I heard the faint echoing of footsteps, the rattling of keys and the sharp tones of the code being entered into the key pad outside the door.
Haydon entered right on cue. Instinctively, I stuffed my notebook under my shirt.
‘Parson, you know the drill, come on.’ He said to me. I stood up, slowly removing my notebook at the same time, sliding it onto my desk and mechanically placed my hands out in front of me for Haydon to cuff. I then followed him out of the room and along the same journey we had taken every weekday since our first day together. Within five minutes I was back sitting in the uncomfortable black plastic chair outside Debbie’s office. Sharon did a very good job of ignoring me, always. I don’t mind, I don’t feel like saying anything insulting to her at the moment.
Through the door I could hear Heavy Debbie’s footsteps getting closer, the handle started turning and the door slowly opened. Debbie poked out her torso.
‘Jenny, come in.’
Instead of strutting into her office like usual, I trudged into her office and headed for the couch, landing onto it with full force, causing a squeaking noise along with a huge gush of air. Debbie raised her over plucked eyebrow at me, I did the same, except my eyebrow is not over plucked; it’s dangerously under plucked.
‘Not feeling well today Jenny?’ She concealed a smirk.
‘I feel fantastic.’ I smiled. Debbie nodded her head up and down slowly, a minuscule smile present.
‘It’s good to see you’re still in high spirits. You know, you’ve been in isolation just over a month now.’
‘Really? I hadn’t been keeping track. Time flies when you’re having a fantastic time. It’s actually not bad there.’ I paused reminiscently. ‘It’s great not having to listen to those idiots on the third floor, or having to put up with Julian.’
‘Julian?’ She squinted at me.
‘You know, Julian, Mike’s seventh personality. Don’t worry, I forgot you are stupid. I’ll try to keep that in mind a little more.’
‘How kind of you.’ Debbie glared. ‘You know, usually most patients, having spent a considerable amount of time in isolation, start to get affected by the treatment. You seem to be quite the exception. Why do you think that is?’
‘I don’t know, maybe because your method,’ I accompanied this word with an appropriate hand gesture, ‘doesn’t work on sane people.’
‘My method has been clinically proven time and time again. Although, I will admit on average it does only have a seventy-three per cent success rate. I was hoping it would work for you, but it doesn’t really look like it is.’ She paused. ‘I’ve been thinking Jenny and it’s probably best for you to go back onto Dr Granger’s treatment plan.’ She mumbled the last few words.
My eyes widened and my mouth opened.
‘I can see why Dr Granger didn’t really take any serious action with your case. I guess he could see you were just a lost cause.’ She covered her mouth quickly, flushing red.
‘A lost cause?’ I stood up quickly and stared down at her. ‘Excuse me! You’re the one stuck talking to crazy people all day long, hoping that something you say might cure them, when in actual fact nothing can really fix them. And when you’re not doing that, you’re sitting down watching TV and eating every kind of snack known to the human race. And you think I’m the lost cause? Typical.’ I rolled my eyes and began to walk around the room.
‘Jenny, calm down, I didn’t mean to say that you were a lost cause, it just … it … it came out wrong.’ She angled herself so she could follow me walking around the room with her gaze. ‘What I meant to say was that it’s probably unlikely you will ever be completely cured and the isolation method doesn’t appear to be helping at all. I mean, there is no sense keeping you isolated if it does nothing for your mental health.’
I laughed.
‘I’m not going to give up on you Jenny,’ Debbie continued, ‘I’ll continue treating you. I just think that in your case being around others might actually help to nurture you a little more as opposed to being in isolation. It’s unlikely you will be leaving any time soon. I think it’s best for you to live here as happily as possible and The White Ward is not a very happy place.’ She paused and glanced up at the clock on the far wall. ‘Once our session is over, I’ll have you taken back to your old room in the Henry Jennings Ward.’
I stopped in front of the window and stared out onto the grounds, smiling. ‘Whatever.’ I said casually before removing my grin, turning around quickly and resuming my seat.
Debbie stared at me, mouth open. ‘Okay … That was easy …’ She continued staring at me for a few seconds, then coughed lightly, shook her head and hastily removed her gaze, shifting her eyes towards her clipboard and clearing her throat. ‘So, moving on ... Today I thought we could talk about past relationships you’ve had.’
‘Past relationships? Why?’ I groaned, twisting myself around on the couch and resting my cuffed hands on top of me.
‘It’ll give me a good grasp of how you used to interact with people and how long it took for your illness to progress to the point where you were no longer able to sustain a healthy relationship.’ She said simply.
‘Wow, thanks for being so honest.’ I scoffed.
‘Well, one of us has to be. So, have you ever had a relationship with the opposite sex before?’ She asked, quite unexpectedly.
‘That’s a stupid question. It’s like me asking you if you’ve ever eaten a doughnut before.’ I laughed at my own joke.
‘I know it sounds a little silly,’ she said, trying to ignore my comment, ‘but a lot of people in your situation have never had a real relationship before.’
‘Yes, I’ve been in a relationship!’ I crossed my arms
‘Okay, good ... How many would you say?’
I spent a second pondering the question before giving my reply. ‘Oh, well, it’d have to be in the hundreds. Guys really do love me.’
‘Jenny, come on, what did I tell you about lying?’ She scolded.
‘I’m not lying.’ I faced her innocently.
‘I’m not going to humour you Jenny, it won’t help you.’ She said slowly but seriously.
‘You just said I was a lost cause, why does it matter?’
Debbie bit her tongue. ‘Okay, fine, you’ve had hundreds of relationships. Were any of them serious?’
‘One or two, most of the other guys were pretty stupid. You know, they really weren’t good enough for me, I don’t know what I was thinking. Those guys, they always thought they had a real chance.’ I laughed.
‘Okay, this is good. Tell me about the relationship that was the most serious.’ She leaned in.
‘Sorry, Heavy Debbie, that’s my business.’ I crossed my arms.
She glared at me. ‘Come on, woman to woman. How long were you together?’ Her sweet voice contradicted her expression.
‘I dunno, a year or … three, I didn’t count.’ I shrugged.
‘So it was pretty serious?’
‘Well, he seemed to think so. Personally I prefer my own company.’
‘Right ... Can you tell me what his name was?’ She had her pen to her clipboard ready to write down the details.
‘Yes, I can.’ Pause. I tilted my head and stared at her.
‘Well ...’ She pressed on, gesturing me to continue with her hand.
I stared up at the ceiling. ‘Cameron? No, that wasn’t it. Theodore? No ... Randolph? Definitely not. Kurt? Hmm ... no. Matt? I don’t think I can remember his name.’ I looked at her.
‘Right, well ... let’s just call him … Matt. So, where did you meet Matt?’
‘Umm ... at uni I think. No! Through a friend.’
‘A friend, really?’ She began scribbling.
‘Yes, I do have friends. I’m sorry to rub it in your face; I know you’re a loner.’ I stopped. ‘You know, now I think about it, I don’t think I met him through a friend.’
Debbie bit her lip again. ‘Well, let’s just forgot about how you met him for the time being.’ She stopp
ed for a breath. ‘ Now, I’m assuming you and Matt were quite close. Three years is a pretty significant amount of time.’
‘Hmm… I suppose you could say we were close-ish.’ I stared back up at the ceiling.
‘Why did you break up?’
‘I got bored.’ I replied simply.
‘Bored? Is that all?’ She stared at me, a disappointed expression on her face.
‘Yes. That’s all.’ I was short with her..
‘Do you want to add anything else?’ She leaned in.
‘No.’
‘Okay. What about the other relationship. You said you had a couple of serious ones.’
‘Oh, that wasn’t really a relationship. Just an extra close friendship, if you know what I mean.’ I nodded my eyebrows up and down.
‘Yes, I’m sure I understand what you mean. How long did that close friendship last?’ Debbie seemed slightly embarrassed.
‘It’s hard to say. It was a sort of ... on and off thing.’
‘I see. Is there anything about these relationships in particular that you would like to talk about? Perhaps you want to talk about what it was like for you to be in those relationships, or the feelings you had towards those people.’ She leaned in closer.
‘No, not really.’
‘Come on Jenny, help me out a little.’ She pleaded. I stared blankly at her. ‘Alright. I think maybe you’re just a little bit drained from having all of these intense sessions and being isolated, a good rest is what you need. We might call it a day, hey? What do you think?’ She put on a fake smile.
‘Whatever.’ I shrugged.
‘Okay.’ Debbie looked annoyed but strangely happy as well.
‘You can go and wait back on the chair outside and I’ll contact security and tell them to send someone down to un-cuff you and escort you back to your old room. We’ll continue this discussion next week.’
I stood up and she let me out of her office. She was staring off into space, completely unconscious of what she was doing.
After ten minutes of sitting on the black hard plastic chair, the elevator opened and my old guard, Mathers, entered the reception area.
I eyed his greying tawny hair. He walked over to me, licking his thick moustache and rubbing a hand over his faded tattoo of a phoenix covering his left forearm.
He smiled and a mass of wrinkles appeared across his forehead. ‘Jenny, it looks like you’re back in my company again. We all missed you.’
‘Well, of course you did. I know how much everyone counts on me being around.’
He laughed ‘Come on then. I’ll take you back to your room.’ I stood up and followed him back towards the lift, the doors opened immediately.
As the doors closed, Mathers started whistling the theme to Get Smart. I rolled my eyes.
The elevator doors opened within a few seconds and I set foot on the third floor. We walked out of the elevator and stopped in front of the metal framed, glass security door leading into the ward.
Mathers took his swipe card off his belt and flashed it in front of the lock. The red light changed to green and he opened it, allowing me to pass through first.
I glided along the speckled grey carpet, staring at the pale blue walls. I noticed a picture I hadn’t seen before, some kind of horse in a paddock. I scrunched my face up at it.
It only took half a minute before we arrived at my door. ‘I love being so close to the elevator; easy access in case of a fire.’
Mathers laughed. ‘Jenny, the elevators shut down in the event of a fire, remember? You go to fire training every year.’
‘Yeah, and every year the trainer has a little bit of something stuck in his teeth that takes up all of my concentration. I mean, hasn’t he heard of dental floss?’
Mathers sighed. ‘Come on Jenny. Shall I let you do the honours?’
I lifted up my wrist with my arm band permanently stuck to it and ran it past the lock. It was a little difficult with the cuffs still on. The light flicked to green and I opened the door.
‘I have a few belongings still in that other room they made me stay in; see that they’re brought back down here won’t you.’ I ordered.
‘Sure thing.’ Mathers grinned. ‘Here,’ he motioned towards my cuffed hands, pulled a key out of his pocket. I lifted them up and allowed him to remove them.
‘Freedom, finally!’ I said. ‘You can get lost now.’ I waved him weakly out of my room.
‘Sure. See you later Jenny.’ He left, shutting the door behind him.
#7 The Complaints Desk