CHAPTER X
THE SURRENDER
The moon was full on Christmas Eve. It shone in such splendour that thewhole world was transformed into a fairyland of black and silver. Stellastood on the verandah of the Green Bungalow looking forth into thedazzling night with a tremor at her heart. The glory of it was in asense overwhelming. It made her feel oddly impotent, almost afraid, asif some great power menaced her. She had never felt the ruthlessness ofthe East more strongly than she felt it that night. But the druggedfeeling that had so possessed her in the mountains was wholly absentfrom her now. She felt vividly alive, almost painfully conscious of thequick blood pulsing through her veins. She was aware of an intenselonging to escape even while the magic of the night yet drew herirresistibly. Deep in her heart there lurked an uncertainty which shecould not face. Up to that moment she had been barely aware of itsexistence, but now she felt it stirring, and strangely she was afraid.Was it the call of the East, the wonder of the moonlight? Or was itsome greater thing yet, such as had never before entered into her life?She could not say; but her face was still firmly set towards the goal ofliberty. Whatever was in store for her, she meant to extricate herself.She meant to cling to her freedom at all costs. When next she stood uponthat verandah, the ordeal she had begun to dread so needlessly, sounreasonably, would be over, and she would have emerged triumphant.
So she told herself, even while the shiver of apprehension which shecould not control went through her, causing her to draw her wrap moreclosely about her though there was nought but a pleasant coolness in thesoft air that blew across the plain.
She and Tommy were to drive with the Ralstons to the ruined palace inthe jungle of Khanmulla where the picnic was to take place. She hadnever seen it, but had heard it described as the most romantic spot inMarkestan. It had been the site of a fierce battle in some bye-gone age,and its glories had departed. For centuries it had lain deserted andcrumbling. Yet some of its ancient beauty remained. Its marble floorsand walls of carved stone were not utterly obliterated though only owlsand flying-foxes made it their dwelling-place. Natives regarded it withsuperstitious awe and seldom approached it. But Europeans all lookedupon it as the most beautiful corner within reach, and had it beennearer to Kurrumpore, it would have been a far more frequentedplayground than it was.
The hoot of a motor-horn broke suddenly upon the silence, and Stellastarted. It was the horn of Major Ralston's little two-seater; she knewit well. But they had not proposed using it that night. She and Tommywere to accompany them in a waggonette. The crunching of wheels andthrob of the engine at the gate told her it was stopping. Then theRalstons had altered their plans, unless--Something suddenly leapt upwithin her. She was conscious of a curious constriction at the throat, asense of suffocation. The fuss and worry of the engine died down intosilence, and in a moment there came the sound of a man's feet enteringthe compound. Standing motionless, with hands clenched against hersides, she gazed forth. A tall, straight figure was coming towards herbetween the whispering tamarisks. It was not Major Ralston. He walkedwith a slouch, and this man's gait was firm and purposeful. He came upto the verandah-steps with unfaltering determination. He was lookingfull at her, and she knew that she stood revealed in the marvellousIndian moonlight. He mounted the steps with the same absoluteself-assurance that yet held nought of arrogance. His face remained inshadow, but she did not need to see it. The reason of his coming wasproclaimed in every line, in every calm, unwavering movement.
He came to her, and she waited there in the merciless moonlight; for shehad no choice.
"I have come for you," he said.
The words were brief, but they thrilled her strangely. Her eyesfluttered and refused to meet his look.
"The Ralstons are taking us," she said.
Her tone was cold, her bearing aloof. She was striving for self-control.He could not have known of the tumult within her. Yet he smiled. "Theyare taking Tommy," he said.
She heard the stubborn note in his voice and suddenly and completely thepower to resist went from her.
She held out her hand to him with a curious gesture of appeal, "CaptainMonck, if I come with you--"
His fingers closed about her own. "If?" he said.
She made a rather piteous attempt to laugh. "Really I don't want to,"she said.
"Really?" said Monck. He drew a little nearer to her, still holding herhand. His grasp was firm and strong. "Really?" he said again.
She stood in silence, for she could not give him any answer.
He waited for a moment or two; then, "Stella," he said, "are you afraidof me?"
She shook her head. Her lips had begun to tremble inexplicably."No--no," she said.
"What then?" He spoke with a gentleness that she had never heard fromhim before. "Of yourself?"
She turned her face away from him. "I am afraid--of life," she told himbrokenly. "It is like a great Wheel--a vast machinery. I have beencaught in it once--caught and crushed. Oh can't you understand?"
"Yes," he said.
Again for a space he was silent, his hand yet holding hers. There wassubtle comfort in his grasp. It held protection.
"And so you want to run away from it?" he said at length. "Do you thinkthat's going to help you?"
She choked back a sob. "I don't know. I have no judgment. I don't trustmyself."
"You believe in sincerity?" he said. "In being true to yourself?" Then,as she winced, "No, I don't want to go over old ground. We are talkingof present things. I'm not going to pester you, not going to ask you tomarry me even--" again she was aware of his smile though his speechsounded grim--"until you have honestly answered the question that youare trying to shirk. Perhaps you won't thank me for reminding you asecond time of a conversation that you and I once had on this very spot,but I must. I told you that I had been waiting for my turn. And you toldme that I had come--too late."
He paused, but she did not speak. She was trembling from head to foot.
He leaned towards her. "Stella, I'm not such a fool as to make the samemistake twice over. I'm not going to miss my turn a second time. I lovedyou then--though I had never flattered myself that I had a chance. Andmy love isn't the kind that burns and goes out." His voice suddenlyquivered. "I don't know whether you have any use for it. You have beentoo discreet and cautious to betray yourself. Your heart has been aclosed book to me. But to-night--I am going to open that book. I havethe right, and you can't deny it to me. If you were queen of the wholeearth I should still have the right, because I love you, to ask you--asI ask you now--have you any love for me? There! I have done it. If youcan tell me honestly that I am nothing to you, that is the end. But ifnot--if not--" again she heard a deep vibration in his voice--"thendon't be afraid--in the name of Heaven! Marriage with me would not meanslavery."
He stopped abruptly and turned from her. From the room behind them therecame a cheery hail. Tommy came tramping through.
"Hullo, old chap! You, is it? Has Stella been attending to your comfort?Have you had a drink?"
Monck's answer had a sardonic note, "Your sister has been kindnessitself--as she always is. No drinks for me, thanks. I am just off inRalston's car to Khanmulla." He turned deliberately back again toStella. "Will you come with me? Or will you go with Tommy--and theRalstons?"
There was neither anxiety nor persuasion in his voice. Tommy frownedover its utter lack of emotion. He did not think his friend was playinghis cards well.
But to Stella that coolness had a different meaning. It stirred her toan impulse more headlong than at the moment she realized.
"I will come with you," she said.
"Good!" said Monck simply, and stood back for her to pass.
She went by him without a glance. She felt as if the wild throbbing ofher heart would choke her. He had spoken in such a fashion as she haddreamed that he could ever speak. He had spoken and she had not sent himaway. That was the thought that most disturbed her. Till that moment ithad seemed a comparatively easy thing to do. Her course had been clear.But h
e had appealed to that within her which could not be ignored. Hehad appealed to the inner truth of her nature, and she could not closeher ears to that. He asked her only to be true to herself. He had takenhis stand on higher ground than that on which she stood. He had noturged any plea on his own behalf. He had only urged her to be honest.And in so doing he had laid bare that ancient mistake of hers that haddevastated her life. He did not desire her upon the same terms as thoseupon which she had bestowed herself upon Ralph Dacre. He made thatabundantly clear. He did not ask her to subordinate her happiness tohis. He only asked for straight dealing from her, and she knew that heasked it as much for her sake as for his own. He would not seek to holdher if she did not love him. That was the great touchstone to which hehad brought her, and she knew that she must face the test. The masteryof his love compelled her. As he had freely asserted, he had theright--just because he was an honourable man and he loved herhonourably.
But how far would that love of his carry him? She longed to know. It wasnot the growth of a brief hour's passion. That at least she knew. Itwould not burn and go out. It would endure; somehow she realized thatnow past disputing. But was it first and greatest with him? Were hischerished career, his ambition, of small account beside it? Was hewilling to do sacrifice to it? And if so, how great a sacrifice was heprepared to offer?
She yearned to ask him as he sped her in silence through the chequeredmoonlight of the Khanmulla jungle. But some inner force restrained her.She feared to break the spell.
The road was deserted, just as it had been on that dripping night whenshe had answered his summons to Tommy's sick bed. She recalled that wildrush through the darkness, his grim strength, his determination. Theiron of his will had seemed to compass her then. Was it the sameto-night? Had her freedom already been wrested from her? Was there to beno means of escape?
Through the jungle solitudes there came the call of an owl, weird anddesolate and lonely. Something in it pierced her with a curious pain.Was freedom then everything? Did she truly love the silence above all?
She drew her cloak closer about her. Was there something of a chill inthe atmosphere? Or was it the chill of the desert beyond the oasis thatawaited her?
They emerged from the thickest part of the jungle into a space oftangled shrubs that seemed fighting with each other for possession ofthe way. The road was rough, and Monck slackened speed.
"We shall have to leave the car," he said. "There is a track here thatleads to the ruined palace. It is only a hundred yards or so. We shallhave to do it on foot."
They descended. The moonlight poured in a flood all about them. Theywere alone.
Stella turned up the narrow path he indicated, but in a moment heovertook her. "Let me go first!" he said.
He passed her with the words and walked ahead, holding the creepers backfrom her as she followed.
She suffered him silently, with a strange sense of awe, almost as thoughshe trod holy ground. But the old feeling of trespass was wholly absent.She had no fear of being cast forth from this place that she was aboutto enter.
The path began to widen somewhat and to ascend. In a few moments theycame upon a crumbling stonewall crossing it at right angles.
Monck paused. "One way leads to the palace, the other to the temple," hesaid. "Which shall we take?"
Stella faced him in the moonlight. She thought he looked stern. "Is notthe picnic to be at the palace?" she said.
"Yes." He answered her without hesitation. "You will find Lady Harrietand Co. there. The temple on the other hand is probably deserted."
"Ah!" His meaning flashed upon her. She stood a second in indecision.Then "Is it far?" she said.
She saw his faint smile for an instant. "A very long way--for you," hesaid.
"I can come back?" she said.
"I shall not prevent you." She heard the smile in his voice, andsomething within her thrilled in answer.
"Let us go then!" she said.
He turned without further words and led the way.
They entered the shadow of the jungle once more. For a space the pathran beside the crumbling wall, then it diverged from it, winding darklyinto the very heart of the jungle. Monck walked without hesitation. Heevidently knew the place well.
They came at length upon a second clearing, smaller than the first, andhere in the centre of a moonlit space there stood the ruined walls of alittle native temple or mausoleum.
A flight of worn, marble steps led to the dark arch of the doorway.Monck stretched a hand to his companion, and they ascended side by side.A bubbling murmur of water came from within. It seemed to fill the placewith gurgling, gnomelike laughter. They entered and Monck stood still.
For a space of many seconds he neither moved nor spoke. It was almost asif he were waiting for some signal. They looked forth into the moonlightthey had left through the cave-like opening. The air around them waschill and dank. Somewhere in the darkness behind them a frog croaked,and tiny feet scuttled and scrambled for a few moments and then werestill.
Again Stella shivered, drawing her cloak more closely round her. "Whydid you bring me to this eerie place?" she said, speaking under herbreath involuntarily.
He stirred as if her words aroused him from a reverie. "Are you afraid?"he said.
"I should be--- by myself," she made answer. "I don't think I like Indiaat too close quarters. She is so mysterious and so horribly ruthless."
He passed over the last two sentences as though they had not beenuttered. "But you are not afraid with me?" he said.
She quivered at something in his question. "I am not sure," she said. "Isometimes think that you are rather ruthless too."
"Do you know me well enough to say that?" he said.
She tried to answer him lightly. "I ought to by this time. I have hadample opportunity."
"Yes," he said rather bitterly. "But you are prejudiced. You cling to apreconceived idea. If you love me--it is in spite of yourself."
Something in his voice hurt her like the cry of a wounded thing. Shemade a quick, impulsive movement towards him. "Oh, but that is not so!"she said. "You don't understand. Please don't think anything so--so hardof me!"
"Are you sure it is not so?" he said. "Stella! Stella! Are you sure?"
The words pierced her afresh. She suddenly felt that she could bear nomore. "Oh, please!" she said. "Oh, please!" and laid a quivering handupon his arm. "You are making it very difficult for me. Don't yourealize how much better it would be for your own sake not to press meany further?"
"No!" he said; just the one word, spoken doggedly, almost harshly. Hishands were clenched and rigid at his sides.
Almost instinctively she began to plead with him as one who pleads forfreedom. "Ah, but listen a moment! You have your life to live. Yourcareer means very much to you. Marriage means hindrance to a man likeyou. Marriage means loitering by the way. And there is no time toloiter. You have taken up a big thing, and you must carry it through.You must put every ounce of yourself into it. You must work like agalley slave. If you don't you will be--a failure."
"Who told you that?" he demanded.
She met the fierceness of his eyes unflinchingly. "I know it. Everyoneknows it. You have given yourself heart and soul to India, to theEmpire. Nothing else counts--or ever can count now--in the same way. Itis quite right that it should be so. You are a builder, and you mustfollow your profession. You will follow it to the end. And you will dogreat things,--immortal things." Her voice shook a little. "But you mustkeep free from all hampering burdens, all private cares. Above all, youmust not think of marriage with a woman whose chief desire is to escapefrom India and all that India means, whose sympathies are utterly alienfrom her, and whose youth has died a violent death at her hands. Oh,don't you see the madness of it? Surely you must see!"
A quiver of deep feeling ran through her words. She had not meant to goso far, but she was driven, driven by a force that would not be denied.She wanted him to see the matter with her eyes. Somehow that seemedessential now. Things had gon
e so far between them. It was intolerablenow that he should misunderstand.
But as she ceased to speak, she abruptly realized that the effect of herwords was other than she intended. He had listened to her with a rigidpatience, but as her words went into silence it seemed as if the ironwill by which till then he had held himself in check had suddenlysnapped.
He stood for a second or two longer with an odd smile on his face andthat in his eyes which startled her into a momentary feeling that wasalmost panic; then with a single, swift movement he bent and caught herto him.
"And you think that counts!" he said. "You think that anything on earthcounts--but this!"
His lips were upon hers as he ended, stopping all protest, allutterance. He kissed her hotly, fiercely, holding her so pressed thatabove the wild throbbing of her own heart she felt the deep, strong beatof his. His action was passionate and overwhelming. She would havewithstood him, but she could not; and there was that within her thatrejoiced, that exulted, because she could not. Yet as at last his lipsleft hers, she turned her face aside, hiding it from him that he mightnot see how completely he had triumphed.
He laughed a little above her bent head; he did not need to see."Stella, you and I have got to sink or swim together. If you won't havesuccess with me, then I will share your failure."
She quivered at his words; she was clinging to him almost withoutknowing it. "Oh, no! Oh, no!" she said.
His hand came gently upwards and lay upon her head. "My dear, that restswith you. I have sworn that marriage to me shall not mean bondage. IfIndia is any obstacle between us, India will go."
"Oh, no!" she said again. "No, Everard! No!"
He bent his face to hers. His lips were on her hair. "You love me,Stella," he said.
She was silent, her breathing short, spasmodic, difficult.
His cheek pressed her forehead. "Why not own it?" he said softly. "Isit--so hard?"
She lifted her face swiftly; her arms clasped his neck. "And if--if Ido,--will you let me go?" she asked him tremulously.
The smile still hovered about his lips. "No," he said.
"It is madness," she pleaded desperately.
"It is--Kismet," he made answer, and took her face between his handslooking deeply, steadily, into her eyes. "Your life is bound up withmine. You know it. Stella, you know it."
She uttered a sob that yet was half laughter. "I have done my best," shesaid. "Why are you so--so merciless?"
"You surrender?" he said.
She gave herself to the drawing of his hands. "Have I any choice?"
"Not if you are honest," he said.
"Ah!" She coloured rather painfully. "I have at least been honest intrying to keep you from this--this big mistake. I know you will repentit. When this--fever is past, you will regret--oh, so bitterly."
He set his jaw and all the grim strength of the man was suddenlyapparent. "Shall I tell you the secret of success?" he said abruptly."It is just never to look back. It is the secret of happiness also, ifpeople only realized it. If you want to make the best of life, you'vegot to look ahead. I'm going to make you do that, Stella. You've beensitting mourning by the wayside long enough."
She smiled almost in spite of herself, for the note of mastery in hisvoice was inexplicably sweet. "I've thought that myself," she said. "ButI'm not going to let you patch up my life with yours. If this mustbe--and you are sure--you are sure that it must?"
"I have spoken," he said.
She faced him resolutely. "Then India shall have us both. Now I havespoken too."
His face changed. The grimness became eagerness. "Stella, do you meanthat?" he said. "It's a big sacrifice--too big for you."
Her eyes were shining as stars shine through a mist. She was drawing hishead downwards that her lips might reach his. "Oh, my darling," shesaid, and the thrill of love triumphant was in her words, "nothing wouldbe--too big. It simply ceases to be a sacrifice--if it is done--for yourdear sake."
Her lips met his upon the words, and in that kiss she gave him all shehad. It was the rich bestowal of a woman's full treasury, than which itmay be there is nought greater on earth.