Paul went inside our room one evening after his recording session and greeted me with a hug.
“Hey, bella…” He smiled and kissed me.
“I missed you,” I smiled, “How did it go?”
“Great,” He said, “We can head back to New York tomorrow and come back here again when the producers say so. I’ll be working with Rodney Jerkins on a track, can you believe it? Wow.”
“You deserve it,” I smiled.
He squeezed my hand, “Thank you,” He said.
“Nah, thank you,” I said, “You know what? I think I finally know what I can do to repay you for everything.”
“Really, huh? What?”
“We should go to Florence.”
He looked at me curiously, “Mindy, what?”
“We should go to Florence, visit Selina’s grave—“
“Mindy, we don’t have to do that.”
“Look,” I said as I held his hand, “You helped me clear up so many chapters of my life. You helped me with my mom, and dad, and with my real father, even though he turned out to be dead. Paul, I love you, and I know you love me, but I think the only way this would all be better is if we put an end to things that bother us. And you did that, for me. Now I just wanna do the same—“
“We’re not going to Florence.”
“Paul, denial won’t help—“
“I am not in denial.”
“Then why don’t you wanna go to Florence?”
“Because we have no business there.”
“Paul, you need some closure. You need to say goodbye to Selina.”
“And who are you to tell me how to live my life?”
“I’m just concerned—“
“Hell yeah? Then stop with the Florence thing!”
I took a deep breath, “I let you help me with things in my life, I let you in my life, all I’m asking is for you to give me even just a little space in yours—“
“I don’t wanna hear it.”
“What is wrong with you?!”
“What is wrong with me?” He said, “What is wrong with you?! We’re fine, you know? We’re both fine, and now what are you doing?”
“I just wanna help—“
“You wanna help? Fine,” He said, “Help yourself.”
And he got out of our room without looking back.
21
"The time between meeting and finally leaving is sometimes called falling in love..."
-Lis aLoeb, “Falling in Love”
My feet were plopped up on the center table while I was holding a bowl of popcorn in one hand and a remote control in the other. I was watching the entire third season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians on DVD. I figured some other people’s “Real” lives are better to watch than mine.
Paul didn’t go back to our hotel room that night in LA and so I had to go back here in New York alone. It’s been a few days and he hasn’t sent me an e-mail, a text, a call…anything. Maybe it was over.
Okay, yes, yes, it does hurt. Why would I watch some reality show if I’m totally okay, right? But somehow, I wanna believe that it’s really not the end of it all. That maybe, just maybe, he’d comeback.
Or well, maybe not.
I sound pathetic.
“Wow, a Kardashian marathon!” Caroline said as she went inside the house and sat down beside me. She placed down a grocery bag on the table.
“Why, you are here…”
“I’m sure misery loves company,” She winked and nudged me, “You okay? I mean, I didn’t know you were into the Kardashians…”
I laughed, “This is how we artists roll, sister.”
She smiled, “I’m sorry for what happened.”
“Oh, don’t mind it, maybe he’s just not ready to let go of her,” I answered, “However, this Kardashian show is quite funny, don’t you think?”
She smiled, “I love Khloe!”
“She’s my favorite too!” I said, “Fierce, feisty…and crazy!”
She laughed, “Just like you…”
I took a deep breath, “I didn’t really know love could hurt like this. It’s insane.”
“You’ll be okay,” She said, “Trust me.”
I smiled. Just then, someone rang the doorbell.
“I’ll get it,” Caroline said and stood up.
I looked back after a few seconds when Caroline wasn’t speaking and realized why.
Paul was there, just inches away from me.
I stood up, “Hey,” I said.
“Hey…” He shot back.
“I think I shall leave you two alone,” Caroline said, “I’ll just be outside.”
“Thanks, C!” I called out and took a deep breath as I looked at Paul. “So,” I muttered, “You’re here.”
“Yeah, and I’m sorry,” He said, “I shouldn’t have left just like that. Actually, I shouldn’t have left at all.”
“You didn’t have to come here—“
“I wanted to,” He said, “I’m sorry, I’ve been an ass. I knew you just wanted to do the right thing and I over-reacted. Mindy, I’m sorry.”
“I just want you to be happy,” I said, “To recover….”
He then took something out of his jeans pocket. It was a small box. He opened it and out came a ring with a fairy on top. He knelt on the floor.
“Whoa, hey, Paul—“
“I already had everything when I had you,” He said, “And I’ve been such a fool. I had the best, you know? You’re the best and I’m an ass. And I’m sorry…please forgive me. I promise to make you the happiest girl on earth, to give you your strawberry fields, to search the world for fairies…to love you with every breath…Mindy, will you marry me?”
Epilogue
Poetry, beauty, romance, love…that’s what we stay alive for.
-One Tree Hill
“Mindy?” Paul said, still kneeling down, “Say anything?”
I looked at him and thought long and hard about his question. I gazed into his eyes, took a deep breath and knew the answer.
“Mindy? Will you?”
“No,” I answered, “Not yet, at least…” I smiled.
He stood up little by little, “No?”
“Not yet,” I said, “Well, we might, one day, if you could wait…” I smiled and held his hands, “Look, Paul, I love you, you know that, but I don’t think marriage is in the cards right now. However, if you may, I still want us to be together, but,” I paused and went on, “we’ll do things slowly, rightfully. We’d go to Florence, I’d help you start painting again, you’d help me with the shop…”
I saw a smile creeping up his face.
“…We’ll be happy,” I said, “Face it, we’re not ready for marriage yet. And we have something so beautiful, so beautiful that it would be stupid to just make hasty decisions and throw it away like that.”
He kissed me, “You’re right,” He said, “I guess, I was just wanting to make this right but I didn’t really know how to.”
“And now we have all the time in the world to make this world.” I winked.
He laughed, “I like the way your mind works,” He said, “So, what’s the plan?”
What’s the plan? Who knows, really? The possibilities are endless and this is only just the beginning.
I smiled and led him to the chair, “For now, let’s just watch the Kardashians…”
He smiled back.
~♥~
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