CHAPTER V
THE MORNING
Day broke upon a world of streaming rain. Stella sat before a mealspread in the dining-room and wanly watched it. Peter hovered near her;she had a suspicion that the meal was somehow of his contriving. But howhe had arrived she had not the least idea and was too weary to ask.
Tommy had fallen into natural sleep, and Ralston had persuaded her toleave him in his care for a while, promising to send for her at once ifoccasion arose. She had left Monck there also, but she fancied Ralstondid not mean to let him stay. Her thoughts dwelt oddly upon Monck. Hehad surprised her; more, in some fashion he had pierced straight throughher armour of indifference. Wholly without intention he had imposed hispersonality upon her. He had made her recognize him as a force thatcounted. Though Major Ralston had been engaged upon the same task, sherealized that it was his effort alone that had brought Tommy back.And--she saw it clearly--it was sheer love and nought else that hadobtained the mastery. This man whom she had always regarded as a beingapart, grimly self-contained, too ambitious to be capable of more than apassing fancy, had shown her something in his soul which she knew to beDivine. He was not, it seemed, so aloof as she had imagined him to be.The friendship between himself and Tommy was not the one-sided affairthat she and a good many others had always believed it. He cared forTommy, cared very deeply. Somehow that fact made a vast difference toher, such a difference as seemed to reach to the very centre of herbeing. She felt as if she had underrated something great.
The rush of the rain on the roof of the verandah seemed to make coherentthought impossible. She gazed at the meal before her and wondered if shecould bring herself to partake of it. Peter had put everything ready toher hand, and in justice to him she felt as if she ought to make theattempt. But a leaden weariness was upon her. She felt more inclined tosink back in her chair and sleep.
There came a sound behind her, and she was aware of someone entering.She fancied it was Peter returned to mark her progress, and stretchedher hand to the coffee-urn. But ere she touched it she knew that she wasmistaken. She turned and saw Monck.
By the grey light of the morning his face startled her. She had neverseen it look so haggard. But out of it the dark eyes shone, alert andindomitable, albeit she suspected that they had not slept for manyhours.
He made her a brief bow. "May I join you?" he said.
His manner was formal, but she could not stand on her dignity with himat that moment. Impulsively, almost involuntarily it seemed to herlater, she rose, offering him both her hands. "Captain Monck," she said,"you are--splendid!"
Words and action were alike wholly spontaneous. They were also whollyunexpected. She saw a strange look flash across his face. Just for asecond he hesitated. Then he took her hands and held them fast.
"Ah--Stella!" he said.
With the name his eyes kindled. His weariness vanished as darknessvanishes before the glare of electricity. He drew her suddenly andswiftly to him.
For a few throbbing seconds Stella was so utterly amazed that she madeno resistance. He astounded her at every turn, this man. And yet in somestrange and vital fashion her moods responded to his. He was not beyondcomprehension or even sympathy. But as she found his dark face close tohers and felt his eyes scorch her like a flame, expediency rather thandismay urged her to action. There was something so sublimely naturalabout him at that moment that she could not feel afraid.
She drew back from him gasping. "Oh please--please!" she said. "CaptainMonck, let me go!"
He held her still, though he drew her no closer. "Must I?" he said. Andin a lower voice, "Have you forgotten how once in this very room youtold me--that I had come to you--too late? And--now!"
The last words seemed to vibrate through and through her. She quiveredfrom head to foot. She could not meet the passion in his eyes, butdesperately she strove to cope with it ere it mounted beyond hercontrol.
"Ah no, I haven't forgotten," she said. "But I was a good deal youngerthen. I didn't know much of life. I have changed--I have changedenormously."
"You have changed--in that respect?" he asked her, and she heard in hisvoice that note of stubbornness which she had heard on that night thatseemed so long ago--the night before her marriage.
She freed one hand from his hold and set it pleadingly against hisbreast. "That is a difficult question to answer," she said. "But do youthink a slave would willingly go back into servitude when once he hasfelt the joy of freedom?"
"Is that what marriage means to you?" he said.
She bent her head. "Yes."
But still he did not let her go. "Stella," he said, "I haven't changedsince that night."
She trembled again, but she spoke no word, nor did she raise her eyes.
He went on slowly, quietly, almost on a note of fatalism. "It is beyondthe bounds of possibility that I should change. I loved you then, I loveyou now. I shall go on loving you as long as I live. I never thought itpossible that you could care for me--until you told me so. But I shallnot ask you to marry me so long as the thought of marriage means slaveryto you. All I ask is that you will not hold yourself back from lovingme--that you will not be afraid to be true to your own heart. Is thattoo much?"
His voice was steady again. She raised her eyes and met his look. Thepassion had gone out of it, but the dominance remained. She thrilledagain to the mastery that had held Tommy back from death.
For a moment she could not speak. Then, as he waited, she gathered herstrength to answer. "I mean to be true," she said rather breathlessly."But I--I value my freedom too much ever to marry again. Please, I wantyou to understand that. You mustn't think of me in that way. You mustn'tencourage hopes that can never be fulfilled."
A faint gleam crossed his face. "That is my affair," he said.
"Oh, but I mean it." Quickly she broke in upon him. "I am in earnest. Iam in earnest. It wouldn't be right of me to let you imagine--to let youthink--" she faltered suddenly, for something obstructed her utterance.The next moment swiftly she covered her face. "My dear!" he said.
He led her back to the table and made her sit down. He knelt beside her,his arms comfortingly around her.
"I've made you cry," he said. "You're worn out. Forgive me! I'm a bruteto worry you like this. You've had a rotten time of it, I know, I know.No, don't be afraid of me! I won't say another word. Just lean on me,that's all. I won't let you down, I swear."
She took him at his word for a space and leaned upon him; for she had noalternative. She was weary to the soul of her; her strength was gone.
But gradually his strength helped her to recover. She looked up atlength with a quivering smile. "There! I am going to be sensible. Youmust be worn out too. I can see you are. Sit down, won't you, and let usforget this?"
He met her look steadily. "No, I can't forget," he said. "But I shan'tpester you. I don't believe in pestering any one. I shouldn't have doneit now, only--" he broke off faintly smiling--"it's all Tommy's fault,confound him!" he said, and rose, giving her shoulder a pat that wassomehow more reassuring to her than any words.
She laughed rather tremulously. "Poor Tommy! Now please sit down andhave a rational meal! You are looking positively gaunt. It will beTommy's and my turn to nurse you next if you are not careful."
He pulled up a chair and seated himself. "What a pleasing suggestion!But I doubt if Tommy's assistance will be very valuable to any one forsome little time to come. No milk in that coffee, please. I will havesome brandy."
Looking back upon that early breakfast, Stella smiled to herself thoughnot without misgiving. For somehow, in spite of what had preceded it, itwas a very light-hearted affair. She had never seen Monck in so genial amood. She had not believed him capable of it. For though he lookedwretchedly ill, his spirits were those of a conqueror.
Doubtless he regarded the turn in Tommy's illness as a distinct andpersonal victory. But was that his only cause for triumph? She wishedshe knew.