Chapter 11
If Xavier moved there, he would have to attend another school and Selena wouldn’t see him every day. The enormous lump lodged in her throat throbbed violently as if ready to explode. He wouldn’t be impossibly away but he’d be away nonetheless.
his searching eyes
his keen intelligence,
his light musky aroma,
his gently inviting lips,
all would be away.
AWAY.
How could she do without the closeness of his intense presence? How often would they see each other? But on the other hand, Xavier hated living with his Uncle Blake. He'd be so much happier here, Selena thought with sharp desperation. I have to let him go.
"I can't come live with you," stated Xavier.
Selena’s eyebrows rose.
"Sure you can, Xavier. Lucretia and I would love to have you here."
"I'd love to be here, but I don't want to change schools among other things," he said as his dark eyes fell on Selena and he smiled his sparkler at her.
Lucretia grinned. "I understand."
"What do you understand?" asked Paul, puzzled.
"He doesn't want to leave his sweetie," explained Lucretia.
Paul's eyes became wide with a realization. "Oh, I get it."
"Xavier," Selena said quietly, "I think you should move here."
"Are you trying to get rid of me?" asked Xavier, his eyebrows furrowed.
"Don't be silly. It's just that you're not happy at your Uncle Blake's house."
"I do okay there."
"You hate it there. Really hate it," Selena stated.
"Yes, but I love being near you," he expressed.
"But—"
"I'm not moving," declared Xavier, his heavy eyes on Selena.
"I can't let you sacrifice yourself like that."
"I'm not moving, and that's the end of that," Xavier insisted, his voice firm.
“But—“
"Selena," said Lucretia, "You might as well stop trying to get a stubborn Montgomery/Jones man to change directions."
Selena let out a deep breath. "I guess so.” She hated being so selfish but couldn’t help the relief flooding through her like replenishing water on dry, cracked earth.
"Who's stubborn?" asked Paul.
"Yeah, who are you calling stubborn?" echoed Xavier.
Lucretia and Selena howled with laughter.
The next day, Xavier and Selena sat down with Mr. and Mrs. Spinoza at the table for Sunday dinner and enjoyed bean and avocado tostadas. Mr. Spinoza was now used to Xavier being a fixture at the house. Even when Xavier knew little about handiwork, he helped Mr. Spinoza fix what was needed. Mr. Spinoza had to appreciate his enthusiasm for learning.
"I think I'm going to build another stool for the barn next weekend. There's only one. That way you and Selena both can sit while milking Eleanor, Xavier. Are you game?"
"I'm game," asserted Xavier with enthusiasm.
Xavier took a huge bite out of the fried corn tortilla. Selena smiled at how far he had come. There was a time when all the fixin's on top of it would be falling all over. Now Xavier kept the lettuce, tomatoes, pinto beans and avocado in place. And could he eat Mrs. Spinoza's hot salsa! He'd smother enormous amounts of it on everything. Even Selena, who loved her mother's salsa, didn't pour so much of it on her food.
After dinner, Selena and Xavier went to the backyard with forks and a bag of marshmallows. The animals gathered around them as they built a bonfire and toasted their sweets. With the evening being slightly cool, Selena and Xavier sat near to the flames and to each other, their close proximity to one another encasing them in a warm cocoon of romantic connection. After finishing the marshmallows and putting out the fire, they sat on a serape-like blanket and gazed at the enormous glittering sky. Antonio didn't bark as he sat next to Xavier and Zac stayed next to Selena.
"The universe is so huge," Xavier stated.
"And so beautiful."
Gently nearing her Xavier’s lips touched hers, his soft and yet tough gentility taking her in. Zac was on his best behavior, letting them enjoy their moment under the stars. After disengaging reluctantly, there was only so much kissing they could get away with being so close to Selena’s house and her father’s watchful eyes, Selena and Xavier lay on the blankets, gazing towards the heavens. Spoken words were too tiny and clumsy when the never-ending sky sparkled with so much activity and spectacular spirit.
The enormous peacefulness soon affected Selena and Xavier who, without realizing what was happening, fell into a deep sleep. Selena’s animals patiently looked on, allowing their rest, happy to spend time with them.
Entering her dreams, Selena noticed that this time the fog was nearly gone but the scenery in front of her wasn't clearer since it was like a malfunctioning television with white lines across the screen and a light zapping sound. The puzzle was no where in sight but next to her stood a flabbergasted Xavier.
“Where are we, Selena?” he asked.
“Don’t worry, Xavier. I’ve been here before.”
“You have?”
“Yes, and I want you to meet my friend.”
“Your friend?”
“Yes, my friend Clara.”
Xavier gave a loud gasp. “Did you say Clara?”
“Yes.”
"Clara?!"
Selena abruptly woke up, sitting up and fiercely rubbing her eyes. For a few seconds, she was disoriented until she realized she wasn’t in her bed but outside with Xavier. Another strange dream, she told herself as Xavier also bolted up from where he was laying.
“You wouldn’t believe the dream I just had,” she asserted.
“Me too,” he said disconcertedly.
“You were also dreaming?” she asked, surprised.
“You were in my dream, Selena.”
“So were you,” she stated, more surprised by the minute. They stared at each other with reluctance to go on until Xavier finally broke the silence.
“Could it be we were having the same dream?” he asked, his questioning eyes heavily anchored on Selena.
“Were you dreaming about being in the middle of nowhere with me and with traces of fog around us?” she asked, almost hoping he wouldn’t answer.
“Yes,” he said simply. It was all he could say for the moment as he grew pensive and deeply into himself.
“Xavier, how—“
“Clara—did you say you were going to introduce me to someone named Clara?” he demanded, his eyes showing a spark that threatened to ignite.
“Yes,” Selena said. “Clara is a woman who has been in some of my dreams. Why do you ask?”
“What does she look like?” he asked, a strange sound to his voice.
“She’s got clear green eyes, light brown hair, and a calm voice.”
“I think I know who she is,” he said, solemn and sounding far away.
“Who?”
“My mother,” he murmured, so quietly that she almost didn’t hear him.