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“Ethan. ” She sighed, and the pain in her voice made me wish I had never opened my mouth. When she opened her eyes, I caught the sparkle of tears on her lashes and felt like a complete ass. “I’m sorry,” Meghan whispered and took a deep breath, composing herself. “I’m sorry,” she said again in a stronger voice. “No, I’m not ashamed of you, Ethan. I love you, and Mom, and Luke, more than anything. You’ll always be my family, even if I can’t be here. ”
“Then. . . why the big secret?” I had to swallow the lump in my throat to continue. I remembered, suddenly, Puck’s look of concern when he’d seen Keirran and me together; Keirran’s own words about secrets being kept from him by everyone. “It’s not just you,” I said, watching her reaction carefully. “There’s something about Keirran that has everyone nervous. What’s going on?”
“I. . . can’t tell you. ”
Stung, I stared at her. Meghan paused, seeming to gather her thoughts, her face suddenly pinched and agonized. “I know I’ve failed you, Ethan,” she said in a shaky voice. “I wanted to protect you from Faery, from everything. I wanted. . . ” She swallowed hard, and her eyes glimmered. “I wanted you to know Keirran. I wanted Mom to meet her grandson, and it killed me that she might never know him. ”
Meghan sniffed, then composed herself once more. “You don’t understand now,” she said, “but there are reasons why I chose what I did, why I decided it was best that you and Keirran stay away from each other. ” She sighed again, but her voice was steady when she continued, “I am sorry, Ethan. I know how hard it’s been. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you and Mom, but I thought this was the best choice. ”
I wanted to be angry with her. For years I had blamed her for abandoning us, for putting her life as a fey queen before her own family. But. . . maybe she couldn’t come back. Maybe it was just as hard for her to stay away. I didn’t understand why she was still keeping me in the dark about Keirran, but there was something else going on here.
“Well, I guess Keirran and I sort of screwed that plan up, didn’t we?” I said, wanting to ease some of the tension in the room. My attempt at a joke did not have the effect I wanted.
Meghan’s brow furrowed. “From the moment you walked into the palace, I knew what was going to happen,” she murmured, almost to herself. “I even sent someone to track Keirran down once you arrived, but he pulled one of his vanishing acts before we could find him. Then when I heard he’d helped you and Kenzie sneak out of the palace. . . ” She shook her head. “He has no idea what this means, what it has started. Neither of you realize what could happen now. Ethan. . . ” Her blue eyes met mine, angry and pleading all at once. “Where is he?” she asked. “Please, if you know where he is, tell him to come home. ”
I gave a start. “Who? Keirran? Why would I know where. . . ” I stopped as the very obvious answer hit me in the face. “He’s gone, isn’t he?” I guessed. “That’s why you’re here. Keirran’s run off again. ”
“He disappeared not long after you went home,” Meghan replied, her face lined with worry. “No one has seen any sign of him since. ” She looked around the room, as if hoping to catch him hiding in the closet or something. “I was hoping. . . he might’ve come here. ”
I shook my head. “I haven’t seen him. ” She stared at me, suspicious, and I raised my hands. “I swear, Meghan. I haven’t seen him, or Annwyl, or anyone since New York. If Keirran is gone, he hasn’t come to me. ”
In that instant, I wondered if I did know exactly where Keirran was and if I should voice that concern to Meghan. The Iron Prince, as he was called, was in love with a faery of the Summer Court, a love that was forbidden according to ancient faery law. Annwyl was a banished Summer fey who lived with the self-proclaimed Exile Queen, Leanansidhe, in the Between, the Veil between Faery and the real world.
When Annwyl had been kidnapped by the Forgotten, they’d used her to draw Keirran out, forcing him to appear before their queen. But when Kenzie and I had gone to rescue him, as well as Todd, Annwyl and a whole troop of half-breeds robbed of their glamour, Keirran had been shockingly sympathetic to the Forgotten and their cause. I didn’t know exactly what had been said between the Iron Prince and the Forgotten Queen, but when we’d left, Keirran had made a promise to return to her, of his own free will, sometime in the future.
Could he be with the Forgotten Queen right now?
Meghan was still watching me, her gaze appraising, almost as if she could see my thoughts. “If he hasn’t come to you,” she asked slowly, deliberately, “do you know where he might be?”
I looked away. I didn’t want to rat Keirran out. We might’ve had our disagreements in the past, but he was still family. And after everything that had happened, I did consider him a friend. But Meghan was my sister, and this whole thing with Keirran and the Forgotten couldn’t be kept a secret for long. Too much was at stake.
“Yeah,” I rasped, still not looking at her. “I have an idea. When we were with the Forgotten, Keirran told their queen he’d come back to see her. He might be with the Forgotten right now. ”
I saw the change, the subtle shift from my familiar older sister to the immensely powerful Iron Queen, right there on my bed. She didn’t move, but her energy filled the room, making the air crackle and the lights flicker.
I swallowed. “Hey, sis? I sort of need my computer not to explode, if that’s okay. ”
Meghan blinked, and the power surging around her died down. “Of course,” she murmured and rose off the bed. “Thank you for telling me about the Forgotten, Ethan,” she said, back to being normal Meghan. “I know you and Keirran went through a lot, and you don’t want to get him in trouble, but you did the right thing. I needed to know what he’s capable of. ”
I felt pretty wretched. Meghan looked smaller now, less a faery queen and more a concerned parent, weighed down by worry, guilt and something much darker. “I have to get back to Mag Tuiredh,” she said, walking to the door. “Ethan, if you do see Keirran, will you please tell him to come home? Let him know he isn’t in trouble—we just want to talk to him. Whatever it is, whatever he’s doing, we can work it out. He isn’t alone in this. Will you promise me that much, at least?”
“If I see him,” I said, “I’ll let him know. ”
“And. . . don’t tell Mom or Luke. Not yet. ” She ran a hand over her eyes. “They have to find out about him, but. . . I want to be the one to explain. ”
“I won’t tell them. ”
She gave me a sad smile, and I followed her to the front door, where Mom was waiting for us both. Her face was red, her eyes swollen, though she still smiled and hugged Meghan tightly, reminding her that she was always welcome here, that this was always home. Even though we all knew it was not.
Outside, a horse and carriage waited, both invisible to mortal eyes. The horse was a bright copper beast of ticking clockwork, the driver a green-skinned faery in a top hat. He tipped the hat to us and smiled as Meghan pulled away from Mom and embraced me, pulling me close. “Take care of Mom,” she whispered, as she always had back when she still visited us. I hugged her back and nodded.
“I will. ”
And then, as she had so many times before, she left. Glamour shimmered around the Iron Queen as she faded from human vision—though my Sight still allowed me to see her clearly—and walked to the invisible carriage waiting for her on the sidewalk. The driver leaped down, opened the door for the queen to enter and sprang back onto the seat. At the flick of a shiny wire whip, the carriage rolled off down the sidewalk and was quickly lost to the darkness.
I braced myself for the questions as we returned inside; Mom would certainly want to know what Meghan and I had discussed behind closed doors. But all she said was “I don’t feel like cooking tonight, Ethan. Would you be all right with ordering pizza?”
“Sure,” I said, wondering what Meghan had told her before I came in. She gave me a shaky smile and wandered upstairs, probabl
y to her bedroom. Probably to lock herself in and cry for a little while before returning to act like everything was normal. Like her daughter wasn’t an immortal faery queen who hadn’t aged in thirteen years and her son wasn’t a juvenile thug who attracted trouble at every turn.
I figured it was actually a good thing she didn’t yet know that she also had a defiant part-fey grandson who could be anywhere at the moment.
I returned to my room, placed the pizza order online and gazed at the spot where my sister had been moments ago.
So, Keirran was out there now. The Iron Prince had run off again, and no one knew where he was. Not that I was surprised; even in the short time I’d known him, Keirran had never been one to follow the rules. Not that he was spiteful or malicious; my nephew didn’t have a mean bone in his body and was unfailingly polite, amiable and soft-spoken. But he was also stubborn, rebellious and in love with a girl from the wrong court. He’d already demonstrated the lengths he would go to keep Annwyl safe; I wondered if she was the reason he had gone AWOL.
What are you doing, Keirran? I thought, trying to shake the ominous feeling creeping over me.
My phone chirped, indicating I had a text message. Curious, I grabbed it and clicked on the screen.
Brrwed nurse’s phone, she thought u were cute (me 2). Dont reply just wanted 2 say thanks for coming in 2nite & they decided 2 release me tomorrow, yay! So don’t come in cause I won’t b here. Miss ya, tough guy. -Kenzie.
A second later, it was followed with:
P. S. Why do all hospitals think green Jell-O is food? *Gag*Dies*
I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my face as I clicked the phone off and set it back on the desk. I couldn’t worry about Keirran now. I had something else, someone else, to focus on. Kenzie deserved more than I could give her, but I wanted to try to do this boyfriend thing right, despite her father’s warning to stay away from his daughter. Obviously, I wasn’t going to listen to that, though he was more right than he knew when he said I was no good for her. To say I sucked in the relationship department was a huge understatement; I just hoped Kenzie could be patient with me as I figured it out. And that her dad wouldn’t make things too unbearable.