Shilah and Drew are ready to leave, and it’s harder than I thought it was going to be. I knew it was going to be difficult, but I wasn’t prepared for my heart to feel like it’s tearing into a million different pieces. Tears are already falling on my face, and they aren’t even out the door yet.
My body urges me to run with them, to be free, forget my life here, and start new as we have so many other times. I want to live in the woods with Drew and his family, protect Shilah, and live a simple and happy life … but this time it’s different. How happy could I be constantly looking over my shoulder? It’s not a life I wish for anyone, not for myself, and especially not for Drew or Shilah. But I have another option, and they don’t. It’s this or the Institute. And this way, I may get to see them. I don’t know when, but maybe in a few months when things will have hopefully quietened down.
Drew grabs my hand and walks me outside, guiding me to the swing seat on the front porch. I feel sick in my stomach, and my chest is heavy from trying to hold back the tears. I don’t want to say goodbye. To either of them. Drew puts his arm around me, and I lean back, resting my head on his shoulder. We slowly rock back and forth, silent. I can’t bring my eyes up to look at him.
“I need to ask you something.” Drew finally cuts the silence. “I’m taking Shilah with me in the hopes it’ll mean I get to see you again, but there’s one thing I need to know.”
“What’s that?” I swallow the lump in my throat.
“What exactly can Shilah do? I’m asking you and not him because I know how he feels about me. I’m afraid he won’t tell me the whole truth. Could it be helpful in our escape?”
“He doesn’t exactly have control over it even though he’s had it since he was young.” It feels weird talking about it, I promised Shilah I would never do this, but I need to tell Drew what his ability is. It’ll probably be beneficial to helping them get away. “Basically he can see what is going to happen to him before it happens.”
“How far into the future can he see?” Drew asks casually.
I have to keep remembering that talking about this kind of stuff won’t shock Drew, because he too is one of them. The lack of surprise is weird to me. I always expected if anyone found out about Shilah, they would freak out or something.
“It really varies from what I can tell,” I answer. “He knew that we were going to have those blood tests, but not until we were on the bus on the way there, so that’s around two hours. But other times it’s only been up to twenty minutes, so it differs. Also, he can only see how he’s affected by the future. He can’t see the future of other people.”
Drew doesn’t respond, and silence fills the air between us until he finally says, “Come with me. Please.” He kisses me, and it makes me want to run inside right now and pack. I pull away though because I can’t go with him.
“If you want to have any chance of getting to the cabin before they find you, you need me to stay here. I really don’t want to be apart, but I promised Shilah a long time ago I’d do anything to protect him, and while his ability will help somewhat, it’s really unreliable. Most of the things he sees come true, but whatever he does in response to what he sees, changes it, so really anything could possibly change it. He’s not going to be awake twenty-four hours a day just so he can be on watch, is he?” The more I rationalise it, the more I’m convinced I’m doing the right thing. Drew’s silent. I think he knows he’s not going to win.
“Can you promise me something?”
I swallow hard. “Okay?”
“Remember this moment. Remember how you feel about me right now. I know it’s the only thing that’ll be getting me through until I can see you again.”
I don’t have words, so I nod instead.
We kiss, only it’s not like any other kiss we’ve shared; it feels final. I can’t hold back my tears anymore. I’m really starting to regret not saying yes to him that night at the lake. Now we may never get the chance to be together in that way.
“We can go for a quickie if you want?” He laughs and it’s actually quite funny. I should be laughing too, but it only makes me cry more. “Sorry, bad joke.”
“No, it was really funny.” I’d probably be more convincing if I wasn’t blubbering between words.
He embraces me, and I want this moment to last forever, but we both know that it can’t.
Saying goodbye is awkward and upsetting. There are tears everywhere. I swear I even see Dad shed a tear, and he’s the manliest man I know. Dad and I watch as Drew drives away with Shilah in the passenger seat.