Why havent you told anyone?
You think I would do that?
Yes.
He laughed, though there was a hard edge to the sound. And you know me so well.
You would do anything to make your life easier.
Ah. Then you do know me. He flopped down in the chairthe only intact piece of furniture in the roomone leg tossed over one arm. But if you know that much, Lady, then you should be able to guess why I would never tell the Arameri of your uniqueness.
I put down the shard of mirror and went to him. Explain, I commanded, because I might pity him, but I would never like him.
He shook his head, as if chiding me for my impatience. I, too, want to be free.
I frowned. But if the Nightlord is ever freed What did happen to a mortal soul buried within a gods body? Would he sleep and never awaken? Would some part of him continue, trapped and aware inside an alien mind? Or would he simply cease to exist?
He nodded, and I realized all of those thoughts and more must have occurred to him over the centuries. He has promised to destroy me, should the day ever come.
And this Naha would rejoice on that day, I realized with a chill. Perhaps he had tried to kill himself before, only to be resurrected the next morning, trapped by magic meant to torment a god.
Well, if all went as planned, he would be free soon.
I rose and went to the remaining undamaged window. The sun was high in the sky, past noon. My last day of life was half over. I was trying to think of how to spend my remaining time when I felt a new presence in the room, and turned. Sieh stood there, looking from the bed to me to Naha, and back again.
You seem well, I said, pleased. He was properly young again, and there was a grass stain on one of his knees. The look in his eyes, though, was far from childish as he focused on Naha. When his pupils turned to ferocious slitsI saw the change this timeI knew Id have to intervene. I went to Sieh, deliberately stepping into his line of sight, and opened my arms to invite him near.
He put his arms around me, which at first seemed affectionate until he picked me up bodily and put me behind him, then turned to face Naha.
Are you all right, Yeine? he asked, sinking into a crouch. It was not a fighters crouch; it was closer to the movement of an animal gathering itself to spring. Naha returned his gaze coolly.
I put my hand on his wire-tight shoulder. Im fine.
This one is dangerous, Yeine. We do not trust him.
Lovely Sieh, said Naha, and there was that cruel edge in his voice again. He opened his arms in a mockery of my own gesture. Ive missed you. Come; give your father a kiss.
Sieh hissed, and I had a moment to wonder whether I had a chance in the infinite hells of holding him. Then Naha laughed and sat back in the chair. Of course he would know exactly how far to push.
Sieh looked as though he was still considering something dire when it finally occurred to me to distract him. Sieh. He did not look at me. Sieh. I was with your father last night.
He swung around to look at me, so startled that his eyes reverted to human at once. Beyond him, Naha chuckled softly.
You couldnt have been, said Sieh. Its been centuries since He paused and leaned close. I saw his nostrils twitch delicately once, twice. Skies and earth. You were with him.
Self-conscious, I surreptitiously sniffed the collar of my robe. Hopefully it was something only gods could detect. Yes.
But he that shouldve Sieh shook his head sharply. Yeine, oh, Yeine, do you know what this means?
It means your little experiment worked better than you thought, said Naha. In the shadows of the chair, his eyes glittered, reminding me just a little of his other self. Perhaps you could give her a try, too, Sieh. You must get tired of perverted old men.
Sieh tensed all over, his hands forming fists. I marveled that he allowed such taunts to work on himbut perhaps that was another of his weaknesses. He had bound himself by the laws of childhood; perhaps one of those laws was no child shall hold his temper when bullied.
I touched his chin and turned his face back around to me. The room. Could you?
Oh. Yes. Pointedly turning his back on Naha, he looked around the room and said something in his own language, fast and high-pitched. The room was abruptly restored, just like that.
Handy, I said.
No ones better at cleaning up messes than me. He flashed me a quick grin.
Naha got up and went to browse one of the restored bookshelves, studiously ignoring us. Belatedly it occurred to me that he had been different before Sieh appearedsolicitous, respectful, almost kind. I opened my mouth to thank him for that, then thought better of it. Sieh had been careful to conceal that side of himself from me, but I had seen the signs of a crueler streak within him. There was very old, very bad blood between these two, and such things were rarely one-sided.
Lets go somewhere else to talk. I have a message for you. Breaking my reverie, Sieh pulled me to the nearest wall. We stepped through it into the dead space beyond.
After a few chambers, Sieh sighed, opened his mouth, closed it, then finally decided to speak. The message I carry is from Relad. He wants to see you.
Why?
I dont know. But I dont think you should go.
I frowned. Why not?
Think, Yeine. You arent the only one facing death tomorrow. When you appoint Scimina heir, the first thing shell do is kill her baby brother, and he knows it. What if he decides that killing youright now, before the ceremonyis the best way to earn himself a few extra days of life? It would be futile, of course; Dekartas seen whats happened with Darr. Hell just designate someone else the sacrifice, and tell that person to choose Scimina. But desperate men do not always think rationally.
Siehs reasoning made sensebut something else did not. Relad ordered you to bring me this message?
No, he asked. And he asks to see you. He said, If you see her, remind her that I am not my sister; I have never done her harm. I know she listens to you. Sieh scowled. Remind herthat was the only part he commanded. He knows how to speak to us. He left me the choice deliberately.
I stopped walking. Sieh got a few paces ahead before he noticed, and turned to me with a puzzled look. And why did you choose to tell me? I asked.
A shadow of unease passed over his face; he lowered his eyes. Its true that I shouldnt have, he said slowly. Kurue wouldnt have allowed it, if shed known. But what Kurue doesnt know A faint smile crossed Siehs face. Well, it can hurt her, but well just have to hope that doesnt happen.
I folded my arms, waiting. He still hadnt answered my question, and he knew it.
Sieh looked annoyed. Youre no fun anymore.
Sieh.
Fine, fine. He slid his hands into his pockets and shrugged with total nonchalance, but his voice was serious. You agreed to help us, thats all. That makes you our ally, not our tool. Kurue is wrong; we shouldnt hide things from you.
I nodded. Thank you.
Thank me by not mentioning it to Kurue. Or Nahadoth or Zhakkarn, while youre at it. He paused, then smiled at me with sudden amusement. Though it seems Nahadoth has his own secrets to hide with you.
My cheeks grew hot. It was my decision. I blurted the words, irrationally compelled to explain. I caught him by surprise, and
Yeine, please. Youre not about to try and tell me you took advantage of him or anything like that, are you?
As I had been about to say exactly that, I fell silent.
Sieh shook his head and sighed. I was startled to see an odd sort of sadness in his smile. Im glad, Yeinemore glad than you know. Hes been so alone since the war.
He isnt alone. He has you.
We comfort him, yes, and keep him from completely letting go of his sanity. We can even be his lovers, though for us the experience is well, as strenuous as it was for you. I blushed again, though some of that was at the disquieting thought of Nahadoth lying with his own children. But the Three had been siblings, after all. The gods did not live by our rules.
As if hearing
that thought, Sieh nodded. Its equals he needs, not pity offerings from his children.
Im not equal to any of the Three, Sieh, no matter whose soul is in me.
He grew solemn. Love can level the ground between mortals and gods, Yeine. Its something weve learned to respect.
I shook my head. This was something I had understood from the moment the mad impulse to make love to a god had come over me. He doesnt love me.
Sieh rolled his eyes. I love you, Yeine, but sometimes you can be such a mortal.
Taken aback, I fell silent. Sieh shook his head and called one of his floating orbs out of nowhere, batting it back and forth in his hands. This one was blue-green, which teased my memories mercilessly. So what do you plan to do about Relad?
Whatoh. So dizzying, this constant switch between matters mundane and divine. Ill meet with him.
Yeine
He wont kill me. In my minds eye, I saw Relads face from two nights ago, framed by the doorway of my room. He had come to tell me of Siehs torture, which even Tvril had not done. Surely hed realized that if Scimina forced me to give up my secrets, she would win the contest. So why had he done it?
I had a private theory, based on that brief meeting in the solarium. I believed that somewhere deep down, Relad was even less of an Arameri than Tvrilperhaps even less than me. Somewhere amid all that bitterness and self-loathing, hidden behind a thousand protective layers, Relad Arameri had a soft heart.
Useless for an Arameri heir, if it was true. Beyond uselessdangerous. But because of it, I was willing to chance trusting him.
I could still choose him, I said to Sieh, and he knows that. It would make no sense, because it would guarantee my peoples suffering. But I could do it. Im his last hope.
You sound very sure of that, Sieh said dubiously.
I had the sudden urge to tousle Siehs hair. He might even enjoy it given his nature, but he would not enjoy the thought that triggered the impulse: Sieh really was a child in one fundamental way. He did not understand mortals. He had lived among us for centuries, millennia, and yet he had never been one of us. He did not know the power of hope.
I am very sure, I said. But I would be grateful if youd come with me.
He looked surprised, though immediately he took my hand. Of course. But why?
Moral support. And in case Im horribly, horribly wrong.
He grinned, and opened another wall that would take us there.
* * *
Relads apartment was as large as Sciminas, and each was three times the size of mine. If I had seen their apartments my first day in Sky, I would have immediately understood that I was not a true contender for Dekartas rule.
The configuration of his quarters was entirely different from Sciminas, however: a huge, open chamber with a short stair near the back leading up to a loft area. The main floor was dominated by a square depression set into the floor, in which a world map had been formed of beautifully colored ceramic tiles. Aside from this the chamber was surprisingly austere, with only a few pieces of furniture, a side bar heavily laden with alcohol bottles, and a small bookshelf. And Relad, who stood by the map looking stiff and formal and uncomfortably sober.
Greetings, Cousin, he said as I came in, and then he paused, glaring at Sieh. I invited only Yeine.
I put a hand on Siehs shoulder. He was concerned that you meant me harm, Cousin. Do you?
What? Of course not! The look of surprise on Relads face reassured me. In fact, everything about this little scene suggested he was set to charm me, and one did not charm expendable people. Why in the Maelstrom would I? Youre no good to me dead.
I set my smile and decided to let this tactless remark slide. Thats good to know, Cousin.
Dont mind me, Sieh said. Im just a fly on the wall.
Relad made an effort and ignored him. Can I get you something? Tea? A drink?
Well, since you asked Sieh began, before I squeezed his shoulder hard. I didnt want to push Relad, at least not yet.
Thank you, no, I said. Though I appreciate the offer. I also appreciate your warning, Cousin, the night before last. I stroked Siehs hair.
Relad wrestled for an appropriate response for a full three seconds before finally muttering, It was nothing.
Why did you invite me here?
I have an offer to make. He gestured vaguely at the floor.
I looked down at the world map in the floor, my eyes automatically finding High North and the tiny corner of it that was Darr. Four polished, flattened white stones sat ranged around Darrs bordersone in each of the three kingdoms that Id suspected were part of the alliance, plus a second stone in Menchey. At Darrs heart sat a single marbled-gray stone, probably representing our pathetic troop strength. But just south of Menchey, along the coast where the continent met the Repentance Sea, were three pale yellow stones. I could not guess what those were.
I looked up at Relad. Darr is all I care about right now. Scimina has offered me my peoples lives. Is that what youre offering?
Potentially more than that. Relad stepped down into the map-depression, walking over to stand just below High North. His feet were in the middle of the Repentance Sea, which struck me as irrationally amusing for a moment.
The white are your enemies, as Im certain youve guessed; Sciminas pawns. Thesehe pointed at the yellow stonesare mine.
I frowned, but before I could speak, Sieh snorted. You have no allies in High North, Relad. Youve ignored the whole continent for years. Sciminas victory is the result of your own neglect.
I know that, Relad snapped, but then he turned to face me. Its true I have no friends in High North. Even if I did, the kingdoms there all hate your land, Cousin. Sciminas simply facilitating what theyve been itching to do for generations.
I shrugged. High North was a land of barbarians once, and we Darre were among the most barbaric. The priests may have civilized us since, but no one can erase the past.
Relad nodded dismissively; he didnt care and it showed. He really was terrible at being charming. He pointed at the yellow stones again. Mercenaries, he said. Mostly Ken and Min pirates, some Ghor nightfighters, and a contingent of Zhurem City strikemen. I can order them to fight for you, Cousin.
I stared at the yellow stones and was reminded of my earlier thought about mortals and the power of hope.
Sieh hopped down into the map-depression and peered at the yellow stones as if he could see the actual forces they represented. He whistled. You mustve bankrupted yourself to hire so many and get them to High North in time, Relad. I didnt realize youd acquired that much capital over the years. He glanced back at Relad and me over his shoulder. But these are too far away to get to Darr by tomorrow. Sciminas friends are already on their way.
Relad nodded, watching me. My forces are close enough to attack Mencheys capital tonight, and even stage a strike on Tokland the day after. Theyre fully equipped, rested, and well supplied. Their battle plans were drawn up by Zhakkarn herself. He folded his arms, a bit defensively. With Menchey under attack, half your enemies will turn back from the assault on Darr. That will leave the Zarenne and the Atir rebels for your people to contend with, and theyll still be outnumbered two to one. But it will give the Darre a fighting chance.
I threw Relad a sharp look. He had gauged me well on thissurprisingly well. Somehow he had realized that it was not the prospect of war that frightened me; I was a warrior, after all. But an unwinnable war, against enemies who would not only take spoils but destroy our spirits, if not our lives that I could not stomach.
Two-to-one odds were winnable. Hard, but winnable.
I glanced at Sieh, who nodded. My instincts told me Relads offer was legitimate, but he knew Relads capabilities and would warn me of any trickery. I think we were both surprised that Relad had managed this at all.
You should abstain from drinking more often, Cousin, I said softly.
Relad smiled, utterly without humor. It wasnt intentional, I assure you. Its just that impending death tends to sour even the best wine.
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I understood completely.
There was another of those awkward silences, and then Relad stepped forward, proferring his hand. Surprised, I took it. We were agreed.
* * *
Later, Sieh and I walked slowly back to my room. He took me on a new route this time, passing through parts of Sky that I had not seen in the two weeks since my arrival. Among other wonders, he showed me a high, narrow chambernot a dead space, but still sealed off and forgotten for some reasonwhose ceiling looked like an accident in the gods construction design. The pale Skystuff hung in attenuated extrusions like cave stalactites, though far more delicate and graceful. A few were close enough to touch; some ended barely inches below the ceiling. I could not fathom the purpose of the chamber until Sieh led me to a panel on the wall.
When I touched it, a slot opened on the ceiling, letting in a sharp, startling gust of ice-cold air. I shivered, but forgot my discomfort when the ceiling extrusions began to sing, stroked into vibration by the wind. It was like no music Id ever heard, wavering and alien, a cacophony too beautiful to call merely noise. I didnt let Sieh touch the panel to shut off the air until I began to lose the feeling in my fingers.
In the silence that fell, during which I crouched against the wall and blew on my hands to warm them, Sieh crouched in front of me, staring at me intently. I was too cold to notice at first, but then he suddenly leaned forward and kissed me. Startled, I froze, but there was nothing unpleasant about it. It was the kiss of a child, spontaneous and unconditional. Only the fact that he was not a child made me uncomfortable.
Sieh pulled back, and sighed ruefully at the expression on my face. Sorry, he said, and settled down beside me.
Dont apologize, I said. Just tell me what that was for. I realized that was an inadvertent command and added, Will you?
He shook his head, playing shy, and pressed his face into my arm. I liked having his warmth there, but I didnt like his silence. I pulled away, forcing him to sit up or risk falling over.