“Why do you stand there, Bracken, and not speak?”
He did not immediately reply. Megan turned to confront him, her eyes begging him to answer.
“I am enjoying the smell of your hair.”
His answer worked on her just as his words had at the abbey.
“Oh, Bracken,” she said softly. “What am I going to do?”
Her question was not lost on him. “You’re going to marry me,” he spoke gently. “And the two of us are going to do our best to make a life together.”
Megan sighed. “Are you certain about Marigold?”
Bracken’s eyes suddenly became very amused. “Yes. My brothers and knights were quite smitten, but she is not the woman for me.”
“And you think I am?”
“I do not think; I know.”
His words warmed Megan considerably, and Bracken studied her complexion, which always reminded him of the bloom on a peach. Megan saw the answering warmth in his own gaze, but she was unprepared for the way his head lowered. She drew in a sharp breath and stood still in anticipation.
A servant chose that moment to knock on the door. Bracken froze, his lips just a scant inch from Megan’s, and stared into her eyes. Megan stared back, unable to identify the emotions surging through her.
“We must set a date, my dove,” he said softly when the knock sounded again. He preferred kissing her to discussing the wedding, but she seemed pliant all of a sudden.
“All right.”
“September,” Bracken said softly, pushing for all he was worth. Megan nodded, not certain at the moment what year it was, let alone the month.
Whoever was at the door had given up, but Bracken, even though he still wanted to kiss her, now stood to full height, much pleased at how easy it had been. Megan continued to watch him, and Bracken knew it would only be a matter of minutes before the charm dissipated and Megan understood what she had just agreed to.
Indeed it was only seconds. Bracken was at the door when Megan found her voice.
“Did you say September?”
Bracken looked back from the door. “Indeed, I did.”
“But this is mid-July.”
Bracken’s mouth turned up in a very satisfied way.
“Yes, Megan, I know.”
When the door had closed in his wake, Megan let her back fall against the window casing. Only one thought came to mind, and she voiced it to the empty room.
“What in the world have I done?”
Nineteen
TWO DAYS LATER BRACKEN and Megan stood together as Stephen and Brice rode out of Hawkings Crest. Megan was already so lonely for them that she wanted to weep.
“Will you miss them?” Bracken asked her.
“Yes. I miss them now.”
“Before you know it the wedding will be upon us, and they will return, bringing with them my whole family.”
Megan turned to look at him and saw that he was very pleased with the prospect of seeing his family. His smile increased her wonder over what they must be like, but she didn’t question Bracken concerning them. With plans to go back to the castle, Megan was on the verge of excusing herself, but Bracken suddenly said, “What would you do differently in the falconry?”
Megan was surprised, but recovered swiftly and answered in a humble voice, “My father has had several birds for more than 15 years. Your falconer told me that his oldest bird is four years old. I think the main problem is that he is taking too many birds from the wilds. He needs to raise the birds from eggs and keep his pens cleaner and more comfortable.”
Bracken believed his birds were important but thought the job sounded huge. And as with his steward, his falconer had been with Hawkings Crest since Bracken was a child. Bracken’s hand went to the back of his neck. Did she think that he or any of his servants could do anything well?
“I have upset you,” Megan said when he did not reply or look at her.
“No, Megan, but I do wonder if you think I am of any use at all.”
Megan didn’t know what to say. She had come to love Hawkings Crest and felt he’d done an excellent job of its upkeep.
“Forgive me, Bracken.” Megan’s voice was now a bit pained. “I have given you the wrong impression. It is true that I feel some things should change, but they are not many at all. Indeed, there is much more that I admire. I have never seen finer horses, and your training fields are beyond compare.”
She paused as a look of complete surprise crossed his face, but then kept on.
“But as with most keeps, the lord is more interested in one area than another. The same goes for the mistress of the castle. I want to see things improve in the account books, the byre, and the creamery because these areas affect my management of the castle and castle folk.”
“And what of the falconry?”
Megan’s cheeks heated slightly, but she did not drop her eyes. “It has long been an interest to me, and over the years my father has taught me much. I do not wish to interfere, but I can see there are things you can do to improve your falconry. You won’t see an immediate benefit, but in time your birds could be very strong.”
Bracken nodded. “Tell me what you have in mind.”
In just seconds she had laid out a plan of such logic that Bracken was mentally kicking himself for not listening to her earlier.
“So you feel the birds need more air?”
“They need more of everything. Air, sunlight, and whatever else it takes to mimic their natural environment. They are only to be kept in the mews when they are molting. Not only will they be healthier, they will hunt better.”
Bracken nodded. “And what plans had you for the byre?”
Megan did not need to be asked twice. The castle was forgotten as the lord and his lady walked in the direction of the cow barn. Megan was not pushy or demanding in her suggestions, and Bracken was once again amazed at her intelligence and instinctive ideas.
It was a godsend that Bracken was able to see Megan at her most competent. It only caused him to love her more. But a new side was soon to reveal itself, one that would cause Bracken’s heart to completely melt where Megan was concerned.
“Your mother has sent a messenger, Megan,” Louisa told the younger woman the following week.
Megan was not surprised. She knew that Bracken had sent word to Vincent concerning the September 20 wedding date, just ten weeks away. She also knew that her mother would want to come and start working on her wedding dress.
“What did she say?” Megan asked before she remembered that Louisa could not read. The older woman only smiled and handed her the piece of parchment.
Megan saw instantly that she had been only half right. Annora did want to work on Megan’s clothes, but not at Hawkings Crest. The letter said in no uncertain terms that Megan should return to Stone Lake immediately. Megan knew there was no real hurry, but Annora liked to have things done very quickly, and where Megan was concerned she was never long on patience.
“Is she coming?”
“No. She wants me at Stone Lake.”
“Oh.” Louisa thought this sounded fine. She did not notice Megan’s lack of enthusiasm. “Shall I go with you?”
“Oh, Aunt Louisa, that would be wonderful,” Megan responded, loving the idea. “But I have to go right away.” Megan nearly apologized.
“I shouldn’t think that would be any problem. Let’s find Bracken right now and ask him to arrange a guard.” This proved to be easier said than done. No one in the castle knew of his lordship’s whereabouts, and not until they tracked down Arik did they learn he was on the practice field.
They found him dripping with sweat. Kendrick had just trounced him soundly on the jousting field, and he was not happy with his own performance. He was a knight, he reminded himself, not some smooth-faced boy, and yet he had fought like young Clive on his first assignment. Thus, he was in a foul mood and not at all happy to see the women. Unfortunately, he didn’t bother to mention that his black disposition had nothing to do with them.
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“Why have you come?” he asked bluntly.
Megan was instantly put off by his tone, but Louisa, looking forward to going to Megan’s home, barged right in and explained.
“She wants you at Stone Lake Castle?” Bracken questioned just minutes later.
“Yes,” Louisa meekly answered for Megan, now seeing that they had chosen an inappropriate time.
“Why?”
Megan’s chin rose. “It’s not my idea, Bracken, so you need not scowl at me so. It would suit me fine to stay right here, but I have no real reason to refuse my mother. If you do not wish me to leave, then you may contact Annora and explain why I don’t need a wedding dress.”
As often happened, her anger amused him. She was so little and feisty, and unless he was angry himself, when her eyes flashed green fire he found her adorable. Megan would have groaned had he shared his thoughts. She did make such a diligent effort when it came to the sin of anger, but right now all she saw was the sparkle in Bracken’s eyes, and being laughed at was unbearable to her.
“I am so pleased that I can serve as jester for your keep, my lord, and now that you’ve had your fun, I will take my leave.”
She turned on her heel, but Bracken’s arm shot out, and he caught the back of her skirt in one large fist. Megan stiffened with rage and insult but would not turn to look at him.
“Release me!” she commanded, her arms now stiff at her side, her hands balled into fists.
Bracken ignored her and spoke to Louisa.
“When did you wish to leave?”
“As soon as possible.”
Bracken nodded before transferring his gaze to Megan. Louisa saw him smile at the back of her. She also watched as he pulled gently on the fabric in his hand until Megan was forced to back up or fall. Not until she was nearly touching him did she suddenly spin and whip the fabric from his grasp. Louisa took her exit on that move.
Megan now stood, her magnificent bosom heaving, and glared at her betrothed. She was ready to give him the sharp side of her tongue, but he disarmed her with one gently put sentence.
“I do not wish you to run from me when you are angry.”
Megan stared at him.
“It does no good,” he went on. “It only puts walls between us that must be painfully torn down at another time.”
Megan’s shoulders slumped in defeat. It’s so true, she thought, and once again I have sinned with anger.
“I’m sorry, Bracken.”
“As am I.” His voice was sincere. “I was not making sport of you.” “But you did laugh,” Megan said, trying to understand.
“Not because I see you as a buffoon, but out of delight.”
This made no sense to Megan at all, but Bracken was so new at expressing himself he didn’t know how to carry on. Instead he said, “I’ll order a guard right now. We’ll be ready to leave in less than an hour.”
“We?”
“Yes. I’ll be going with you.”
Megan frowned. “Because you do not trust me to return?”
“No,” Bracken answered honestly. Such a thing had never occurred to him. “I would know that you have arrived safely at your father’s castle and will return in good health as well. I can’t see to this if I’m not with you. That is all.”
Megan could only nod. She thanked him quietly and turned away from the field.
How long, Lord, she prayed silently How long will I forget myself and sin against Your name? I confess my anger and ask Your strength to resist this sin.
Megan finished her prayer by asking for forbearance when seeing her mother. It seemed she could never please Annora, but as she could think of little else but seeing her, Megan was feeling very faithless by the time they left for Stone Lake.
The ride was long, and because they hadn’t left Hawkings Crest until after the noon meal, they even spent a night camped in the forest. But to Megan’s mind, she was standing before her mother before she felt prepared.
Her mother surveyed her with censorious eyes, and for the first time Megan found something over which to be thankful. Her mother was never a hypocrite. It wasn’t easy that she never spared Megan’s feelings in front of others or put up a false front, but she was honest. She believed that everyone was able to see the deficiencies in her youngest child.
“Go and bathe. I have fabric here, but you can’t possibly get near anything when you reek of horses.”
Megan began to move away
“Don’t slouch!” Annora barked at her. Megan, whose shoulders were already straight as a line, put them back unnaturally. She kept on toward the stairs and did not look back, even when she heard her mother say, “Well, at least you seemed to have dropped some weight. I’m sure Lord Bracken does not want a fat bride.”
“Annora!” Vincent reprimanded her in a whisper of great heat.
“Do not defend her, Vincent,” Annora came right back at him, not bothering to lower her own voice. “You know I’m right. Now, please introduce me to Lady Louisa.”
The introductions were made, but poor Louisa heard little of them. At one point during the confrontation with Megan and her mother, Louisa had had to put a restraining hand on Bracken’s arm, and she was still so shaken by what she had seen and heard that she didn’t know if she’d replied well to Lady Annora or not.
A gracious hostess when she chose to be, Annora commented kindly, “You must be weary. Would you like to see your chambers?”
“Yes, please.” Louisa’s voice was wooden, but Annora did not seem to notice.
“And you, Bracken, would you like to go up also?”
Bracken answered with little more than a nod of his head, but Annora paid little attention. She knew how moody men could be. She saw them both to their rooms, unaware of the way Bracken kept an eye on his hostess. He went to Louisa’s room just as soon as the hallway was clear.
“I wish to be alone,” Louisa spoke on his knock.
“It’s me, Aunt Lou,” Bracken said, and the door was opened immediately. He hugged her the moment the door closed.
“Oh, Bracken,” she whispered, barely holding tears as she stepped from his embrace. “I had no idea, not a clue.”
“I know,” he said. “I was certain the situation had to be difficult, but I wasn’t aware of the full extent myself. I must admit that I’ve judged Megan too harshly where the relationship with her mother is concerned.”
Louisa went to a chair. She was trembling so badly that she had to sit down.
“I’m angry at Annora,” she admitted. “But I’m furious with Vincent. When he was at Hawkings Crest, he made me think his love for Megan was indescribably deep, but as soon as Annora fought with him, he backed down like a man defeated. If he truly loved Megan, how could he do such a thing?”
“I do not know, but I don’t think I can take much more.”
“What will you do?”
“I am not certain. Were she already my wife, I would not have remained silent, but when the situation is like this, I hesitate to act.”
As soon as he had seen that Louisa was going to be all right, Bracken returned to his room and paced for a time. He was most anxious to see Megan, but it had taken more contemplation on what he’d seen to strengthen his resolve in another man’s castle and with that man’s daughter. In the end he reasoned that although Megan was not yet his wife, he didn’t have to stand back and see her abused in anyway.
With that thought firmly planted in his mind, he left his bedchamber. A servant was passing, and with the authority that came naturally to him, he said, “I wish to see Lady Megan.”
“Yes, my lord,” the servant responded, swiftly changing direction. “I’ll show you the way.”
Once at the door, Bracken knocked. The door was opened by another servant after just a moment.
“I wish to see Lady Megan,” Bracken repeated.
“Of course, my lord. Just one moment.”
The door was closed in his face, but the woman was back directly.
“Lady M
egan asks if she can meet with you in a few minutes.”
“That would be fine.”
The servant came out into the hall. “I’ll show you to the salon.”
Bracken followed without a word and was inside the spacious upstairs salon for less than five minutes before Megan joined him. He could see at a glance that she had bathed, and this reminded him of his own unwashed state. At any rate, the loveliness of her face and form did not distract Bracken from what he considered to be a more important matter—Megan’s heart. And Bracken planned to know the state of that vital member before either one of them left the room.
“How are you, Megan?” Bracken wasted no time.
“I’m well,” she told him, having understood exactly why he wished to see her. “Bracken, don’t mind Mother. She is often like that.” Megan smiled to reassure him, but Bracken was not convinced. The young earl refused to believe that Annora’s words had no effect. Bracken wanted to know more but wasn’t sure how to question her. While he was still weighing his next words, Annora herself interrupted them.
“Megan, I am ready for you.”
Does her voice always sound so harsh and impatient when she speaks to Megan? Bracken wondered.
“I trust that I’m not disturbing anything,” Annora said belatedly, and in a voice that said it wouldn’t have mattered.
“No,” Megan answered with a swift look at Bracken. “I’ll see you later, Bracken.”
“Yes,” was all the young knight could manage before both women swept out of the room.
Much to Bracken’s surprise, the remainder of day was not a disaster. He even managed to find some time with Megan in the late afternoon. They were not alone exactly, since the great hall was always occupied, but they had taken two chairs by the hearth and actually talked for an hour without being disturbed.
“How did the dress fitting go?” Bracken had searched his mind for several minutes for something to talk about and was feeling quite proud of his opening.