid wall of people. Most were white-clad servants; a few were better dressed, bearing the marks of quarter- or eighthbloods. Here and there I rubbed against brocade or silk as I gave up politeness and just started pushing my way throug
h. It was slow going because most of them towered over me, and because they were wholly riveted on whatever was happening at the center of the room.
From where I could hear screaming.
I might never have gotten there if someone hadnt glanced back, recognized me, and murmured to someone else nearby. The murmur rippled through the crowd, and abruptly I found myself the focus of dozens of silent, pent stares. I stumbled to a halt, unnerved, but the way ahead abruptly cleared as they moved aside for me. I hurried forward, then stopped in shock.
On the floor knelt a thin old man, naked, chained in a pool of blood. His white hair, long and lank, hung round his face, obscuring it, though I could hear him panting raggedly for breath. His skin was a webwork of lacerations. If it had just been his back, I would have thought him flogged, but it was not just his back. It was his legs, his arms, his cheeks and chin. He was kneeling; I saw cuts on the soles of his feet. He pushed himself upright awkwardly, using the sides of his wrists, and I saw that a round red hole in the back of each showed bone and tendon clearly.
Another heretic? I wondered, confused.
I wondered how much blood I would have to draw before someone went running for you, said a savage voice beside me, and as I turned something came at my face. I raised my hands instinctively and felt a thin line of heat cross my palms; something had cut me.
I did not pause long enough to assess the damage, springing back and drawing my knife. My hands still worked, though blood made the hilt slippery. I shifted it to a defensive grip and crouched, ready to fight.
Across from me stood Scimina, gowned in shining green satin. The flecks of blood that had sprayed across her dress looked like tiny ruby jewels. (There were flecks on her face as well, but those just looked like blood.) In her hands was something that I did not at first realize was a weapona long, silver wand, ornately decorated, perhaps three feet in length. But at the tip was a short double-edged blade, thin as a surgeons scalpel, made of glass. Too short and strangely weighted to be a spear, more like an elaborate fountain pen. Some Amn weapon?
Scimina smirked at my drawn blade, but instead of raising her own weapon, she turned away and resumed pacing around the circle that the crowd had formed, with the old man at its center. How like a barbarian. You cant use a knife against me, Cousin; it would shatter. Our blood sigils prevent all life-threatening attacks. Honestly, youre so ignorant. What are we going to do with you?
I stayed in my crouch and kept hold of my knife anyway, pivoting to keep her in sight as she walked. As I did so, I saw faces among the crowd that I recognized. Some of the servants whod been at the Fire Day party. A couple of Dekartas courtiers. Tvril, white-lipped and stiff; his eyes fixed on me in something that might have been warning. Viraine, standing forward from the rest of the crowd; he had folded his arms and stood gazing into the middle distance, looking bored.
Zhakkarn and Kurue. Why were they there? They were watching me, too. Zhakkarns expression was hard and cold; I had never seen her show anger so clearly before. Kurue was furious, too, her nostrils flared and hands tight at her sides. The look in her eyes would have flayed me if it could. But Scimina was already flaying someone, so I focused on the greater threat for the moment.
Sit up! Scimina barked, and the old man jerked upright as if on strings. I could see now that there were fewer cuts on his torso, though as I watched Scimina walked past him and flicked the wand, and another long, deep slice opened on the old mans abdomen. He cried out again, his voice hoarse, and opened eyes hed shut in reaction to the pain. That was when I caught my breath, because the old mans eyes were green and sharpfold and then I realized how the shape of his face would be familiar if he were sixty years younger and dearest gods, dearest Skyfather, it was Sieh.
Ah, Scimina said, interpreting my gasp. That does save time. You were right, Tvril; she is sweet on him. Did you send one of your people to fetch her? Tell the fool to be quicker next time.
I glared at Tvril, who clearly had not sent for me. His face was paler than usual, but that strange warning was still in his eyes. I almost frowned in confusion, but I could feel Sciminas gaze like a vulture, hovering over my facial expressions and ready to savage the emotions they revealed.
So I schooled myself to calmness, as my mother had taught me. I rose from my fighting crouch, though I only lowered my knife to my side and did not sheathe it. Scimina probably would not know, but among Darre, this was disrespecta sign that I did not trust her to behave like a woman.
Im here now, I said to her. State your purpose.
Scimina uttered a short, sharp laugh, never ceasing her pacing. State my purpose. She sounds so martial, doesnt she? She looked around the crowd; no one answered her. So strong. Tiny, ill-bred, pathetic little thing that she iswhat do you THINK my purpose is, you fool? She shouted this last at me, her fists clenched at her sides, the odd wand-weapon quivering. Her hair, up in an elaborate coif that was still lovely, was coming undone. She looked exquisitely demented.
I think you want to be Dekartas heir, I said softly, and the gods help all the world if you succeed.
Quick as wind, Scimina went from a screaming madwoman to smiling charm. True. And I meant to begin with your land, stomping it ever so thoroughly out of existence. In fact I should have begun doing so already, if not for the fact that the alliance I so carefully put together in that region is now falling apart. She resumed pacing, glancing back at me over her shoulder, turning the wand delicately in her hands. I thought at first the problem might be that old High North woman youve been meeting at the Salon. But I looked into that; shes only given you information, and most of it useless. So youve done something else. Would you care to explain?
My blood went cold. What had Scimina done to Ras Onchi? Then I looked at Sieh, who had recovered himself somewhat, though he still looked weak and dazed from pain. He was not healing, which made no sense. I had stabbed Nahadoth in the heart and it had been barely a nuisance. Yet it had taken time for him to heal, I recalled with a sudden chill. Perhaps, if left alone for a while, Sieh would recover as well. Unless Itempas had trapped the Enefadeh in human form to suffer all the horrors of mortality. They were eternal, powerfulbut not invulnerable. Did the horrors of mortality include death? Sweat stung the cuts on my hands. There were things I was not prepared to endure.
But then the palace shuddered. For an instant I wondered if this tremor signified some new threat, and then I remembered. Sunset.
Oh demons, Viraine muttered into the silence. An instant later I and every other person in the room was thrown sprawling in a blast of wind and bitter, painful cold.
It took me a moment to struggle upright, and when I did, my knife was gone. The room was chaos around me; I heard groans of pain, curses, shouts of alarm. When I glanced toward the lift, I could see several people crowding its opening, trying to cram their way in. I forgot all of this, though, when I looked toward the center of the room.
It was difficult to see Nahadoths face. He crouched near Sieh, his head bowed, and the blackness of his aura was as it had been my first night in Sky, so dark that it hurt the mind. I focused instead on the floor, where the chains that had held Sieh lay shattered, their tips glistening with frost. Sieh himself I could not see entirelyonly one of his hands, dangling limp, before Nahadoths cloak swept around him, swallowing him into darkness.
Scimina. There was that hollow, echoing quality to Nahadoths voice again. Was the madness upon him? No; this was just pure, plain rage.
But Scimina, who had also been knocked to the floor, got to her high-heeled feet and composed herself. Nahadoth, she said, more calmly than I would have imagined. Her weapon was gone, too, but she was a true Arameri, unafraid of the gods wrath. How good of you to join us at last. Put him down.
Nahadoth stood and flicked his cloak back. Sieh, a young man now, whole and clothed, stood beside him glaring defiantly at Scimina. Somewhere deep inside me, a knot of tension relaxed.
We had an agreement, Nahadoth said, still in that voice echoing with m
urder.
Indeed, Scimina said, and now it was her smile that frightened me. Youll serve as well as Sieh for this purpose. Kneel. She pointed at the bloody space and its empty chains.
For an instant the sense of power in the room swelled, like pressure against the eardrums. The walls creaked. I shuddered beneath it, wondering if this was it. Scimina had made some error, left some opening, and now Nahadoth would crush us all like insects.
But then, to my utter shock, Nahadoth moved away from Sieh and went to the center of the room. He knelt.
Scimina turned to me, where I still half-lay on the floor. Shamed, I got to my feet. I was surprised to see that there was still an audience around us, though it was now sparseTvril, Viraine, a handful of servants, perhaps twenty highbloods. I suppose the highbloods took some inspiration from Sciminas fearlessness.
This will be an education for you, Cousin, she said, still in that sweet, polite tone that I was coming to hate. She resumed pacing, watching Nahadoth with an expression that was almost avid. Had you been raised here in Sky, or taught properly by your mother, you would know this but allow me to explain. It is difficult to damage an Enefadeh. Their human bodies repair themselves constantly and swiftly, through the benevolence of our Father Itempas. But they do have weaknesses, Cousin; one must simply understand these. Viraine.
Viraine had gotten to his feet as well, though he seemed to be favoring his left wrist. He eyed Scimina warily. Youll take responsibility with Dekarta?
She swung on him so fast that if the wand had still been in her hand, Viraine might have suffered a mortal wound. Dekarta will be dead in days, Viraine. He is not whom you should fear now.
Viraine stood his ground. Im simply doing my job, Scimina, and advising you on the consequences. It may be weeks before hes useful again
Scimina made a sound of savage frustration. Does it look as though I care?
There was a pent moment, the two of them facing each other, during which I honestly thought Viraine had a chance. They were both fullbloods. But Viraine was not in line for the succession, and Scimina wasand in the end, Scimina was right. It was no longer Dekartas will that mattered.