CHAPTER TWENTY TWO.
MRS. TIPPS GOES ON A JOURNEY, AND MEETS A GENTLEMAN WHO, WITH MUCHASSURANCE, COMMENTS FREELY ON INSURANCE.
On a particular holiday, it was advertised that a great excursion trainwould start from the Clatterby station at a certain hour. At theappointed time the long line of carriages was pushed up to the platformby our friend John Marrot, who was appointed that day to drive thetrain.
"Bill," remarked John to his mate, "it'll be a biggish train. There'san uncommon lot o' people on the platform."
"They're pretty thick," replied Will Garvie, wiping his countenance witha piece of waste, which, while it removed the perspiration, left behinda good deal of oil, and streaked his nose with coal-dust. But Will wasnot particular!
The excursionists were indeed unusually numerous. It chanced to be afine day, and the platform was densely crowded with human beings, manyof whom moved, when movement was possible, in groups, showing that therewere various sections that had a common aim and interest, and meant tokeep together as much as possible. There were men there who hadevidently made up their minds to a thoroughly enjoyable day, and womenwhose aspect was careworn but cheerful, to whom a holiday was probably amemorable event in the year. Of young people there was of course aconsiderable sprinkling, and amongst the crowd could be seen a number ofindividuals whose amused expression of countenance and general aspectbespoke them ordinary travellers, who meant to avail themselves of a"cheap train." All classes and conditions of men, women, and childrenwere hustling each other in a state of great excitement; but thepreponderating class was that which is familiarly though not veryrespectfully styled "the masses."
Mrs Marrot was there too--much against her will--and little Gertie. Asister of the former, who lived about twenty miles from Clatterby, had,a short time before, made her husband a present of a fine fat pugilisticboy, and Mrs M felt constrained to pay her a visit.
John was on the look-out for his wife and child, so was Will Garvie.The former waved a piece of cotton-waste to her when she arrived; shecaught sight of him and gave him a cheerful nod in reply; and anunexpressed blessing on his weather-beaten face arose in her heart asGarvie pushed through the crowd and conducted her and Gertie to acarriage.
Timid little Mrs Tipps was also there. It is probable that no power onearth, save that of physical force, could have induced Mrs Tipps toenter an excursion train, for which above all other sorts of trains sheentertained a species of solemn horror. But the excitement consequenton the unexpected recovery of the diamond ring, and the still moreunexpected accession of wealth consequent thereon, had induced her tosmother her dislike to railways for a time, and avail herself of theirservices in order to run down to a town about twenty miles off for thepurpose of telling the good news to Netta, who chanced to be on a shortvisit to a friend there at the time. When Mrs Tipps reached thestation, her ignorance of railway matters, and the confused mental statewhich was her normal condition, prevented her from observing that thetrain was an excursion one. She therefore took out a first-class ticketand also an insurance ticket for 500 pounds, for which latter she paidsixpence! Her ignorance and perturbation also prevented her fromobserving that this rate of insurance was considerably higher than shewas accustomed to pay, owing to the fact of the train being an excursionone. If she had been going by an ordinary train, she could have insured1000 pounds, first-class, for 3 pence; half that sum, second-class, for2 pence; and 200 pounds, third-class, for the ridiculously small sum ofone penny!
Good Mrs Tipps held the opinion so firmly that accident was the usual,and all but inevitable, accompaniment of railway travelling, that sheinvariably insured her life when compelled to undertake a journey. Itwas of no avail that her son Joseph pointed out to her that accidentswere in reality few and far between, and that they bore an excessivelysmall proportion to the numbers of journeys undertaken annually; MrsTipps was not to be moved. In regard to that subject she had, to useone of her late husband's phrases, "nailed her colours to the mast," andcould not haul them down even though she would. She therefore, whenabout to undertake a journey, invariably took out an insurance ticket,as we have said,--and this, solely with a views to Netta's futurebenefit.
We would not have it supposed that we object, here, to the principle ofinsuring against accident. On the contrary, we consider that principleto be a wise one, and, in some cases, one that becomes almost a duty.
When Mrs Tipps discovered that Mrs Marrot and Gertie were going by thesame train, she was so much delighted at the unlooked-for companionshipthat she at once entered the third-class, where they sat, and began tomake herself comfortable beside them, but presently recollecting thatshe had a first-class ticket she started up and insisted on Mrs Marrotand Gertie going first-class along with her, saying that she would paythe difference. Mrs Marrot remonstrated, but Mrs Tipps, strong in hernatural liberality of spirit which had been rather wildly set free byher recent good fortune, would not be denied.
"You must come with me, Mrs Marrot," she said. "I'm so frightened inrailways, you have no idea what a relief it is to me to have any onenear me whom I know. I will change your tickets; let me have them,quick; we have no time to lose--there--now, wait till I return. Oh! Iforgot your insurance tickets."
"W'y, bless you, ma'am, we never insures."
"You never insure!" exclaimed Mrs Tipps in amazement; "and it onlycosts you threepence for one thousand pounds."
"Well, I don't know nothink as to that--" said Mrs Marrot.
Before she could finish the sentence Mrs Tipps was gone.
She returned in breathless haste, beckoned Mrs Marrot and Gertie tofollow her, and was finally hurried with them into a first-classcarriage just as the train began to move.
Their only other companion in the carriage was a stout little oldgentleman with a bright complexion, speaking eyes, and a countenance inwhich benevolence appeared to struggle with enthusiasm for the mastery.He was obviously one of those men who delight in conversation, and hequickly took an opportunity of engaging in it. Observing that MrsTipps presented an insurance ticket to each of her companions, he said--
"I am glad to see, madam, that you are so prudent as to insure the livesof your friends."
"I always insure my own life," replied Mrs Tipps with a little smile,"and feel it incumbent on me at least to advise my friends to do thesame."
"Quite right, quite right, madam," replied the enthusiastic little man,applying his handkerchief to his bald pate with such energy that itshone like a billiard ball, "quite right, madam. I only wish that thepublic at large were equally alive to the great value of insuranceagainst accident. W'y, ma'am, it's a duty, a positive duty," (here headdressed himself to Mrs Marrot) "to insure one's life againstaccident."
"Oh la! sir, is it?" said Mrs Marrot, quite earnestly.
"Yes, it is. Why, look here--this is your child?"
He laid his hand gently on Gertie's head.
"Yes, sir, she is."
"Well, my good woman, suppose that you are a widow and are killed,"(Mrs Marrot looked as if she would rather not suppose anything of thesort), "what I ask, what becomes of your child?--Left a beggar; anabsolute beggar!"
He looked quite triumphantly at Mrs Tipps and her companions, andwaited a few seconds as if to allow the idea to exert its full force onthem.
"But, sir," observed Mrs Marrot meekly, "supposin' that there do be anaccident," (she shivered a little), "that ticket won't prevent me bein'killed, you know?"
"No, ma'am, no; but it will prevent your sweet daughter from being lefta beggar--that is, on the supposition that you are a widow."
"W'ich I ain't sir, I'm happy to say," remarked Mrs Marrot; "but, sir,supposin' we was both of us killed--"
She paused abruptly as if she had committed a sin in merely givingutterance to the idea.
"Why, then, your other children would get the 500 pounds--or your heirs,whoever they may be. It's a splendid system that, of insurance againstaccident. Just look at _me_, now." He sprea
d out his hands anddisplayed himself, looking from one to the other as if he were holdingup to admiration something rare and beautiful. "Just look at _me_. I'moff on a tour of three months through England, Scotland, and Ireland--not for my health, madam, as you may see--but for scientific purposes.Well, what do I do? I go to the Railway Passengers Assurance Company'sOffice, 64 Cornhill, London, (I like to be particular, you see, asbecomes one who professes to be an amateur student of the exactsciences), and I take out what they call a Short Term Policy ofInsurance against accidents of all kinds for a thousand pounds--1000pounds, observe--for which I pay the paltry sum of 30 shillings--1pound, 10 shillings. Well, what then? Away I go, leaving behind me,with perfect indifference, a wife and two little boys. Remarkablelittle boys, madam, I assure you. Perfect marvels of health andintelligence, both of 'em--two little boys, madam, which have not beenequalled since Cain and Abel were born. Every one says so, with theexception of a few of the cynical and jaundiced among men and women.And, pray, why am I so indifferent? Just because they are provided for.They have a moderately good income secured to them as it is, and the1000 pounds which I have insured on my life will render it a competencein the event of my being killed. It will add 50 pounds a year to theirincome, which happens to be the turning-point of comfort. And what ofmyself? Why, with a perfectly easy conscience, I may go and do what Iplease. If I get drowned in Loch Katrine--what matter? If I break myneck in the Gap of Dunloe--what matter? If I get lost and frozen on thesteeps of Ben Nevis or Goatfell--what matter? If I am crushed to deathin a railway accident, or get entangled in machinery and am torn toatoms--still I say, what matter? 1000 pounds must _at_ _once_ be paiddown to my widow and children, and all because of the pitiful sum of 30shillings.
"But suppose," continued the enthusiastic man, deepening his tone as hebecame more earnest, "suppose that I am _not_ killed, but only severelyinjured and mangled so as to be utterly unfit to attend to my worldlyaffairs--what then?"
Mrs Tipps shuddered to think of "what then."
"Why," continued the enthusiastic gentleman, "I shall in that case beallowed from the company 6 pounds a week, until recovered, or, in theevent of my sinking under my injuries within three months after theaccident, the whole sum of 1000 pounds will be paid to my family."
Mrs Tipps smiled and nodded her head approvingly, but Mrs Marrot stilllooked dubious.
"But, sir," she said, "supposin' you don't get either hurt or killed?"
"Why then," replied the elderly gentleman, "I'm all right of course, andonly 50 shillings out of pocket, which, you must admit, is but atrifling addition to the expenses of a three months' tour. Besides,have I not had three months of an easy mind, and of utter regardlessnessas to my life and limbs? Have not my wife and boys had three months ofeasy minds and indifference to my life and limbs also! Is not all thatcheaply purchased at 30 shillings? while the sum itself, I have thesatisfaction of knowing, goes to increase the funds of that excellentcompany which enables you and me and thousands of others to become soeasy-minded and reckless, and which, at the same time, pays itsfortunate shareholders a handsome dividend."
"Really, sir," said Mrs Tipps, laughing, "you talk so enthusiasticallyof this Insurance Company that I almost suspect you to be a director ofit."
"Madam," replied the elderly gentleman with some severity, "if I _were_a director of it, which I grieve to say I am not, I should only be doingmy simple duty to it and to you in thus urging it on your attention.But I am altogether uninterested in it, except as a philanthropist. Isee and feel that it does good to myself and to my fellow-men,_therefore_ I wish my fellow-men to appreciate it more highly than theydo, for it not only insures against accident by railway, but against allkinds of accidents; while its arrangements are made to suit theconvenience of the public in every possible way."
"Why, madam," he continued, kindling up again and polishing his headviolently, "only think, for the small sum of 4 pounds paid annually, itinsures that you shall have paid to your family, if you chance to bekilled, the sum of 1000 pounds, or, if not killed, 6 pounds a week whileyou are totally laid up, and 1 pound, 10 shillings a week while you areonly partially disabled. And yet, would you believe it, many personswho see the value of this, and begin the wise course of insurance, go onfor only a few years and then foolishly give it up--disappointed, Ipresume, that no accident has happened to them! See, here is one oftheir pamphlets!"
He pulled a paper out of his pocket energetically, and put on a pair ofgold spectacles, _through_ which he looked when consulting the pamphlet,and _over_ which he glanced when observing the effect of what he read onMrs Tipps.
"What do I find--eh? ha--yes--here it is--a Cornish auctioneer pushedback a window shutter--these are the very words, madam--what more he didto that shutter, or what it did to him, is not told, but he must havecome by _some_ damage, because he received 55 pounds. A London clerkgot his eye injured by a hair-pin in his daughter's hair--how suggestivethat is, madam! what a picture it calls up of a wearied toil-worn manfondling his child of an evening--pressing his cheek to her fair head--and what a commentary it is (he became very stern here) on the use ofsuch barbarous implements as hair-pins! I am not punning, madam; I ammuch too serious to pun; I should have used the word savage instead ofbarbarous.
"Now, what was the result? This company gave that clerk compensation tothe extent of 26 pounds. Again, a medical practitioner fell through thefloor of a room. It must have been a bad, as it certainly was astrange, fall--probably he was heavy and the floor decayed--at allevents that fall procured him 120 pounds. A Cardiff agent was bathinghis feet--why, we are not told, but imagination is not slow tocomprehend the reason, when the severity of our climate is taken intoaccount; he broke the foot-pan--a much less comprehensible thing--andthe breaking of that foot-pan did him damage, for which he wascompensated with 52 pounds, 16 shillings. Again, a merchant ofBirkenhead was paid 20 pounds for playing with his children!"
"Dear me, sir!" exclaimed Mrs Marrot in surprise, "surely--"
"Of course, my good woman," said the elderly gentleman, "you are tounderstand that he came by some damage while doing so, but I give youthe exact words of the pamphlet. It were desirable that a _little_ moreinformation had been given just to gratify our curiosity. Now, thesethat I have read are under the head of `Accidents at Home.' Under other`Heads,' we find a farmer suffocated by the falling in of a sand-pit,for which his representatives received 1000 pounds. Another thousand ispaid to the heirs of a poor dyer who fell into a vat of boiling liquor;while, in regard to smaller matters, a warehouseman, whose finger caughtin the cog-wheel of a crane, received 30 pounds. And, again, here is1000 pounds to a gentleman killed in a railway accident, and 100 poundsto a poor woman. The latter had insured for a single trip in anexcursion train at a charge of two-pence, while the former had a policyof insurance extending over a considerable period, for which he probablypaid twenty or thirty shillings. These are but samples, madam, of thegood service rendered to sorrowing humanity by this assurance company,which, you must observe, makes no pretensions to philanthropic aims, butis based simply on business principles. And I find that the totalamount of compensation paid in this manner daring one year by thisCompany amounts to about 72,000 pounds."
As Mrs Marrot yawned at this point and Mrs Tipps appeared somewhatmystified, the enthusiastic gentleman smiled, put away his pamphlet, andwisely changed the subject. He commented on the extreme beauty of theweather, and how fortunate this state of things was for the people whowent to the country for a day's enjoyment. Thus pleasantly he whiledaway the time, and ingratiated himself with Gertie, until they arrivedat the station where Mrs Tipps and Mrs Marrot had to get out, andwhere many of the excursionists got out along with them. While theformer went their several ways, arranging to meet in the evening andreturn together by the same train, the latter scattered themselves overthe neighbouring common and green fields, and, sitting down under thehedgerows among the wild-flowers, pic-nicked in the sunshine, orwandered about the
lanes, enjoying the song of birds and scent offlowers, and wishing, perchance, that their lot had been cast among thegreen pastures of the country, rather than amid the din and smoke andturmoil of the town.